Wednesday, March 31, 2010

You Wanna know what SUCKS?

  • When BOTH of your car batteries die in the same week.
  • When the button that opens your gas tank door BREAKS and you have no way to get into your tank.  AND said tank is empty.
  • Not having the know how or the money to fix this problem.
  • AND it's the same month that car registration is due, AND lube and oils on both cars.
  • When you get a flat tire on your bike.
  • When your stupid, computer is posessed and jumps all over the place while your typing, effectively sending you to crazy town.
  • When your two year old waits until she is IN the house, NEXT to the bathroom, and blithely informs you..."I just peed, right here on the floor."
  • Listening to screeching and fighting and bickering all day between kids.
  • When you GAIN weight, in spite of working out every day.  In fact, that is a DOUBLE suck!
  • Hitting you knee in the EXACT same place for the billionth time on the corner of your nightstand.
  • Stubbing your toe.    Repeatedly.
  • Being grumpy
  • Chronic Pain
  • Naked people at the gym.
  • American Idol this year
  • A Dirty house

You wanna know what DOESN'T suck?

  • I have 40 FORTY followers now.  That's fun!
  • Comments
  • A great family
  • Looking at my A for adorable childrens faces and knowing they're mine.
  • Listening to childrens unabashed laughter.   And their hysterical imaginary play games.
  • Hearing my kids call out for "Mommy".
  • Great friends.
  • Laughing.
  • Working out.  (surprising I know)
  • Tax Returns!
  • My voice
  • NOT being naked at the gym.
  • Biggest Loser
  • Talking to old friends on Facebook

I'm just sayin.

Bloggedy blah,


Ever been to an Iraqi goodbye?

Well, neither have we, but we sure had a good time anyway.

This is Shane, he's married to Dixie.  He left yesterday for 2 MONTHS in Iraq. (Look how adorable my Mom is back there in the background.) 

Why you  ask?  Because apparently he's crazy good at teaching people how to teach, so ASU (where he works) is sending him over for 2 months to help Iraqi teachers be better.  He's being duly compensated, but I'm not sure any compensation is enough to go into such a scarey place.

Anyway, in the spirit of a good time and saying goodbye, Dixie decided to throw a "Have you Ever been to Iraq" so long party.  There was food, games, family and fun.

Some made attempts at "costume".  Eric does say that this is a real Islamic prayer shawl, given to him by a Muslim many years ago.  Their son Quin had an awesome prayer cap and a sweet mustache.  Sorry, no pic.

Tatum and Livy were sportin a totally hot face painted look.  Because everyone KNOWS that under those Burkahs are some sweet painted faces.

There was plenty of food, and a lot of eating.  My Mom, the rebel she is, decided that SHE'D show that darn Osama and Suddam, and she brought PORK for us to eat.  So take that you stinkin men!  Ok fine, so maybe the only semi middle eastern food there were some pitas and hummus.  Whatevs, we enjoyed.

Please note Max, and what a big boy he was, just kickin it at the table with his Homies.

And SOME people chose to sleep through the whole thing.

I totally forgot to take pictures of the "pin the beard on Osama" game, and the name the picture game.  There was also an Iraqi trivia game, which if you must know, we all failed miserably.  Well, except Quin, 'cause he cheated and googled all the answers.

All in all, a good time was had by all.  We will miss Shane, and we truly hope that he is safe and has a good experience.


Baba ganoosh and hummus dreams,

Just in case you wanted to see Maggie in all her Easter finery, with her spectacular hair (I was quite proud of).  Well, you can't.  'Cause this pic pretty much sums up her entire day!  What a peach!  However, with that said, I am planning a post to reassure us all that she really is funny and cute on top of punky.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Post it note Tuesday

So, I've been watching this for awhile and finaly decided to link up and play.  I seriously have no idea what I'm doing, and couldn't get the cute header to copy right, but whatev, here it goes anyway.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Well now I'm just disturbed!

Yeah, so I didn't get up and go to the gym this morning.  I just DIDN'T do it.  Don't worry, I flogged myself a bit and slapped myself around and then moved on.  All it meant was that I now had to go tonight, which is a double eww and a giant "SUCK IT!"  I HATE going to the gym at night, and let me tell you why.

At night time, the gym feels like some club that I did NOT get the invite too.  There are FAR to many people, and they're generally prettier and skinnier than me.  Also, I am rather disdainful of showering at night, going to bed and then getting up to just shower again. Ain't my thang.  But alas, I had selfishly chosen not to go in the a.m., so my punishment was set.

At precisely 8:30 p.m. I rolled up to the gym.  "GREAT, the freaking parking lot is full."  After a couple of rounds through the parking lot I finally found a spot.  I gathered up my stuff and headed in.  I'm not kidding when I say, this place is hopping like New Orleans at Mardi Gras, or the mall on a Saturday afternoon.  So...Many...People!  UGH!  I really prefer my peeps at 5:30.  It's a few other chubbies like me, some other moms here and there...the occassional washed up jock, a few guys trying to carry on their glory days, you know, we're a motley but lovable crew.  As a total sidenote, I'm seriously considering starting another blog, just to chronicle my thoughts and observations at the gym.  'Cause I'm here to tell you, I have some pretty funny thoughts.  Like this one time...this guy, who CLEARLY had had his heyday in 1970 came meandering through the gym.  He was totally wearing his "Golds Gym" shirt (circa 1970) and what can only be described as spanky pants (you know, like cheerleaders wear under their skirts)  a totally hot and happenin terry cloth headband, huge man glasses and a balding head.  I'm telling you, he was probably the SH in THE 70'S!  So, he comes sauntering past me, heading for some machine, sure to flex his muscular stature and I am telling those awesome spanky pants (ummm, avert your eyes, or cover your ears, or uh, if easily offened, jump down) I don't know how to say this in any other way...but to put it "delicately"....there was nothing but "head" for days (sorry Mom, that's bound to kill dad, don't tell him I said it).  It was DISTURBING at best.  After I vomited a bit in my mouth, I looked up to see a fellow chubby gym guy and we made eye contact and then, we both just started giggling.  Like, seriously, was that guy for real?  OH Yeah, yeah he was.

But, I've completely taken a left turn.  I was talking about tonight.  And I feel it's an equally good tale to tell.  So, there I was, in people overload central, heading for the locker room.  Tonight was a swim night, so I had to go in and just take my shirt and shorts off that were over my 'AQUATARD' and head out.  I walked into the locker room and boom, I see a streak of naked butt trot past me.  I was so caught off guard, I had to really process in my mind..."is that what I really just saw?"  Now mind you, in the other times I've been in the locker room, and women have showered, or whatever, they have had a towell around them, and discreetly gotten dressed.  But no, it was real, there she was..some chick in FULL nudiness, not trying to hide anything.  I shook my head, trying to process what I saw.  I glanced back, and you wanna know what she was doing, in her bare moony glory?  She was standing with her head under the HAND dryer, trying to dry her hair.  So now,wierd!  I'm standing at my locker, disrobing, and cautiously pulling my towell around my ever too large bottom half.  And here she comes, but now she has a shirt on.  And she's standing RIGHT next to me.  So, I think, ok are there panties involved here?  Nope, no there isn't.  Once again, I see her full hiney.  And, if you must know, it was probably a PERFECT butt.  One we'd all pay to have.  But still, I just wasn't prepared for such brazenness.  Now, I'm over by a mirror putting my totally hawt cap on when I notice that she's pulling her jeans on, with NO UNDERWEAR!  She was nakedy naked in her jeans.  I can't fathom this, not at all.  I know, call me naive, call me old fashioned, call me stupid, but that area is dark and damp and well, it needs protection from the elements.  It was all just too much.  I was fully DISTURBED!  But somehow, I "held it together" enough to now head out to the pool.

Have I mentioned that the gym at night is a giant freaking club?  Because, instead of my quiet little pool, with noone in it, I walked into a freaking frat party at the hot tub.  Awesome!  Look out fellas, fat girl coming in.  Actually, I got into the freezing pool while they all hung out like tards with their feet in the hot tub.  So, whatev, I'm doing my workout, trying not to let it get to me that fat fat fatty is swimming for all their viewing pleasure.  But, upon one of my head out of water moments I hear...."DUDE my all time favorite show is Saved By the Bell."  All I could think was.



Then I felt better.  These guys were so nerd bomber.  All trying to one up te other on their job, life, knowledge, etc.  And the best part, I could swim better than all of them.

After a beating in the pool, I then traipsed my ample booty and bosoms over to the sauna.  I have never been a fan of overly hot rooms that cause sweat, but felt like magic.  That heat felt like a million fingers, massaging down and working out the extreme tension in my shoulders and head!  It was AWESOME!  When my hair was sufficiently crunchy and my body equally sweaty, I got up and made my exit from "the club."

Then, I promptly came home and ate chocolate!

I mean YES, I'm awesome!!!

Frat tards and nudies,


Saturday, March 27, 2010

Hair today, gone tomorrow

I may or  may not have mentioned in the past that I have a bit of a "hair" problem in less than desirable places.  You know, "the beard", the stache, etc.  However, my legs have really never been an overly hairy spot on my body.  Well, the lower legs haven't, but then THAT was probably too much information, wasn't it.  Anyway, I can go a good long time without shaving these days.  What does grow is rather fine and spotty at best, so i just don't worry about it.  However, yesterday I was going to be swimming with some girls, giving them some "lessons" if you will, so they could be better prepared for the tri.  I figured I'd better clean up the pitts and perhaps give the legs a little once over.  I "shaved", swam, did my thing.

There I was, earlier this afternoon, wearing my "short pants" as Maggie likes to call them, standing out in the breezy sunshine on my driveway.  Max needed a little outside time, and I was happy to oblige.  As I stood in the breeze, I had this odd sensation on my lower left ankle area.  It literally felt like hair was billowing about.  So, I decided to take a closer look at this situation.

Apparently I had somehow missed a rather large and obvious 3 inch area on the back of my right angle.  There it was for all to see, literally blowing in the breeze....2 inch long black hair.  Have I mentioned that I might be as white as one Edward Cullen? In fact, I tried to take a picture of my own leg, but due to my diamond like skin, the reflection was too great and the hair didn't show in the picture.  I apologize for the inconvenience.

Seriously, how gross!

Sasquatch and razor blades,


Post-it Thank yous

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Letters to the Editor

Or just random letters that needed to be written,
by Yours Truly.

Dear Lane Bryant,

WE'RE FAT! Please sew accordingly.   For example:
No sleeves + FAT arms = Hideous and foul! Or just...NOT for public consumption.

Fat arms me

Dear Avenue,

Thank you for making more fat appropriate clothes.  However, could you PLEASE make your shirts a touch longer, so my buttfront can be covered.  Noone wants to see that either.

Ever yours,
Bummy tummy

Dear Buttfront,

I HATE YOU!  Thanks for ruining every outfit and sucking the life out of me!

Untruly yours,

Dear spin class,

Thanks for the PAIN in the you know whaty.  I'll never be the same.

Ouchy chooch

Dear wrinkles invading all around my eyes,

No thank you.  I think you're looking for my Mom, please head that way.  I'm FAR to young to be rendevouzing with you yet.

Smoothly yours,

Dear scale,

GO TO HELL!  On second thought, since I'm already going there, you can stay away.  Just man up and stop torturing me! You big jerk!

Hatefully yours,

Dear Mary Kay,

My apologies for disparaging you and your eye makeup remover.  My bad!  My sensitive eyes now thank you for less irritation.



Dear adorable neighbor boy,

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy; STOP the never ending drum drills.  I might pull my face off the next time you start.

Rat a tat tat,

Your Neighbor

Dear computer,

I'm very sorry that you're over a year old and have been somewhat mistreated in your time.  We love you oh so much. Please, I'm begging, on my knees, PLEASE keep working.  I can't take the random turn offs, or the scarey power plug jiggle, or the fear of everything being eaten.  We can't buy a new one, so we need you to love us back for awhile (like another year) longer.

Loving you with all my heart,


Dear Maggie,

Mommy loves you immensely, but please, PLEASE stop hating on me with the tantrums and screaming.  I just want to do your hair and get you dressed.  I don't feel this is to much to ask.

Lovingly (and fearfully),

Your Mama

Dear Max,

Thanks for being the sweetest boy ever.  But, could you PLEASE stop falling on your face?  People are gonna start talking, AND it's really gonna mess with your modeling career, which in turn messes with my future income.  I thank you!

Much love,


Dear enquiring minds,

HOT doctor is at Palo Verde Pediatrics and his name is Mike Pearlstein.  Totally worth going to, I promise!



*****Post Edit*****  Hot doc is married and in his mid 40's.

Dear Jenny D,

Thank you for your help, in put and comments on my blog!  And thank you for all you do and who you are in life.  I really love and appreciate you and your family.  So thank you for fate that brought us together seven whole years ago.



Dear blog readers,

For the LOVE, will you PLEASE comment.  If you're a stalker (which i totally love and welcome) please oh please, just say hello.  Let me know you're here.  If you're a regular reader, just comment occassionally.  I try to be considerate and comment on yours as well.  This plea is fully exempt to Jenny D who I can safely say has commented on every ONE of my blog posts.  I love you all, I really do.  I'm just having a selfish me moment.

The End.

Ok, I think I've said my peace!  And I do feel a little bit better.  With that said, there is some Idol to go and mock, some Biggest Loser to inspire and some Amazing Race to catch.

Tomes and toilets,


It only took 2 years...

Once upon a time, a LONG time ago in the land of Indiana there lived a girl named Lisa.  She was of super intelligence, finishing her Masters Degree in MOLECULAR BIOLOGY at the age of 22 at Purdue.  Also living near Purdue was another girl, her name was Sister Shumway (that's me) and she was but a lowly and humble missionary, serving the people, and of only medium intelligence.  Anyway, Lisa was the Relief Society President of the student branch and she quickly became a good friend and allie to us sister missionaries.  We bonded quickly, and were able to call and wake her from her morning slumber to rescue us from our stupidity, use her for her car to take us far places, lend us an ear, make us laugh, etc.  She truly was a treasure!  So, as fate/luck would have it, she graduated at the same time I was going home from the mission.  Then fate intervened again, and i moved to Provo, WHERE she lived.  Our friendship was solidified and deepened over my time spent there.  In the course of a year, not knowing what to do with herself and all her brainy education, she decided to go on a mission.  So, I was there to send her off to the Czhec Republic.  I moved home, she served her 18 months.  Then, she moved back to Provo and did whatever it was she did.  But, anytime I'd go up there, I'd stay at her house.(much to the chagrin of her younger sister, who was not loving me or my family much. haha) And Lisa made it a point to come down and visit me on my birthdays here in AZ.  So, can you see, my point here, we were pals.  And let me tell you, there is a lot to love about her.

Lisa is:
Sooo smart
VERY witty
Wise beyond her years
A good listener
Just wonderful.

The years passed, she now decided a doctorate was what she needed to do.  So off she went to Indiana again, though at a different University.  And also in this time, she found her husband.  He lived nearby in Illinois.  They dated, and decided to get married.  She happened to get married a few months after me, so Jere and I went up for her wedding.  Then off they went back to Indy.  Lisa jumped right on the baby train, wasting no time.  And before I knew it, she had a beautiful daughter, that she named...Allyson.  Made me cry when she told me.  Though I'm sure it was not that she named her literally AFTER me, she DID spell her just like me.  They eventually moved to a tiny town in Southern Illinois where they lived "forever" it seemed.  She had twins after  Allyson and a busy life of 3 babies at once. 

We got busy with our respective lives and didn't keep in touch as well as we could have.  But, we would e-mail or talk occassionaly, and the friendship was always the same.

One day, TWO YEARS AGO, Lisa called and asked what I thought about them moving to AZ perhaps.  I was ecstatic, of COURSE I wanted her to move here.  Oh hooray, thinnk of the possibilities.  So, she did move here....... and yesterday..... was the FIRST time I've been to her house, and only second time I've even seen her.  Isn't that embarrassing?  i know, it is!  In my defense, she DID move to freaking Cooper and Riggs, which frankly is a LONG way on the other side of the world.  But still, no excuse.

I met her twins for the first time (met allyson as a tiny baby and then at Max's shower) and spent time in her home and chatted and laughed ad talked and basked in the joy that is Lisa.

WHY do we waste time, or put off seeing people that we love so much?  I really don't know.  But I do know will NOT be 2 years before I see her again.  I need her wise wit in my life!

Just a little shot of my pal and her kiddos!

Thanks Lisa for a lovely morning.  Oh, and I'll be back for the sippy cup!!

Old friends and inside jokes,


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Place is Secured...

'Tis NO secret around here that we have a bit of a swearing problem.  I believe I've made that abundantly clear.  I've even been rather forthcoming about my toddlers swearing problem as a result.  And by problem, I mean, she liked to say dammit, A LOT.

Well, I feel it safe to say that the "dammit" situation of 2009/10 has been put to rest.  Placed under control, if you will.  Maggie has not let nary a D word fly in quite some time.  She has questioned, and or reminded me that dangit and darnit are appropriate alternative words.  In fact, just this afternoon, you can imagine my shock and dismay when THIS situation took place.

There we were, driving throuh the Costco parking lot, heading for gas.  Maggie had her receipt (she really loves to get smiley faces on them, and then carry them with her forever and always) firmly in hand and was talking and wrestling with the paper.  She starts saying "dangit, oh dangit."  "Mom, it's ok if we say dangit, right?"  I assured her that was a great word to use.  So, I hear, "dangit, dangit, oh dangit, DANGIT....What...the...HELL?"  Yeah, Houston we have a problem.  I will not lie when I say, it took EVERYTHING in me to control the loud laughter wellling within me.  I mean really, 2 year old, expressing frustration, funny.  BUT, I held it together and I said..."Maggie, that is NOT a word that is ok to use.  That is a garbage word, and you may not ever say that again."  To which she replied....

"Well Mommy, how come YOU can say what the hell?"

Really?  REALLY?  WHAT am I s'posed to say to that?  Well Maggie, that woud be because your Mommy is a heathen sinner and she's co-piloting the bus down to hell with your Daddy.  Or...well Maggie, JUST BECAUSE, I CAN!  No, what I attempted to say was..."I'm really sorry that I've said that word Maggie, and I won't be saying it anymore.  It's not a word that we should be using.  BUT, sometimes, grownups CAN say things that little kids can't."  Then I assured her once again that I would no longer say that, and that she also would no longer use such words.  And you want to know what is the most disturbing and embarrassing part of this situation?  She TRULY got those two words from me.  NOT her foul/potty mouthed father.  She spends 98% of her time with me, and he has for the most part worked to keep his swearing around her under control.  So, this is squarely MY fault.  Soooo humiliating!  My chastisement is complete, I am humbled.  Look out world, the use of flippin, fetchin, scriddly dee is making a comeback at the VP's!

I'm scared!

How does someone this "angelic" looking have SUCH a streak of naughty and sassy?  I ask you!  Have I mentioned that she's mean too?  OH, AND.....she called me stupid the other day.  Yeah, that did NOT go over well with Daddy.  She had some serious consequences for that.  But, WHERE did that come from?  We don't say that word around her ever.  OY!!!

Finally, just a quick note on the conversation at lunch today.  Brooklyn requested mac'n'cheese.  Somehow I over milked it and it was WAYYY to runny.  Seriously, who ruins freaking mac 'n cheese.  So, I decided to add some real cheese to thicken it up (super delish by the way) and whilst being "gourmet" I put in a dash of pepper.  I put the bowls down in front of the girls, went back to get Max's and I hear...

Brooklyn:  "Uhhh, what's in this?"
Me:  "Cheese"
Brooklyn:  "No, there's crap in here."
Me:  "EXCUSE me?"
Brooklyn:  "Well, what is this crap on here?"
Me:  "Pepper, and you will NOT speak to me like that again."
Brooklyn:  "I don't like pepper."
Me:  "Yes you do, now stop your whining."

And then she ate it all gone.  But for reals, I was caught completely off guard by the "crap" comment.  But, I'm sure she comes by that honestly, she has two punky much older brothers, they keep it "real" around her.

A pottyriphic day for sure!

Hell and highwater,

Saturday, March 20, 2010

You know WHAT....

I love Max, I really, really, REALLY love that kid.  Believe me, he's adorable, and smart and funny and so sweet.  BUT, man oh man can he test me, and he can make me cry.

The other morning, I was trying to get ready in a hurry, Jere was getting ready too and the kids were playing about the house.  For reals, this is normally so just fine.  However, this particular morning I hear Maggie say:

"Ummm, he broke the pink glass Mommy." 

To which I though, I don't even own a pink glass, whatever.  But then I got a little nervous.  WHAT 'pink" glass was she talking about.  She kept repeating his infraction and then I heard it, the tinkling of little broken bits.  I opened up the door to find Max, jagged shard of glass in hand, merrily playing on the kitchen floor amidst a sea of broken glass.  BEAUTIFUL, purple and hand painted Venetian, hand blown glass.  It was my beautiful and prized Venetian vase that my parents had brought home from Italy.  I was crushed.  I cleaned it up as quickly and best I could and then I promptly went to my room and cried.  I cried and cried.  I know it's really silly, but I really loved that vase, and I was sad to see it go to such a tragic demise.

Max also likes to throw, ney, CHUCK WITH GREAT FORCE whatever he gets in his hands, whether that is a sippy, food, balls, etc.  I'm really worried that someday a window is gonna meet it's untimely death by his hands as well.  But, he does it all with such glee and a big toothy smile, that honestly, sometimes, it's hard to get after him.

Wanna know what else happened this week?  Ok, I'll tell you.
Maggie spiked a 102 fever one night, and she'd been acting sick and funny about peeing, so I thought, maybe she had a UTI or something.  I called my Mom, told her the symptoms, she agreed that it sounded like such.  So, I figured I'd suck it up and take her to the doctoor the next day.  This only sucks due to the lack of insurance, so I knew it'd be 75 bucks out of pocket.  Next morning, still had a fever, so i really called and really took her in.  Our usual doc was out of town, so they had me see another doc in the practice.
Maggie is NOT a fan of the doctor.  Who knows why?  She's overly dramatic to be sure.  So, I'm holding her on my lap, she's crying about how he will hurt her, etc.  and in walks this delicious man.  Sorry, no other way to say it, this doctor was HAAAAWWWWWWTTT!!  And on top of hot, he was so cool.  He spent sooo much time just talking to Maggie, joking with her, playing with her, tyring to get her to calm down, and let him do his thing.  To be perfectly honest, I was ready for him to just do it, and stop trying to be her friend. BUT, in the end, he won her over.  She smiled at him, stopped crying, let him look in her ears, etc.  When I told him what I thought was wrong, symptoms, etc.  He of course said he needed a pee sample.  He looked at Maggie and said, "so, you gonna help me out?  You gonna give me some pee pee?"  To which she replied (with a dramatic protruding lower lip)  "I"m TRYING."  He looked at me, then he looked at her and he said, "You know what YOUR problem is don't you?  You're TOO smart." Amen brother, AMEN!  Anyway, to make a long story shorter, we got to the doc at 9:50, by 11:50 she still hadn't peed, and we'd tried everything, so we left, went to lunch, went home and at precisely 1:50p.m. on Thursday Maggie looked up, smiled excitedly and said "I'm PEEING in the bag Mommy." Oh, they had bagged her, so it'd get caught and we didn't have to deal with the toilet.  FOUR HOURS it took, but we finally got it.  So, now I had to traipse CLEAR back to the office with pee in hand.  And you wanna know what?  There was nothing wrong.  No infection, NOTHING.  Just a random fever.  So, I literally took 75 bucks out, peed on it and flushed it down the toilet.  That hurts, that hurts BAD!!!  Another note on hot doc...he called me on Friday, just to check on Maggie, see how she was doing.  I've never had a doctor do that.  DILEMMA!  I SO want to switch to him as her doctor, but awkwardness would abound I'm sure, since he's in the same practice with ur other doctor, who is good friends with my sister.  What to do.?

On the upside, since I was out and child free, I decided to have some me time.  i mean, I deserved it right?  I have a yucky sinus/cold, snot hell going on, I felt and looked like crap, so I deserved solitude.  I got the car washed, put gas in, went to Avenue ALL.BY.MYSELF and got some new sunglasses and adorable flip flops AND i got a pedi.  Man I love pedis!!!  It turned out to be a great afternoon for a wasted morning.

Jere is in the throws of Easter Pageant, so we haven't seen much of him all week.  Tonight I'm gonna take the kids to the rehearsal performance, 'cause ummm, have you ever had the misfortune of trying to go to pageant during it's run?  You have to park a good 5 miles away, camp out hours in advance and deal with 4000 people.  While pageant is wonderful and all, it's just not worth that hassle to me. (Sorry jenee).  So, we'll go tonight, while it's quiet on the western front.  The kids can run free, get a feel for it and I can get my Easter spiritual upliftment!!  Hey, don't tell me I'm not  supporter of the cause.

Got my hair done today.  Can we get a woot woot!  I needed that like I needed a toothbrush i the morning, a kleenex for the snot nose, or like the air to breathe.  I love when it's fresh and new.  I mean, the color only lasts for like A DAY before it fades, so I need to live it up whilst I can.  Hence, party at the pageant!!

With that said.....

Peeps and pageants,


Brooklyn Turned 4!

So, Brooklyn turned FOUR....a WEEK ago.  I really, really meant to make mention of it, give a shout out, etc.  I even properly documented the whole day with pics.  But, every time I sit down here, I just can't seem to get enough gumption up to write entries.  However, I swore that this day would not pass without the birthday entry.

It is hard for me to comprehend sometimes, the passing of time.  She was just 5 months old when she started coming to me, every day.  Until she was about 3 she called me Mom most of the time.  I have seen her through 4 birthdays now, watched her hair grow, her vocabulary blossom, her dramatics increase.  She has been funny and animated since birth, and I promise, it only increases with each passing day.  So, here she is 4, smart, goofy, pretty and Brooklyn.

 Wish I was cool enough to do side by sides!  UGH!  This is her last year on her 3rd birthdy.
Looking colorful and fresh on Birthday number 4!

I should say that we began her birthday celebrating the day before.

We and by we I mean I, made cupcakes and then we (and again, by we I mean I) frosted them to take to her preschool class.  I did allow her to frost one, but it was such a ridiculous mess that I had to put the kibosh on that.  I did however allow her to put the little sprinkle balls on all of them.  They weren't the best stickers.  She was making  holy mess and said, "these are like bouncy balls."  and then gleefully threw a bunch more on.  Anyway, she was thrilled, the class got fed and birthday joy was spread.

I attempted some decoration, so she'd feel special.  I had to forgo any balloons, as that might have been enough to send Max into serious overdrive and he'd explode from the excitment of it all.  We streamered up, had a Happy Birthday Sign and of course...
We had the TIARA.  I guess I have begun some birthday traditions.  She has had a different and lovely tiara for every birthday.  It is my goal (thank you Summer) to make each birthday special by decorating their door, or the house, and tiaras for girls and probably balloons (provided Max calms down).  So, she was greeted at the door with a big Happy Birthday song, tiara and pretty rings and she's wearing her new necklace Maggie picked out for her.

Seriously?  How freaking cute can you get?  Please note Maggies lovely slippers, and her matching necklace.  That day, in the car, on our way somewhere, Maggie said to Brooklyn.  "Brookie, I really do love you."  To which Brooklyn responded.  "I know you do.  We are sisters."  And Maggie said, "yeah."  It was a really sweet moment.  Especially considering they spend so much of their time acting like real sisters, as in, screaming, scratching, kicking and fighting and crying.

We went to Sweetcakes where she got to pick out her very own giant cookie.  I was hoping for a big cupcake, but they didn't have those.  Oh well, she got goodies, none the less.

Well, what did you expect?  My cute kids were there too.  Maggie chose the same cookie as Brooklyn.

After filling up on their cookies, we headed for some play time at the park.  For the record, Fitch is a great little park to go to.  A LOT of slides and climbing stuff.  They monkeyed around for a little bit and then we headed home for naps.

Max really does love play time at the park, or just outside.  All in all, a good day and time was had by all.

I'm so grateful for the last 4 years, for all you've taught me and for the many laughs you have provided.  You have been a great big sister cousin to Maggie, and taught her a few sassy tricks along the way.  Thank you for being a good sleeper, a good helper, a silly maker and so much more.  I can't believe that I only have one more year to have you here and watch you grow and develop.  You are truly my other daughter, and I love you so much.




Wednesday, March 17, 2010

At A Loss

Hey world, I seriously don't know what to do.  I have apparently lost all ability to reason and or parent with Maggie, and I'm losing my mind a little bit.  Not gonna lie.  It's never a good thing when the Mommy is responding like a child to the child.  But, I REALLY can't take the CONSTANT battles, over the dumbest stuff EVER!  Currently we are:

1. Not allowed to touch her hair, EVER!  She goes into mass crying, head shaking, screaming fits.  UNLESS the good fairy has magically kissed her brow and she deems it OK to do it.  Then, she's calm as a cucumber, sweet as anything.

2. Not allowed to even MENTION putting shoes on.  She will respond with a scream "NO, I don't want ANYFING!"  She told me all shoes hurt her.  Except, again, when she's got her gaurd down, or th shoe fairy visited, or her mood is JUST right, she happily parades around in any number of shoes.

3. Not allowed to pick her clothes, because inevitably they "BUG" or they're "Squished" (super wierd thing with her underwear are squished. Don't know what it means, other than she can't POSSIBLY wear them).  So, there are only a few "suitable" items for wear.  If we wear anything else, it's only after massive screaming, crying, kicking fits.

4.  Not allowed to mention going to the potty.  She's gone through some wierd regression this last week.  She was a perfect pottier.  Never an issue, told us everytime she needed to go.  No accidents, etc.  But, starting Saturday night, she peed all over the floor for the babysitter, and has peed on the floor a couple more times now.  She REFUSES to sit on the toilet,  because she will "fall in."  UGH!!!

5.  She is suddenly soooo scared of all the "amimals in the hallway, or her room."  Yesterday, through wierd cries and sad faces, she told me she was sooo scared of.........the LAMP.  The one sitting right next to us, providing light so we weren' in the dark, which is what you SHOULD be afraid of...THE DARK!

6. Not allowed to offer her food.  She will yell.."NO!"  "Not Anyfing!"  BUT, if she asks first it's fine, or if you just put it on the table, she will come to it eventually like it's this just discovered treasure.

I'm just so at a loss.  WHAT is happening?  HOW do i deal with this?  Because honestly...trying to ever leave the house is such a burdonsome chore, I almost don't want to do it.  The battles are epic and exhausting.  Where has my calm, happy child gone?  Will she ever come back?  HOW do I stay calm and get the job done?

I'm not kidding people, I need HELP!!!!  I mean, a raggedy haired, shoeless girl is just NOT gonna cut it, not even at Wal-mart.

Throw downs and bad hair,


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Ain't no thang

So, it's Sunday evening, Max is sleeping (since we have the suckitude of 1:00 church,a nap can't happen until 4:00), Jere is off visiting the neighborhood with Maggie and I'm just sitting here pondering the meaning of life wasting time.  We had a lovely, albeit brief visit from our rock star friend Taylor.  No really, he's sort of a rockstar.  He tours the world in a group called Barrage.  They are AMAZING, and I highly reccomend anyone go and see it if ever given the opportunity!  He heads out tomorrow for another length of his tour, ending with a month long stay in China through May.  I love that I have such talented friends.  No really, it's sort of retarded the people I know in my life.  Rockstars, Broadway stars, local stars, costumers, makeup artists, pianists, alllll wonderful and funny and talented and MY real life friends.  I'm lucky!

Rockstar Taylor.

Anywho, this is gonna just be sort of stream of conscience, 'cause some random things have been flitting through my mind.  Well, when DON'T random things flit through?  That's the better question.

So, apparently, I lost 2 followers over the last week or so.  Really?  What happened there?  Was it the swearing post?  Did I get too boring?  I don't know.  But, it's bothering me none the less.  Sorry ex-followers, sorry for not living up to your expectations or whatever.  And while we're here...where have all the comments gone?  Where is the love?  I'm just sayin.

Is anyone else as bugged perplexed by the new "up and up" brand name/line at Target as I?  For reals, the packaging is so unaestheticaly pleasing that I won't even consider buying it.  It looks like some jr. high kid doodled it out while sitting on the toilet.  I don't know, it's just TOO generic and, well, dumb.  Why did they think this was a good idea?  Really, I NEED to know.

What IS that stupid arrow and "up and up" all about?

Max will NOT go to nursery unless I'm there with him.  I totally have one of "those" kids.  The cling to their Mama kind, the ones I never likes, 'cause hey, go be cute for other people, not just me!  He falls apart and just bawls if he can't see my lovliness.  Last night he cried for a full 1/2 hour after we left.  Apparently standing at the door, unconsolable.  Our poor babysitter.  Which reminds me....

I HEART our babysitter sooooo much it's almost ridiculous.  She is the most adorable 12 year old.  And by adorable, I mean, just slightly awkward, quirky, cute, and soooo great with my kids.  They LOVE her, get excited about her, repeat her name throughout the week, etc.  So, I must share this story, because it still makes me giggle.  Last week Jer and I went to see  movie.  And it must be stated that EVERY time we've had this babysitter, we've never kept her as long as we thought.  Either we got done early, or Julie came home or whatever.  So, this was definitely the longest night for her.  The movie ended just after 10:00.  As the credits were rolling, I pulled out my phone to turn the ringer on and check for messages.  Sure enough, there was a call from our house number.  I got a bit panicked.  "oh no, what's wrong, something happened, Max won't stop crying, etc.?"  I told jere we had a message, and I dialed voice mail fast as I could.  And there it was, THE most CLASSIC message of all time.  I wish more than anything you all could hear it.  But, it went something like this.

"Oh hey, Allyson, this is @%%*&, and well, I was just wondering when you might be coming home because (insert HUGE yawn over this next part) I'm really getting pretty tired.  Ok, so call me." 

HA!!!!  That was the cutest dang thing I've ever heard.  For reals, laugh out loud.  WHO DOES THAT?  Who calls their "employer" and say, I'm getting a little tired.  It still just makes me giggle so much.  I mean really, just curl on up and fall asleep, i did it all the time in my babysitting days.  Needless to say, we rushed on home so she could get her beauty sleep.  For reallys I love her so!!!

We went and saw Pippin last night, that show blows.  I mean, they did a great job for what it was.  There was good direction, some funny stuff, cool costumes, etc.  But, just as a show....STUPID!  Who ever thought it was a good idea in the first place?  I don't get it.  On the flip side...

We went and saw "Light in the Piazza" at Phoenix Theatre on Friday night.  There are NO words for the beauty and perfection that was.  Our good friend Kaitlyn was the lead (see, told you I have amazing friends) and she was stunning, perfect, amazing. And the guy opposite her, HELLO, I'm in love!  Oh man, SUCH a great show.  Sorry you all missed it!

Just a little shot of said Kaitlyn in all her gorgeousness on her wedding day.

I know, two shows in one weekend.  Who ARE we?  We haven't done that in, oh, EVER!  AND, Jere saw Avenue Q on Thursday night.

Yeah, and everyone around me is totally losing weight.  I sort of hate them.  I don't get it...I'm working out, I'm trying to watch what I eat (at times) and I promise you, I'm getting fatter.  Frustrating and scarey.  Umm, but I must do a shout out to a loyal reader.  JEN  you look AWESOME, so proud of you!!!

The weather has been amazing, and I want to marry it.  I wish it could be this way allll the time!

The kids and I walked over to Jenee P's yesterday, it was a delightful afternoon just chatting.  Have I mentioned that I love my friends, and my neighborhood, and my house, and my FRIENDS!!!

Ok, Max is crying, time to eat dinner, then go play at the Wrights.

Random and up,


Friday, March 12, 2010

The definition of...

I am fairly certain that if you were to look in the dictionary under "Princess" THIS is the picture you would see:

I mean really....she up and posed for me, ON.HER.OWN.  How could I NOT share this with the bloggy world?  We had just got home with these new fancy "slippers" from the store and the necklace which she was just beside herself with joy over.  I must say here, I HEART Wal-marts Cutie Boutique sooo much.  It is the most adorable stuff, for sooo cheap!  Those slippers were 4 bucks thank you very much.  I seriously will walk down that aisle and just love on all the stuff, wishing I were 2 again.  I don't know how, but I truly got the girliest of girls.  And truth be told, I love it!  For the last two days, she has insisted on carrying her pink sparkly caboodle full of jewelry with her wherever we go.  It's like her "fancy" purse.  Now, if only she'd stop fighting the hair, MAN is that a battle I detest.

I sure do love this girl and her perfectly heart shaped face.  Princesses are fun, even if they do try your patience with all their high falutin demands!

Sparkles and tiaras,


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My Name is Maximus Prime, but you can call me Trouble for short.

**Please note this is one of THREE entries put up today.**

Where, oh WHERE do I even begin to write about this most amazing ball of energy, adorableness and joy?  He is truly the GREATEST gift.  Those big ridiculous eyes suck you in and you just can't help but love him, in spite of his busy, naughty little self.  Really, this shirt, and this choclatey face says EVERYTHING there is to know about my Maxy.  He flushes toilets relentlessly, pulls the toilet paper rolls with wreckless abandon, does NOT take No for an answer, pushes the water dispenser until there are lakes on my floor, teases and hits and cuddles and loves.

We went to the doctor the other day for his well check.  He didn't appreciate the bright bright sun.  Don't worry, i was careful taking this picture while driving down the freeway.

Clearly this shot was taken BEFORE the nurse walked in and ridiculously wanted to measure him and weigh him.  He becomes absolutely hysterical with fear when that happens.  So silly.  But, you'll all be so pleased to know he is one HEALTHY boy.  His stats at 16 months are:

Weight:  30 lbs. 91%
Height:  34 in.  96%
Head: 19.7 in. 97% apparently my kids have big HEEDS!

He is sooo darn active.  Honestly, it is SUCH a different experience from Maggie.  He RUNS everywhere, he jumps, he spins.  He can open all the doors, with regular round door handles and does so regularly.  So, upper locks are a necessity.  He climbs EVERYTHING.  Hence....

Even with the chairs up on the table (which is where they live at all times now) he found a way to get up on the table.  He loves the apples and THROWS them with great force all over.  In fact, he throws EVERYTHING he gets his hands on.

He's just super happy and loving and giggly and adorable.  Who wouldn't want a little bunny like this?  By the way, that lovely sore under his eye came from him climbing on a folding chair, it collapsed and he fell face first onto the edge of the coffee table.  At one point last week he had that, a gash on his forehead, a bruise on his other cheek and something on his nose.  He looked like he'd been in a brawl.  Short of a helmet and some bubble wrap, I don't know what else to do.

Max LOVES the flowers.  Whenever he sees them he gets very excited and says, over and over and OVER  "ower, ower, ower" and insists that we put it in.  Which, if you must know is a rather difficult feat, seeing as he has no hair on the top of his head.  But, it makes him so happy when we do it, even though he rips it out a second later.  Jere worries about this flower fetish, and my shoe wearing (I love this pic for capturing it all).  But I assure him it is only because he sees his sissy and his Mommy wearing them and he just thinks he should be the same.  So funny!

This boy LOVES, LOVES his "sissies" and wants to always be with them and doing what they do.  Sometimes it works out well, as they include him in playing "mom, dad, sister" or whatever it is they do.  Other times, it's a bit of a disaster, because he likes to tease them, and or hit them.  But all in all, he just loves to "belong."  I can't let him sit next to Maggie in the cart at Costco, or behind her in the stroller because he thinks it's hilarious to yank her flowers out, or yank her hair out, or hit her.  And for the record, SHE does not think it's so hilarious.

He has a total obsession with balloons and balls,  I can barely take him to any store without it becoming a complete melt down fest because he is practically popping his veins saying "alloon, awooon, or BALL, BALL, BALLLLLLLLLLL."  He doesn't understand why he can't hold it and love it and pet it.

He has quite a great vocabulary and understanding of all things.  Some of my favorites that he says are:

Et's go
Shoes (with the most adorable lateral lisp)
All gone
Got it
Shoes off
Socks off
Pants off
Julie (which he only yells, and it's hilarious)
Gucker (sucker, which he loves)
Thank you
baaaath (which he yells any time I seem like I might take his clothes off)
Cold (which is always accompanied by the sign with fervent shivering)
Night night (I will have to do a post about how I've apparently spawned Linus, for his connection to his blue blankie is THAT intense).
Uh oh
GOINK (which means drink)
For whatever reason he call his sippy his "bo-bee, or booby, that's what it sounds like.  It cracks me up everytime.

And actually, he will repeat ANYTHING you say or ask him to say.  We're working on animals and sounds right now.

He really is such a fun, funny little guy.  He makes me laugh and or "scream" every day; I can't imagine life without him and I am so glad he decided to come join us nearly a year and a half ago.  Whatever would we do without our busy, bruiser Maximus Prime?

Scabs and headwounds,