Sunday, December 8, 2013

Someones on the NAUGHTY list!

I shoulda known that something was amiss...it had been to quiet for 5 minutes. I shoulda followed my gutt and checked.  But I didn't want to, I was happily watching a bad Hallmark Christmas movie starring Andy Garcia (southern accent and all) with Maggie.  And then there she was, desperately trying to tell me that something was wrong.  Mayzie kept saying "eeth" (teeth) and pointing to her mouth, and "ewwww". I had MADE SURE that Maggie had shut the bathroom door, because Mayzie is what we like to call obsessed with "brushing" her teeth. Maggie assured me she had closed it.  What I didn't ask was...was MY bathroom door shut.
NOPE! As I followed her back to my room, while she urgently "told" me something was wrong, I rounded the corner and saw it.

There, in my bathroom, the cupboards opened and emptied, my toothbrush on the counter (heaven only knows what filth it had experienced) the sink stopped up and water running over the counter into the cupboard, drawers and onto the floor below. My bathroom was FLOODED!

This child:




 
 Do not be deceived by her fluffy princess, smiley looks.  She WILL be the death of me.


She is 1000 times more destructive than my other two combined ever dreamed of being. In fact, I can count on one hand the things they ever did that were destructive. ONE HAND PEOPLE!

Not this girl.  Not my Mayzie lady.  She has already written on more walls and tables than I care to count.

Just this week alone she has decimated, DECIMATED I say at least 4 of my snowflake ornaments on the tree, as well as ripped some felt ornaments up and broken a couple of glass snowmen.  I give you photographic evidence of her shredding skill.

 See those little red specks? They used to be glorious red sparkly snowflakes. No more I tell you, NO MORE! She has crushed them to bits.

She has taken a highlighter to Jeres script, which means we now have to pay a hefty price to keep it instead of send it back.

She has broken a bottle of nail polish all over my kitchen floor.

Ripped pictures off my kids picture wall.

She's a devil in disguise.  And this last incidence, this bathroom flooding is certainly her greatest accomplishment.

So now, as I sit and smell the dank smell of wet cabinets (have I mentioned bathrooms totally creep me out, so having to wipe out corners was just more than I could bare), and I vacuum up the last bits of broken ornament and I sweep up the food she's flung across the kitchen, I think...

 Man I'm glad she's a part of our family, and that she lives with us. She is really very funny.  She GETS humor.  She understands at 19 months what it means to make people laugh, and what to do to get those laughs. She does this eye roll thing that seriously makes me pee every time.  So when I was super grumpy tonight, I asked her to please roll her eyes so I would laugh.  She obliged. I giggled.  I felt better.


 She wants to be a part of all the grown ups so bad. She gets real irritated when she doesn't get to sit at a big chair, or play with her siblings and their friends, and she tries to act like she's in on the conversation or jokes.  I love it! And she has THE BEST tantrums ever!  They also make me giggle, cause they're so hilarious.

She LOVES harder and better than any kid I know. She will hug and squeeze you with all her might.  She runs with pure love and glee toward her Daddy when he comes home. Or to her babysitter, or to our neighbor, or to people at church. She's no respector of persons.  She just is loving and friendly. She is really into kissing these days and she's got herself a right good pucker up.


It's a DARN good thing she's so dang cute, and that I love her, and that she makes me laugh every.single.day or she would be in some serious trouble! No, I mean it, cole in her stocking FOR SURE!

In the meantime, Ima gonna make sure that all doors are shut up tight, and items are placed high on shelves so there are no more incidences like these.

Naughty and nice,

Allyson

 

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A Boy and his quest.....

Max....he's such an interesting, funny, odd, quirky little boy.  He's most comfortable playing with Maggie and her friends.  He prefers his family to anyone else. He enjoys playing "mom and dad" which is Maggie and her friends version of playing house. He is sensitive and sweet and will often stop to tell me that he loves me. His feelings get genuinely hurt when Mayzie won't let him hold her. He's sure she hates him and he is crushed.  And yet, he's rough and spastic and crazy and loves to bounce balls, and ride his bike, scooter, jump on his pogo stick or do anything he can outside.

Yesterday, as I was in the middle of a voice lesson, he came racing in looking for a plastic cup. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to look for worms. I again asked why, and he said, he just really wanted to have some worms.  I asked where he was getting them and he said he was going to Mr. Lentz's house, who is a neighbor 3 houses down.  Apparently he fishes a lot or, he just happens to have a durth of earth worms. I don't know.  My kids are far better acquainted with all the neighbors than I am, that's for sure(which is easy to do when you're awesome like me and just your kids roam free).  Anyway, I got him a cup and he was excitedly on his way.

Just a few short minutes later he appeared back in the kitchen and he was very sad, crying in fact.  I asked him if Mr. Lentz didn't have any worms. And then, he came and stood right next to me and buried his head in my chest and just sobbed.  When I asked why he was SO sad, he said that Mr. Lentz DID have worms, but that he told Max he would have to pick them up if he wanted them.

Ummm, hello?  Max buddy, what did you THINK was going to be the case here?  

I said "Max, why did you want worms if you don't want to touch them?"
"He said I had to pick them up, and I didn't WANT to touch them." SOBBBBB!!

There was no consoling this child.  Long and the short of it is, he apparently just wanted to have worms in a cup, that he thought would magically get in there without him touching.

It took some doing, but I finally got him to stop waling next to me so I could finish my lesson, but he moved to the family room and seriously sobbed for a good 40 minutes over the injustice of not getting any worms. Finally, Jere came home and had a chat with him. He promised Max that he would come home from work today and help him dig for worms, in our barren, dry wasteland of a yard. It was just what Max needed to assauge his saddened heart.

Cut to today, the moment he got home from school he started asking if it was time for Daddy to come home.  The time could not come soon enough.

At last, Daddy was home....the digging could commence.  The comedy here being, well, not the least of which was the aforementioned wasteland of dry dirt, but the fact that we do not own even ONE semblence of a proper digging apparatus.  Never you fear, we are improvisers if nothing else, and nothing was gonna stop their quest.  So, they set to digging with a pie server and a spoon.  But you know what....it was perfect. It was adorable and Max was floating on cloud nine because HE got to spend time with his Daddy (this is a very rare thing) and they were looking for those magical, non touchable worms.

 This picture was taken before he knew I was taking pictures. Note how intently he was digging.

Look closely to see his pie server/shovel. And also, our super awesome dirt patch otherwise known as our yard.

You're probably surprised to learn that they found none.  But, that didn't dampen his spirits. He went to bed happy in the assurance that they could look again tomorrow, only this time, they'd go to Mr. Lentz's.

This kid......he just makes me laugh.


Earth worms and crocodile tears,

Allyson

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Maggies big girl room (and Mayzie)

As you may well know, or not know, my sister in law Julie has lived with us for the last 4 years or so.  So, Maggie and Max have always shared a room.  When Mayzie came along, things got a bit tighter, but we were making it work with her sharing Auntie Julies room.  But this July, it just became time to say goodbye to Julie and allow our kids to have a bit more space to grow. Though we miss Julie, we know that it was the thing that needed to happen.

So, with the room vacated, I could now let my decorating "diva" come out and make something fun and pretty for Maggie (and Mayzie) to share.  Now, I'll be honest. I had a total vision of what I was going to do in this room, over a year ago.  With time, budget and laziness a factor, I had to pair that vision down.  Then, there was an opinionated 6 year old to contend with as well.  I mean really, who said she was allowed to have a say here.  But, after I firmly nixed her desire for an all pink room with unicorns and fairies, I figured I'd better at least let her have SOME (albeit tiny) say in what her room looked like.  I tried to gently "guide" her in what she wanted.

I kept putting the project off for several weeks because I just could NOT find a paint color that I liked.  I had originally thought some form of coral, or a very muted shade of rose/pink.  When I finally found one I thought might work, I got a sample jar and promptly painted a giant square.  Maggie didn't see it until the next morning, at which time her immediate response was "Nuh uh! NO WAY!"  Phew, at least I tried for a pinkish, and she didn't like it.  Thankfully, I LOVE the blog Better After and on it I'd seen a room makeover for another 6 year old and the wall color was really pretty.  I contacted that blog owner and asked the wall color.  She graciously replied.  So, Behr Balmy Seas it was.

I woke up randomly one morning and said, THIS IS IT! I started working and could not be bothered with the realities of life until it was finished, 3 days later.   But, you guys, I couldn't be happier with the results.  I love the color, Maggie loves the color.  I got to incorporate pinks, purple and orange accents, because who knew....everything goes with aqua, as it turns out.  On this same blog, I loved how the woman had painted this adorable, whimsicle tree on the wall.  I wanted that too.  I also "thought" that she'd installed flower knobs so things could hang on said tree.  I went full throttle for those knobs, only to discover, upon closer inspection of her pictures, they weren't knobs, but silk flowers or something.  BUT I was doing the knobs.  Anyway, let me just show you in pictures the befores and afters.

For the record, I'm typing this up on Jeres computer, and it's an apple, and I've never done it on here, and I get confused wtih the picture situation, so let's all hold a good thought this turns out.

Anywho......


BEFORE:

 After Maggie moved into the room, before the redo, she felt the bed was the perfect place to display every stuffed animal that EVER was.

 I absolutely ADORE this built in area.  There is SO much storage.  But it was sort of a catchall.
Proof of my attempt at rosie/pink. And one cute baby photo bombing.
 


Lets face it, bed in the corner = hard to make, but a lot of "play" room.    





Now, as this has proven to be RIDICULOUSLY difficult and confusing, the pictures on this stupid apple computer, I shall move on to the after and hope for the best.


AFTER:

A shot from the hallway, best I can get in a small space.  No worries, we shall be covering all walls, and details.  That fabulous brown dresser I inherited out of my Grandpas house, I love it so.  I love the bed in the middle, not only for the ease of making it, but because it gives symmetry to the room.

Let's talk bedding.  I found this on Amazon, and I actually love it.  It was my one real concession to Maggie.  She gets pink, purple and flowers here.  But really, all the colors work so well.  I'll be honest...in my "perfect" world, her bedding would be a giant fluff of white and ruffles to fit with the soft and historical business that is happening on the side of her bed.  BUT, I really am happy with this.  It only cost $79.00 for the whole set, which included the two decorative pillows as well.  I should also mention that the fabulous old iron bed frame came from a friends Grandmas sale, I scored it for only $50.00 last fall.  I lurve it so.

 Just a view from the door of the "history" wall.  I just love this.  Also, I chose to give Mayzie and Maggie each their own distinctive M's.  This is Mayzies.

A view of the whole wall.  It includes Maggie and Mayzies blessing dress, my moms baby bonnet, bib, pinnafore and a doilie, all tatted or crocheted for her by her grandmothers. When my Mom gave me these "treasures" I immediately saw them framed and in some romantic little room.  This isn't totally how my vision was, but I still love it.  It makes me happy to be displaying and preserving such beautiful pieces of my families history.  I had all of these frames but 2 just laying in my garage, waiting for the day to use them.  I painted them all white. The two oval frames were awesome finds at Joanns, 60% off, and IKEA, just cheap! I'd like to add a vinyl quote along the bottom at some point that talks about family, heirlooms, history, something.

 Mayzies M is just a $5.00 cardboard 3d thing from Joanns that I painted white and glued some rickrack and flowers to.  Then I thought it'd be cool to finish her name in the corner, so I had Jere write it on there.  He has the BEST handwriting!

 
This frame was around a giant corkboard that I ripped out and put up on the wall by Maggies desk.  It's a super cheap/crappy frame, but it was the perfect size to go around the dress hanging on the flower.  I absolutely love hanging frames around 3d objects.  And this particular look makes me happy.

 I LOVE this little pinnafore, especially because it happens to be in a corally/orangeish color, which ties in so perfectly!!

  My Moms sweet bonnet.  I won't bore you with ALL the framed things, but just a taste of what is up there.  And how simple it was to do!

 For Maggies "M" I knew I wanted something fancy and grand looking.  I went to IKEA and got this frame for $29.00 and then enlisted the help of a neighbor friend to cut me this vinyl M. I applied it straight to the glass, which frankly is a bit nerve wracking, to get it just right.  It's not, it's crooked, but it's ok and I still love the way it looks.  You'll be "shocked" to know that Maggie was so upset, because Mayzie had a decorated M and hers was just boring.  FOR REALS?  I went out of my way to make hers fancy looking and yet, not what she thought was cool. Oh well, I still love it.
 Found this perfect and darling lamp at Target, to bring in the hot pink color and it was only $20.00.  The polka dotted jewelry box on the dresser was at Home Goods for $6.00.

As mentioned, I adore this built in.  It was one of my favorite features when we bought the house.  I literally ripped that cork out of an already framed cork board that Julie left behind.  I glued and nailed it into place and then just threw up a few of Maggies things.  I LOVE the little decorative bin on the first shelf, it has all the fabulous colors, coral, purple, aqua and pink.  Found that at Target for like 8 bucks.  I can now shove all of Maggies stuffed animals into the drawers and there is TONS of space in the cupboards above for anything and everything else we need to store, and or get out of the way for photo ops.  You know.

The closet wall was the perfect place to put the tiny kitchen, which still gets used regularly, and to throw in a splash of yellow with that antique mirror that I bought at a sale for a mere 10 bucks last Spring. Also, let us note the cute flying pink vinyl bird.  I got a set of 5 for $2.99 on Amazon.  They make their appearance around the room.

 As I mentioned, I saw this on another blog.  But then, when I was looking for vinyls, I saw this, but in brown, and realized that other lady must have just copied it. Which, gratefully, I have artsy friends and my friend Lies'l just came and free handed this onto the wall for me, with crappy brushes I might add.  I love the whimsy and the fact that it takes up the whole wall. I even included a knob by the desk for Maggie to hang her backpack on.

 Let us note the happy bird sitting on the tree, and the other one flying away, into the air vent. And Mayzie gets to sleep peacefully under the silly tree.  I also love that my friend that made me that quilt on Mayzies bed musta been inspired, because it's aqua and pink.  

 So, I went to Hobby Lobby and picked up 7 glass drawer pulls, and they were half price, thank goodness.  I had NO IDEA how I was going to attach them to the wall, but darnit, I was gonna do it, no matter what.  I also stopped at JoAnns and bought these teeny little canvas' and some scrapbook paper and ribbon. The canvas' were on sell for 99 cents, AWESOME!  I cut the paper to size, printed out some pictures and also picked up some scrapbook accent pieces and created these little hanging pics for the tree.
 So anyway, I went to Home Depot and actually found helpful people.  These two workers opened up many a package of screws and plastic wall thingys to find the right fit.  I ended up getting those plastic anchors that you drill a hole, tap them in and then screw the object in.  They worked PERFECTLY!

 I love how they look, and the fact that there are happy little reminders to Maggie of her family.



 Ummm, so finally here...Maggie INSISTED that she have a picture "in" the tree, because she's a crazy monkey, and was wearing monkey pajamas.  Besides, it IS her room after all.  

Hopefully you've enjoyed the little tour of the room makeover.  It's still in that new stage, so it makes me happy every time I pass it.  Next up, a re do of Maxs room to make it more boyish, and ALL his.  I feel maps in my future, because he wants sports, and well, that's just too cliche.

Little girlies and pretty spaces,

Allyson
 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A Looky loo at the LOO!

Oh friends. OHHHHH friends.  It is FINALLY done! And, I could not be happier with the outcome.

What in the world is the crazy lady even referencing?  Well, I'll tell you.

Two years ago when we moved into this roachcoach House, I painted the living room, two bedrooms and did a number of other projects and at the time said, hell to the NO on painting either of the bathrooms.  It was HOT, I was tired and bathrooms gross me out. Even brand newly done, empty house bathrooms are still creepy to me.  Sooo, the bathroom was left alone.  To say it was bland would be an understatement.  Oh, and also, it's wee teeny, itty bitty!  Like, 2 people can barely fit in it tiny.  But, it serves its purpose for private potty time and quick showers.  

Anywho....I decided that this summer was THE TIME to get some projects done.  That darn bathroom being one of them.  Once workshop was over in June, my super procrastination kicked into high gear.  Everyday I'd say....OK, I'm gonna do this.  And then I'd find 20 other things to do. But yesterday I woke up and said, DAMMIT, today IS the DAY!

I spent from literal morning until 1 a.m. scrubbing down, prepping and painting the walls and vanity. I wont lie, it was a bitch. BUT, the end result is worth it.

Even better, this project cost me all of about $7.00 for a can of spray paint.  All the rest of the paint I had on hand from previous projects.  YESSSS!!!

Don't look too closely or you'll see the shoddy workmanship on my painting.  But hey, when you're sweating into oblivion and working alone and semi delirious, you just be happy that anything is done at all.

In a perfect world I'd knock out the shower wall and get an entirely glass surround, which would enlarge it slightly and just make everything feel bigger.  Also, I WILL be ripping out that hideously awful white tile and just sealing the concrete until I can afford flooring I like.  MAN I hate tile, no words for it. ESPECIALLY white ceramic tile.

BTW, my "h" key is broken and it's suuuuuuuuuuuuper annoying.  Carry on then.

BEFORE:



  Can we say brown and BORING!!!!!

AFTER:




I painted the walls the same color of grey that is in our bedroom, I rather love it. Then I painted the vanity swiss coffe, and spray painted the knobs in hammered metal.  I WISH I had white blinds, but no such luck. As for the playbills...I promised Jere that if I ever painted the bathroom I'd hang more of our playbills.  We have a huge collection of them, that used to hang in our office when we were first married and had such a thing as an office.  Anyway, I love how they look there.  And please, tell me you see my clever humor in those I chose.  Well, I got a giggle out of it anyway.

So there ya go.  A bathroom before and after.  Now, on to remaking Maggies room. Heaven help me, that is a huge job staring me in the face.  BUT, Auntie Julie has moved out and Maggie has moved into her own room, well, with Mayzie, but it's gonna be beautiful when I'm done with it.  Anyone wanna come paint?

Loos and lookies,

Allyson
 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Just Say It!

A couple of months ago I walked into church and deposited my kids on the bench.  I then headed to the hall to pick up a tithing envelope.  As I was exiting the chapel, one of the darling greeters stopped me, shook my hand and said "You DO realize that you light up a room, don't you?"

Why NO, no I do NOT realize that.  But THANK YOU for saying something so nice.

It just struck me so deeply that she said that.  Mostly because, I was NOT feeling like I was lighting up anything.  I was overwhelmed, stressed, sad, swirling around the drain in the crap storm of my life.

Those kind words made my day.  They made me stand a little taller, attempt a smile not only on my face, but on the inside.  And it really made me think.

You know, none of us EVER really knows what is going on in peoples lives.  We don't know the inner workings of peoples minds.  We don't know the pain, the sorrow, the joy, the anguish, the whatever they may be experiencing.  And sometimes, all it takes is just one little kind word, one compliment and it can turn that persons day, week around.

I appreciate that she took the time to say something. I appreciate that she was brave enough to say something.  I  know that many times I will think someone looks particularly nice, or pretty that day, but I usually don't go out of my way to tell them.  Because I get shy (I know, but it's TRUE), or embarrassed, or distracted.

But, I'd like to issue a little challenge to myself and to anyone that might still read this.  Let us all try to take a moment and actually open our mouths and express a compliment to someone if the thought crosses our mind.  JUST SAY IT!

You never know what good you may be doing for that persons soul that day.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Pickle Tree

It began all so innocently.  One afternoon, about 2 or 3 months ago, Max asked if he could have a pickle.  I was only to happy to oblige.  As he sat and ate his pickle, I heard him excitedly yell..."I found a pickle seed."  And then, reverantly under his breath he exclaimed..."Now I'm going to plant a pickle tree."

It was, quite frankly....adorable.  I had a good chuckle. I took a picture and left it at that.

So, imagine my surprise, when a few weeks later, he was eating yet another pickle spear, and this time, there was apparently a bumper crop of seeds.  The motherload, if you will.

Again, he yelped with excitement.  "Mommy, look how many pickle seeds I have."  "I have 12 seeds."  "Now I REALLY can plant a pickle tree."  I smiled and nodded, as all good Moms do, right?  "knowing" that he would for sure drop this idea as soon as a speck of dust floated past his eyes and he became distracted.

But nooooo. 'Twas not to be.

He finished his bagel and then promptly informed me he was ready to plant his tree.  Let's get this tree planting done.  Where should we do it.

As I'm usually a crusher of all dreams, I decided that today, TODAY I would play the sweet, builder of dreams and let him plant his revered tree.

The great pickle seed haul.

We carefully carried the paper towell and it's precious content out to the front planter.

I improvised, I found him a spoon worthy of the digging.


He happily dug until he had a hole "deep" enough to plant some seeds in. (I have no idea why the pictures are looking squashed)

Then it was time:



Max carefully, and quite lovingly I might add, flicked those sticky seeds into their allotted space in our dry and barren planter box.

Next came the magical moment....the moment we covered it over and prepared to water.



We marked the spot where the seeds were with some dry petals from my flowers.  He carefully watered that area.  And as SOON as he finished watering, he said: "Ok Mom, can we watch it grow?"  "How long will this take?"  I told him it could take a VERY long time to grow.  He asked how long? I told him LONG.  Then he asked if we could just maybe sit out there and wait for it.  After some clever and convincing wording, I got him to go inside, realizing that it would be far to long to wait for it to grow.  But "surely something would sprout in time."  That seemed to appease him, and he was so excited and couldn't wait to tell Maggie that HE got to plant a pickle tree.

It was a total win win.  He felt like he'd accomplished all he ever hoped for, and I totally won the prize for good Mommy award.

I sure do love that kid and his bright mind, eager desires and great imagination.

Now, since I let so much time pass before posting about this, I can tell you the follow up.

About a week ago, he suddenly remembered that "hey, he planted a pickle tree."  You know what he said to me?  "You said my pickle tree would grow.  Well, it didn't, and pickles don't grow on trees, so you're a liar."  NOT EVEN KIDDING!  Totally got called a liar by my 4 year old.  All because I was trying to let his happy little heart plant his freaking pickle tree.  HMPH!  See if I ever do THAT again.  

Guess it's back to dream squasher for me.

Sour pickles and sweet boys,

Allyson




 

Friday, April 12, 2013

When you look up the picture for wicked....

After another "successful" evening of sucking at parenting, I decided that I should take to "the googles" and look up wicked stepmother.

Of course there was this picture:

I actually look like this A LOT!

Or this famous picture:

 
Another fairly dead on depiction of my face.

And then, shockingly, there was THIS:

You guys, this is how I feel like my face looks 90% of the freaking time.  It's exhausting, and frankly, doing nothing for my wrinkle lines.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but why is it that I have zero tolerance or patience for the things my kids do.  No really, like ZERO!

We are currently on this "new" (and by new I mean, revisited, we've been off it for many months, but here we are again) thing of Max being terrified of the dark, and of doing anything alone, AT ALL!  I mean, for heavens sake, last night he wouldn't even go out to the kitchen to fill his sippy by himself because he was scared.  Tonight, he wouldn't go find his sippy, he just cried and wailed and lamented that he was TOOOO SCARED!  Every night we find him on Maggies bed with her, even though we've threatened certain death if he continues.  And every day it's the same story, "I was too scared on my bed."

So, after I told them both to knock it off and get over it, cause there is NOTHING to be afraid of, and then went to my room....I felt bad. WHAT is wrong with me? Shouldn't I be comforting and consoling them? Shouldn't I be laying there rubbing their little backs until they feel better?  Instead, I'm just irritated that they're being dramatic.  While Max was sobbing about his fears, I hear Maggie say "Max, i need to get some freaking sleep, BE QUIET!"  Then, I felt bad enough about my suckitude that I went in and asked Max what he was so afraid of.  Between his gasping sobs he said, "the dark."  I convinced him to get up and come in my room to talk to me.  But not before Maggie insists that I leave the door open, because she's afraid.  I take him to my bed and try very calmly to ask him WHAT about the dark scares him.  He told me it's all the shadows, and that he's afraid the stickers on their closet door (large paper doll stickers of Maggies) would come alive.  Now,suddenly,  Maggie is bawling and carrying on from the other room, yelling she's so scared.  I'm trying to calmly talk to Max, reason with him, assure him, get him to talk to me, etc.  In comes Maggie with fake crying.  She's just too afraid to be alone, she tells me.  Wait a second here....was she just not miss smarty/rude pants to Max about HIS crying? So, anyway,  we talk about how there is always prayer, and that they are safe, etc.  After a prayer, while I was holding both of them, they calmed down and I was able to finally put them to bed.  THANK GOODNESS! But for reals.......am I the only craptastic "Wicked" mother out there that gets irritated by all this?

Where is all my tender love and compassion?

I think I lost it somewhere.

Or, how about yesterday when I had just finished with lessons, and there was a knock at the door.  There stood Maggie, Max and our neighbor Jessie.  Max stuck his head in the door and with a huge, proud smile stated, "Maggie and me peed our pants."

Uh, Iiiiiii'm sorry, you WHAT?

Yeah, apparently it was just to hard to get to a toilet and so, poof, they PEED THEIR FREAKING PANTS on their way home.  And by Max's very proud announcement, I knew accident was NOT a true term to use here.

I was lit.  I sent Jessie home, I pulled the kids inside and sent them immediately to the shower.  Aint no child o' mine gonna go around making golden showers in their pants "just because."

I told Maggie this was completely unacceptable.  She KNOWS how to use a  bathroom,a nd WHEN to use a bathroom.  She swore that she just couldn't make it in time.  But, that the real story with Max was, once he saw that she wet her pants, she said "ok, I can do that."  "And then he tried really hard, until he did Mom.  You HAVE to believe me on this."

So, let me get this straight, my 5, nearly 6 year old daughter was just to lazy to use the neighbors bathroom, whilst my 4 year old son just thought it'd be good times to piss in his pants.  AWESOME!

Needless to say, I wore my "wicked" badge once again. Forcing them to wash their own selves in the bath and shower and then sending them to bed early.

A short list (if you will) of my wicked mothering ways:
1. I make them wash themselves in their baths
2. I make Maggie wash her hair....ever
3. I FORCE them to brush their teeth.
4. I won't let them eat candy for breakfast
5. I buy Maggie new clothes that aren't to her liking.
6. I dare to ask them to pick up their room
7. I tell them NO, A LOT!
8. They've never been to Disneyland
9. I won't buy them something EVERY time we're at the store.
10. I am terrible about "Playing" with them
11. I yell at them

Oh, I'm sure the list could go on and on. They like to tell me on a daily basis how mean I am, and that I'm so rude.  

Good thing there is picture proof on the googles of that....Otherwise, people might believe ME when I say THEY'RE the rude ones.

Frustrations and feeling bad,

Allyson 

P.S. Word to the wise.  I may have written this whilst half asleep, and then fallen asleep and then published.  Forgive it's shortcomings.