Wednesday, March 17, 2010

At A Loss

Hey world, I seriously don't know what to do.  I have apparently lost all ability to reason and or parent with Maggie, and I'm losing my mind a little bit.  Not gonna lie.  It's never a good thing when the Mommy is responding like a child to the child.  But, I REALLY can't take the CONSTANT battles, over the dumbest stuff EVER!  Currently we are:

1. Not allowed to touch her hair, EVER!  She goes into mass crying, head shaking, screaming fits.  UNLESS the good fairy has magically kissed her brow and she deems it OK to do it.  Then, she's calm as a cucumber, sweet as anything.

2. Not allowed to even MENTION putting shoes on.  She will respond with a scream "NO, I don't want ANYFING!"  She told me all shoes hurt her.  Except, again, when she's got her gaurd down, or th shoe fairy visited, or her mood is JUST right, she happily parades around in any number of shoes.

3. Not allowed to pick her clothes, because inevitably they "BUG" or they're "Squished" (super wierd thing with her underwear are squished. Don't know what it means, other than she can't POSSIBLY wear them).  So, there are only a few "suitable" items for wear.  If we wear anything else, it's only after massive screaming, crying, kicking fits.

4.  Not allowed to mention going to the potty.  She's gone through some wierd regression this last week.  She was a perfect pottier.  Never an issue, told us everytime she needed to go.  No accidents, etc.  But, starting Saturday night, she peed all over the floor for the babysitter, and has peed on the floor a couple more times now.  She REFUSES to sit on the toilet,  because she will "fall in."  UGH!!!

5.  She is suddenly soooo scared of all the "amimals in the hallway, or her room."  Yesterday, through wierd cries and sad faces, she told me she was sooo scared of.........the LAMP.  The one sitting right next to us, providing light so we weren' in the dark, which is what you SHOULD be afraid of...THE DARK!

6. Not allowed to offer her food.  She will yell.."NO!"  "Not Anyfing!"  BUT, if she asks first it's fine, or if you just put it on the table, she will come to it eventually like it's this just discovered treasure.

I'm just so at a loss.  WHAT is happening?  HOW do i deal with this?  Because honestly...trying to ever leave the house is such a burdonsome chore, I almost don't want to do it.  The battles are epic and exhausting.  Where has my calm, happy child gone?  Will she ever come back?  HOW do I stay calm and get the job done?

I'm not kidding people, I need HELP!!!!  I mean, a raggedy haired, shoeless girl is just NOT gonna cut it, not even at Wal-mart.

Throw downs and bad hair,



jen said...

My experience with stubborn children is more than most, I will admit. But there is no magical solution for stubborn. With Hyrum, I just tell him, "Okay, then I'm leaving you." And there was one time when Brad was home, I did leave him. Ever since, the threat is enough. Maybe leave her with undone hair, no shoes, no lunch, etc., one day when Julie or Jere are home, and use the threat that she's not ready, and so she can't come, and leave her. Then try it again a second time when they're around as well. Then, if you need to do it a second time you can follow through. Hopefully that will be enough to teach her.
The potty thing--go back to diapers. Then, when she's ready, do it again. But I got no magic for that one.
Sorry, friend!

Jere Van Patten said...

I say we put her back in the cage and leave her with her sippy and a pile of goldfish for a few days. That should do the trick.

Jason and Kate said...

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I agree with Jen. I say leave her at home one day. Go do something fun with Max and Brooklyn. She will be so sad she missed out on the fun. (And whoever is home should be practically invisible). :) Does she do this even with Brooklyn around?

LadyCarma said...

"This too shall pass!" This becomes your favorite motto. But it isn't easy in the trenches! My oldest girl was like that, more then the other four. And just like Jen suggested, I was able to leave her home when she was in her snip. When I got home she was sitting out on the curb, bare feet in the water, screaming her head off (for all the world to hear, I might add), and Steve said she had been there doing the screaming the entire 30 minutes I was at the grocery store with her brother. There were less episodes as she grew up, but those head strong first born children are challenging, no doubt about it!

Greg and Tammy said...

So I don't claim to know anything because I really don't. However, my girlfriend Laura (friend from BYU) has been taking a "Love and Logic" parenting course and she has been recapping her lessons on her blog. I have found them VERY helpful, even with my little 2-year-old. If you'd like to check out her blog, it seems like some of their techniques could maybe possibly kinda sorta help with your recent frustrations with Princess Maggie Cuteness. The blog is:

Dana said...

although I know nothing about the love and logic program, but I've only heard people really sing its praises. they all really love and swear by it. I say check everything out, listen to everyone and then try what you think will work best. The answers for every child (and they're all different) are out there. The quest of motherhood is finding the right way to help each of her children. You've got the love part down--Maggie's a lucky girl, and I'm POSITIVE you will all figure out the answers you need. Carma's right.....this to shall pass. (And then she'll be demanding you pay to have her hair done, buy her more shoes, and take her shopping at the mall!)

LanaBanana said...

Ha! I saw that Dana and my mom are wrong--it will never end!! :) The battles will change, of course, and she'll become more logical and tricky and sneakier in her ability to argue with you. sigh. :) But it's true that she has a great amount of people that love her to help her through. I'm with Jere...just send her to her cage every now and then. hehehe. :) So sorry. I really really struggled through the 2-year old daughter phase. Want to walk at the track sometime and talk?? I owe you a few of those!!

Wendy said...

Our stake president said once, "Be thankful for the strong willed children, it is actually a great blessing!" I wrote that on a piece of paper and read it 5 times fast when I am in dire need of a reminder!