Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Other Side....

If you came here to laugh, be fair warned....this is not a post for that.  Serious subject matter involved.

For a very long time now I've been mulling over this blog post.  I've pondered on what it is I want/have to say, how to say it, and its pertinance (if it had any). And maybe I just want to know if I'm the only one, or if anyone out there understands me.   I've cried, I've struggled, I've been angry, I've been at peace.  And yet, it hasn't written itself.  So wierd.  Mostly, I'm terrified to expose a side of life that is difficult and painful.  People expect to laugh when they come here.  They don't expect to be told the dark side.  So, I hope that you'll take this information and treat it carefully.  Filter what I'm saying, try to understand and not judge.

You see, there are A LOT of bloggers around this blogosphere who write about their struggles with depression.  There are entire blogs devoted to that.  Other blogs where the blogger "comes out" about suffering from it and the ups and downs it creates in their life.  And I read quite a few of them.  I'm intrigued to read their stories, understand their struggles, etc.  I don't doubt or discount for ONE moment the difficulties that depression brings to these peoples lives.  But what isn't being written, or that I haven't read anywhere is the story of...."the other side."  The side of the spouse who LIVES with those suffering depression.  While suffering from depression is horrible, and I can't claim to fully understand that pain, living with someone who suffers from it is no walk in the park.

I asked Jer if he cared if I wrote about this topic.  In his typical fashion, he said "I don't care what you do."  Which frankly is just what much of my interaction is with him.

It's ironic that many of the worlds "funniest" people, or the most famous entertainers suffer from depression issues.  My husband is one of those.

For those that just "know" him from his acting, or from work, or school, or just on a surface level....he is the funniest, funnest, coolest,  most upbeat, happy guy they know.  He's like the freaking pied piper.  People FLOCK to him.  He has a million "friends."  He is loved.  And I am asked CONSTANTLY if we just have SO MUCH FUN at home.  "I must laugh allll the time."  How could life with him be anything but hilarity and fun?


I, unfortunately, or fortunately am his safe haven.  I am the one person he feels like he can be 100% himself with.  Therefore, I get to endure the real him.  The one that doesn't have to put on a happy/brave face.  The one that struggles to get out of bed in the morning.  The guy who is full of self-loathing and frustration.  Trust me when I say, hilarity and fun are NOT the words I'd use for life around here.

Jere was diagnosed with an extreme anxiety disorder and depression many years ago.  I'm sure he's suffered some form of it his entire life.  But, when he was finally diagnosed, it was a relief.  He was put on medication and it truly was helpful.  As long as he stayed on the medication, things were at least ok.  But, there have been SEVERAL times over the years that he ran out and we couldn't afford anymore, or he just quit taking it because "we were gonna run out eventually, so why bother taking it."  And those times are just awful.  HORRIBLE!  And now, I fear we have hit a point where the medicine and the dosage he's on isn't really working anymore.  This = nightmare.

When a person you love suffers from depression, YOU feel so completely helpless.  You want to make things better, you want to make the issues/pain go away.  And you just think that somehow, if you talk to them enough, encourage them enough, pep talk them enough that things will work out. 

It is extremely difficult to remember sometimes that it is their illness/mental state that is talking, not what they really mean.  Even after all these years, I still take his rude comments or attacks personally, when in his heart, that isn't what he means.

Living on "this side" means walking on egg shells all the time.  It means being afraid to "upset" them, because they're thought process is so irrational, they'll go off the deep end.  It means fearing confrontation, or fearing forcing them to do what you know they should.  It means constantly trying to gingerly encourage them to follow through on their work, their homework, their committments.  Reminding them daily that they CAN do it, they MUST do it, they ARE good enough, they ARE loved, they AREN'T worthless, they AREN'T screw ups.  Encouraging them to get out of bed, forcing them to stop dawdling and get to work or school.  It means taking on the brunt of most all life responsabilities, because they just can't deal with them.  It means listening to them complain about all of lifes unfairness, and how this person, or this boss was so wrong, and they're mistreated.  It's working to constantly filter what is REALLY meant by what they say.  It is justifying their behaviour to others.  It is exhausting, and draining and painful.  It is many, many tears shed.  It is wondering if this will or can ever be better.  It is fighting to maintain your own sanity, so you don't fall into a despair of your own.  It is HARD!

This is not to say that it's always awful, that there aren't good times, because there are.  It's just that trying to walk the line and hold it together is sometimes more than I feel capable of doing.

I'm just hoping that the light can soon shine here on "the other side."

Monday, March 28, 2011

Trash to Treasure Kitchen edition

About 8 years ago I bought a kitchen table.  I think I spent a whole $125.00 on the table and 4 chairs.  And in my mind, this table, so not my color choice or style would "do" because it was cheap.  And besides, I was totally gonna paint it.

EIGHT YEARS LATER..............I did just that.  I'm telling you, I'm a painting whore (not to be mistaken with a painted whore, BIG difference) and nothing is safe.

Furthermore, I must give credit where credit is due.  This table paint job totally happened due to Jere and his love for the red chair I did and his desire to have everything painted red in the kitchen.  Thanks babe for the nudge in the right direction.

Nothing ever happens is Blaine.....BOR-ING, BOR-ING, BOR-ING!
Vanilla at its best.  No?

So here's what I did.  I began by chipping away all the crusted on nasty that 2 and 3 year olds leave behind on tables and chairs.  I sprayed it down with TSP and cleaned it.  Then, I spray primed it gray.  Oh you read right.  Not even a pretend sanding.

Oh spray primer, how I love thee!

And then, I SPRAY PAINTED the whole blasted thing in Rustoleum Colonial Red.  It took me like a nanosecond.  Ok fine....10 minutes, which in painting furniture time is a NANOSECOND!  After it dried, and I looked at it awhile, I took my wee sanding block to it and distressed it.  See, I had to paint it in Gloss, because that is the hardest finish and I wanted it to be durable, and me no likey gloss.  So, after a little gentle sanding and some distressing and then some glazing, I got this.....

And the chairs?  Easy squeezy.  A quick spray of Rustoleum Strawflower yellow and a quick distress and glaze and we were good to go.  Oh wait, I haven't bothered to distress the other two chairs, but whatever.  I'll get there eventually.


This is what I like to call Plain Jane!

I just love the happy little yellow chair now.

And trust me, distressing/aging it a bit made a HUGE difference!

What's that you say?  You want to see just one more picture?  Ok fine, if you insist.

The kids beat the crap out of this table EVERY day, and I wipe it and scrub it down everyday.  It is holding up like a champ.  For about $20.00 in spraypaint, I have a brand new table and chairs, I really could not be happier with the outcome.

Is it a like, or a love?  What say ye?

Paintedly yours,


How was YOUR morning? I'll admit it.  I like my kids to go the heck outside and play once in awhile.  This isn't a crime.  For crying out loud, it's all KINDS of beautiful around here right now.  Unfortunately, my kids think I need to be present and watching their every move IF they go outside.  Doesn't this somehow nullify the beauty of THEM going out to play?  ANYWAY.......

So, it was early, the kids had been playing in the family room while I checked e-mail.  Then, they were outside.  I love the sound of kids playing and laughing, i really do.  The doors were open, I could hear them out there having a grand ol' time.  I went and checked, they were over at our neighbors driveway and another neighbor was out front with them.   Good times.

A few minutes later they came in with something that made my blood run cold.

There was marker all over their hands, and in their hands.  And one made some offhanded remark about writing with them.

"WHERE did you write with these markers?"

"Over there...(as they pointed to our neighbors)(hey there Saiije, what's up?)


"On the house?"

"You WHAT?"  "Why would you do that?"

"Because we wanted to." (That answer makes me insane!)

So, I marched over to see the damage.  It looked a little like this:

We begin with this delightful line of purple.  It's a bit like Harold and his purple MARKER showed up.  But you must give them props for their ability to color in that grout line to perfection.

Who doesn't love a little modern art by the front door?

Happy hearts and birdies.

Apparently the door needed a shot of color.

Not even the WINDOW was safe.

Or my filthy car.  Nope, NOT safe at all.

After a sound butt whoopin and sending Maggie to her room, Brooklyn to the couch, I figured out my next move.  First things first....gotta clean it all up.

Brooklyn lied to me, which made it a worse offense. So, SHE got to scrub all the marker off the house.  She and I went out there together and wiped away the evidence.

When Kat walked by and asked what we were doing, I had to inform her of the girls infraction.  She thought I was just being an extra nice neighbor scrubbing down their house.  Nope, just trying to erase the "evidence".

THANK HEAVENS they were crayola markers and not a sharpie.  Oh, THANK YOU for that.  It all washed off pretty easily and quickly.  And the house looks none the worse for the wear.  In can thank me later for that extra clean spot on your window sill Saiije.

Coloring catastrphes,


Saturday, March 26, 2011

I wanna Remember....

I think I may have said it a time or maybe two, but Max just makes me FILLED with love and happy.  He cracks me up and he's so dang sweet.  I just needed to write down a few things before they get forgotten.

Now THAT'S a filthy face only a Mother could love.
A combination of cocoa krispies, dirt, snot and sweat.
He is SUCH a boy.

Here are some of my favorite things he does right now:

**He LOVES to talk about what we've done.  As in...
"Mommy benember (remember) we went to Peeper Piper and played?"
"Benember we went to the party?"
He's sorta like Chris Farley in that SNL skit "you remember that one time when we ate cheese.  Yeah, that was awesome."
So, the other morning, we were sleeping on Julies bed (long story) and he literally opened his big blue eyes, rolled over and the first thing out of his mouth was...
"benember last night we went to gramma Dars?"
"Yes, I remember"
"And benember I put suckers in my hair?"
"Yep, I remember that too."
"That was funny."
"Nope, not so funny.  But you ARE cute."

Then I may have smothered him in kisses for his cuteness.

**He also loves to make sure that we all know we are loved.  Very randomly, and very often.  And it isn't limited to just those of us in the house.  Friends of mine may come over, and he will very openly say...."Hey Kalli.....I LOVE YOU."  "Melissa, I love you."  And he expects a response too.

**He has started to become a little opinionated on what he wears or not.  Everytime I pull a shirt out and start to put it on he says "does it have buttons?" And if I say no, then all is well.  If I say yes, there is a battle.  Apparently, he doesn't love the polo, or buttons.  But he DOES love all things Mickey Mouse and only wants to wear Mickey Mouse shirts everyday.  Thankfully, his cousin Jayce has passed down at least 4 shirts with Mickey mouse on them.  Phew!

**His obsession level over Justin Bieber is a little ridiculous.  It may be bordering on EPIC.  And he has zeroed in on ONLY Baby Baby.  He doesn't have a lot of patience for all the OTHER songs.  He will go in his room and push play on the cd player over and over and over and over to re-listen to the song.  He knows the words and sings along as well.  And he regularly tells me that he loves Justin Bieber and he benembers seeing the Justin Bieber movie as well.

**He will randomly start using this wierd, low growly voice, which he thinks is hysterical.  You can ask him something, and suddenly he's answering ala "redrum" from the Shining.  He will laugh and laugh when I ask him to stop and talk normal.

**His favorite way of responding to us these days is:
"Hey Max will you go get me this."
"Ok poopy Mommy girl."

"Max come and see me."
"Ok poopy Julie head."

**The Poopy word is just the ace in his bag of tricks.  Whenever he gets to see our little friend Navi (who he has a hot crush on and asks about alll the time) he busts out the poopy and she just laughs and laughs and laughs at him. 

**His love for Super Why knows no end.  It is the first thing he asks for EVERY day.  Never mnd that we only have five episodes taped.  He watches those same 5 incessently.  Pretty sure we have them memorized.  Thankfully, Little Einsteins runs a close second.

He will come in and ask...."Can I watch TV?  Just for a little minute."  Or when we're driving, he likes to say..."Mommy, don't go just for a minute, hold on just a little minute."

**Max can count to 10 all by himself, and likes to count things all the time.  He also knows the alphabet and loves to sing it, however off key it may be.

**He shocked me a month or so ago when he just started singing along, word for word all the songs we normally sing.  He'd never bothered to try singing with us.  But, there he was, reciting every word to Angels We Have Heard on High, and Temple and Maggies song, and several others.  His preference is to sing I Am A Child of God in snippets, at the TOP of his lungs wherever we are.  I'm fairly sure the people of Costco know when MAX is there. haha

**He still happily plays dress up with the girls, and today played happily with the Barbie while they had dolls.  But he also LOVES his chugga chugga choo choos.  That is what he calls trains.  Any train.

"Look Mommy, it's a chugga chugga."
"I wanna play with my chugga chuggas."

Don't know why he chose that, but it's sure cute.

**He's started to say prayers and it's really more than I can take.  The other night he was saying the dinner prayer and all was going along smoothly.  He was repeating what I said.  Then, I said sometihng, waited for his repeat.  No sound.  i said it again.  Again, no sound.  Finally, I opened my eyes and he was happily eating his salad.  Apparently my prayer was taking to long and he needed to get on that dinner.  Sometimes it takes ALL I have not to just bust out laughing.

**He LOVES, like LU-UHVES baths.  He asks everyday if he can take a bath, or if it's bathtime.  If I ever say, yes, or tell him, hurry up and then you can take a bath, he lets out this super high pitched "Wooo HOOOO."  And then feels it necessary to yell so pretty much the neighborhood knows, he gets to take a bath.

**He wants to play outside, and at the park always.  Anytime we pass a school playground, he asks if we can play at that park.  And he asks so sweetly, it breaks my heart to say no.
"Mommy, can we pway at the park?  Mommy, pwease?  Mommy, can we pwease, pwease, pwease pway at the park today?"  Seriously, kills me when I have to say no and he gets so sad.

**He has a ridiculous memory and can pull stuff out that even I don't remember.  The other day as we passed Carson pool, he pointed out there was a lot of water.  And there was a slide, and he could go down the slide.  When could we go swimming.  THEN, he says  "Morgan had a broken leg."  "benember Morgan broke her leg?"  I responded yes i remembered that.  He said "benember, she went down the slide and broke her leg."

UMMMMM, that happened in AUGUST, before he was even 2 years old.  And he's just pulling that out of thin air.  WOW!

He's awesome.

Anyway.......I just wanted to make sure to always "benember" this sweet time of his life.  And what a good little boy he is.  He is my bubbers forever and always.

You're the BEST my little Maximus.  Never forget that.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Will the REAL Allyson please stand up.....

Here's the deal.  I'm beginning to wonder who the heck I am these days.  Like really, where is the real me, and can she please come back.

Not only have I come to a grinding stand still on any productivity, but far worse than taht......I've done something I didn't think EVER, EVER possible.  Something that I have always deemed too gross to even try.


I am a very cleanly person.  As in, I MUST shower EVERY day or DIE!  No really, die.  I can not shower at night and call it good.  Even if I did shower at night, I'd still have to shower in the morning to feel clean.  I washed my hair EVERY.SINGLE.DAY my whole adult life.  I can't speak for my childhood, as I was tragically hairless until I was nearly 3 and then, well, kids are gross and there is no accounting for what bathtime situations were happening with 7 kids in the house (though I can say this with authority, going barefoot has ALWAYS grossed me out, me no likey being dirty).  And I recall a time or two in adolescence where I may have skipped a day.  BUT, by and large.....wash hair every day kind of gal.

As I've aged, and lost buttloads of hair, I have relaxed and turned it into an every other day kind of thing.  Washing hair that is, NOT showering.  Except when i'm working out, then of course we're back to the every day drudgery of washing and doing my hair.

ANYWAY....point here is.  I like clean, feel clean, smell clean, BE CLEAN!

Well, just last week, I fell asleep on the couch late at night.  Jere got up and asked if I was coming.  But c'mon.....I'm SOOOOO comfortable, and ASLEEP.  So, i ended up sleeping on the couch (which may or may not happen a lot) until 6:30 in the morning.  Fully clothed, bra, hat, makeup, everything.  When I got up and finished dealing with kids, etc.  it was pretty much time to take Maggie to school.  So, I took Maggie to school in yesterdays clothes, AND makeup.  And then...I ran errands. 

Fresh as a dirty shirt.  Here I am in all my "yesterday" glory.  And yes, yes I did take a picture, because I'm retarded and I think.  I'm gonna blog about this.  Don't judge.

Anyway, I did come home later and completely shower and do my hair, but point is.  WHO AM I?  I don't do that.   My besty Angie, she totally does that.  I'm sure alot of you do.  Just not me.

Moving on.

I have been very grateful for the rise in hat popularity, and the fact that after 36 years of life, I got over myself and my insecurities enough to wear one.  It's  a real lifesaver, and many times, on "unwash hair" day I throw on a hat.

Well, I've worn the hat at least 3 times in the last week.  Which correlates directly with me not getting into the shower until nearly 3:00 each day.  Again, WHO AM I?  Can the real me please come back. 

Yesterday.  And I was feeling SO saucy that I didn't even put eyeshadow on.  Oh the hutzpa!  And guess what, my students survived.  WAIT, a few weeks ago, I didn't even put ANY makeup on.  That was a shocker day.
Have I made it abundantly clear yet, I'm sort of a freak for never going without makeup or hair?  Yeah.

Which brings me to marks the THIRD day IN.A.ROW that I haven't washed my hair.  Which frankly, I'm sure in the HISTORY of my 38 years has NEVER happened.  Well, minus the tragic non hair years.  But even then, I'm sure my good Mother scrubbed my bald noggin. 

I know, I know. I'm horrified myself. You probably need to unfriend me, or hide in fear. I get it. I disgust me too.

Hey look, at least it's a BROWN hat today.
This just shows me, I'm woefully in need of some cooler, more fun, blingier hats.

Oh, and also.....that I need to get a grip.

Has anyone seen the real me?  I seem to have misplaced her somewhere.

Dirty and lost,


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

100% And Lovin IT!

Ta Da!  My bedroom.  Where the Magic Happens.  Love Palace.  Whatever!  Here she is in all her splendor.

Let us just have a brief reminder.


A 360 degree view (as best i could with my crappy camera)

Wreath, lamps and curtain in place.
The curtain isn't totally what I want yet, but it works for now.

Love the addition of the small bluey flower with the old key hanging from it.  Nice pop of color.

I painted the closet knobs the same black metallic color..
That lantern on the dresser I bought at Big Lots 9 years ago.  LOVE when old things work out.

Jeres corner of the world. Prob cleaner than its ever been.

Le sigh.  My dresser makes me happy now.
My friend Chris (designer of the wall there) came into town.  When I gave him the reveal, he gasped.  Then he said  I have ALWAYS hated your dresser and your mirror.  I wanted to buy you a new one.  But now, NOW I love it.
Thanks Chris.

So, my buddy Allison over at Random Pockets of Chaos (sorry, to lazy to link) made a comment about seeing it HGTV style.  I laughed at her.  Then I thought, I COULD video it.  That had never occurred to me before.  So, here is my crappy 1 minute attempt of doing a 360 of my bedroom.
All for you girl, ALL for you!

Now....I swear this is the last time I will bother/bore you with pictures of my bedroom.  It's done.  It's over.  I get it!

Thanks for humoring me along the way.

Bedrooms and boudouires (seriously don't know how to spell that word),


P.S. Just finished doing my taxes.  Not as good as last year, but still pretty darn good.  Sigh of relief.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Trash to Treasure Tuesday Super Post

Alrighty you're getting a "three-fer".  Can you stand it?  THREE projects in one day.  Don't get used to it.  It's just that I have ulterior motives.  I'm showing you these three (small projects) because they lead up to a FINAL reveal of my bedroom completely 100% finished.  Yeah, I know.  Try not to pee your pants with the anticipation.
(as always, click on the pics to see them larger)

First I give you my dresser mirror.  After having nothing there for weeks, and not having any luck finding anything at the thrift stores, and just not sure what to do;  I finally gave in and just took my old mirror apart and painted it and then leaned it on the dresser.  I sorta lurve it a lot.

Three fold, attached to the dresser, sorta heavy and klunky.  Oh, and perhaps a bit cluttered.  Whatevs.


Oh hello!
Lovity love love!

Just a closeup shot of some of the glazing detail.

Alright, moving on.  As you know, Jere was all up in arms about not having a lamp of his own.  So, imagine my delight when I meandered into Goodwill one morning on a super whim and found him a lamp.  It was sitting by itself up front with no price on it.  After looking around the store and finding nothing, I gravitated back to that lamp.  There was no price on it.  I asked the guy if he just wanted to give it to me for $1.00 since it WAS dollar day.  He said he couldn't do that, but that generally he prices lamps like that for 4.99.  NOT true.  Every lamp in that place is at least 9.99.  BUT, i was not gonna fight him on it.  So, for $4.99 I got the lamp, shade AND lightbulb.  AWESOME!


So clearly green wasn't gonna work.  But the shade was even a greyish/purpley color.  I busted out my sample of my wall paint and started painting.  And it looked fine, but then there was more I needed to do to it.  I thought crystals, but no.  I bought trim, but no.  Finally, I just recovered the lampshade.  And let me just say, I had NO idea what I was doing.  I made it up as I went.  And stayed up until 2 a.m. doing it.  In the end, it looks pretty good (IF you don't look too closely).


A fun little touch in the man corner.  All for about Seven bucks and a crapload of patience on my part.  P.S.  I did that frame too.  It used to be green.

Finally.  Remember my boredom post a couple back? Stuck in a room for 2 hours with nothing to do? Remember how  I wandered over to the Goodwill and it was a bust. wasn't a complete bust.  There were two berry wreaths hanging forlornly on the corner of a rack.  They were really ugly, but they caught my eye.  For $3.99 I picked up two of them not sure what I was gonna do, but something was percolating in my head.


I suppose if you're into Fall themes, this was fine.  But, not so much for me.

Soooo, I took a little spray paint to it.  And some craft paint and a little ribbon.

There she is, all white and nerdy.  I mean PURDY!

Why yes, I DID let my 3 year old help paint.  She was in HEAVEN and thought she was So, SO important for getting to help me.  I used metallic silver craft paint and then a FEW little bops of the green/blue color from my nightstand and mirror (that is what Maggie painted).

And what we got here is.....



Won't lie.  It makes my heart happy.  I got a piece for my wall for a grand total of $5.00.  Five bucks people.  Ok fine, maybe closer to SIX.  And with that, my room is COMPLETE!

But, since this is too long as it is.  I shall save the final pics for tomorrow.  Look for them.  Listen....the five people that ever actually visit me in person don't care about my room anymore.  I need to show SOMEONE.  So, just humor me.  Mmmk?  MmmmmK!

Plus, I'm SUPER excited to show you my kitchen table re-do next week.

Crafts my Crack addiction,


The fever rages on.....

This JUST happened.

Maggie and Brooklyn 3 and freshly 5 respectively just had THIS conversation.

They're watching Bubble Guppies, which apparently had a little guppie boy band on.

Maggie:  I really, really, wish I could MEET Justin Bieber.  'Cause he's the BEST!

Brooklyn:  I wish I could KISS Justin Bieber (Whaaa?)

Maggie:  I wish I could MARRY Justin Bieber.

Brooklyn:  (with all the authority she could muster)  No, no, no now that's too much.  He's way to old for you.
(Brooklyn is soooo pleased with her freshly minted 5 yr. old status that she tells us CONSTANTLY she's 5, she's taller than them AND she's not gonna be here next year, 'cause she'll be in kindegarten.  Apparently this 5 yr. old things makes her even MORE smarter and better and cooler than she already was over them)


Man I love those girls.

I mean 5 yr. olds even really KNOW what "kissing" a boy means?  And if so.  WHY?

I guess it's all Bieber Fever up in here forever YO!  Especially since our friend Gavin gifted Maggie a Bieber poster that sits squarely on her cloest door.  Gag!  My 3 year old has a boy poster in her room. Which I'm fairly sure she swoons at nightly.

Never say Never INDEED!

Bieber lovin Mom,


Friday, March 18, 2011

Know the "NO"!

This one:

She's gonna be the end of me, I just know it.

The other morning we were standing in the kitchen, me working on breakfast or some such and Maggie working on getting her hand JUST right with something.  I glanced down at her, just as she looked up at me and proudly showed me her hand.  And when I say proud, I mean, she had a naughty gleam in her eye and she proudly said, "Look what I'm doing."

It looked a little something like this:

Thank you Google Images for any picture you EVER wanted.

As I stared down "the bird" and looked at my daughters haughty little face, I assessed the situation and pondered my plan of attack.  In probably one of my calmest moments ever, I asked her why she might be doing that.

Maggie:  Because
Me:  because why?
Maggie:  I WANT to.
Me:  WHY do you want to?  Do you know what it means?
Maggie:  YES I do!
Me:  What does it mean when you put you finger like that?
Maggie:  It means........................................NO! (as she thrust extended middle finger at me)(and also, I wish you could see her thinking face, cause it's really cute)
Me:  Oh really? (and all this time I thought it meant something FAR more sinister)  Hmmmm.  Where did you learn that?
Maggie:  (a moment of thought)  Miss Ranelle (who for the record is the SWEETEST most amazing preschool teacher EVER and probably has never even THOUGHT of flipping someone off).
Me:  Ummm no, I'm pretty positive you did NOT learn that from Miss Ranelle.
Maggie:  Mmm hmmmm, yes I did!  Miss Ranelle taught me!
Me:  No she didn't.
Maggie:  Yes, ah ha, it means NO! (as she thrust it in my face YET again)

And then I took the opportunity to teach Maggie the Birds and the be.....ok just kidding.  But I did explain to her that it did indeed NOT mean no, but something much worse.  I said that it was actually very rude, and offensive and that it meant something disgusting.  And that perhaps she should NEVER flash that finger in that way again (until a proper age and a proper situation presents itself of course) most especially at her Mother because she doesn't want to do something.  I just wont abide by one finger salutes.

She gave it  a little thought, shrugged her shoulders, after asking what offensive meant and then went on her merry way.  So far, no bird sightings have been had.

Just thought you'd like to

(Oh my sides.  I slay me)

Flips and slips,


Thursday, March 17, 2011

What is BOREDOM?!

Suppose it's Spring Break and you have NO students to teach, no extra kid to watch and NOTHING to do.  Just suppose it.  Well, I didn't get out of my pajamas on Mon. or Tues. until 3:00 or later.  In my defense I DID clean out the kids closet and drawers......AGAIN.  Got the kitchen cleaned, dusted my bedroom (sidenote: WHAT THE HELL.  So much dust), did laundry, cleaned my bathroom.  You know, a couple of things.  Nothing to excuse my tardy showering and dressing.  Today I determined was a pre-3:00 day.  Good thing my cousin Wendy texted about gathering at Peeper Piper (Peter Piper for you non Max speakers) for her sons birthday.  I scooted the kids out the door just after Noon and they had the time of their lives running and playing.  Got home just in time to toss them in bed for a nap, pick up the house (it NEVER ends), welcome the babysitter and head out the door.

What Allyson?  A babysitter?  Whatever for?

You see, while Jere is galivanting in L.A. and at the beach, I went off to work.  Tracie (the other half, but really ALL of Glee) works at a studio in Tempe.  She asked me to sub for six of her lessons.  Alright, fine, I can always use extra money. 

So again, SUPPOSE you're asked to sub for six lessons, or 3 hours of your time.  And then suppose that FOUR of those lessons, INAROW do not show up.  What the HECK is a girl to do with herself?  I mean really.  I'm in a little dingey room, in a little dingey studio and I know NO ONE!  I sang through some Les Mis, walked through the Goodwill next door  (LAME ONE) texted friends, but alas it 'twas not enough to fill this vast time void.  So again, I ask you....WHAT is a girl to do?

Well I did what any normal girl would do of course.

I took pictures of myself.

A LOT of pictures of myself. 

I'm so retarded it's just ridiculous.  No really, laugh. I did.

Let it be known, I spent 2 hours tonight uploading these pics on Picassa and TRYING to figure out how to make a collage.  It DIDN'T work.  BOO!  But I DID try to make this viewing easier for all involved.

So whatever, I will cut down the number considerably.  Just know there are A-LOT more where these came from.

And now....I present....BOREDOM per Allyson in the afternoon.

This was my I'm so irritated and bored face.
Then I decided to see what other faces I could make.


I think I've got a Baboon down perfectly.  Don't you?

All I see is Scuttle from Little Mermaid.
Don't ask.  I just do.

Thank you.  Thankyouverymuch.

I hate you and your ass face.

Has anyone seen Maggie?  Oh nevermind, THERE she is.
She makes this exact face more than any other.

So Hi-larious I'm apparently choking.
This reminds me of a little story:
Other night....Spelling Bee performance.  So RIDICULOUSLY funny that at one point I threw myself forward, and then back with such force, that my rockstar necklace came flying back and hit me smack in my teeth.  I feared I was gonna lose my front tooth.'s ok.


I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.

I'm a thinker.  That's what I am.

Tongue roller.
But I can't flip.  Which has long bothered me.

I know a secret.  Tee hee.

OMG!  The killer tomato is coming this way.
Run for your life.

Jere sees THIS face A LOT!

I dunno....what chu wanna do?

My name is Allyson and I'm a DORK!

But at least I wasn't BORED for that 10 minutes.
AND, I got paid to act like a wierdo and take all these pics.
Score one for me.

Boredom and bedknobs,