Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Moments with Max and Maggie

Well.......what can I say, my kids are freaks of nature.  And, other than that, they say some really funny things.  There have been a few gems lately.  I s'pose the time has come to share them.

Let's begin with Maggie, shall we?

This literally happened yesterday, and trust me, I can't make this crap up.

Maggie gets in the car and notices an empty bag of sunchips on the seat.

"Mommy, did you go to Krazy Sub?"
"why?"
"I see that bag, did you go to Krazy Sub?"
"Ummm, yes."
Exasperated sigh
"Mommy, why would you do that when you're feeling sick?"
"I don't know, but it sure is making me feel sicker right now."

"Well.....you made that choice, and you shouldn't have made that choice.  You know that right?  You made that choice and well, now there is just nothing I can do for you.  You understand that?"
"Ummm yes, I understand.  I will try to remember and not do that again."
"I hope so, because that was a bad choice you made."
Rolls her eyes and walks back to her seat and buckles up for safety.

Apparently she HEARS what I say to her at times, she just fails to ever apply it to herself.  But, I sure got told didn't I.

Overheard in the church bathroom on Sunday.  I may have been taking a "moment" to myself in the mothers lounge.  Noone knew I was in there.  I hear Maggie and a teacher come in to go pottty.  Maggie never stopped chattering the entire time.

"Sometimes I go on that tall potty (handicapped)"
"Well, that is for people who have trouble getting up and down from the potty."
"Yeah, but sometimes I go on there.  But sometimes I go on these other ones."
"Yes, the smaller potty is better for you.  But the tall one is so someone doesn't get stuck on this shorter one."
"Yeah, that happened to my Gramma Peggy once.  And, it happened to my Gramma Hazel, but she died.  But she's ok now, she lives.....she lives in Greer."

WHAT?  Gramma Hazel is Jeres gramma and Maggie only met her when she was 5 mos. old.  But she's SURE she knows her and tells me all the tiem how much she misses her.  But my favorite part is, she equated her being dead and living in Heaven with living in Greer.  AWESOME!

And in the off times, when she's being a pisser, she regails me with these gems....

"You, YOU just make me ANGRY alllllllll the time!"
"I'm gonna do whatever I WANT to do, because I can, I'm the boss of MYSELF!"


Oh Max....he just makes me smile.

At 3:30 this morning he wandered into our room, tapped on my bed until I said
"what Max?"
"Mommy, I need to tell you a secret."
"What?"
"I love you Mommy."
"I love you too buddy."
I waited for a minute to see if there was anything more, like a snuggle request, potty request or anything.  Nope, nothing. So, I finally patted him on his head and said, go back to bed.  He turned, walked out, shut my door and went back to bed.  WHAT a random moment in time.  Apparently that secret was crucial to his finishing his sleep.

A couple weeks ago Max and I were doing our grocery shopping at Wal-Mart.  When I'm pregnant, especially this time I tend to have big blood sugar drops out of nowhere.  I get dizzy and sick feeling.  It tends to happen almost EVERY time I'm in Wal-Mart, which leads me to believe it has something to do with that evil place.  But, I digress.  So, I grabbeda  Dr. Pepper and in a crazy lapse of judgement, I let Max have some.  Let it be known, I NEVER let my kids drink pop, much less brown, caffenated stuff.  Anyway, we ended up sharing the Dr. Pepper.  When we got in the car Max requested I pass him the drink.

"Mommy, could you please give me the grown up drink, but don't put the lid on too tight."
I handed him the pop, after I'd loosened the lid a bit.
"Thanks Mommy I preciate it."
"Did you  just say you appreciate it?"
"Yes.  Thanks for not putting the lid on too tight."

For reals?  My 3 year old just told me he appreciated me.  It was awesome.

"Mom, MOMMY, I'm THIRSTED for milk."
"Do you mean you're thirsty?"
"NO, I mean I'm THIRSTED for some milk."


Ok, whatever works for you kid.

Lately, almost everytime when it's bedtime, he will say, with great conviction....
"My tummy is hungry."
"Max, we already ate dinner, and you ate this or that."
"But, BUT, my tummy says it's STILL HUNGRYYYYYYYYY."
"No Max"
And then he busts out this little ditty, while making the worlds cutest face.
"So nummy, so nummy, I think there is a cheese stick in my tummy."
It may or may not work on me.  I'm just sayin.

And his latest, favorite saying for everything.....

"Holy CHEMICALS!"
He really thinks he's saying something cool, and frankly, it cracks me up everytime.

Mostly, I needed to write these things down so I can come back and read them when I'm ready to drop kick one of them for being wild freaking banshee screamers of insanity.  Oh yes, yes it does go down like that around here far more than I like to admit.

Sillies and Sanity,

Allyson

5 comments:

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

Holy chemicals, your kiddos are adorable! :) I love the funny things kids say. And yeah, I'd say you definitely got a good chastising from Miss Maggie!

alfreda said...

He pulled the so yummy, so yummy thing with me... but it ended with "there's a party in my tummy." Where does he get this stuff? love it.

The Bipolar Diva said...

now, I'm going to HAVE to remember "holy CHEMICALS!" I love that!

alison said...

maggie cracks me up...that's so funny when our kids school us ;) and max??? i don't think i would have slept the rest of the night if i got a little midnight "i love you" from one of mine. probably just sat there and squeezed them and cried. lol and "holy chemicals"???? hysterical!

Stephanie @ dial m for minky said...

That Maggie is,as my grandmother would say,a pistol!! You better get ready because the teen years are going to be amazing. She is the perfect mix of you and Jere!
And Max, oh sweet Max! I love Holy Chemicals! Someone taught my Max to say oh my God and I haven't been able to correct him because it is too frigging cute.