Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It Flowed Like Unto A River

For posterities sake, I must write down how this "saga" has continued. I'm sure someday I'll look back on this gross week and chuckle, perhaps even guffaw at the grossness and ridiculousness of it all. However, in the throws of extra washings of butts and laundry, cleanups, etc. it's not so much the chuckle fest one might expect. So, since it's MY Mommy blog, I'm gonna write about it. Continue reading if you choose, otherwise, tra la la, skip on over to someone elses more entertaining tome.

When one decides to take on Motherhood, even though they may have heard stories of the yucky just don't really get it. You don't REALLY believe that there are poop explosions, or barf like volcanos, or snot clean up that is worthy of a spot in Ripley's. How could this cute, cuddly, sweet little thing cause so much drama, so much work, or EVER be so gross. And, as I've stated before, up until this point, I have been fairly lucky on all accounts. Well, Max had a constant runny nose and disgusting goopy eye from birth until 6 months, and both kids were spit uppers, with Maggie taking some sort of world record for constant spew. But, never barfy, never overly poopy. Until this blessed week. As stated in the previous post, it all began with the infamous carseat puke (which Tammi, amen to the need of a doctorate in patience to EVER put that thing back together right, UGH!) And now, the rest of the story:

All seemed ok for most of the rest of that afternoon. Brooklyn never did grace the "throne" with her presence. Maggie seemed happy and Max's nose, well that was just it's own story. But, at some point, before naps Maggie began complaining of her tummy, and wanting to "spit". And when i say spit, I mean, literally, spit, like spittle, not barf. However, I had the foresight enough to get her a little bucket. After a couple of false starts, she did eventually barf up her lunch. All in all, not so horrible. Maggie also at this point requested a diaper. Hmmm, not a good sign, clearly she knew all was not as it should be in belly world. All were put down for naps, and there was peace in the land. Well, that night the good times began, and it hasn't stopped since. I was awakened by Maggie in my room informing me that "her bum bum hurt" and sure enough, she'd done a touch of "the rhea". That was at 1:30 a.m., Max woke up at 2 needing some comfort, again at 3 a.m. Max was awake, and then Maggie was up at 4:00 yelling she'd pooped. Now, this was sleep depriving for sure, but luckily it was contained poops. Then that morning, after eating a little toast, because I didn't trust her, and she was complaining about her tummy, she managed to walk into the kitchen and barf all over her blanket, her feet and the kitchen floor. Special, to be sure. But, amazingly, not nearly as traumatic and "gross" as I always anticipated such things. So, we got her cleaned up and she spent the rest of the day just laying on either Jere or I. In fact, cutest thing ever......I couldn't figure out where she had gone, it was very quiet on her end, and on Jeres. Finally, I yelled out to Jere, "where is Maggie?" And from the bathroom he whisper yells, "she's asleep." I didn't quite understand what this meant, until awhile later I actually went into the bathroom. There, curled up in Jeres arms, while he was literally "on the pot" was Maggie, dead asleep. He was just trying to do his business, and she came in and said he wanted to hold him. Literally seconds after he picked her up, she fell asleep. So, he was stuck there until I found him and could move her. I WISH I could have taken a picture, it was truly the cutest thing ever! But, I digress.

So, rest of day, wiping fountains of snot off of Max's face. He's soooo sweet about it. He LETS me wipe it off, and will even come to me when I ask him to let me wipe it. Snot, check, holding Maggie, check. At about 6:00 Maggie FILLED her diaper with a delightful treat, which was a real pre-cursor to the "real fun" that began at 4:00 THIS morning. I'd already been in at 2:00 with Max, comforting him back to sleep, and getting Maggies sippy for her. However, at 4:00 I sort of heard Maggie calling Mom. But, it wasn't until Julie peeked her head in our door (she was leaving for work) and said "she pooped the bed" that I was at attention. Really? Pooped THE BED? (Have I mentioned what an absolutey pain in the BUTT it is to change the sheets on either of their beds? And now TWICE in one week. SERIOUSLY!) I walked into a wall of smell that was nothing short of UnGodly. There she stood, telling me she had diarreaha, "would you change me please?" Somehow, in my sleep deprived stooper, I was "smart" enough to lay her in the bathtub to remove said diaper. It was all down her pj's and legs. And THANK GOODNESS I did that, because it was literally liquid. I mean as in pouring out like a pitcher of water. SO SICK!! Poor girl. So, we got that taken care of, the tub cleaned out and Maggie bathed, new jammies on and back to bed. She slept the rest of the "night" with us. Max started yelling Mommy at about 6:00, but he wasn't really crying, and I wasn't really rushing in. After awhile it turned into happy play babbling, so I left him alone. When I finally went in there at about 7:20, he greeted me with a huge "HI!" but that smell was soooooo strong. Sure enough, the poor baby had his own bout of "rhea" all down his legs too. So, got him all cleaned up and changed, sheets off both beds, in the washer and here we are. Both of them are so starved, they pretty much ate a sleeve of crackers. I HOPE it doesn't shoot right through them. I'm just wondering how much longer this will go on. 'Cause frankly, I'm ready for the river to run DRY!

Looks like my kids will get their first ever total jammie day. Wish I could take a jammie day, but I do have students later.

Ralphs and Rhea,



jen said...

Descriptive prose, dear.
Keep the contaminants to yourself, no sharing!

Jenn C. said...

Been there done that! So sorry you are going through it! I hope they are feeling better soon.

Nikia, May and da kids said...

That is so sad and TOO FUNNY!

I forgot about those childhood moments. Oh my! My kids are pretty grown but I can vividly remember those terrible accidents and how I was to frustrated to think of anything except cleaning up my child and the "mess."

It will pass and you will forget about it the older your kids get.


Jules said...

That sure was NOT the way to start ANY day. I knew you didn't hear her, so that's why I went in & OMG the "wall of smell" WOW!!!! The poor girl was standing on the bed..."I pooped the bed" she said in the sweetest little voice. If I wasn't running out the door for work, I'd clean it/her so you could keep sleeping... And then who gets sent home from work because she couldn't keep out of the POTTY ROOM???? Yep me. Thanks beautiful kiddos. :)
Oh well, tomorrow is another day. And yes I do hope the river runs dry too.

Mom said...

And don't you wonder how the woman with 18 going on 19 kids does it! I'll guarantee you NO KIDS get through childhood without some of the above mentioned challenges! Bless your heart! Hope you can get some sleep soon. And hope the kids are now mending! Gatorade, popcicles, 7 up ... don't want dehydration on top of the rest.
Love ya,

Kirsten said...

I really shouldn't have read that.... seriously, that is the most effective birth control I've encountered yet! ick! Haha! Hope they both feel better soon!

Jerevp said...

My turn!! Good times at the Van Patten home for sure!!

Pini Family said...

That stinks...literally! Allyson, you make me laugh, always! Hope things get better soon. Love your blog girl!

Andrea said...

Fun times at the Van Patten house! We got hit with that lovely bug as well. All 6 girls within 2 days. Not fun at all. Porter at least waited a week so I got a little break. Hope you all start feeling better soon.

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