Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Unplanned Project...

So yesterday, whilst perusing the merchandise at the Hobby Lobby ** with Jer, we came upon a sign and Jere HAD to have it.

**We were at Hobby Lobby to buy needle point projects for Jere, because he just discovered that it's super relaxing for him to sit and pull a needle in and out of plastic sheets. Hehehe

The sign looks like this:

I couldn't really say no because 1. I loved the saying too, and 2.  It was only 20 bucks.  So off we went with our newly purchased sign and no idea what we were gonna do with it.  Might I also mention that we had been at Michael's before that and I found the most bargainess bargain ever.  This adorable ceramic bird for $1.37.  That is ONE DOLLAR and THIRTY SEVEN CENTS!  AWESOME!!! Again, didn't know where it was going to go, but I had to have it.

There she is.  Cute no?

This morning, I just stuck the picture on the only nail that was in our wall (put there for something at Christmas time) to get it out of the way and get a maybe idea of what I would like to do.

Well people, this set off a whole slew of little projects.  Can you see where this is heading?

First, I went out to my garage and pulled this little shelfy poo that was just sitting in a pile of shelfy poos that I have.

Just some Wal-Mart special I had bought over 6 years ago for a classroom.

Then I turned to my paint shelf, and happily I had spray primer, and white spray paint.  Also...some fab blueish/turquoise spray paint left over from another project.  YES, I was on my way.

While I was doing these projects, my brain began percolating with other ideas.  I have inherited an AMAZING collection of hand made lace, doilies, clothing, etc. all knitted or tatted by my Great Grandmothers.  I have an amazeballs idea for a bedroom for Maggie someday that will incorporate many of these. However, at this time, I just dug through and  pulled out the only blue one I could find, pulled an old frame from my frame pile in the garage and painted the cardboard backing white.   Then I pulled another old frame, painted it white and just placed a darling little pillowcase with needlepoint/cross stitched blue birds made by my great grandmother under the glass.  I was thinking I was on to something.

So, after about a half hours worth of painting, and literally no money but the 20 bucks for the picture spent.  Oh excuse me, 20 plus the 1.37 for the bird, I had a new section of decorated wall.


And yes, I am fully aware that the entire thing needs to be lowered about 3 inches or more.  It's bugging me.  But Lana said she thought it was ok.  I'm gonna live with it for a bit and then reassess.  I HATE hanging things, it's a pain. are some closer looks of the projects.

A closeup of the grouping.  It makes me happy.
That spoon is called a love spoon.  My parents brought that back from a trip to Wales long ago.  It was given to my Grandparents, and when they were cleaning out my Grampas apartment, I got to keep it. I stole the plant from my entertainment center, and it just works smashingly there.  Man, I totally love designing on a dime (or stealing from around the house).

Yeah, I'm too lazy to iron the thing.  What of it?

Isn't that the coolest thing EVER!  I wish you could really see the detail.  It is so intricate and sooo teeny and amazing.  It's a lost art, that is for sure.

My sweet little dollar turquoise bird.  Need to put some black on the eyes.

So?  What do you think?  Be honest with me here.  I can take it.

 I won't lie, it felt GOOD to actually have a little project to do, and to be painting and decorating again.

Spray paint and messy hands,


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Splash Heard 'Round the World....Or at least in our backyard

So, my internet stopped working for like 4 days....and you guys, A LOT of stuff went down.  Not the least of which was this aforementioned "SPLASH".

Here's my story.

Friday morning dawned bright and early.....we were up and at 'em at the UNHEARD of hour of 5:20 a.m.  Our darlingest neighbor Blainer had agreed to help us chop and by chop I mean chainsaw down our very very dead orange tree in the backyard.  We were going to take the opportunity to really go to town on cleaning up our front and back yard (I use that term lightly, as we mostly have giant tracks of dirt, no grass to be found, unless you count huge weeds).  So, we worked and worked and worked, even though the chainsaw didn't work. BOO!  Anywho, we were GETTING IT DONE!!!  I mowed the heck out of the random foot high patches of dead grass.  I raked, I weed eated.  Jere showed the 4 ft. tall weed trees on the side of the house who was boss. 
  SIDENOTE:  I LOVE when Jere helps with a project...he is so freaking thorough!
So anyway I moved on to the pool.  Because well, the Einsteins who lived in this house before and put that pool in were seriously MENTAL.

Who decides to put a pool smack in the smallest part of the yard, and surrounds it with a deck that is literally no wider than a foot in places AND then surrounds said retarded deck with grass.  Except, now there is no real grass, just DEAD grass and a lot of dirt.  So, when you weed eat, it all flies into the pool, and when you step out of the pool and then get back in, there is dirt.  Seriously, it makes me INSANE!  Way to go geniuses!

Anyway....I went to work skimming the pool, and trust me, it was a JOB!  After roughly 400 passes around the uncharacteristically small pool deck I had accomplished my work.  There I was, standing at the far end taking the skimmer off the pole, 'cause now it was time to vacuum. 

Picture with me if you standing with my back to the water.  Covered in grass, dirt, sweat and filth.  I am unattaching the skimmer when suddenly, the world has gone awry.  What is happening, why am I wet?  Wait, am I in the pool, do I have makeup on?  HOW did this happen?  I'm SO confused! 

Apparently, my foot was closer to the edge than I thought.  I mean really, when your deck is a foot wide, what can you expect.  But honestly, I had NO idea that I was in such a precarious position.  And I truly don't know HOW it happened.  All I know is this....I was ass up in the neighbors yard (or my own pool, whatever) and I was hurting.  Because frankly, I thought perhaps my mmm hmmm "venis de milo" or my lady bits if you will had just exploded.  See, when my left leg went in, scraping the hell out of it I might add, the right leg stayed on the deck and clearly my brain was trying to maintain a hold, balance or something.  So, while unwittingly doing full blown splits I feared I'd ripped my hoo ha apart.  I may have screamed out "shit" and then just moaned over and over and over again.  At which point, as I was floating "lifelessly" in the water, my children said "we'd better go get Dad."  And off they went, screaming for Daddy to come help Mommy.  When Jere got back there I was back to coherency.  He asked how I was, I assessed myself and said...."I think I'm ok."  I could move my limbs, my shee shee seemed to be in tact.  No harm, no foul.  I then took off my clothes and swam in my undies (sorry for the visual, just think of puppies and unicorns) with my family while it poured rain.  It was lovely.

Cut to two hours later, I've showered, I've gotten ready, I've been on phonecalls. and I'm realizing that I'm in quite a bit of pain.  In fact, with each passing moment my foot/ankle hurts worse and worse until eventually I literally couldn't breathe on it.  Thankfully we had some crutches.  Jere fixed them to my height and off we went to urgent care.  FOUR HOURS and 3 x-rays later I had a big sprain.  They fit me with a brace and off I went.

Can you believe the ridiculousness of it all?  I FELL in my freaking pool and nearly broke myself.  Thankfully, only a sprain and a big scrapey and bruise. And lest you worry.....I'm gonna be JUST FINE for the show on Friday.  PHEW!

And that is the story of....the splash heard round "my pool."

Ankle sprains and broken V's,


Friday, July 6, 2012

The MAGIC of Musical Theatre

Every June for the last 12 years I have been a director for Mesa Community Colleges "Magic of Musical Theatre" program.  It's an intensive 2 week "camp" for kids ages 5th grade thru 12th to come and learn to sing, dance and act.  Overall the performance consists of about 30 different numbers.  We put on a big show in the theatre with lights, cool set, costumes, etc.  It really is an amazing program and the kids LOVE it!  June is a very busy, very crazy month, to say the least.  Especially having 3 kids and trying to juggle them, babysitting, directing, etc.  This June was only added stress due to the rehearsals for our show "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change."  But anyway....

There is a second program for "the littles" that is for kids ages Kindegarten thru 4th grade.  I don't teach that one, or have anything to do with it, but it's super cute.  This year....Maggie was finally old enough to take part in it, and holy cow was she excited.  Before their session started they got a CD to practice to and learn their songs.  She and Max listened to it daily, and I'll have you know, Max knows all the songs too.  He's excited to be able to do it next year.  However, my point here is...Maggie did it this year, LOVED it and got to do it with EIGHT of her cousins, or her best friends as she likes to call them.

I can't tell you how fun and heartwarming it was to see all 9 of those Shumway kiddos/cousins up there singing and "acting" their little gutts out.  I won't lie, we have a talented bunch of little kids amongst us.  But of course my favorite was seeing Maggie up there, 'cause she looked soooo mini and tiny.  When it came time for her solo, she belted it out loud and proud.  Jere was ready to shed a little tear, as was I.  It's so wierd what happens to you as a parent and you witness your kid doing something they love, and are good at.  JOY!

I'm grateful for this program, not only for the benefit it is to all kids involved, but for the employment it offers, the growth I've made, and the happiness it brings to so many.  My Mom is a diehard follower of all the performances, even if she doesn't have grandkids performing.  She just loves it that much. hahahahaha

Ok fine, i'll shut up.  Here are a few pics, and trust me, they suck.  Photography was not my calling in life.

All gussied up and ready to perform.
Cousin Morgan said:
Maggie, it's hard to recognize you with Makeup on.

Tatum and Livy during warmups before the show.

Maggie singing in warmups.  She has a distinctive tongue thing she does when singing.  someday I hope to break her of the habit.  For now....we let it be cute.

All NINE of the cousins who were in the program

Sister cousins
Brooklyn, Livy, Maya, Tatum, Morgan and Maggie

Crazy boy cousins
Dane, Jayce and Owen

Proud Parents

Gramma Peggy

Gramma and Grampa Shumway

And Mayzie came dressed in her leopard print finest to support her big Sis.

After the performance we enjoyed a family meal at YC's Mongollian BBQ (so delish) and then the kids came back to the theatre with us to watch the night show of all the older kids workshop! 

For the was the 25th Year of Workshop!  Sorta a big dealio.  And cool enough is the fact that there were two girls in 2nd session whose Mother was in the FIRST session ever.  Their Mom happens to be my friend Marie, sister to my friend Joyce.  They were darling girls and I loved having them, especially Meredith 'cause she was in EVERY.SINGLE.ONE of my numbers.  So for you Joycee (and Marie who is a stalker of my blog, HI) here is the cute pic we took.

All in all it was a perfect Saturday for the MVP's!

Cousins and cuties,


Thursday, July 5, 2012

The most Painful Cut.....

When I found out I was pregnant with Maggie (it was a girl) I sent up a few requests to the man upstairs.  If he could see fit, i'd be ever so grateful for these features:

Hair like her Daddies
Eyes like her Dads
A body like mine (because under all the fat, I have a good shape)  and if she couldn't have that, could she at least have Jeres arms and legs, 'cause they're cute and small, even when he's a big guy.  Oh what I wouldn't give to have arms and legs like HIS!

What she got was, her Auntie Julies body.  The girl is allll torso and NO legs, and her ankels are a little thickish.  She got not so great teeth (thanks to my Mom and me) beautiful eyes that are a mix of mine and Jeres, AND....God heard my plea and gave her gorgeous, thick, stunning hair.  It may not be dark like her Daddies, but it's thick and lucious like his.  THANK YOU!  As a girl who has lived all her life with thin hair, and then balding hair....I am ever so grateful for that one
tender mercy.

Just LOOK at that HAIR!  No judging on the clip ok?  We were just happy to have anything at all in her hair that day.  This is the picture they had taken at their summer class and then they painted a frame for Fathers Day and put it in.  SO CUTE!

So, perhaps, because of my own hair trauma, I've become rather attached to her lovely mane.

Me at Maggies age.  Thin and barely there hair.  My Mom informed me that mostly I grew mullets.  NICE!

Anyway......She has begged, and BEGGED for a very long time for us to just cut all her hair off.  I have firmly stood my ground and  said NO!  She insisted that she just wanted it cut off for the hot summer.  Because we all know you can just chop hair off for the summer and it'll grow right back come Fall.  I insisted that this was a bad idea because with short hair, I would then have to DO it all the time, as in blow it dry.  At least with long hair, she could just have it blowin in the breeze.

As I've made abundantly clear on this here blog.....doing her hair is a nightmare of epic proportions.  Somewhere along the way she decided that i'm incompetent and suck donkey balls in the hair doing department.  So, it didnt' matter what I tried, or how I tried, she became a sniveling, snarling, white hot ball of 4 year old terror.  There was screaming, there was head banging, jerking and spinning.  I think there may have been a few full out Exorcist moments in there.  There was crying and weeping (and that was just on MY part).  It was awful.  Nary a Sunday passed without me being FULL of anger and bitterness and her crying in her cheerios (which clearly someone had already "pissed" in...oh my sides).  I had to humble myself to just let her go around looking like a lost orphan child.  Tangled hair?  Ok.  Brushed yet just falling all in her face?  Just fine.  Of course if ANYONE else offered to do her hair, she was a total delight.  Happy as a clam to let them brush, comb, pull, bundle, whatever.

After my last big runin with her, and posting about it on here, my hairdresser extraordinaire and Sis in law Lana wrote and said that she thought perhaps I really should consider cutting off her hair.  She listed some reasons why this could be beneficial, not the least of which was...Maggie had for some reason created a very unhealthy association to me and her hair.  So, perhaps by cutting it off and not having to try and do it, she could get over that.  Plus, she'd look cute.  It should be noted that Jere had been pushing for this haircut for a long time too. I just was NOT ready to go there.

But, my defenses were down, I was beaten down with all the fighting and decided that perhaps she was right.  I agreed to cut Maggies beautiful hair.  That is not to say that there weren't quite a few tears shed.  I know...ridiculous, but I can't help it.  I loved her hair, and perhaps covet it a little bit too.

So am I the ONLY one to be saddened by cutting off their kids hair?  Yes?  Just me huh?  Ok, fine.

When I asked her if she wanted to get her hair cut on Monday she nearly jumped out of her skin with excitement.  When I asked if she was REALLY sure, she looked at me with all the confidence in the world and said:
"I'm REALLy sure."
"Maggie, what if your hair doesn't grow back,"
"Well, if it grows back that will be ok, but if it doesn't grow back, I'll be just fine with that."

The time for the cut could not get here fast enough for her.  She was actually bugged that she had to wait through Maxs and my haircut first.

Finally, the moment of truth came.  I gulped down some more tears and put on a brave face.  My babies perfect, untouched, long hair was about to be cut away.

Just a shot of her final cool hairdo.  Lana did this fancy thing for her performance last Saturday (post to come)

Someone is WAYY to excited about this.

Holy crap!  That really happened.   And it is a lot of hair!
Do you SEE her smile?  We never see that much happiness from her.

Mama be sad

Cousin Livy using the hair as pom pons

Lana working some scissor "magic"

Ta Da!  There she is, in all her short glory.
Does she suddenly look 15 or what?

She is SO pleased with this hair she can barely take it.  She wants everyone to see it, comment on it, love it like she does.  So, I s''s a win.
Now, who wants to bet I can NEVER get it to look as good as Lana again.

For your viewing pleasure, I leave you with a shot of my little man Max, who got a haircut of his own that day.

Yeah, I buzzed it all off.
I was sorta sick of him fighting me on combing it, and crying about haircuts.  So now, no worries for awhile.  Just makes him look more like his Daddy at that age, only blonder.

Oh yeah, and one last one of Mayzie, because please, who doesn't want to see a cute baby?

Scissors and tears,


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th

It's the 4th of July ya'll.  Independence Day...if you will.

My whole growing up life this was a big deal.  A neighbor one street over would literally shoot off a cannon at like 6 a.m. waking up the world.  We decorated our trucks, bikes, whatevers, wore costumes and put on full parades around our neighborhood.  I mean, the entire neighborhood/ward was involved.  Then, we'd head over to the church building for some big patriotic program, followed by a lovely breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage, etc.  Capped off by the raising of the flag and reciting of the pledge.  I mean it.....I don't remember ever NOT doing this.  It set the tone for the day.  I felt the patriotism.

These days....not so much going on.  Well ok fine, as the years passed, and my Mom wasn't in charge of the big program, things began to wane a bit.  But we still had the breakfast and flag raising.

Then, there was always the big bbq and swimming at my parents house in the afternoon.

So this year....I don't know what is happening.  We have no bbq planned, and it seems like nothing is going on.  BOO!

My kids have cute 4th of July clothes dangit, we need somewhere to go.  So, what we DID do was traipse our selves on over to our beloved 20th Wards breakfast for the 4th.  Yep, at 7:30 a.m. I put on my clothes, combed my hair, brushed my teeth, got the kids dressed and we went, and I DIDN'T wear makeup.  Mmm Hmm, feeling saucy in my old age.

There was a tasty breakfast, festive decorations and then a patriotic sing along, followed by the flag raising.  At least we got SOME patriotism goin on here.  Plus, my kids got to play with their little friends that they haven't even seen all summer.

All in all, a nice morning.  Now the kids are at the neighbors, Jere is STILL in bed and Mayzie is napping.  Should I clean my dirty house, or just let freedom ring and laize around?  Burning questions, I know.



Why yes, yes indeed I DID crop my face out. Because me at 7:30 a.m. with no makeup is just not what you needed to make your day cheerful.


Monday, July 2, 2012

Nutritional Redonkatude

Oh.My.Gosh you guys....I JUST made up that word  "redonkatude."  I love it.  I'm so gonna make it work.  Unlike "fetch" which Gretchen could never quite make stick in Mean Girls.
BTDUB, WHO am I with a post EVERY day this week.  What is going on?

Right.  So last week whilst exposing my children to their first dental visit, in between taking pictures of them, I perused the latest People Magazine.  It was all about celebrities weight, and celebs that had lost weight and what skinny bitches celebs eat.  All was well and good until I turned to THIS page:

I implore you to click on this picture and read the contents of Staceys eating,.

Ok, you done reading yet?
Please insert the sound of screeching cars, or the record scratching to a halt right here.  WHAT THE HELL?!!  WHO eats like that, for reals?

No, No, I get it...Stacey Keebler is hot.  Her legs are to die for.  She has an amazing body.  Who will EVER forget her in her dresses on Dancing with the Stars (sidebar: If i didn't LOVE Drew Lachey so much, I'd totally say Stacey was robbed)?  Certainly not I.  And for heavens sake, she IS dating MY boyfriend George, which really torks my shorts! But that's neither here nor there.  However, if THAT is what it takes to date George, and have her body....well count me out.  I will take my "lucious" curves.  I will take my lumps, bumps and humps.  Because honestly, did you SEE her snack of TEN organic almonds sprayed with amino acid spray?  WHAAAAT?   And if I saw the word "organic" one more time I may have punched her in her fun bags.

WHO snacks on precisely TEN almonds? Because I happen to know that a serving size of almonds is 1 oz. and having measured out said ounce for myself, that equals TWENTY FIVE almonds. So, where are her extra 15 almonds going? No really, WHERE are they? Furthermore....Who drinks hot water with lemon for BREAKFAST?  1 tsp. TEASPOON of dressing?  Is that even possible!!??  And what is she, part owner of Qure water?  Why specifically QURE water?  I neeeeeed to know. Really, how do you keep up with that crap?  There has to be some "normal" somewhere.  I'm just sayin.

I wish I woulda taken a picture of the page of the stupid little starlets talking about their "worst" food mistakes.  Like the time ::gasp:: this one girl ate one bite of a candybar and said out loud, she was really gonna have to work out extra hard to get that off.  Or the other chick who inexcusably craves doritos, but only allows herself to eat 2, or something stupid like that.  It's not that I begrudge them striving to maintain an unattainable figure, or having control in their lives.  It's just the level of ridiculousness of it.  Again, may I remind you....Hot water is NOT breakfast.  I just have a really hard time accepting that THAT is how you must eat to ever maintain your body.  Is it legitimately impossible to ever just eat something delicious and not gain weight?  Food is so stupid.  So tempting, so desirable, and yet, it makes us fat.  Unless of course you're Stacey Keebler eating 10 almonds for your snack.

That being said, I HAVE lost 20 lbs. in a month and it included eating MORE than 10 almonds and non organic foods.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to drink nothing but shakes for a week so I can lose 7 lbs. before my BIG show premiere. Because let's be honest.....I need to lose those 7 lbs. so I can be at my sveltest (yeah, i said it) as I do only wear a slip in the opening number of the show.  Me, a black bra and a slip.  I'm frightened for you all.  BUT, sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.

Diets suck,


P.S.  My show: I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change is supes awesome and you should for sure come see it, and me, in my slip, having lost 7 lbs more this week so you don't have to hard, at the sight of me, in a, have I mentioned....SLIP!  Just sayin.