Sunday, January 31, 2010

"The" Birthday 2010, where I turned 29 plus 8

As it turns out, my "big day" was pleasant enough. I got up at the A@@ crack of dawn and pulled myself together (and by pulled together I mean, make up from the night before still on, threw a flower in my hair, a dress on and went) and drove to Mt. Pointe to play for one of my students Regionals audition. I was early, her teacher was late, so I had to wait around awhile, sort of buggy. Anywho, she did great, I was proud. Came home, and as I walked in the door I was greeted by a chorus of Happy Birthday from Jere and the girls (Brooklyn spent the night) and they were busily coloring birthday cards for me. Maggie was very proud of her card, though "it was ruined" by Max. After some hugs and kisses I got in the shower and got ready for real. Well, after a brief visit by my Mommy, dropping off my b-day card, and some hanging around 'cause I HATE drying and doing my hair. Finally ready, fed the kids some lunch, visited with my sis Jenny, the newest Marathon runner I know. She did her first yesterday and she is a rock star in my book!! No matter that she can barely walk, the point is, she DID IT! Anyway, I needed to play for a couple more students in the afternoon and was running a titch behind. What with talking to Jenny, putting the kids down for naps, going to the bathroom, you know....stuff. But, I figured it was ok, because Regional auditions NEVER run on time. So, I was like 20 minutes late, which is bad, i'm fully aware. But again, I figure, they're usually at least a half hour behind, I should be ok. As I'm walking in, my student and her Mom were walking out, and I thought "oh good, they wer waiting for me." I said "so, are they so behind?" And the mom said, "nope, she's all done." I'm sorry...WHAT? I felt like such a complete LOSER! My girls teacher had to pinch hit becaus I super lamely was NOT THERE when I was s'posed to be. So embarrassing. So, moving on, I was now rushing off to a completely different school to play for one more student. I went from Highland to Desert Ridge, which thank goodness was semi close together. I got to the next school, and walked into the main area, only to get a really bad feeling. Where were all the squealy high school kids? Where were the signs pointing to auditions, where was ANYONE? I called my girl and said, "Uh, A, where are you?" She said Desert Ridge, only except she DIDN'T say Desert Ridge, she said DESERT VISTA!!!! I had heard her wrong and just made it Desert Ridge in my head. Yeah, Desert Vista was at least a good 40 minutes in the OTHER direction. SHAME SPIRAL! Now, I forced that student to find someone already at the school to just play for her. What kind of loser am I? OY! On the upside, she found someone and she totally got a 56 on her solo, so it's all good.

Moving on....left there and headed to Costco to get some gas. Jere requested some kind of chocolate treat, and I decided rather randomly to buy myself a birthday cake...and I'm not even a big fan of the birthday cake there. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jere has facebooked and texted to people inviting them to a birthday dinner at Joes BBQ for me and my Daddy. Soooooo.....

This is my Daddy-O Tony. I was born on his 30th birthday, which makes him a super hip 67 year old. I love sharing my birthday with him, I've always loved that. I think it's so cool, and so fun! We had a delicious and delightful dinner with family and many friends at Joes BBQ in Gilbert. It was the perfect place for us to go. Plenty of seating (reserved of course), yummy food and unpretentious. I just looked at this picture again. I love my Dad, isn't he cute? He's just so smart, and wise and giving and wonderful! There is no better person to share "my" day with!

This is the adorable Miz Lies'l Hill who completly shocked the crap out of me when she sauntered up the sidewalk. Ummm, she lives in Flagstaff, so imagine my surprise at seeing her. It was a treat to have her there, if only briefly.

Julie and Sabes, chatting it up in the FOREVER long line. We stood in line for about 45 minutes, whilst the rest of my savy family went to the take out line outside, and then just brought there food in. Yeah, whose the dummy here?

Those are our cute friends Adam and Sara Norberg (and don't miss Brenda waving to the side and her cute daugher Hayley). As it turns out, Sara is Sabes first cousin, WHO KNEW?

Yeah, don't know wha is happening with Julie here. hahahaha But, Brenda is cute. My picture taking of the evening was totally lame. I don't even have one pic of me and Jere, none of my sis Dixie and her family. Oh well.

Here is Jenny, the newly minted Marathoner. In pain, but still there to celebrate. That half face is Troy, he's sort of ridiculous. He hasn't run in almost 20 years, like nothing. About a month or so ago, he went out running with jenny, busted out 3 miles like nothing. The next week he did 8 miles, no biggie. Jenny said, "why don't you just do the half marathon while I do the full." And you know what, with a month of running under his belt, he did a freaking HALF MARATHON in an HOUR and 26 minutes. Some people! Ok, but for reals, congrats to these two, I only mock because I'm jealous!

My cute Mammy and Pappy. I'm laughing at his grey cardigan. When did he turn into Mr. Rogers, or my Grandpa? hee hee

Dana and Adam, so delighted to have them there! I love my family.

It was so fun, and so nice to have our neighbors Kat an Craig and not neighbors (but friends) Jeanie and Jason come along too. Seriously, I love that so many people could just get together at the last minute and make my day great. Even Gramma Peg was there, her first big outing in 4 months. WOW! And, she EVER so kindly gave me a fancy floor steamer, which I'm very excited to try out in the kitchen. Apparently, after you use it, you can eat off the floor. How comforting.

After dinner we came back to our house and cut up the cake. Would you look at that? How appropriate that I found the ONE cake at all of Costco that had music notes on it. Maggie was soooooo excited to have a piece of my "Birthday." I also loved that this one had the least offensive amount of frosting on it. Seriously nothing grosses me out more than those ENORMOUS, mountainous blobs of frosting that are "balloons" or "catapillars" or whatever on the cakes. Makes me barf a little. So yeah, perfect cake for me!

I made Brenda and her girls come over and eat cake, because well, the cake needed to be EATEN! Thankfully Kat came over and ate some too, though Craig turned it down, probably to maintain his dainty figure, hehehehe. Anyway, why do I look like a freakshow here? Don't know. But, maybe Brenda and I are just having a "boob-off" Whose are bigger. hahahahahahahaahahaha Perhaps only funny to her and me and Jere and whoever else was standing in the kitchen at the time. Good times.

And I leave you with a pic of the "true" princess of the evening. The Miss who refused to be in bed, 'cause there was a party going on. She was soo pleased with her cake, and to be a part of the action. I do love her!!!
Finally, thanks to all who came, all who shared, all who facebook loved, etc. It was a delightful day and I feel loved.
Candles and pulled pork,.
P.S. Andrea, I would LOVE to take you up on your birthday offer. I will even TOTALLY keep in on the down low from Ron. hehe Monday, Tuesday or Friday would probably work best for me. Call me!

Zoo Day And Misc.

As you may or may not recall, I have been less than enthusiastic about the zoo here and my sweaty experiences. However, Friday changed my feelings on the subject. I called up my friend Melissa, 'cause she has a membership and has offered to go anytime. I was definitely in need to get out of my house and my funk, and my kids CERTAINLY needed out. I figured it would be cool enough, as to not make me sweat, and good times could be had with Melissa and her girls. So we got up and ready, loaded up the car and headed out. As it turns out, Lana and Dixie were going at the same time, so we had a big happy bunch. I am warning you, there are LOTS of pics, but it should go fast.

This was a totally different experience because A) it was cool and nice out, and B) I went to parts of the zoo that I have literally NEVER been to before. Who knew that the entire far back left side of the zoo was all for kids and so GREAT!!!

Maggie and Miss O trying to get a good peek at the warthogs. To be perfectly honest, we saw very few animals this trip, but a lot of sculpture and play time.

How many kids can a wallaby pouch hold? Apparently quite a few. We were just missing 3 babies.

Maggie was terrified of this big elephant. I had to convince her that it was NOT a real elephant. Thus, I had to be in the pic to keep her safe. It really was a very cool and beautiful, GIANT elephant sculpture.

I'm sorry, but this was just too freaking funny and cute to pass up. We have some SCAREY lions amongst us!

Giant tortoises are truly huge, and a funny story is coming.

Miss scaredy of all animals pants went RIGHT to the stinky goat nd petted away. She loved it. This was our first experience at the petting zoo. I'm telling you, I had no idea what fun lands were hiding over in the nether regions of the zoo.

Max really enjoyed petting the stinky goat too. He just wanted to grab the fur and go. Poor Max, all he wanted was to run free, and was not very pleased at how much time he was confined to the stroller. Seriously, these kids have NO idea how great they have it, getting pushed around like royalty.

Maggie and Miss O getting their Farmer John on. Ok, so Maggie is 2 months older than O and apparently a YEAR taller. Ok, the next picture really deserved an entry of it's own. I offer you:

Tortoise Porn:

We're walking around, minding our own business when we come across this bit of naughtiness. I took video, but again, can NOT get it to work on here. But for reals people, it was worth the price of freaking funny. That giant man turtle was enjoying himself. Every time he would ummm, you know..."push" there would be this giant and low gutteral "moan", and he would drool profusely all down on the face of the poor little female. We were laughing so hard, because you know, we're immature like that, but also because the kids were wanting to know why he was on her. Melissa told them he was doing a piggy back ride, hehehe. When big guy was finished, it took him a good 4 minutes to un mount and try and get off, 'cause you know,they're huge and SLOOOOOOOW and awkward. Alls I'm saying, it ranks right up there with the time I went to the zoo and witnessed babboon porn at it's finest.
Anyway, it was so nice to be out in the fresh air, pushing a loaded stroller up and down hills, getting a little butt workout. I even ran with the kids and it was fab. The kids were well behaved and happy and a good time was had by all. Ok, so Maggie was OBSESSED with getting to go on the carousel the entire time. She saw it as we came in and then asked about it the entire time. So, of course, 'cause I'm a sucker and love my kid and had the miracle of 4 bucks cash, I took them on it on the way out. Did I mention she was soooooo excited? Hahaha
Does that face look excited? Once she picked out her "bird" and got on, she was a little unsure. But, she kept telling me (before it started moving) "I'm not scared Mom, this isn't scarey." And then it started moving, and she held on for DEAR life and had this look of shear terror the entire time.

Brooklyn on the other hand was in pure Heaven, all smiles and lollipops that one. She's moments away from busting out her best Miss America wave and greeting her adoring public. Seriously, that girls is hoot.

All in all a great day. Thanks so much Melissa and girls, and Dixie and Lana. Now, for the MISC. part.....Auntie Julie got confused and thought a good purchase uld be dip sticks....Ummmm, messy messy much? However, the girls love them, even if I don't.

Green mouth is such a HOT look, don't ya think? The girls would take turns switching their dips back and forth. Actually they'd switch dip stick, sugar et al. back and forth, thinking they were so funny and so clever.

As you know...I mentioned my cute little "cross dresser" loving my shoes. Well, he also LURVES the girls flowers. He INSISTS on putting them in his non existant hair whenever he finds one laying around. Jere is so bothered by this, but seriously, it's so cute. And what do you expect, he's surrounded by his "sisters", he sees them in their pretties, and he just thinks and knows that flowers go in the hair.

My sweet "Maxine" at his finest. Doesn't he just rock that flower? Tee hee!!
Lions and Tigers and Pansies oh MY,

Annnnnnd, I'm TOTALLY retarded, because when I just checked to see if I had any comments, I noticed that this little picture was floating at the bottom and completely unaccounted for. OOPSY! I just thought it was a funny little moment. I made toast, and decided to be a kind Mom and actually make some for them too, since I wasn't in the mood to be followed around with a chorus of "bite, bite, biiiiiite, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite, BITE, I wanna bite." etc. So, I handed them each their piece of toast and then turned around. When I looked again, there they were in a cute little line of toast eaters. That's all, that's why the pic. I know, I'm tard.

Friday, January 29, 2010's that time

Yeah, so tomorrow is my big fat birthday. I won't lie, I'm only slightly (read, A LOT) sad that last year on this very day, at this very time, I was in my van, with people I love and adore, toodling towards this place.

There was excitement and anticipation for this big day. I actually looked forward to my birthday. My entire family, sans one brother were there, plus several good friends. We stayed in a great little hotel for CHEAP thanks to Amy, and..

I got into the park for free, (and I was apparently still sporting newborn boobs and face chub) 'cause it was MY BIRTHDAY! It was so fun! So, so fun! Le Sigh, not this year. Nope, this year, I think the best I can muster is this:

A carousel ride with my sweet little bubbs.
Meh, birthdays are overrated anyway. Besides, I'm turning the unglamorous 37 anyway. SERIOUSLY, how can I be so old?
Birthday blahs,

Cross dress and Naptime Naughties

Max has recently discovered a whole spate of new things, not the least of which is climbing the kitchen chairs to stand on top of the table (which Maggie didn't discover or was unable to do (midget legs) until at least after she was 2) and play with the wooden apples, talking lots, his favorite being "hold me, HOLD ME", "BIIIITE", "baby", "apple", "Sissy", "See you", etc. AND wearing mommies shoes.

He looooves clomping around the house in these shoes and is actually prety darn good at keeping his balance with them. He sure is cute that boy of mine.

In other news...the sleep wackiness has continued on and off, between Max refusing to go to bed until nearly 11:00 one night, Maggie refusing naps here and there, wake ups at random times, it's just never a dull moment. So, the other day was a Maggie refusing to nap kind of day and well, sorry folks, but not napping is just NOT an option. Mama done needs her time, and you WILL nap dammit!! So, after a few healthy skirmishes between the Magger and I, battling between napping in my room or Aunti Julies room, or my room, or julies, screamin, bawling, etc. I finally just locked her in Julies room and let her scream, and kick at the door, and cry and yell at me and tell me "shame on you Mommy", etc. That went on for at least an hour and finally there was quiet. I assumed she had finally given in and fallen asleep. I ASS-umed wrong! Because, after a quiet hour, I was mid lesson when Jere came walking in holding Maggies hand, and this is what I was greeted with.

He said to me "don't laugh" under his breath. And I won't lie, it was HARD not to laugh. That would be one naughty, naughty little girl, covered from face to belly in her Auntie Julies makeup. She had been quietly and sneakily helping herself to Julies full bounty of makeup wonders. And MAN did she know she was wrong. Her "remorse" was awesome!

She had also cleverly decorated the closet door with a highlighter. Isn't it lovely?

This is her feeling really bad as her Daddy is scolding her for her actions.

Just another shot of Jere having a talking to with her. Isn't her head down and body posture hysterical? She KNOWS she is in big trouble. In fact, she still reminds me of it, how she got into Auntie Julies make up and colored the door and that "was bad".
The lesson to be learned here is, NEVER trust a screaming two year old to really have gone to bed. ALWAYS check on them, because sometimes, they're just possessed.
High heels and shadow,

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Everyone should have a Julie

Hey my bloggidy friends...just wanted to formally introduce you all to my sis. in law Julie. World...Julie,

Look at that face, what's not to love?
You may be asking yourselves, what brings such introductions on, and why? Well, I'll tell you why. See Julie,she's cute, she's a fun gal, and really the super dee dupery nicest girl EVER! However, she has been slightly cursed in her life. She has the dubious and unfortunate birthdate of December 25th. Yeah, Christmas day, and frankly, it sucketh. She's doomed to a lifetime of basically NO birthdays. No recognition, no birthdy cakes, no parties, just a passing, "oh yeah, and happy birthday too." This can 'cause a little pain in the ol' heartaroo.
As a sidenote and perhaps a public service announcement to I've pondered this injustice I've come up with just a couple simple rules to avoid such a prediciment. Here they are...are you ready?
1. Do NOT have ANY sexual relations in the month of February. Simple as that really. Now, I can see how that pesky Valentines Day might throw a wrench into those plans, as SOME people think it's all romantical and want to get it on. So, IF avoidance isn't possible, and you find yourself "in the family way" with a due date anywhere on or around Christmas...
2. I say, just clamp those legs together, put mind over matter and REFUSE to allow said baby to come. Or, isn't there some anti labor drug that can be administered. I mean really, it simply should NOT be allowed to have a baby on Christmas freaking day. The lifetime of birthday tragedy is too much to bare. Just my 2 cents worth on that. But, back to Julie...
She has literally never had a birthday party in her life. She certainl couldn't have her Mom bring cupakes into school to celebrate, as they were on BREAK. She's never had a birthday cake, her "birthday" presents were usually presented a few hours after all the Christmas joy, but still wrapped in Christmas paper. Can you see the picture I'm painting?
So anyway, tonight, a few of us gathered to "celebrate" Julies birthday almost a perfect month late. We went to her favorite resteraunt, Los Dos Molinos in PHOENIX, NOT the one in Mesa, in case you're wondering. There menu is spicy, spicier and SUPER spicy, WOW!
Don't worry, Eric wasn't the ONLY boy there, my bro. in law Troy kindly took the pic. We stood outside for like maybe an eternity in the freezing cold waiting to be seated. There is NO inside place to wait, and they rudely did not turn on the heaters outside. So it was chilly. But, we were able to enjoy good conversation, walks down memory lane and some chuckles to boot.

Just an obligatory shot of me with a dash of Jenny. It's my blog, so I get to do that. I'm totally sporting my "blue steel, or blue thunder" pose, pretty hawt huh? I also had to put it in, because my face doesnt look fat, which is good, since I'm sure I've gained like eleventy hundred pounds in the last month. But, that's niether here nor there. This is about julie right?

Just trying to point out how LARGE this table was that we sat at. So large in fact, we needed a megaphone to converse across it. There was no ability to "pass" anything, but merely scoot it about. But, it was a nice, quiet, private room that we were in, and we did enjoy ourselves in the end. All things considered. Do note Jody there on the left side, all posed with her hand to her face. She's my sis in law and the new face, no wait, profile of Skymall. So, if you see a smiling profile of a chick on skymall, that's her. She's becoming a working model and it shows in every pic, 'cause she's such a poser. I love it!
But, to wrap it up, as my blog title states..."EVERYONE should have a Julie." I personally am so grateful to have her in my life. She truly is one of the most selfless, kind and giving people I know. She lives with us and I truly don't know how I'd do it without her. We sort of have this joke that she's MY wife, 'cause she's ever so helpful. It's just such a relief to know that when she's around, and I'm teaching, or busy that my kids are taken care of in every way. She loves them like her own, and they love her. I know that she would give me the shirt off her back, and well, she'd give about anyone the shirt off her back, 'cause she's just that way. I appreciate her thoughtfulness, her patience and her goofiness. Thank you Julie for being a friend, for caring so fully, for generally always being positive, and for making my life just a little bit easier. I'm so grateful to have her here. Everyone should have a Julie.
Happy happy Birthday Julie, December 25th, January 25th, are special and you do deserve to be celebrated.
Still no cake though. D'oh. Guess I'll try and whip one up tomorrow.
And finally, we need to find her a manz. I'm just sayin, let's all be on the lookout.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I seem to have misplaced my MOJO

So, I don't know what the deal is, but I seem to have misplaced my MOJO somewhere. Anymore, I'm doing good to get out of the house once a week to go grocery shopping or put gas in the car. I don't take the kids to the park, or out to play. I'm doing a cursery job at best on the house cleaning. I mean, it's picked up and vacuumed all the time, but the dusting...not so much. Bathrooms, not every week. Floor mopping, not like I should. I don't know why either, because I can honestly say I'm not sitting around on my ever growing arse and watching TV or blogging all day. In fact, there are some days that I literally do not sit down once between getting up with the kids at 6:30 and their nap time at 2:00. I always seem to be doing "something" but WHAT is it? Why is it that last year at this time I seemed to be doing so much more. We went to the park, we went shopping, we got pictures taken, I blogged more,and that was all with a newborn? I'm perplexed here. I have actually gone a day without showering, or getting dressed. Now, for some of you, this might be normal. But for moi, NEVER in my history have I done that. I ALWAYS shower and get ready, even if I never leave the house...until recently that is. I go to the store with no make up and in PJ's even. I'm beginning to worry about myself here. WHAT is happening? Where oh where has my gumption gone?

As I ponder on it, I think the most important difference is this....last year I was beginning my training for the triatholon. I was up every morning at 5:30 and exercising. I was showered and ready usually by 8:00 a.m. These days, I haven't worked out in weeks, I get up with the kids between 6:30 and 7:00 and putter around, cleaning, checking blogs, feeding them breakfast until around 9:00. Only when Max naps do I head for the shower. So, my day is shot, because by the time I'm ready, he wakes up and it's nearl lunch time. Make lunch, feed them, then it's time to take Brooklyn to school, or run to a store andthen it's nap time again. Bottom line, I MISS WORKING OUT! I've learned that I am a person that MUST have a structured environment to do it in. I NEED a gym, I NEED machines and classes and people. I feel so gross,and at least while I was working out regularly, I could eat a dozen cookies and not gain weight (tragically, only a slight exageration). Not so much now. I MISS Dixie working out with me everyday on our Tri schedule. I miss the weekly challenges of our Tri group. It was fun, it was something to work towards. And I just miss feeling good. Who knew that I would ever be one to miss exercising, but I do. I don't know how, but I MUST figure out a way to go back to a gym and get on a schedule once again. I think my sanity, as well as my butt is counting on it. And then perhaps, my blogging will improve as well. In case you don't believe me, I offer up THIS THIS THIS: and THIS: http://www.jereandallyson.blogspot/2009/04/i-am.htmlas proof that I was funnier AND more effectively using my time a year ago. (highly recommended reading for any newcomers this year, but fun for old timers as well).

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bed, where perhaps I'll be able to find some kind of MOJO, and then I'll ponder the merits of exercise some more!

Heavy Hips and bubble butts,


My Little Pig Pen

Let it be known, for all posterities sake....I am really, really, REALLY in love with my little Maximus. He just gets freaking cuter every day, and he melts my heart with his giggles and big blue eyes. But MAN can that kid make messes. He loves, nay, he LURVES to be outside. NOTHING makes him happier than being outside. If he even senses a door is open, he runs with all his might for it. 'Tis never safe around here, I am a chasin that boy all the time. He also really, really loves water. Water from any source, it's all good, he just likes it. He will push the handle on the water cooler endlessly, until it's running all over the floor. He loves to play in the bath, lick water off the floor, drink out of Moms water bottle, dump it, splash in it, you name it. But one of his FAVORITE things to do is, play in the dog water. When the kids ever go in the backyard, he beelines for that water. So, one day a couple of weeks ago, all the kids were out playing, and Max was having the grandest of times. I was puttering around the house, cleaning, whatever. All I cared was they were all safe in the backyard and Max was happy. Imagine my surprise and dismay when THIS greeted me:

"Oh hey Mom, you talkin to me?" Seriously, note the one sockless/shoeless side. Soaking from top to bottom. I'm pretty sure he must have dumped the water and then rolled around in it on the sidewalk and grass for a goodly amount of time.

My favorite part is totally the beaver teeth and the "hot" stash he's sporting. Ah man, how can you not love a face like that. hehehe I think it's safe to say, whilst moustaches in general are just sort of creepy and ugly, this kid is NEVER meant to have one. Draws too much attention to those giant chiclets he calls teeth.

But, I leave you with this little come hither smile. He's nothing if not a happy kiddo, especially if he gets to mud wrestle the dog.

Dirt stash and dog lips,


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It Flowed Like Unto A River

For posterities sake, I must write down how this "saga" has continued. I'm sure someday I'll look back on this gross week and chuckle, perhaps even guffaw at the grossness and ridiculousness of it all. However, in the throws of extra washings of butts and laundry, cleanups, etc. it's not so much the chuckle fest one might expect. So, since it's MY Mommy blog, I'm gonna write about it. Continue reading if you choose, otherwise, tra la la, skip on over to someone elses more entertaining tome.

When one decides to take on Motherhood, even though they may have heard stories of the yucky just don't really get it. You don't REALLY believe that there are poop explosions, or barf like volcanos, or snot clean up that is worthy of a spot in Ripley's. How could this cute, cuddly, sweet little thing cause so much drama, so much work, or EVER be so gross. And, as I've stated before, up until this point, I have been fairly lucky on all accounts. Well, Max had a constant runny nose and disgusting goopy eye from birth until 6 months, and both kids were spit uppers, with Maggie taking some sort of world record for constant spew. But, never barfy, never overly poopy. Until this blessed week. As stated in the previous post, it all began with the infamous carseat puke (which Tammi, amen to the need of a doctorate in patience to EVER put that thing back together right, UGH!) And now, the rest of the story:

All seemed ok for most of the rest of that afternoon. Brooklyn never did grace the "throne" with her presence. Maggie seemed happy and Max's nose, well that was just it's own story. But, at some point, before naps Maggie began complaining of her tummy, and wanting to "spit". And when i say spit, I mean, literally, spit, like spittle, not barf. However, I had the foresight enough to get her a little bucket. After a couple of false starts, she did eventually barf up her lunch. All in all, not so horrible. Maggie also at this point requested a diaper. Hmmm, not a good sign, clearly she knew all was not as it should be in belly world. All were put down for naps, and there was peace in the land. Well, that night the good times began, and it hasn't stopped since. I was awakened by Maggie in my room informing me that "her bum bum hurt" and sure enough, she'd done a touch of "the rhea". That was at 1:30 a.m., Max woke up at 2 needing some comfort, again at 3 a.m. Max was awake, and then Maggie was up at 4:00 yelling she'd pooped. Now, this was sleep depriving for sure, but luckily it was contained poops. Then that morning, after eating a little toast, because I didn't trust her, and she was complaining about her tummy, she managed to walk into the kitchen and barf all over her blanket, her feet and the kitchen floor. Special, to be sure. But, amazingly, not nearly as traumatic and "gross" as I always anticipated such things. So, we got her cleaned up and she spent the rest of the day just laying on either Jere or I. In fact, cutest thing ever......I couldn't figure out where she had gone, it was very quiet on her end, and on Jeres. Finally, I yelled out to Jere, "where is Maggie?" And from the bathroom he whisper yells, "she's asleep." I didn't quite understand what this meant, until awhile later I actually went into the bathroom. There, curled up in Jeres arms, while he was literally "on the pot" was Maggie, dead asleep. He was just trying to do his business, and she came in and said he wanted to hold him. Literally seconds after he picked her up, she fell asleep. So, he was stuck there until I found him and could move her. I WISH I could have taken a picture, it was truly the cutest thing ever! But, I digress.

So, rest of day, wiping fountains of snot off of Max's face. He's soooo sweet about it. He LETS me wipe it off, and will even come to me when I ask him to let me wipe it. Snot, check, holding Maggie, check. At about 6:00 Maggie FILLED her diaper with a delightful treat, which was a real pre-cursor to the "real fun" that began at 4:00 THIS morning. I'd already been in at 2:00 with Max, comforting him back to sleep, and getting Maggies sippy for her. However, at 4:00 I sort of heard Maggie calling Mom. But, it wasn't until Julie peeked her head in our door (she was leaving for work) and said "she pooped the bed" that I was at attention. Really? Pooped THE BED? (Have I mentioned what an absolutey pain in the BUTT it is to change the sheets on either of their beds? And now TWICE in one week. SERIOUSLY!) I walked into a wall of smell that was nothing short of UnGodly. There she stood, telling me she had diarreaha, "would you change me please?" Somehow, in my sleep deprived stooper, I was "smart" enough to lay her in the bathtub to remove said diaper. It was all down her pj's and legs. And THANK GOODNESS I did that, because it was literally liquid. I mean as in pouring out like a pitcher of water. SO SICK!! Poor girl. So, we got that taken care of, the tub cleaned out and Maggie bathed, new jammies on and back to bed. She slept the rest of the "night" with us. Max started yelling Mommy at about 6:00, but he wasn't really crying, and I wasn't really rushing in. After awhile it turned into happy play babbling, so I left him alone. When I finally went in there at about 7:20, he greeted me with a huge "HI!" but that smell was soooooo strong. Sure enough, the poor baby had his own bout of "rhea" all down his legs too. So, got him all cleaned up and changed, sheets off both beds, in the washer and here we are. Both of them are so starved, they pretty much ate a sleeve of crackers. I HOPE it doesn't shoot right through them. I'm just wondering how much longer this will go on. 'Cause frankly, I'm ready for the river to run DRY!

Looks like my kids will get their first ever total jammie day. Wish I could take a jammie day, but I do have students later.

Ralphs and Rhea,


Monday, January 11, 2010

I Shoulda Known

There it was...a little voice calling out..."Mommy, Mommmmeeee I peed in my panties. Mommmmmmeeeeee I peed my panties in the bed. Can you help me?" It was 2 a.m., my REM was irrevocably interrupted. Oh BUGGER! So, I dragged myself up and out of bed, pulled her carefully out of bed, begging her to BE QUIET so she didn't wake up her brother. We got off her wet jammies and panties, put on a diaper and I broke my own rule and brought her to bed with me. I was NOT about to attempt bed changing on a freaking day bed at 2 a.m. Besides, I tragically only own one pair of sheets for her bed. Ooops! You may be wondering why in the world she was in panties for bedtime, as she's only been in the potty trained world for like 5 minutes. Well, if you have not had the "pleasure" of really, REALLY knowing and iteracting with Maggie, then you don't realize that I have a very, very, VERY, VERY stubborn child. She is literally offended when we suggest a diaper to her anymore. Her immediate reaction is.."NO, only panties." So, after I'd suggested, suggested, begged, TOLD her she needed a diaper for bedtime because it was a long night, and she indignantly told me NO that only panties would do, I gave in. I decided to "trust" her, OR just prove my point and maybe she'd learn from it. Hence the urinary wake up call of 2 a.m. So, that's how my day was gonna be, and I should have just taken that cue and stayed in bed. But NO, I dained to try and be productive.

Up with the kids now, Maggie is extra whiney, Max is still pouring snot, a little warm and clingy. Brooklyn showed up and was complaining that her tummy really hurt. The girls were at eachothers throats from the moment they saw eachother, like screechy alley cats. OY! Somehow we got through breakfast, a poopy diaper and some Little Einsteins. Put Max down for his nap and got into the shower, 'cause dangit we were gonna go somewhere, get something done. Meanwhile, Brooklyn has a bout of the poops and calls for me to help her out. Normally I'm not so bothered by poop, wiping, etc but for some reason this morning, I was holding back the barf. I, of the never nausius, never barf club was feeling the urge. I SHOULD have taken THAT as a sign that something was off. But no, I heeded not the warning. So, after MUCH ridiculousness we got loaded in the car and headed out to Costco, I was on a mission.

The entire car ride there Brooklyn was writhing in the back seat, moaning and crying about how her tummy was hurting. I was a little nervous, but figured we'd make it. I kept telling her to hang on, as soon as we got there we'd go potty. Max was quietly sitting in his seat, I thought things were under control. But alas, NO! Literally, just as I turned into "the Costco" Maggie let out a whimper and said "I spit". I said "you spit?" "No I can't spit." Which was followed by a loud gushing sound, the sound of vomit projecting out and about my "non sick" child. Yep, Maggie had just barfed all over herself and carseat. And my poor girl had NO IDEA what was happening. This is literally only the second time she has ever barfed. She just kept saying, "Oh, oh, it's in my nose. Oh no, it on my necklace, it on my glasses." "Mommy why did that happen?" Needless to say, I immediatly turned around and headed home, Costco would have to wait for another day. The entire drive home Brooklyn sounded like she was gonna die, crying for her mommy, complaining about her tummy. Maggie was grossing out in her mess and Max just happily jabbered. Seriously, what a mess. And, because I am the meanest Mommy EVER, I totally pulled out the camera (YES, it DOES stay in my purse at all times) and took a couple of pics before I got her out of the car.

Her shirt was pretty much completely covered, the necklace had it everywhere, and her pants were gonners too. The carseat, SICK!!! I took it out, hosed it down, took the cover off and threw it in the washer. I'm not complaining, really I'm not. I mean, to think that this is only the second time my kid has barfed ever, and I've NEVER had to deal with poo blowout diapers ever, I'm lucky. But for real, no one should EVER have to deal with human waste in any form, it's just gross.

The good news is, all seem to have recovered. Brooklyn stopped the crying and whining as soon as we opened up Maggies new baby doll (gift from gramma), Maggie felt better after a bath (thank you very much Auntie Tracie) and Max felt better after I held him and loved him and fed him. All are down for naps now, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there are no repeat moments later this afternoon.

But, I SHOULDA KNOWN it wasn't gonna be my day when a little voice woke me up at 2 a.m.

Pukes and poops,


Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sabbath Confessions

So, it's Sunday, it's time for me to be in church, and instead, I'm sitting on my couch, looking pretty much like this (except I got my hair done yesterday, so it's color fresh). (Do TRY not to be too frightened by my extreme morning hotness, who knows why I took this pic one morning while the kids were eating breakfast? I'm just wierd like that)

It seems my little bubbs has a never ending faucet of snot pouring out of his shnozzle, AND his little eye is all green and goobery. Therefore, I felt it best to probably keep him home. Wasn't that so responsible of me? Not gonna lie, it was disappointing a bit, because c'mon, my hair is fresh and new. Let's face it, when you have "red" hair, it fades like a mo-fo and FAST! But alas, sick kid, me responsible, here I am. It was the STRANGEST feeling to send Jere and Maggie off to church as Max and i waved goodbye. I mean really, I'm pretty sure I can say, that has NEVER happened in the history of our marriage, me at home, Jere going to church alone. Just another testament to his love for this ward, plus he's teaching Sunday School AND Elders Quorum today...sheesh!

So, what does one do when church doesn't start until 1:00 and the kids are awake at 6:30? So far today I have done:

3 loads of laundry

cleaned the kids room and the family room

unloaded and loaded the dishwasher

hand washed another load of dishes

swept and mopped the floor

watched Super Why with Maggie

checked blogs, facebook, etc.

So add to this that I am now NOT at church, nor did I get ready, boredom! But don't worry, I have a plan...

Max is asleep, as is Maggie, since Jere has returned with her, due to the fact that she kept telling him she needed to go potty, but then wouldn't go once on the toilet. Yeppers, the girl is in big girl panties, doing pretty well (sans the poo incident at Dixies yesterday). Anyway, children sleeping, Jer going back to church, I am going to...........soak in the tub....And, AND...............................

shave my legs! No fears peeps, it's only been about 2 months. Sick, I know! But, two things....I wear long pants every day AND I don't grow that much hair. Nuff said.

Let's see, what else can I confess...

I have severe guilt because I am sucking at my calling.

I am not a fan of said calling.

I have an unruly, tired 1 year old that makes doing that calling less effective

The "Calling "is Relief Society Chorister.

I SUCK at leading music of any kind. No really, S-U-C-K! I'm rhythmically challenged.

I miss many weeks, because Max is needing a nap, or sick, or I need to go somewhere else or whatever.

Don't suggest Jere take him, 1) Jere is teaching, and or can't handle him, and don't suggest someone else take him because Max is a SERIOUS Mamas boy that FREAKS out when others try to hold him. SUPER annoying!

Pretty sure the R.S. Pres. is severely disappointed, which makes me sad, 'cause I love her so.

I NEVER go to Sunday School, EVER!

Can't make myself do it. We're total hall hangers, where we chat and play with our friends.

I find it tedious and boring.

A LOT of people don't go to Sunday School.

I miss seeing my peeps at church.

I haven't don't my visiting teaching since I moved in here.

I feel bad about this. BUT, I DID take my ladies Christmas gifts and a highlighted copy of the lesson. That counts for something, right?

I SWEAR to actually do my Visiting Teaching starting this month!

I LOVE my visiting teachers and actually don't mind that they come see me.

Alright, with that said...I've lifted a small burden from my chest and now I can go take care of bidness.

Hairy legs and reverence,


Saturday, January 9, 2010

A New Years Hello

Well my prettys, there has been sufficient response to my new background ( hi Heather, thanks for de-lurking and commenting), so you've earned a chance to see our New Years card and letter. Hahahahaha, aren't you sooooo excited? No really, we just have so many that we love that we couldn't send one out to everyone. So, in case any of you are interested, here is our Happy New Years.


Since we here at the Van Patten house don’t ever like to do anything the “normal” way, we figured a New Years letter was the way to go. This year has been one of MANY changes, some good, some bad, but mostly for the better. And now, what you’ve all been waiting for….the rundown:

JERE: Changed from super squishy to super HOT with successful gastric bypass surgery and the loss of 150 lbs.; Left his job at Univ. of Phoenix to attend ASU full time in pursuit of his degree in theatre (you’ve never met a more dedicated and crazed ASU fanatic); discovered football for the first time and has taken to watching it like a “real man”; made hundreds of new friends, oh wait, there is no change there.
ALLYSON: Began the year with a rockin birthday at Disneyland turning the OLD feeling 36; Changed from sedentary pregnant and newborn baby Mom to a “rockstar” athlete completing her first triathlon and LOVED it (yes, you CAN be chubby and still do it); stopped teaching Relief Society for the first time in 5 years; changed from strictly voice teacher to offering piano lessons as well; but mostly changed from Mother of babies to mother of toddlers…Big difference people, BIG!
MAGGIE: Changed from my sweet little girl to my sassy, SASSY girl. She likes to tell ME what to do and how to do it. She has a vast vocabulary and knows how to use it. She loves all things girly, including shoes, purses, princesses, pink, make up, lipstick, earrings, lipstick, makeup, shoes, you get the picture. She also LOVES to sing and does so at an unholy decibel level. We sure love her!
MAX: Changed from a quiet little blob of a baby to a Tasmanian Devil of a toddler. He LOVES to climb, explore, bang, throw, tease, play games. He’s generally the happiest little guy with twinkly eyes and a ready giggle, though he’s a certifiable Mama’s boy; so sometimes a lot of tears. He’s talking quite a bit with a good little vocabulary of words, including Santa, thank you, Gramma and others. He LOVES to eat, and has proved that by being only 2 lbs.lighter than his big sister, and only a couple inches shorter. He’ll pass her soon. He loves to give kisses and is rather skilled at it. We can’t imagine life without this little angel.
Of course our BIGGEST change of all…we MOVED into a WONDERFUL house and an even more wonderful neighborhood. We’ve never been happier with a decision. We’re so grateful for the happiness this transition has brought us, even with the stressors of employment and school. We are so grateful for good friends, wonderful family and for the Gospel of Jesus Christ to help us through all these changes.
May the new year bring you all much happiness as you navigate each new “Change” that comes your way.
Much love,
Jere, Allyson, Maggie and Max
Happy days and comment love,
P.S. A VERY Happy Anniversary to my parentals! I believe this is 46 years of wedded bliss. Holy crap that's a long time. We're sure thankful you two fell in love and got married! Thanks for being the best parents EVER!

Friday, January 8, 2010

It's a New day, a New me... may or may NOT have noticed...but I've gone all banoodles and got meself a WHOLE new background, faunt, colors, pics, everything. And, I did it all by myself. Aren't you proud? Well I am, this is big doins in these parts. All I'm saying is, YOU BETTER tell me what you think. I spent a whole 1/2 hour doing it dammit, and I want responses. Ok fine, it was more like 45 minutes, I'm just sayin. But for reallys, WHAT do you think? Likey? No likey? Stupid? Fabulous? Shoot, I'm just so proud to have a picture in my header, I feel so 2009 now. hehehe

Backgrounds and back pats (get it?)


Thursday, January 7, 2010


It's 6:50 a.m., I've finally dragged myself out of bed, after being kicked and beaten by a busy Max for far too long. I'm in the "loo" and Maggie comes in. Max is babbling and apparently tried to hand Maggie something, because this is what I heard (in a VERY sweet voice I might add):

"No thanks Maxi, I gave my nummy to a new baby."

Glory be, all is well is Zion. My sweet girl is OK. Actually, she has been going to sleep just fine, no tears at all for the last 4 days. She will mention occassionally that Santa has her nummy, or she gave it to a new baby, but she isn't asking for it. I'm not gonna lie, it made my heart jump and sing when I heard her sweetly turn down her brothers offer this morning. Hooray for kids and their resiliance.

Now, for another topic all together. What to do, what to do? We try VERY hard to stick to our rule that Maggie can not sleep in bed with us. She tries a lot. She'll wake up middle of the night, or very early in the morning and ask to come to bed with us. We tell her no, and that her options are to go back to her own bed, or on the couch (sometimes Auntie Julies bed if she's gone to work already). She generally chooses the couch, and a lot of times goes back to sleep, or just hangs out there for awhile. However, here is the confuses her because sometimes Max is asleep in bed with us. But, my reason is this. If he wakes up bawling and screaming, and I can't get him to go back to sleep right away in his crib, I worry about him waking her up. So, I'll just scoop him up and bring him in the bed and get him to fall asleep. Sometimes he'll fall soundly asleep and stay that way for an hour or so. Sometimes, depending on what time it is I've brought him to bed, I'll put him back in his bed. The thing is, I can't really put him on the couch, or reason with him that he has a choice, etc. So, I feel bad that she's confused, but I don't really know what else to do. Can you feel my pain here?

And finally....funny story. I happened to look at my e-mail (I'm notoriously bad at checking actual e-mail) and noticed there was a comment an anonymous had made YESTERDAY on a post from AUGUST! So, I read it with interest. This person (hi, love lerkers, love your comments) said to me essentially that my posts continue to get better and essentially weren't as interesting before. It cracked me up because 1) they were commenting on a post that was literally pictures of Max crawling and not interesting at all. And 2) I have TOTALLY been bemoaning to myself lately how UNINTERESTING my posts have become. I was looking at my posts from last January and thought, holy crap, I USED to be funnier, I USED to actually do stuff. What has happened to me? How is it that I seemed to be more productive and get more done in a day when I had a newborn and 2 toddlers? Anymore, all I seem to be able to do is keep the house picked up and occassionally make dinner. Anyway, thought it was funny that someone thought I was better, when all I thought was how lame I was. So, to anonymous and anyone else, I totally invite you to check out last January, there were some beauts of entries in that month. If I were cooler and knew how to link directly to a post I would. But alas, I'm not that cool!

Alrighty, it's 7:30, haven't done any exercise, need to face this day! The girls are begging for make up and dress ups and Max is crying about something.

Early risers and wasted days,


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Anatomy of a Family Picture

WARNING: There are A LOT of pictures on this post (and I left literally over a 100 OUT), so buckle your seatbelts and hang on.

So, it's that time of year; you know the time, THAT time, picture time. Get cutesy pics, print them on cards and wish people Merry Christmas. Ok fine, that was last month, but we here at the VP house don't do anything in a timely manner. So, we opted for a New Years greeting. Jere was QUITE excited to go and get some "real" pics taken. The only other formal family pic we have is when Maggie was 5 months old. Poor Max has been woefully under-represented on our walls. Anyway, we decided last Friday was the day. We picked our colors, found our clothes and called up my daddy-o to pull out his trusy camera and shoot away. How hard could this be right? I mean, look pretty (and I would like to take this moment to thank the hair gods for smiling upon me this day. No really, THANK YOU! And also, thank you for blessing Maggie with her Daddys hair..amen), smile for the camera and wa-la, you've got family pics. Well all I'm sayin is, WHATEVER! Whoever thought taking pics with toddlers was a good idea, EVER, is just retarded! For those "one" perfect shots that you get in the mail, there are 100's of nightmare moments...I am telling you now, for this picture to turn out:

You had to have a WHOLE bunch of these (imagine an arrow pointing down.)

Really? Could you PLEASE just look up? And what is happening with my eyes?

Really all Max wanted to do was play in the water that we were sitting on. Truly diffcult to keep him "in check."

Oh, new background, surely we can get something good????

Maggie totally had her own idea about where she wanted to sit and pose, and it generally wasn't NEAR us.

But somehow we managed to pull this one out, and it's pretty good.

So Jere got a couple of ridiculously fabulous shots with the kids. They were having a rare moment of "working" with us.

Are you kidding me? I sort of want to eat her up when I look at this pic. Oh, and I should randomly give Miss jenee a shout out for Maggies bling. I keep trying to explain to Maggie that she just lent it to us for the pics, but she won't hear it. She wears it all day everyday and insists that it is HERS!

So Jere gets fabulous shots with the kids, and I get nothing but 'tude. The kids were NOT having it.

I think I'm trying to plead with Maggie to just sit by me, and hold onto Max for dear life.

We managed to squeek this one out, and as you can tell, still not perfect. OY! Because all these kids wanted to do was....

Man did they want to climb and play. It was a moment of Heaven for these Monkeys.

But seriously, so cute, and it leads to pictures like the one below.

Love this girl.

And I'm sort of beyond in love with this little bubbers. What do you do but just put him on toast and eat him? WOW!

Now Jere and I however, we were totally ready to pose. We didn't fight the camera, we didn't run away to climb the walls. Nooooo, we just kindly and happily smiled for the camera. And when you do that, sometimes good things happen.

I feel like I look sort of old, but at the same time, I do enjoy the blue and cactus background. I'm telling you, Mesa Arts Center is a crazy plethora of background goodness.
This is my personal favorite, but that's just me.

Hi, have you met my totally hot husband? I'm so sure!

Totally using this as a new headshot. And look at those eyes. When we first met, he did not wear glasses, and his eyes were a HUGE draw. Where do you think my kids get such fabo eyes?

Eh, it's a picture anyway.

REALLLLLY wanted this background to work, but the kids didn't feel it for me.

Can you see how much they wanted to take pictures? hahaha

We tried for those cute holding hands and walking pics....not so much.

This pretty much sums up the whole day.

But I saved my favorite picture for last. Here are a couple of shots leading up to "the one" good one.
Wait for it......

Wait for it......

Super grumpy Maggie outburst. But, wait for it........

It was all worth it for that. No really, the whole day of fighting, crying, grumping, screaming, running away, wrestling, fighting, was all worth it for the 4 or 5 gems that we did get. I truly do love to have updated family pics. And many, MANY thanks to my papa for being willing to take our pics and for doing such a bang up job! Oh, and also thanks to my Mom for coming along and helping with the kids and such.
Happy New Year All!
Frowny faces and flash bulbs,