This guy......THIS GUY! What can I even say? He has, apparently, a vast capacity to fall in love, and cause people to fall in love. Even with goofy faces, silly stories and ridiculous joke telling abilities. Must be the eyes. His story goes a little something like this:
At the reception there was a delicious food buffet of soups and salad. Max was hungry, as he told me he was. So, I went to grab a plate for him and one for me. I dutifully picked out a bread bowl, ladled his soup, got some fruit and then turned to find him. There he was, with a beautiful Asian girl, who he had apparently asked to get him food. She was leaning down handing him his plate, when in his best flirt he asked if she would please sit by him. She smiled and kindly turned him down, as she needed to sit with her friends. He sadly walked away with me and somehow got through his dinner.
I won't lie, there was a lot going on at the reception, and there was the GREATEST play area for kids that they mostly lived in, so I didn't pay much attention as to where or what Max was doing. Apparently.....he was making the moves on his new infatuation, lovely Alfreda. I hear that he made her hold him, dance with him, carry him around, etc. for most of the night. And, she was all to willing to do so. So, the end of the night comes, and I do mean the END of the night. It was just past 10 p.m. the bride and groom had just driven away and it was time to say goodbye.
Alfreda gave Max loves and told him thanks for being her little man for the night. He was NOT having it. He pouted with the best of them.
I know it LOOKS like he's smiling, but he's not. It took three tries, but we finally got a picture of him not crying, or looking at the ground. Everyone, meet Alfreda, the love of Maxs life.
After this picture Alfreda has the audacity to, you know, leave. The weeping, wailing, sobbing and gnashing of teeth that ensued was something you would not believe. I'm not kidding. He was unconsolable. HUGE crocodile tears, loud sobbing. I thought it would surely end quickly, because he'd fall asleep. NOPE! A full 3 miles and 10 minutes later he was still carrying on. As we approached the freeway onramp I saw a police car with its lights flashing. I said, "Hey Max, there's a police car over there. Should I call him and tell him you're disturbing my peace?" He instantly shut up. It was beautiful. And I thought, ok, that's the end of that. Moving on.
Fast forward.....it's now 7:30 a.m. on Saturday. We are laying in bed when Max comes wandering in. And literally, this is how the conversation went.
"Mommy, I'm crying just a little bit." "I'm just crying a little."
"Why Max, what's wrong?"
"I'm sad that my GIRLFRIEND had to leave."
what the what?
Jere starts giggling and says...."did he just say that?" I said, yes, and then we both hid our faces in the covers and laughed uncontrollably.
But Max wasn't done. Nope, not done at all.
He stood there and continued to lament the loss of HIS girlfriend. Why couldn't she stay here, why couldn't she come over to our house, etc. And in the midst of his grieving he asked what her name was. I told him it was Alfreda, and then he decided not only did he need Alfreda, but he needed a toy.
At this point I turned to Jere and said, "seriously....these are the conversations I wish we could have recorded. It's all too ridiculous to be real."
So he whips out his phone and begins recording. Please, take the 57 seconds to watch this, SO worth it.
See, he just wanted to keep "that girl" here.
Obviously we needed to "interrupt" Brysons honeymooning so we could find out who this Alfreda was. He kindly let us know her last name and we found her on facebook. But not before I'd found pictures of her attending a party after the reception the night before. I pulled up a pic of just her face and then I called Max over and said....hey Max, who is this?
In a whispered, hushed tone of reverence he said....Alfredaaaaaaaaaa.
He continued by saying..."I held that girl, she held me in her arms, oh that's because I was so tired."
Then he asked me if she could please come out of the computer. I explained that that wasn't possible. To which he responded by raising his hands to the screen and chanting...
"ala kazam, ala kazam, ala, ala, ala kazam." With a flourish of his hands he was finished. MUCH to his disappointment she didn't appear before him. I told him I was sorry it hadn't worked out. He asked "well, can she just at least come to our house sometime?" I was non committal in my response. And off he went to pout his loss some more.
Now, if you ask him "Hey Max, who is Alfreda?"
He shrugs, gets an impish grin and says...."my girlfriend."
We let Alfreda know of her powers over our child, and she in turn told us of HIS powers over her. Seems it was a true love story after all.
She wrote to tell me that if anyone had asked her a week ago if she wanted children, she would have said NO. But, Max had made her change her mind. She was now open to the idea. Then, after a couple more exchanges, she wrote again and said....
I don't think you understand. I was so against having children, and Max has totally changed my mind. So much so, I've been looking up different variations of the name Max bc I'm considering naming my first born as a tribute to the kid that made me change my mind. That's what your son has done to me, in just one fleeting night no less.
Thank you again for letting me have him for that night!
How awesome is that?
My kid finds true love, AND helps another kid make it to earth when Alfreda so chooses to procreate.
Yep........Love, true love is what bwings us together today.
Question is....should I be worried here? WHY is my 3 year old so obsessed with girlfriends? I think I'm gonna have to velcro him to my hip for his teenage years, 'cause this aint looking to promising.
I'm a wife to one, mother of three, sister to five, friend to many, singer, performer and teacher. I love my family. I love to tell the stories of the day to day with a lot of humor and a healthy dose of snark. Life can be hard, we may as well laugh at it.