What the SUCK?

I believe the term I'm looking for here is..."Shit happens"?  You've all heard it, Right?  Well, there is that term, and then there is SHIT HAPPENS!!!!!!

It has been a BANNER day of "the suck" here at Casa MVP.  For real, UN-BEE-LEAVE-ABLE caca poopy happening around here.

Owning a house with toddlers and small children should just not be allowed.  I want a re-do.  Can we rewind and start over?  Please?

Right, so here is my day.

Got up, fiddled around for a bit, fed the kids breakfast and then decided to be such a NICE Mommy and take them all swimming (Brooklyn spent the night).  We swam for a good long time.  I worked with Maggie on her swim skillz.  I worked with Brooklyn on her diving into the water (it didn't help) and just played out there forever.  Totally deserving the good mom points, especially because I don't enjoy swimming as just a for the sake of doing it thing.  Got them all dried, in the house, ready to take showers.  Brooklyn and Maggie were gonna do a duo shower, so I turned on the water for them, got it just the right temp and then turn the knob for the shower.  Suddenly, water was spraying at me FROM.THE.WALL. 

What the hell? 

I reached up to stop it and turn the water off at the same time, when suddenly, the entire shower head and part of the pipe just came OUT of the wall. 

WHAT THE HELL? 

Brooklyn then calmly says, "Oh, that was Maggie?" Excuse me?  Maggie did what? She then says that Maggie had "swung" on the shower and it broke. which, if true, happened yesterday, and they never bothered to inform us.  So, here is what our current shower situation looks like.

Not looking good.

Apparently she "swung" from the tubing of the detachable showerhead part.

Look here Tarzana, what ever would possess you to DO that?

Something tells me I am SCREWED!

And here is what the Mom looks like now:

I was so, for lack of a better term.....pissed and shocked, i couldn't even cry about it.  At the time I needed to get in the shower and hurry because we needed to leave to pick up our car (that story coming).

So, we all get showered in my shower(not at the same time, trust me, my shower is mini) and I finally finished getting ready.  I had Jere herd the kids toward the car so we could try and move faster.  I heard the garage door going, and then an "uh oh, this isn't good."  Only to see the garage door STILL down.  Jere said, "it sounds like its working, but its not moving."  Then Maggie says, ever so nonchallantly  "Oh, that's Brooklyn.  She broke it."  WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????

Yep, Brooklyn pipes up, well Maggie told me to.  Really, Fanny follower, if she told you to eat her poop, would you?  She had grabbed a hold of this red cord thing and hung from it, and SNAPPED the main wire that lifts the garage door.  All in just a matter of seconds.  Jere had turned his back to take his meds, heard a thud against the garage door, but didn't think anything of it.  Ta DA!  Destructo and her partner struck again.

You have GOT to be FREAKING kidding me at this point.

Pretty sure there were flames, heaving, breathless, white hot flames on the side of my face. It was a rage and a frustration like no other.  I mean really.  WHY?  I've lived here exactly 1 month and already two MAJOR repairs that trust me, I can NOT afford to do.  I may or may not have lost my Shishkabob on them, and totally sucked at motherhood.  Jere had to excuse himself, for fear he may hurt someone.  BUT, we didn't have time to punish, discipline or cry.  We were very late to pick up the car and get jere to work.  So, we piled in, in stoney silence (after we'd calmed Max down, who was crying and upset because we were upset, and thought HE was in trouble, poor thing) and drove to get the car.

I called my parents and cried, and told them everything.  Their response?  "I'd forgotten how much little kids can destroy."  and "You had better spank them hard and sit them in a corner."  And essentially (though not verbalized) "wow, sucks to be you."

See that little black wire?  Yeah, it's not s'posed to be just dangling there like that.  Nope, not s'posed to do that, AT.ALL.

See that face?

Serenity now!!!!

I believe Jeres comment as we were driving away was..."We shoulda just moved into an apartment."  Agreed!  I can't handle all this stuff.  It's too stressful.

THE VAN:

So, a couple weeks ago, we drove to workshop....all was well.  After we got home that day (between shows) I ran to grab some dinner.  But right away I could tell something was wrong, because instead of cool air blowing in my face, there were fiery darts from hell, blasting at me.  Somewhere between coming and going, the air had broken.  So, I hustled it down to our mechanic.  When he called me the next day and the first words out of his mouth were "do you have any warranty left?"  I KNEW we were not in for happy times.  Apparently, the clutch on the compressor had gone out, which is fairly unheard of in cars with as little miles as mine, and or on a HONDA!  But of course it happened to me.  OF COURSE!  He then informed me that it would be $1100.00.  Kill me now.  He suggested I take it to the dealer and plead my case (only 3000 miles past my warranty, take care of it, etc.) and see if they'd work with me.  After I cried and hyperventilated and yelled at God for awhile i decided to do just that.  I made an appt. at the dealership and took it down.  I explained all those things and they said they'd see what they could do.  Long story short.....Honda said they would "goodwill" fix it for me this one time and they completely fixed it under warranty so it cost me NOTHING!  Thank you for the small miracles. HOWEVER, when they were fixing it they found that my front engine mount was broken (also vERY rare for a car my age) and I needed new front breaks.  The dealership was gonna charge my 700+bucks for that.  So, I said, no thanks and called Hon-Man (my bro. in law and parents swear by him).  He said he'd fix it for nearly 300 less.  So, I took it in yesterday and today i got to pick it up. 

Hence, my added stress and frustration that I was shelling out $500 big ones for the car, while my kid and niece had done 1000's of dollars of damage at the house.

And lest we all forget....Millie (Jeres car) took a dump earlier this summer.  That little axel explosion cost us NINE HUNDRED dollars.  But, don't worry, she's workin like a champ now.

NOT.TO.MENTION......

This really pretty looking dishwasher only worked ONE TIME after we moved in.  Then, well, it just won't do anything.  Not even start.

Yet ANOTHER thing on the list.  Which I THOUGHT I might be able to get fixed.  but now.....not so much.  Which means....

Dirty dishes in my sink.

I hate washing dishes.

But I do it, daily.

Blech!

At least it's a lovely DEEP and big sink.  It can hide a lot of dishes.

Also, thank goodness I don't do much cooking these days.  Less dishes to wash.

So there you have it.  The story of our suck!

I HAD to sit down and write about it, otherwise I woulda just sat here and cried and or continued to rage and be pissed more.  How ridiculous that one of the first thoughts after it had all gone down was...."well, at least I'll finally have something to blog about."

Seriously....like my Mom said earlier.  You may as well laugh about it, because otherwise all you'd do is cry.  I know that's true.  And i'm really trying not to freak out on an epic level, I am.  But, it's sorta overwhelming and scarey round here at times.

With that said, I'm off to do something mind numbing so I don't have to think about the state of affairs round here.  The kids have been banished to their room for naps, and who knows.....maybe I'll just keep them there indefinitely.  One thing I do know for sure, they TOTALLY aren't getting the cookies they wanted.  HMPH!

Signed....the keeper of Tarzans apprentices,

Allyson