Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It all "Depends"

Fair Warning:  This post comes directly from the files of TMI in Allysons life.  Then again, that's why you come right? To hear inappropriate stories about hickeys, poop, boobs or what have you?  Well, let's get on it then.

Let it be known I have a HUGE bladder.  Like size of Texas huge bladder.  I have been known to go entire days without ever gracing a porcelain throne with my grand derrier.  It'll be like 10:00 at night and I sit down to "tinkle" and think....hmmmm, I haven't been to the bathroom once today.  I can go entire road trips, hours in a car with no need to pee pee.  Unlike other people, who shall remain nameless (cough:::jere::::cough) who seem to need to go every freaking 1/2 hour.  'Tis not to say that there haven't been some changes in my ability to hold pee in in certain situations. I mean, I HAVE had two children already, and I AM pregnant.  So, jumping on a trampoline...not so much a good idea these days, even when not pregnant.  A little trickle has been known to escape.  A good hard laugh, cough or even sneeze, OOPS!  C'mon ladies, who is with me here.  Things aint the same all up in there once you've birthed things the size of large watermelons.  But, I never worry about it much, 'cause I wear a panty liner, it's never so much that I need to change my pants.  We simply ignore the incident and move on with our day.

Anyway, imagine my surprise and dislike when pretty much from conception of this here child in utero I have been a peeing machine.  I mean really, how is it that something the size of a pin head can really disrupt your bladder THAT much.  But for reals....from day one I have used the toity more than I care to admit.  I'm up at least twice every night to relieve my screaming bladder.  And people, it's not just a little bit.  It is copious amounts of liquid I'm releasing.  How is this possible?  Where is it coming from.  I s'pose I should be grateful my kidneys are working, but still.........
I have OTHER things to do and worry about, namely, SLEEP!  Sheesh!

Now, enter the common cold and it's heinous sidekick the cough.  It appeared in my life on Saturday, late in the day.  By yesterday I was feeling pretty bleck and coughing a lot.  Generally speaking, keeping the pee issue under control.  I went to bed last night somewhere around 11:30ish.  I put the warm compress around my neck, drank a bit of water, put the cough drop in my mouth, positioned myself "just so" on the pillows and attempted sleep.  If I literally don't move, and barely breathe I can usually get a little sleep.  Around  5 a.m. things took an ugly turn.  There was no denying this baby and its position on my bladder and my neeeeeeeeed to relieve it.  I painfully rolled myself out of bed, walked to the bathroom and proceeded to urinate the niagra falls of pee.  I mean seriously.....WHERE does it all come from?

At this point, I attempted to go back to sleep, but rat nasty phlegm monster and his entire ugly family had been disturbed and were now ready to partay in my lungs.  I began coughing and could NOT stop.  After about 20 minutes I gave up and just got out of bed.  I walked into the family room, blanky in hand hoping that sitting on the couch would bring some relief.  NO!  So, I finally just reached for the computer and looked around facebook for a bit, and then decided to catch up on some blog reading.  All the while I'm reading I'm coughing, and coughing, and then coughing some more, with an occasional nose blow thrown in for good measure.  Now mind you, as I cough, a bit of pee escapes.  I think nothing of this.  ONE because I had JUST peed the aforementioned Niagra Falls of pee, and TWO because I'm used to the minor pee escape and THREE...fresh pantyliner.  All was fine.  At 6:30 Julie walked out to go to work.  I told her my life sucked with the cough and that I peed every time I coughed.  She laughed and then left.  At 6:50 Maggie came out and wanted to watch a Kids Show.  I turned it on for her, finished reading a blog, coughed one more time and decided I'd get up.


"oh my gosh, oh my gosh, OH.MY.GOSH!"

When I stood up; what should have felt a trifle wet was really soaking like a 2 year old in mid potty training SOAKED. 

I had completely and utterly 100% PEED MY PANTS...AND....THE COUCH. 

How did this happen?  How did I not notice what was going on?  I blame the couch, it just soaked it in.  Perhaps if I'd been sitting on a kitchen chair, I would have noticed Lake Pissayerpants at my feet.

You guys....responsible grownups just do NOT sit and pee their pants.  No, NO they do NOT!  So, not only did I have to do the walk of shame, wet pants style to my room, but I had to face a giant wet spot  Humiliating.  Worse yet, my kids saw it.  I'm just waiting for them to share this gem at Thanksgiving tomorrow.  "Our Mommy peed the couch."  Or worse yet, decide to just get lazy and pee somewhere and then say  "Well...youuuuuuuuuu did it!"

So thanks baby in my belly, I blame you, because well, you can't defend yourself and SOMEONE has to take the blame for this epic mishap.

Now, where are those Depends my Mom tried to give me?  Apparently it's time to take some action.

Wet pants and wheezing,


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Moments with Max and Maggie

Well.......what can I say, my kids are freaks of nature.  And, other than that, they say some really funny things.  There have been a few gems lately.  I s'pose the time has come to share them.

Let's begin with Maggie, shall we?

This literally happened yesterday, and trust me, I can't make this crap up.

Maggie gets in the car and notices an empty bag of sunchips on the seat.

"Mommy, did you go to Krazy Sub?"
"I see that bag, did you go to Krazy Sub?"
"Ummm, yes."
Exasperated sigh
"Mommy, why would you do that when you're feeling sick?"
"I don't know, but it sure is making me feel sicker right now."

" made that choice, and you shouldn't have made that choice.  You know that right?  You made that choice and well, now there is just nothing I can do for you.  You understand that?"
"Ummm yes, I understand.  I will try to remember and not do that again."
"I hope so, because that was a bad choice you made."
Rolls her eyes and walks back to her seat and buckles up for safety.

Apparently she HEARS what I say to her at times, she just fails to ever apply it to herself.  But, I sure got told didn't I.

Overheard in the church bathroom on Sunday.  I may have been taking a "moment" to myself in the mothers lounge.  Noone knew I was in there.  I hear Maggie and a teacher come in to go pottty.  Maggie never stopped chattering the entire time.

"Sometimes I go on that tall potty (handicapped)"
"Well, that is for people who have trouble getting up and down from the potty."
"Yeah, but sometimes I go on there.  But sometimes I go on these other ones."
"Yes, the smaller potty is better for you.  But the tall one is so someone doesn't get stuck on this shorter one."
"Yeah, that happened to my Gramma Peggy once.  And, it happened to my Gramma Hazel, but she died.  But she's ok now, she lives.....she lives in Greer."

WHAT?  Gramma Hazel is Jeres gramma and Maggie only met her when she was 5 mos. old.  But she's SURE she knows her and tells me all the tiem how much she misses her.  But my favorite part is, she equated her being dead and living in Heaven with living in Greer.  AWESOME!

And in the off times, when she's being a pisser, she regails me with these gems....

"You, YOU just make me ANGRY alllllllll the time!"
"I'm gonna do whatever I WANT to do, because I can, I'm the boss of MYSELF!"

Oh Max....he just makes me smile.

At 3:30 this morning he wandered into our room, tapped on my bed until I said
"what Max?"
"Mommy, I need to tell you a secret."
"I love you Mommy."
"I love you too buddy."
I waited for a minute to see if there was anything more, like a snuggle request, potty request or anything.  Nope, nothing. So, I finally patted him on his head and said, go back to bed.  He turned, walked out, shut my door and went back to bed.  WHAT a random moment in time.  Apparently that secret was crucial to his finishing his sleep.

A couple weeks ago Max and I were doing our grocery shopping at Wal-Mart.  When I'm pregnant, especially this time I tend to have big blood sugar drops out of nowhere.  I get dizzy and sick feeling.  It tends to happen almost EVERY time I'm in Wal-Mart, which leads me to believe it has something to do with that evil place.  But, I digress.  So, I grabbeda  Dr. Pepper and in a crazy lapse of judgement, I let Max have some.  Let it be known, I NEVER let my kids drink pop, much less brown, caffenated stuff.  Anyway, we ended up sharing the Dr. Pepper.  When we got in the car Max requested I pass him the drink.

"Mommy, could you please give me the grown up drink, but don't put the lid on too tight."
I handed him the pop, after I'd loosened the lid a bit.
"Thanks Mommy I preciate it."
"Did you  just say you appreciate it?"
"Yes.  Thanks for not putting the lid on too tight."

For reals?  My 3 year old just told me he appreciated me.  It was awesome.

"Mom, MOMMY, I'm THIRSTED for milk."
"Do you mean you're thirsty?"
"NO, I mean I'm THIRSTED for some milk."

Ok, whatever works for you kid.

Lately, almost everytime when it's bedtime, he will say, with great conviction....
"My tummy is hungry."
"Max, we already ate dinner, and you ate this or that."
"But, BUT, my tummy says it's STILL HUNGRYYYYYYYYY."
"No Max"
And then he busts out this little ditty, while making the worlds cutest face.
"So nummy, so nummy, I think there is a cheese stick in my tummy."
It may or may not work on me.  I'm just sayin.

And his latest, favorite saying for everything.....

He really thinks he's saying something cool, and frankly, it cracks me up everytime.

Mostly, I needed to write these things down so I can come back and read them when I'm ready to drop kick one of them for being wild freaking banshee screamers of insanity.  Oh yes, yes it does go down like that around here far more than I like to admit.

Sillies and Sanity,


Monday, November 21, 2011

Event Decorating....Who ME?

We were all sitting around at my parents house, having a little meeting about Greer 2012, when talk turned to my nephews upcoming wedding.   Dana started discussing "assignments" for the grooms dinner and the reception.  When there it was...."Allyson, would you decorate for the dinner?" 

I won't lie, I may have peed a little in my pants.  I mean, I get it....I have people fooled into believing I have some modicum of home decorating ability.  I may have done a few modest thrifty makeovers or whatever.  Let these people believe I know what I'm doing.  But EVENT DECORATING?  Holy crap, that is a completely different ballgame people.

Anywho, I was rather nervous, not gonna lie. What the hoody hoo was I gonna do? (besides totally be a poet there, did you see what I did? HA)  So, I have a fabulous friend, who I will speak of in a moment, that has an insanely fabulous wall of clocks.  I lurve it sooooo much.  I was dropping Maggie off for a play date and I saw the wall o' clocks again and I thought....."clocks, I wanna do something with clocks."  Then I decided, I really wanna make the centerpieces clocks inside apothecary jars.

Then Dana said, what should I do for table covering, my friend has such and such.  I went with black table cloths and green center cloths, so the dishes could be green.  And I told Dana what my idea was....would you it turns out, she was planning on singing a song from the musical "Big" called "Stop Time."  AND that Tierra was currently in a show that used the theme of clocks and time and was amazing. top it off, Bryson has a total obsession with clocks.  HELLO.  Can we say inspired?  I felt like perhaps it was.  And then, because Dana is Dana....she decided to name the entire evening "Moments in Time" and had a program with time themes.  It was awesome.

Ok, so pictures, that's all you care about right?  My apologies for NOT the best quality of pics.  Trust me when I say it was a lot better in person.  But first I have to say, I could NEVER have done this without my friend Stacie Brinkerhoff.  She is RIDICULOUSLY gifted with decorating.  She packed up pieces of her house, her entire wall of clocks and her genius mind and helped me decorate the place.  Also, must say thanks to Brysons StepMom Alison for raiding her studio and Domestic Bliss for pillows on the bench, chalk boards, easles and a few other random pieces that tied it all together.  Also, thanks to my friend Kalli for her vintage clock collection that made it into the jars and on the shelves.  Well, thanks to everyone that loaned me clocks, jars, dishes, etc.  This would NOT have happened without amazing and giving friends.

Just a couple of shots of BEFORE.  Except really these were taken AFTER we cleaned up.  But, you see the "lovely" I had to cover up to make it pretty in there.

Don't worry, I totally nailed those bad boys into the wall.  What?  I had a vignette to create.  Those are Stacies clocks, my sisters chair, Alisons lamp.  See, total group effort.

 That bench....Stacie found it on the side of the road, SIDE OF THE ROAD for FREE!  Old doors, courtesy of Stacie, pictures of Bryson and T printed out by me.  Pillows from Alisons raiding of the basement.
Drink table.

Crepe table.  It wasn't set up, so I just focused on, well, the focal point.  That GIANT frame, Stacie found on the side of the road, FOR FREE!  I went and bought the letters, wrapped the J in ribbon and added the ribbon to the other two.

Close up of one of the centerpieces.

For whatever reason, the dumb computer wont let me upload the one picture I want to of the food table.  So, this will have to do.  It was a delicious dinner of Cafe Rio Salad, which is sweet pork, cilantro lime rice, black beans, cheese, lettuce, cilantro ranch dressing in a taco shell.  All the food was made by Dana and her neighbors and friends and it was fab. 

This is an advice board.  People would fill out a little card and stick it in an envelope.  Then, my brother and bro. in law were the "MC's" of the evening and they were reading the advice.  Some of it was quite hilarious.

Me and the cute newlyweds.  Don't worry, I did totally match the decore.  Whatever, it's cool.

All in all everything turned out absolutely perfectly.  The "theme" was perfect and everyone had a good time.  In the end, I'm glad Dana asked, it was a fun experience and I was just happy I could help and contribute in some way.

Good times,


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A "love" story...Part 2

This guy......THIS GUY! What can I even say? He has, apparently, a vast capacity to fall in love, and cause people to fall in love. Even with goofy faces, silly stories and ridiculous joke telling abilities. Must be the eyes. His story goes a little something like this:

At the reception there was a delicious food buffet of soups and salad. Max was hungry, as he told me he was. So, I went to grab a plate for him and one for me. I dutifully picked out a bread bowl, ladled his soup, got some fruit and then turned to find him. There he was, with a beautiful Asian girl, who he had apparently asked to get him food. She was leaning down handing him his plate, when in his best flirt he asked if she would please sit by him. She smiled and kindly turned him down, as she needed to sit with her friends. He sadly walked away with me and somehow got through his dinner.

I won't lie, there was a lot going on at the reception, and there was the GREATEST play area for kids that they mostly lived in, so I didn't pay much attention as to where or what Max was doing. Apparently.....he was making the moves on his new infatuation, lovely Alfreda. I hear that he made her hold him, dance with him, carry him around, etc. for most of the night. And, she was all to willing to do so. So, the end of the night comes, and I do mean the END of the night. It was just past 10 p.m. the bride and groom had just driven away and it was time to say goodbye.

Alfreda gave Max loves and told him thanks for being her little man for the night. He was NOT having it. He pouted with the best of them.

I know it LOOKS like he's smiling, but he's not. It took three tries, but we finally got a picture of him not crying, or looking at the ground. Everyone, meet Alfreda, the love of Maxs life.

After this picture Alfreda has the audacity to, you know, leave. The weeping, wailing, sobbing and gnashing of teeth that ensued was something you would not believe. I'm not kidding. He was unconsolable. HUGE crocodile tears, loud sobbing. I thought it would surely end quickly, because he'd fall asleep. NOPE! A full 3 miles and 10 minutes later he was still carrying on. As we approached the freeway onramp I saw a police car with its lights flashing. I said, "Hey Max, there's a police car over there. Should I call him and tell him you're disturbing my peace?" He instantly shut up. It was beautiful. And I thought, ok, that's the end of that. Moving on.

Fast's now 7:30 a.m. on Saturday. We are laying in bed when Max comes wandering in. And literally, this is how the conversation went.

"Mommy, I'm crying just a little bit." "I'm just crying a little."

"Why Max, what's wrong?"

"I'm sad that my GIRLFRIEND had to leave."

what the what?

Jere starts giggling and says...."did he just say that?" I said, yes, and then we both hid our faces in the covers and laughed uncontrollably.

But Max wasn't done. Nope, not done at all.

He stood there and continued to lament the loss of HIS girlfriend. Why couldn't she stay here, why couldn't she come over to our house, etc. And in the midst of his grieving he asked what her name was. I told him it was Alfreda, and then he decided not only did he need Alfreda, but he needed a toy.

At this point I turned to Jere and said, "seriously....these are the conversations I wish we could have recorded. It's all too ridiculous to be real."

So he whips out his phone and begins recording. Please, take the 57 seconds to watch this, SO worth it.

See, he just wanted to keep "that girl" here.

Obviously we needed to "interrupt" Brysons honeymooning so we could find out who this Alfreda was. He kindly let us know her last name and we found her on facebook. But not before I'd found pictures of her attending a party after the reception the night before. I pulled up a pic of just her face and then I called Max over and said....hey Max, who is this?

In a whispered, hushed tone of reverence he said....Alfredaaaaaaaaaa.

He continued by saying..."I held that girl, she held me in her arms, oh that's because I was so tired."

Then he asked me if she could please come out of the computer. I explained that that wasn't possible. To which he responded by raising his hands to the screen and chanting...

"ala kazam, ala kazam, ala, ala, ala kazam." With a flourish of his hands he was finished. MUCH to his disappointment she didn't appear before him. I told him I was sorry it hadn't worked out. He asked "well, can she just at least come to our house sometime?" I was non committal in my response. And off he went to pout his loss some more.

Now, if you ask him "Hey Max, who is Alfreda?"
He shrugs, gets an impish grin and says...."my girlfriend."

We let Alfreda know of her powers over our child, and she in turn told us of HIS powers over her. Seems it was a true love story after all.

She wrote to tell me that if anyone had asked her a week ago if she wanted children, she would have said NO. But, Max had made her change her mind. She was now open to the idea. Then, after a couple more exchanges, she wrote again and said....

I don't think you understand. I was so against having children, and Max has totally changed my mind. So much so, I've been looking up different variations of the name Max bc I'm considering naming my first born as a tribute to the kid that made me change my mind. That's what your son has done to me, in just one fleeting night no less.

Thank you again for letting me have him for that night!

How awesome is that?

My kid finds true love, AND helps another kid make it to earth when Alfreda so chooses to procreate.

Yep........Love, true love is what bwings us together today.

Question is....should I be worried here? WHY is my 3 year old so obsessed with girlfriends? I think I'm gonna have to velcro him to my hip for his teenage years, 'cause this aint looking to promising.

Love stories and lollipops,


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A Love two parts


Once upon a time there was a boy named Bryson born.  He was the first grandchild, nephew, etc. born into our family.  To say he was loved, slobbered and adored upon would be an understatement.  Bryson, as it turns out was all kinds of smart and geniusy and musical and adorable.  He grew up to be a super smart, incredibly kind, highly caring, ridiculously gifted piano player and singer and a GOOD BOY!  He went off to Argentina to serve a mission, where he learned spanish like a pro, made all the people love him and served as an assistant to the President.  When he came home, there was MUCH celebrating.  He told his Mom that he would like to be married in a year from his arrival home.

He almost made it.  It was a year and 4 months.

While at BYU, a girl in his choir told him she wanted to set him up with her friend....Tierra.  He said, ok, great.  Then, he decided to try and facebook find this Tierra, and did a search.  Up pops this picture.

This Tierra was starring as Motormouth Maybell in a production of Hairspray.  Bryson was so excited, because apparently....he loved that she was black, and gorgeous.  So, he friend requested her.  She had no idea who he was, and said so.  But, they began talking on facebook, back and forth for a couple weeks.  Finally, he went to see her show.  He had to leave at intermission, but went backstage and tracked her down.  They met briefly.  Then, he called and asked her out.  They went out, 2 days in a row.  And then, they were pretty much inseperable.  And then, as it turns out.....she was NOT the Tierra that the girl meant to set him up with at all.  Happenstance, or serendipity had stepped in and instead, he'd met THIS Tierra.  The Tierra that is a singer, actress, sassy New Yorker, wonderful, good hearted, strong, confident woman, that fits in perfectly with our family.  And soon they were madly, deeply, head over heels in love.  In just a short time, he asked her to marry him.

Then, on Nov. 11, 2011..........they got married.  It was a lovely ceremony and an even lovlier reception/party.  They're adorable together, and oh so happy.  Therefore, I am so happy for them.

That's my lovely sister Dana, the mother of Bryson.  And her wee "bonus"  baby Jayce.  Almost a full 20 years younger than Bryson.

I'd show you more shots of the reception....but apparently blogger doesn't want me to, because it won't upload ANY of my other pictures.  UGH!
Suffice it to say, it was a gorgeous backyard, complete with a dancing/performance outdoor space, the coolest kids playground EVER and more.

Tierra sang a song to Bryson, Bryson sang to Tierra (I may have totally cried, it was so amazing) and the Tierras girlfriends did 2 of the coolest dances I've EVER seen.  It was soo fun.  After that was a lot of dancing (of which I only watched) and visiting.  All in all, a perfect night for a perfect couple.

Tomorrow I bring you Part 2 of the love story......which involves 2 other parties entirely.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Case of the Naughty Baby

I would just like to say.....for the record....I am NOT a very patient person.  No really, it is NOT on my list of good qualities.  Nowhere to be found really.  In my patriarchal blessing (a really amazing blessing giving to members of our church) it admonishes me to develop the quality of patience.  Hmmmm, FAIL!

The problem is, if I want something, I really WANT it THEN.  Right here and NOW!  I no likey to wait even 5 minutes, much less months for whatever it is I'm after.  If I've decided on something....oh good hell, get out the way, 'cause I'm coming for it.  And if I don't get what it is I want.  LOOK OUT!  I am NOT a very happy camper.

I know, I suck.  I get it.  I realize this is NOT a very endearing thing about me.  I need to work on it.  However, as it's still a problem I have, today is one of those moments where Mama ain't too happy.

You see.....I went in for my little Doctors visit.  Not expecting anything but a little measure measure and a listen to the heartbeat.  That's all I was scheduled for.  Not gonna lie, I've been a little nervous, feeling like something would be wrong.  So, when the Doctor comes sauntering in (a full 35 minutes late, good thing I like him) and sits down, checks out my chart and says...."18 weeks, hmmm, I'm surprised you're not having an ultrasound.  This is the time we usually do it."  I was like "Ummm, I TRIED to tell them that when I was scheduling  this.  I suggested I make an appt. for the ultrasound.  They told me NO,  you had to order it."  He rolled his eyes and said, I'll go talk to her and we'll get you in.  So, HOORAY.  I went from no ultrasound, to woopdy doo, an ultrasound and finding out the sex of my baby.  WOO HOO!!

Doctor heard the heartbeat.  I only gained THREE lbs. since my last visit.  Yay for me!  And then he sent me out to the lobby to drink water and fill my bladder up to bursting.  I swear to Buddah this is the last known doctors office on earth that still uses that outdated method.  Noone needs full bladders anymore.  Technology has sorta surpassed the need for the pee pee dance.  Nevertheless, I did as I was told.  I gulped down nearly my whole water bottle, and 1/2 hour later, when I thought I would DIE from the pain in my bladder, we were called back.  Max was with us, and thankfully he was in rare, cute, happy form.  I got up on the table and said "Let's DO this."

Now, this ultrasound tech is nice enough.  Really, she is.  But, she is just NO Betty (Maggies ultrasound tech).  Man I loved that woman, she was AWESOME!  This lady...meh.  So, she gets to work.  Starts prodding around.  We got some fine shots of the babys face, it's creepy skeletal eyeballs and opening mouth.  Excellent shots of its "huge" brain, beating heart, abdomen, legs, arms, everything.  This baby is doing quite well....growing, moving, everything it should.

HOWEVER......what it is NOT doing well is sharing it's little sexual secrets.  Little missy/mister whats its face REFUSED to uncross it's legs and show us what was going on in the down under.  She tried for a good 15 minutes and NOTHING.  Not even a real hint.  As you can imagine, this did NOT make Mama very happy.

Basically I ended up with a couple shots like this (which is another reason I don't like this ultrasound chick.  She literally only gives us 2 or 3 pics, that's it).

random shot I borrowed from google images.
But really, my pirate eye picture of my baby looks a lot like this.
Nice and all, but C'MON!

I'm used to Maggie who from her very first ultrasound laid in the womb like a hooker.  Her legs were always completely spread eagle. There was never ANY question as to what she was.  In fact, when she was born, she never once held herself in the fetal postion.  She came out with her legs spread, and well.......she still sleeps that way.  I think I'm gonna have to watch taht girl, ifyaknowwhatimean.

And Max, well, he was free with his jewels as well.  No question.  Just  "look ma, it's my dingy."

So here I am, child three and now I don't get to know.  NOT OK.  I'm dying.  I NEEEEEED to know.  I need to be able to pin down a name.  I have to know what clothes to pull out of storage and wash and get ready.  I need to know so I can start day dreaming about room decore.  I mean seriously.....super important stuff here. (hehehe)

Needless to say, THIS baby is on my crap list currently speaking.

Lamey ultrasound tech said MAYBE they'd do another one at 28 weeks.  Excuse me? WHAT?  I have to wait 2 1/2 more months to maybe find out.  Well, you can see how this is so NOT working for my patience factor.

Furthermore, I said to the doctor "Ummm, I'm like super old here.  Like considered "elderly" (yeah, they used that term to refer to my uterus).  Shouldn't I be getting ultrasounds every single time you see me?  You know, to make sure the cobwebs up in there aren't smothering the baby?  FO REALS!  He just smiled at me and moved on.  RUDE!

There you have impatient Mama, and one NAUGHTY baby makes for good times at the VP's.

And so......we wait.

Crossed legs and cross mamas,


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween Happenings

What?  Ok FINE!  I may have had an actual good time this year.  So what, let's get over it.  It's no secret that I'm not a fan of this lame brained holiday.  It shouldn't surprise you that EVERY day I had to talk Maggie out of her tree when she'd notice everyone else seemed to be decorated for this Holiday and we weren't.  She would say "WHY aren't WEEEEEE decorated?"  I would say, "because weeeeee don't care."  And then she'd say, "yes we do, let's just go home and decorate."  Uh sorry kid.....2 plastic pumpkins do NOT for Hallowed Eve decore make.  Anywho....the Trunk or Treat came and went and then the big actual Halloween Night came.  Once again, our friend the costumer came through and bequeathed us (and by us I mean maggie) with a truck load of costume options.  Max had 2 options, but only had his heart set on one.  He was gonna be Super Guy, and that was all there  was to that.  Jere had a couple of options as well, and I'll just let pictures do the talkin.

Oh wait, let me back up for uno momento and say......Maggie had a "fall festival" at school.  And, well....let's just say I was SORELY missing Miss Ranelle and her rocktastic Halloween extravaganza that she put on for her preschool.  This "festival" was tragic at best.  In the classroom, with some anemic looking cookies to decorate, a sad little pumpkin painting station, some semi face paintig and then clean up, drink some warm apple juice, eat your cookie and listen to teacher read a story.  SAD!  On the upside, Max thought it was "great" that he got to go to Maggies school and hang out for a bit. So, at least there was that.

His exact words were "That was SO great."  I guess he's better off not remembering what we had last year.

Alrighty then...Saturday night brought us to trunk or treat.  We went to our old wards, and then made our way to my parents HUGE Halloween Carnival at their church.  The kids had a ball, and we were all WORN OUT by the end of the night.  This was the night Maggie chose to be Minnie Mouse and Max was, well, Super Guy.  DUH!

I had to include this because it is SO typical Max.  That kid is a crazy nutt.

This one because.....they're cute.

Maggie is such a little poser.  You should see the others where she posed herself.

On Halloween, before we went out, we had a very special visit from Rapunzel.  The kids were pretty excited.  Look at Maxs face, he was so enamored.

Maggie chose to be the snow princess for Halloween Night.  She looked lovely.
Max was Super Guy again, and Jere was Spongebob.  Would you believe I failed to take even one pic of him?  My bad!  He looked pretty cute.

So, Jere came in and pouted and threw a big HUGE baby fit, insisting that I dress up.  I told him "I DON'T DRESS UP.  EVER."  Why? he asked.  Because, I HATE it.  It makes me feel awkward.  And it's OK if I don't.  He would NOT back down.  So, rather than listen to him cry about it all night and continue to throw fits, I put on a stinkin costume.  Won't lie, I felt like the biggest retard EVER at first.  But, by the end of the night, it wasn't so bad.  Shhh, don't tell HIM!

This was my half smile, "I wanna kill you" look.  You shoulda seen me try and sit in that petti skirted get up.  Almost literally ended up ass up in the neighbors yard at one point.  THAT was fun.

Ok, so we went and trick or treated around in our old neighborhood for a bit, saw friends, and generally had a good time.  Our friends Krys and Melissa brought their two girls and went with us.  After we finished gathering free candy we went over to our new neighbors for a bbq on their driveway.  It was soooo fun.  Such a nice evening.  The kids running around and playing and having fun, while we sat around and ate and visited.  Don't judge....but it was 10:00 before we headed across the street to our house and I threw the kids into the shower and then bed.  Pretty sure they were asleep before their heads fully hit the pillow.  All in all, a fun and successful Halloween.

And finally.....I leave you with these gemsThis beaute of a pic and costume idea was Jeres creation.

Jeres version of Snow Whites Before and After
Before marriage and kids, and AFTER!

He is wrong on just so many levels?  No?  But Maggie, she looks cute. hahahahaha

Anywhodle.....hope your Halloween was fantastical and fun in every way.

Candy and Comas,