The great "boob squish" of '09!

So, a couple of weeks ago, I decided it was time I had a complete physical, seeing as I hadn't even been to a doctor (other than gyno) in 3 years, hadn't had a physical in 4 years AND the real hum dinger, I won't have insurance, or different insurance starting in end of August. So, the time is now to get things done. Imagine my surprise when I was able to get right in for a physical. In the past, i remember having to call and wait WEEKS before you could even get in. Anywho, I waltzed right in one morning, had my blood work done and then went in to see the doc a week later. The news was all roses all the way around. Not only am I apparently totally healthy, I have PERFECT cholesterol. I mean, like 125 and 51, Niiiiice! I was pleased as punch. Who knew? Also, it said my thyroid was good AND my calcium. Surprise! Anyway, I mentioned that I AM of that age when I should get a mammo and I've never had one. So, he wrote me up an order to get one and I phoned in for an appointment time.






Today was the big day....the day of the squish. And how much do I love Simon Med and their adorable office with all its antique furniture and warm and fuzzy colors. They were so nice and pretty prompt as well. Oh, did I mention that in the waiting room after you change into your little "gown" (side note: Dear gynee doctors EVERYWHERE, please take a note and a lesson from Simon Med and get these gowns. For the first time in my life my bubbies were completely covered and I was safe and secure in my nakedness.) there was a TV and fresh baked cookies. Cute, I'm telling you, just cute. So, the time has come, my happy little technician came and retrieved me and my free swinging boobies for the smoosh. You all know the folklore around this procedure. Women would have you believe that it's the most painful, awful thing ever. Imagine my surprise and delight when the whole thing took a whopping 10 minutes and I felt nary a pinch. Seriously, WHAT is all the fuss about? I was waiting for some pain, and instead, I felt NOTHING! Ok, I won't lie...having a stranger have to manhandle my boobs, and lift them up (yes literally lift them) and smooth them on the machine was a tad bit embarrassing, but what can a girl with shriveled hooters do? I mean really, I've NEVER had what you'd like to call "perky" ta tas. They grew way to fast, so I've literally always had big, saggy girls. Then you add in the fact that I had gastric and lost so much weight, they became, as my friend Nancy likes to say of hers "oranges in tube socks", THEN I had 2 babies, so they grew,shrunk, grew, shrunk. What is left is just simply put, not a pretty picture. The tech took 4 whole pictures and then said, that's all I need. I said to her "does this mean that they look so clean and good that you only had to take four?" She smiled and said "well, I will say this, you're quite photogenic, and they look good." And I'll just have to agree. I caught a glimpse of my breasticle on the screen, and it looked perfectly perfect, no dark spots, light spots, just milk ducts and veins, or whatever it was I was looking at. Good for me and my bad self. So there you have it, a completely painless, excellent adventure in mammography. Ladies, you have nothing to fear, get out and get it done.






To celebrate my excellent boobies, I stopped off at Target and picked up some hats.


I went looking for a cute and stylish hat for myself. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and trying to be "cool". While perusing the aisles, sans the kiddies, I came upon these little gems for each of them. They were on clearance for 2 bucks. Good times.

While Max looks adorable in a hat, he does NOT enjoy keeping it on. He immediately rips it off.

How freaking adorable is she in her little conductor hat? She looks like Strawberry Shortcake in it. Luckily, she enjoys herself a hat and wears it all around. Nearly as much as her shoes and her purses.

All in all, a good day, a good squish, a good hat!

Boobs and flatteners,

Allyson