Or just random letters that needed to be written,
by Yours Truly.
Dear Lane Bryant,
WE'RE FAT! Please sew accordingly. For example:
No sleeves + FAT arms = Hideous and foul! Or just...NOT for public consumption.
Fat arms me
Thank you for making more fat appropriate clothes. However, could you PLEASE make your shirts a touch longer, so my buttfront can be covered. Noone wants to see that either.
I HATE YOU! Thanks for ruining every outfit and sucking the life out of me!
Dear spin class,
Thanks for the PAIN in the you know whaty. I'll never be the same.
Dear wrinkles invading all around my eyes,
No thank you. I think you're looking for my Mom, please head that way. I'm FAR to young to be rendevouzing with you yet.
GO TO HELL! On second thought, since I'm already going there, you can stay away. Just man up and stop torturing me! You big jerk!
Dear Mary Kay,
My apologies for disparaging you and your eye makeup remover. My bad! My sensitive eyes now thank you for less irritation.
Dear adorable neighbor boy,
Please, for the love of all that is good and holy; STOP the never ending drum drills. I might pull my face off the next time you start.
Rat a tat tat,
I'm very sorry that you're over a year old and have been somewhat mistreated in your time. We love you oh so much. Please, I'm begging, on my knees, PLEASE keep working. I can't take the random turn offs, or the scarey power plug jiggle, or the fear of everything being eaten. We can't buy a new one, so we need you to love us back for awhile (like another year) longer.
Loving you with all my heart,
Mommy loves you immensely, but please, PLEASE stop hating on me with the tantrums and screaming. I just want to do your hair and get you dressed. I don't feel this is to much to ask.
Lovingly (and fearfully),
Thanks for being the sweetest boy ever. But, could you PLEASE stop falling on your face? People are gonna start talking, AND it's really gonna mess with your modeling career, which in turn messes with my future income. I thank you!
Dear enquiring minds,
HOT doctor is at Palo Verde Pediatrics and his name is Mike Pearlstein. Totally worth going to, I promise!
*****Post Edit***** Hot doc is married and in his mid 40's.
Dear Jenny D,
Thank you for your help, in put and comments on my blog! And thank you for all you do and who you are in life. I really love and appreciate you and your family. So thank you for fate that brought us together seven whole years ago.
Dear blog readers,
For the LOVE, will you PLEASE comment. If you're a stalker (which i totally love and welcome) please oh please, just say hello. Let me know you're here. If you're a regular reader, just comment occassionally. I try to be considerate and comment on yours as well. This plea is fully exempt to Jenny D who I can safely say has commented on every ONE of my blog posts. I love you all, I really do. I'm just having a selfish me moment.
Ok, I think I've said my peace! And I do feel a little bit better. With that said, there is some Idol to go and mock, some Biggest Loser to inspire and some Amazing Race to catch.
Tomes and toilets,