Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Place is Secured...

'Tis NO secret around here that we have a bit of a swearing problem.  I believe I've made that abundantly clear.  I've even been rather forthcoming about my toddlers swearing problem as a result.  And by problem, I mean, she liked to say dammit, A LOT.


Well, I feel it safe to say that the "dammit" situation of 2009/10 has been put to rest.  Placed under control, if you will.  Maggie has not let nary a D word fly in quite some time.  She has questioned, and or reminded me that dangit and darnit are appropriate alternative words.  In fact, just this afternoon, you can imagine my shock and dismay when THIS situation took place.


There we were, driving throuh the Costco parking lot, heading for gas.  Maggie had her receipt (she really loves to get smiley faces on them, and then carry them with her forever and always) firmly in hand and was talking and wrestling with the paper.  She starts saying "dangit, oh dangit."  "Mom, it's ok if we say dangit, right?"  I assured her that was a great word to use.  So, I hear, "dangit, dangit, oh dangit, DANGIT....What...the...HELL?"  Yeah, Houston we have a problem.  I will not lie when I say, it took EVERYTHING in me to control the loud laughter wellling within me.  I mean really, 2 year old, expressing frustration, funny.  BUT, I held it together and I said..."Maggie, that is NOT a word that is ok to use.  That is a garbage word, and you may not ever say that again."  To which she replied....


"Well Mommy, how come YOU can say what the hell?"

Really?  REALLY?  WHAT am I s'posed to say to that?  Well Maggie, that woud be because your Mommy is a heathen sinner and she's co-piloting the bus down to hell with your Daddy.  Or...well Maggie, JUST BECAUSE, I CAN!  No, what I attempted to say was..."I'm really sorry that I've said that word Maggie, and I won't be saying it anymore.  It's not a word that we should be using.  BUT, sometimes, grownups CAN say things that little kids can't."  Then I assured her once again that I would no longer say that, and that she also would no longer use such words.  And you want to know what is the most disturbing and embarrassing part of this situation?  She TRULY got those two words from me.  NOT her foul/potty mouthed father.  She spends 98% of her time with me, and he has for the most part worked to keep his swearing around her under control.  So, this is squarely MY fault.  Soooo humiliating!  My chastisement is complete, I am humbled.  Look out world, the use of flippin, fetchin, scriddly dee is making a comeback at the VP's!


I'm scared!


How does someone this "angelic" looking have SUCH a streak of naughty and sassy?  I ask you!  Have I mentioned that she's mean too?  OH, AND.....she called me stupid the other day.  Yeah, that did NOT go over well with Daddy.  She had some serious consequences for that.  But, WHERE did that come from?  We don't say that word around her ever.  OY!!!



Finally, just a quick note on the conversation at lunch today.  Brooklyn requested mac'n'cheese.  Somehow I over milked it and it was WAYYY to runny.  Seriously, who ruins freaking mac 'n cheese.  So, I decided to add some real cheese to thicken it up (super delish by the way) and whilst being "gourmet" I put in a dash of pepper.  I put the bowls down in front of the girls, went back to get Max's and I hear...

Brooklyn:  "Uhhh, what's in this?"
Me:  "Cheese"
Brooklyn:  "No, there's crap in here."
Me:  "EXCUSE me?"
Brooklyn:  "Well, what is this crap on here?"
Me:  "Pepper, and you will NOT speak to me like that again."
Brooklyn:  "I don't like pepper."
Me:  "Yes you do, now stop your whining."

And then she ate it all gone.  But for reals, I was caught completely off guard by the "crap" comment.  But, I'm sure she comes by that honestly, she has two punky much older brothers, they keep it "real" around her.

A pottyriphic day for sure!


Hell and highwater,
Allyson

20 comments:

Court and Julie said...

Aaah, good times. I personally enjoyed "because your Mommy is a heathen sinner and she's co-piloting the bus down to hell with your Daddy"

I should have used that on Delainee back when we had to expunge 'what the hell' from her vocabulary. And yes, like you, the 'garbage' words my kiddies say are ALL learned from me!


Can your bus just make a stop at my house and I can ride to hell with you?

Dana said...

LOL Okay seriously. I already knew the dang story. But when I got to the "co-piloting the bus..." I freaking busted a gut. Had to read the whole post to Jamyn(who had also already heard the story.) We chuckled together and then repeated loudly, "Hell and Highwater!" I'm such a loser sinner. I have a gaggle of teenager boys and they are MORTIFIED (and very condeming) every time I let even the slightest word slip. wha?? Not that I'm the least bit sad, but I thought teenage boys were all cussers. Not mine!!! They tell me that they leave all swearing to Jere. :-)

Steph said...

You crack me up. I had to read that out loud to Dennon and I was laughing so hard. Good luck with that one!

jen said...

Who would have guessed that darling angel is a sailor in disguise? Someday I'll have to tell you our Chicago story of the f word.
And by the way, how are the blog tweaks workin' for ya? See you've gotten a few holla's today!

The Coolest Allen Family said...

I have had many conversations with my kids about what mommy and daddy say is not ok for them. Mommy and daddy are very naughty. Don't be like mom and dad.

Also, I dedicated my facebook status to you today.

Lastly...my word verification today is obagge, which is kind of like dbag; which is also not ok for our kids to say. :)

Greg and Tammy said...

It really is horrible that we have to watch our behavior so close around the little ones, huh? You could be like my neighbor and just let the F-bomb fly every other word in front of all the little ones of the neighborhood. Thanks ghetto neighbor.

PS - Emma also worships Costco receipts. :)

Kirsten said...

What is it that makes kids the experts on Mac n cheese?? Whenever I babysit my sis-in-law makes them mac n'cheese for dinner so it's easy, but one day she was running late and hadn't been able to make it. Well I thought I could be nice and offer to make it to which I get this reply, "Aunt Kirsten, will it hurt your feelings if I said I don't like it when you make the macaroni?" I'm surprised by this and ask, "What is wrong with it?", "I dunno, it just doesn't taste very good." Haha, great.... In my mind I really wanted to say, "Listen little kid, you are going to eat it and shut up!" But I didn't, sigh...

DianD said...

Seriously funny! Sounds like you might have a few riders on your co-piloted bus! Good thing there are kids to help get us back on track so it won't actually get to that destination. :) Also, I can just hear Brooklyn and see the sneer on her lip as she asked about the "crap" in her food! Funny kids! Good for you for helping her see the light, too. :)

LanaBanana said...

One day Maggie will no longer be satisfied with the smiley face on the Costco receipt and will start demanding new and exciting artwork!! Dane seriously walks up to the dude at the door with the receipt impatiently waving in the man's face and says, "Sailboat." "Monkey." "Panda."

No "please". Nothing. He even looks kind of impatient and bothered when he asks. I always remind him that they can only do smiley faces, and that we always say 'please', but he reverts to his "I'm-better-than-you-now-draw-me-some-art,-PEASANT" behavior the next time!! AHHH!!!

Silky Smooth and the Night Rangers said...

Are you even licensed to drive that bus? I mean really?????? I have a few extra seats in my hand basket if anyone needs a ride.

BTW, I love the sign off...I think it's my favorite part of the entire entry.

Mel said...

I totally need to start watching my mouth around my kids. I have a very vivid memory of my dad making scrambled eggs with pepper in them. I thought it was crap too, and I didn't eat it. lol

KLZ said...

Over from Mommy of a Monster.

I genuinely say crap so much that it didn't even occur to me while reading this that a little kid had said it. I'm in trouble with my kids...

Lindsey said...

Oh my word, I don't even know what I would do if my sweet little girl picked up on mommy's dirty language. I've lucked out that my son (age 9) keeps it to himself, or at least away from me.

Grams said...

This made me laugh out loud and brought back memories of my now 30-year-old son dropping the big one as in "GD" as he walked along holding his dad's hand. He was 3-years-old at the time and I knew exactly where he learned it. My Dad swore like a sailor. But the source of his education didn't calm my very conservative Catholic husband one bit. He was so shocked he asked "What did you say?" So, of course, the toddler repeated it.

Lamonica said...

This was a really good blog post. I agree. You do have to be careful what you say around your kids.

Stopping by from SITS

http://mimirosesjourney.blogspot.com/

Daisy said...

How about a mom picking up language from her kid? I find myself saying "Oh, Poop!!" all the D--n time now, lol.

And as for having a tiny foodie in the house, I feel your pain. I get called on the carpet if I bring home the "wrong" salami. The only good salami is that expensive fresh cut Board's Head crap.

TornadoTwos said...

It's a mixed bag for me when my kids utter a potty-mouth word- half of me is shocked and upset at them, the other half wants to die of laughter.

Michelle said...

I was pretty good about not cursing when my kids were little but now that they are older swear words slip more often than I would like. I do always feel guilty afterwards, oops!

Jenn Erickson said...

It's why God made kids so darn cute for sure ~ the cutest ones seem always to be the sassiest (and smart too!).

Amazing what power that Costco receipt has over the little ones. My girls fight over them and are devastated when they get some humbug at the door that just draws the black line through the receipt.

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