'Tis NO secret around here that we have a bit of a swearing problem. I believe I've made that abundantly clear. I've even been rather forthcoming about my toddlers swearing problem as a result. And by problem, I mean, she liked to say dammit, A LOT.
Well, I feel it safe to say that the "dammit" situation of 2009/10 has been put to rest. Placed under control, if you will. Maggie has not let nary a D word fly in quite some time. She has questioned, and or reminded me that dangit and darnit are appropriate alternative words. In fact, just this afternoon, you can imagine my shock and dismay when THIS situation took place.
There we were, driving throuh the Costco parking lot, heading for gas. Maggie had her receipt (she really loves to get smiley faces on them, and then carry them with her forever and always) firmly in hand and was talking and wrestling with the paper. She starts saying "dangit, oh dangit." "Mom, it's ok if we say dangit, right?" I assured her that was a great word to use. So, I hear, "dangit, dangit, oh dangit, DANGIT....What...the...HELL?" Yeah, Houston we have a problem. I will not lie when I say, it took EVERYTHING in me to control the loud laughter wellling within me. I mean really, 2 year old, expressing frustration, funny. BUT, I held it together and I said..."Maggie, that is NOT a word that is ok to use. That is a garbage word, and you may not ever say that again." To which she replied....
"Well Mommy, how come YOU can say what the hell?"
Really? REALLY? WHAT am I s'posed to say to that? Well Maggie, that woud be because your Mommy is a heathen sinner and she's co-piloting the bus down to hell with your Daddy. Or...well Maggie, JUST BECAUSE, I CAN! No, what I attempted to say was..."I'm really sorry that I've said that word Maggie, and I won't be saying it anymore. It's not a word that we should be using. BUT, sometimes, grownups CAN say things that little kids can't." Then I assured her once again that I would no longer say that, and that she also would no longer use such words. And you want to know what is the most disturbing and embarrassing part of this situation? She TRULY got those two words from me. NOT her foul/potty mouthed father. She spends 98% of her time with me, and he has for the most part worked to keep his swearing around her under control. So, this is squarely MY fault. Soooo humiliating! My chastisement is complete, I am humbled. Look out world, the use of flippin, fetchin, scriddly dee is making a comeback at the VP's!
Finally, just a quick note on the conversation at lunch today. Brooklyn requested mac'n'cheese. Somehow I over milked it and it was WAYYY to runny. Seriously, who ruins freaking mac 'n cheese. So, I decided to add some real cheese to thicken it up (super delish by the way) and whilst being "gourmet" I put in a dash of pepper. I put the bowls down in front of the girls, went back to get Max's and I hear...
Brooklyn: "Uhhh, what's in this?"
Brooklyn: "No, there's crap in here."
Me: "EXCUSE me?"
Brooklyn: "Well, what is this crap on here?"
Me: "Pepper, and you will NOT speak to me like that again."
Brooklyn: "I don't like pepper."
Me: "Yes you do, now stop your whining."
And then she ate it all gone. But for reals, I was caught completely off guard by the "crap" comment. But, I'm sure she comes by that honestly, she has two punky much older brothers, they keep it "real" around her.
A pottyriphic day for sure!
Hell and highwater,
Whoville Christmas Trees
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