BTDUB, WHO am I with a post EVERY day this week. What is going on?
Right. So last week whilst exposing my children to their first dental visit, in between taking pictures of them, I perused the latest People Magazine. It was all about celebrities weight, and celebs that had lost weight and what skinny
I implore you to click on this picture and read the contents of Staceys eating,.
Ok, you done reading yet?
Please insert the sound of screeching cars, or the record scratching to a halt right here. WHAT THE HELL?!! WHO eats like that, for reals?
No, No, I get it...Stacey Keebler is hot. Her legs are to die for. She has an amazing body. Who will EVER forget her in her dresses on Dancing with the Stars (sidebar: If i didn't LOVE Drew Lachey so much, I'd totally say Stacey was robbed)? Certainly not I. And for heavens sake, she IS dating MY boyfriend George, which really torks my shorts! But that's neither here nor there. However, if THAT is what it takes to date George, and have her body....well count me out. I will take my "lucious" curves. I will take my lumps, bumps and humps. Because honestly, did you SEE her snack of TEN organic almonds sprayed with amino acid spray? WHAAAAT? And if I saw the word "organic" one more time I may have punched her in her fun bags.
WHO snacks on precisely TEN almonds? Because I happen to know that a serving size of almonds is 1 oz. and having measured out said ounce for myself, that equals TWENTY FIVE almonds. So, where are her extra 15 almonds going? No really, WHERE are they? Furthermore....Who drinks hot water with lemon for BREAKFAST? 1 tsp. TEASPOON of dressing? Is that even possible!!?? And what is she, part owner of Qure water? Why specifically QURE water? I neeeeeed to know. Really, how do you keep up with that crap? There has to be some "normal" somewhere. I'm just sayin.
I wish I woulda taken a picture of the page of the stupid little starlets talking about their "worst" food mistakes. Like the time ::gasp:: this one girl ate one bite of a candybar and said out loud, she was really gonna have to work out extra hard to get that off. Or the other chick who inexcusably craves doritos, but only allows herself to eat 2, or something stupid like that. It's not that I begrudge them striving to maintain an unattainable figure, or having control in their lives. It's just the level of ridiculousness of it. Again, may I remind you....Hot water is NOT breakfast. I just have a really hard time accepting that THAT is how you must eat to ever maintain your body. Is it legitimately impossible to ever just eat something delicious and not gain weight? Food is so stupid. So tempting, so desirable, and yet, it makes us fat. Unless of course you're Stacey Keebler eating 10 almonds for your snack.
That being said, I HAVE lost 20 lbs. in a month and it included eating MORE than 10 almonds and non organic foods. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to drink nothing but shakes for a week so I can lose 7 lbs. before my BIG show premiere. Because let's be honest.....I need to lose those 7 lbs. so I can be at my sveltest (yeah, i said it) as I do only wear a slip in the opening number of the show. Me, a black bra and a slip. I'm frightened for you all. BUT, sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.
P.S. My show: I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change is supes awesome and you should for sure come see it, and me, in my slip, having lost 7 lbs more this week so you don't have to cry...as hard, at the sight of me, in a, have I mentioned....SLIP! Just sayin.