Sunday, December 2, 2012

You did WHAT????


So this afternoon I took the kids over to Gramma Dars for some visiting and playing. Jere needed to work on homework, which means....he needed silence. And we hadn't been over to visit Dar in awhile.

The kids "helped" Dar go through a tiny tiny portion of her Christmaspalooza and talked to her, as did I. Then, I took Mayzie upstairs to see if i could convince her to take a little nappy nap in the sweet nursery Dar has up there.  I layed her down and waited.  Meanwhile Maggie and Max and Dar meandered outside to the backyard of childhood dreams.  I could hear them playing and Dar talking.  I may have dozed off for a moment or two as well.

Unfortunately, the sound of breakable things being flung to the ground brought me back to reality.  Mayzie was NOT having a nap in no stupid crib and she was gonna show me by chucking ceramic baby keepsakes to the ground.  Booger!  So I scooped her up and was heading down the stairs when I heard this wafting through the air...

"Gramma DAR I peed and pooped in my pants."

Record screech inserted here....

She said, "you did what?"

"I peed and pooped in my pants."


By this time I had made it to the backyard to see Max jumping on the trampoline happily.  I could not for one second believe that he REALLY peed and pooped in his pants.  For the love of all that's potty trained....this child has literally NEVER had an accident in his pants since the FIRST day he potty trained.  No lie.  He peed his pants twice and pooped them once that day and that was it.  We're talking TWO YEARS of clean underpants people!  So why now?

I said to Max....."Did you REALLY pee AND poop in your pants?" with utter incredulation in my voice.  Because SURELY it was some silly joke he was playing.

To which he happily replied, as he was still jumping on the tramp.  "YEP!"

There he was, soaking wet, with a giant el doo-kay in his pantelones, and yet smiling at me like this was nothing to be concerned about.


When I asked him WHY he would do such a ridiculous thing he matter of factly replied...."It was a really long ladder to get down and I couldn't get down fast enough." (he was up in the tree house which is literally like 100 feet up in the air).

Needless to say I hustled his poo covered tookus home (making him stand in the car the whole way, shut it, we live around the corner) and threw him in the shower.  Sadly, his undies didn't survive (and they were my favorite pair).  It was so gross.  No really......GROSS!!

Got him cleaned up and happily back to Gramma Dars with nary a playtime missed.

The disturbing part here is....I'm pretty sure he woulda just gone about his playing with caca in the pants had I not ushered him home.

So really?  REALLY?  What in the world.

Good thing he's cute and has a wicked good booty shake, or he woulda been toast.

Poop smoosh and happy boys,


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Max's Museum Adventure

Last Friday Max got to go on his 2nd field trip ever.  Look, 'tis no secret that I'm none to pleased with his whole preschool experience thus far.  There are still NO wall decorations in the entire classroom for crying out loud.  These are preschoolers, they need stimulation and colorful things to look at.  But, that's niether here nor there.  It also doesn't help that he needs to know spanish to you know, talk to half the kids in his class, but whatever.  He thinks he's "going to school" every day and for the most part loves it (minus that really wierd 2 weeks where he went kicking, screaming and overall losing his damn mind into class each day, after I literally dragged him and carried him in.  That was NOT fun).  He has his friends that he deems worthy, the top of that list being Destiny (of course a girl) and Cesar.  They don't do any learning as far as I can see, just playing, but again, neither here nor there.

Where was I?  Oh yes, last Friday....field trip.  We got the opportunity to go to the Phoenix Childrens Museum.  Ride the big yellow school bus, pack a lunch and all. Max was so excited for this, and frankly, so was I.  I've never been, but heard it was pretty great.

And so, I share a few pics of the day.

First we met up at their playground and Max showed me the flowers HE planted and is growing.

Ready for his first bus ride. Let's not judge the spilled milk all over his shirt. Nor shall we mention the hideousness of my knees digging into the seat in front of me.

Max's beloved Destiny.  His favorite friend at school.
One of our first stops:  The "carwash".  This was really cute, and Max woulda stayed on that trike all day if allowed.
Then we spent a good amount of time on "the climber", it is a 3 story contraption of metal and tubes and walkways.  Oh, and giant bathtubs and silly boats and such.

I got my big booty all up in that thing. And at first it was ok. See, I'm smiling.

A shot from high up in the climber.
But then it got scary. I was seriously about to have a full out panic attack.  I was having to climb through small tunnel/tube things, and climb and crawl and there were a MILLION screaming children and seriously.....I was freaking out.  I was one breath away from a hyperventilate.  Thankfully, i got out and all was well.

Then we went through the jungle of pool foamy things hanging from the cieling.  That was fun.

On the other side....we found a book, just for Max.  I tried to read it to him, but he got bored.  He had other things to check out. Which clearly were NOT "his words".  See what I did there?
Took a little stop by the car tracks and the pickle car.

Then Max thoroughly enjoyed sticking little stuffed owls onto this thing and then they went up the wall and got flung off by hitting a fan.  A bit diabolical, but the boys LOVED watching them fly through the air.

Lunchbreak.  All Max could think about was how Jayden got to have gatorade and he didn't.  So, I gave in and got him some.  SHEESH!

Outside the lunchroom was this tubey contraption that had super compressed air.  You put little balls in it and watched them shoot around the tube and come flying out an opening.  I swear he woulda spent the rest of the day right there if he could.
A quick little splish splash of pink paint on the tree.  A run through the climber and then we were on our way.
All in all, a fun, successful field trip.  But, I won't lie to you.  I was EXHAUSTED.  This Mama is just too old for this stuff.  At least that's what I tell myself.  My poor kids, they're so screwed with the old lady as the Mom.
Oh well, at least they're Dad is young. Bahahahahahaha!
Crazy kids and climbing contraptions,

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

There goes THAT trend....

So, I bought an owl necklace on Saturday.  It's super cute, perfectly sized, blingy and fun.

This can only mean one or two things:
1. I'm finally cool.

or more likely

2. Looks like THAT trend is going out of style..... effective immediately.

Why the pessimism Allyson? You ask.

Well, let's just get one thing straight here....I am NOT what one would call a fashionista.  Furthest thing from it actually.  I mean, I'm not a fashion retard either.  I just live somewhere at the tail end of all things fashion.  If it came blazing into style in 2010, then I'll probably get around to jumping on that bandwagon in late 2012. For instance, those "bubble necklaces" that are all the rage right now, I have not a one in site.  I'm sure I'll find one on super clearance a year from now and finally own one, just in time for everyone else to throw theirs out.  Or how about the color coral, that hideous orangey/pinky hue that it is.   I think its wretched and awful in every way.  Of course, perhaps some time NEXT year it will suddenly grow on me and I'll be accenting my home in it.  It happened with grey, it can't be denied.  I'm just not one to jump quickly into anything.  I need to see it's sticking power and let it grow.

So anyway......I've seen the owls.  Everywhere with the owls.  Kitschy home decore items, shirts, necklaces, pins, jewelry, etc.  And frankly....I've purposely avoided them.  Owls are, you know, sorta creepy.  Plus, my totally wierd and hippie Grandma was WAY into owls back in the day.  Clearly they were NOT cool. Or, it could be the really unfortunate macrame owl that my Mom made sometime in the 70's that hung in our family room for many a year.  Yeah, that could be the deferring piece for me.

But then, they were still here...couple of years and they're STILL here.  Everywhere I turn, OWLS!  I even got Maggie a sassy shirt with an owl on it for pictures.

Cut to Saturday, we're meandering around Tempe Marketplace killing time.  We wandered into Charming Charlies.  HOLY CRAP! Charming Charlies, where have you been all my life?  And I am NOT a real jewelry person either.  Jere wanted to buy me everything he saw (it's a problem) and I just tried to keep him under control.  Anyway....under complete bejeweled mezmerization we happened upon "the owl", in all it's cutesy, whoo whoo glory.  It couldn't be denied.  It made big owly eyes at me and said "buy me!"

So folks, I bought it!  I wore it, I rocked it.

And that is why I am now apologizing to all you lovers of the owl out there.  This can only mean one thing...........

This trend is now all but OVER!

Peace the WHOOOOOO out!


Monday, November 5, 2012

Scenes from my i-phone

Max may or may not have a slight obsession with my phone.  Well, with ANYONES phone if he thinks it has games on it.  WOW!  I get asked at least a hundred times a day if he can play a game on my phone.  Generally the answer is no. I refuse to let my kid turn into a video game nerd.  Never mind that he's freshly 4 and already a super genius at all things electronic and can play the heck out of Temple Run and Angry Birds.  That's neither here nor there.  But for reals, he will ask anyone, the moment they cross our threshold if he can play a game on their phone.  Some are too kind and oblige him.  He forever remembers them.  Trust me, he super looks forward to my first lesson on Wednesdays, cause THAT girls Mom has an i-pad that she kindly lets him play on.  BEST 1/2 hour of his week.

Anywho....occassionally he sneaks my phone away, and then I find a literal crap ton of pictures that look like this:  Besides hilarious that is.

This kid slays me!
I also find pictures like this:
Though Maggie is smart enough to not really ask me to play games.  She uses the ruse of "can I just LOOK at pictures."  I have some gems of her singing to Mayzie because she didn't realize it was on video.  I also have some super gems of her singing in the shower.  Someday I'll post them to youtube so I can put them on here.  AWESOME!
Then there are the pics that I take.  This i-phone is REAL handy.  Hence bloody nose pictures at 3 a.m.  Just sayin.  So, a few that I've taken over the last couple weeks.
Two Sundays ago was our Primary program at church.  Maggie let me curl her hair and everything.  It was big doins, they had memorized lines and would be singing the whole program.  I won't lie, it was one of the cutest things EVER to see them standing up there singing their little hearts out.  They knew every word and Max....I can't.  It was just so cute.  Both of them did so great on their memorized lines as well.  I was a proud mama.  Too bad Jeres glasses had gone missing, so he was mostly with his eyes closed, head down, because his head hurt so bad.  I pretty much described the "show" to him like a blind person.

After church I took a pic of my pretty ladies.  I actually really love this picture.  Maggie is truly SUCH a good big sister to Mayzie. She loves her so much and takes such good care of her.  She's quite a little Mama, and is always very concerned at Mayzies well being.  And also....there is a clip in Maggies hair, it was a Sabbath miracle.  Well, one in which there was MUCH crying, whaling and gnashing of teeth.  But, I WON and Maggie looked great.
One day last week (it was mismatch day at school, in case you couldn't tell) the kids came into the kitchen from the garage giggling.  They told me to look at them, and this is what I found.  They were pretty pleased with their silliness.  Maggies wig is the one I wore in my show.  Maxs is, well, just hideous.
We went and got gellato as a family on Saturday night.  Maggie likes me to take her picture....always.  She managed to totally ruin this white shirt with chocolate drips.  Sad days.  But she IS pleased with her pose.
And lastly, I leave you with this:

Mayzie enjoyed her first taste of sugary magic.  She was QUITE a fan of the chocolately concoction.  And really, you know how sometimes you just happen to capture a moment and the picture is so perfect.  I mean, she's cute, she's always cute, but in this picture....she's perfection.  I love her and her sweetness oh so much.
Someone please remind me to tell you about the sad exchange between Maggie and I the other night about how I "love Mayzie more than Maggie."  Oh 5 year olds.....they know it all.
So, there it is....a sampling o' life at Casa VP, thru the eyes of the i-phone.
Crazy heads and gelatto lips,

Thursday, November 1, 2012

That One Time there was Halloween

Remember that one time that I actually wrote a blog? to. case you missed it, Halloween happened yesterday.  No really, it did. Maggie went through no more than 4 costumes until she found what she wanted, all in the 5 minutes before we needed to leave.  Whatever.

Max rocked a Knight in Shining Armour, thank goodness for Dana and her hand me downs.

Mayzie was the worlds cutest monkey.  What can I say.

And now.....our Halloween day in pictures.

Oh shut it, you want it, don't deny.

My Halloween began appropriately with blood, and A LOT of it!  At precisely 3:20 a.m. Max appeared ominously at my side letting me know he had a bloody nose.  Indeed....bloody face, arms, nose and otherwise.  His bed looked like a murder scene, not kidding.   Wait, you don't have your phone at the ready at 3:20 a.m. to capture such bloody moments?  Well, you are clearly not as cool as I.

By 7:50 a.m. we had Maggie in her 2nd costume choice of the morning.  I think she's an adorable little witch.  Emerson is cool enough to have spirit week during Halloween and therefore, one of the "spirit" days is costume day.  LOVE IT!  They even do a costume parade. (I missed it, let's not talk about it).
I have no pictures of our next stop.  Max got to go see an audiologist.  Good news, he didn't cry.  Better news, he only has moderate hearing loss in his right ear.  No big.  Actually, the Dr. said it is no big.  He has fluid buildup, we're gonna watch it. He should be fine.
Next stop....Jump Street with Max and his buddy Gavin.  Ok, let's be real....Gavin is the ONLY boy Max will conceed to play with.  Apparently he hates all other children, unless they are Maggie and HER friends.  So, yay for Gavin.  It was fun to play with them, and let them play.  After jumping about, we went to Chik Fil A for lunch and more playtime.  Then it was time to go home and prepare for lessons.
During which time (me teaching) Maggies friend Claire came over to play and they apparently stole my phone and took this picture.  Can we PLEASE talk about Maggies face here?  Dying!
After saying no to the bumble bee costume, rejecting the earlier witch and a brief flirtation with a Minnie Mouse Revisit, Maggie landed on the Snow Princess and a lot of glitter.  Max, as you can see is a rather dapper Knight in Shining Armor.  Silver Converse....please.  What more could I ask for?

These three are just really cute.  Which is good, because their sass factor almost overpowers the cute.

Mayzie the Monkey.  I can't, I just can't.  She's just so sweet.
Well, except for right here, she was a little upset with me and the Monkey at this moment.
But then she mostly looked like this all night.  Aaack, I wanna eat her for breakfast!
Then we went to the Ward block party and the kids played lots of fun games and got all the candy they needed.  AWESOME, no trick or treating required.

And cute Noelle our neighbor besty was an adorable Alice in Wonderland.

Then we walked down to our old Wards party in our old neighborhood, which made me sad for 10 seconds, because I still miss that neighborhood. Walked back to the church, and then drove to Gramma Dars to say hello and hang out for a minute.
We made it home by 8:45, got the kids showered and in bed, with only a minor (read MAJOR) meltdown by Maggie over he missing night night by 9:30. was a long and eventful day.
But, in the end, the kids were happy, excited about their candy and that's all that matters.
Glad to say, another Halloween is in the books.  Guess I should start prepping for Christmas, 'cause you know, it's gonna happen to.
Oh, and if I woulda worn the costume I thought about wearing, I woulda looked like this:
A "Mom" in the 50's.  This is my awesome costume from my awesome show. Someday I'll write about it. (ha)
And that my friends is our Day.
Goblins, ghouls and all that shish,

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Package of Perfection

FOUR months have come and gone so quickly, it's hard to believe.  Also hard to believe is that we ever lived for one minute without Mayzie in our world.  She truly is the greatest blessing, and for lack of a better term: A Package of PERFECTION!!

She had her big checkup the other day and of course passed with flying colors.  She is a big ol' healthy girl.

4 mos.
15 lbs.
Glorious chub everywhere

She absolutely LOVES her feet.  Many times we will go in thinking she's still asleep, only to find her wide awake, sucking on her toes and cooing to her invisible friends.  She's awesome.

Her 2 month stats were literally IDENTICAL to Maggies. Same weight, height everything.  But apparently Maggie got stunted between 2 and 4 and Mayzie went on a wild growth spree.  She's a full 2 lbs. and 2 inches bigger than Maggie at that age.  I KNEW she seemed fuller.  I only remember maggie being scrawny always.

Anywho...what can I say? 

My dearest, darlingest Mayzie, 

You are a gift.  A gift of joy, sweetness, happiness and love that we feel SO LUCKY to have.  You do nothing but exude peace, laughter, giggles, coos and wonder.  Your brother and sister can NEVER get enough loves, kisses and squeezes with you.  There are always "fights" over who gets to hold you.  You are so patient and let them drag you all around the house with hardly a squeak.  You also very patiently wait for bottles when it's time to eat.  You rarely cry, and if you do, it's for good reasons like people have the audacity to ignore you for 2 seconds, or put you down, or you're really hungry or tired.

Your face lights up whenever anyone enters the room and talks to you.  You have a ready smile and spectacular, sparkly eyes.  Anyone who meets you leaves feeling happier than when they came in.

You are rolling all around and rocking back and forth on your knees.  I fear that you will be crawling far sooner than i'm ready for.  Your feet and arms are in constant motion.  You reach for and grab onto things and can almost hold your bottle up by yourself.  All this movement has interrupted your perfect sleep patterns a bit, as you seem to wake up when you find yourself unexpectedly on your back. 

Thankfully, you're a VERY good sleeper.  I can put you down wide awake and you will "talk" yourself to sleep, or sometimes cry, but never very long.  You nap twice a day usually for 1 1/2 hours in the morning and 3 to 4 in the afternoon.  You have NO idea how much this simplifies my life.  THANKS!

Thank you for choosing us.  Thank you for coming to live in our house, in our family and for bringing so much joy with you.  You truly are our package of perfection.

Love always,


Monday, August 13, 2012

Firsts. When did THIS happen? kids went and grew up on me and I was caught unawares!

Seriously, one day they're teeny babies and then the next, they're off to school, and rolling over.

This week was a banner week at MVP house.  Mayzie started rolling all over town (also known as the house), Max started preschool and Maggie started Kindegarten.  CRAZY!!

So, because you've all been just knocking down my door for pictures (snort) I will pleasure your eyeballs with our "firsts."

Age 3 (4 in October)
44" Tall
49.2 lbs.
Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite Show:  Power Rangers

He's pretty pleased with his SpongeBob backpack, 'cause "It's funny."

This is what he looked like on day one at 2:00 p.m.
Apparently that first day of preschool, plus a swim with Auntie Julie was enough to wear him right out.  But please do note that he still has complete control over BOTH remotes.  My kids have a wierd obsession over who gets the remotes.

This is her go to spot and pose.
Killing me here.  What is she 20?

Age 5
46" tall
56 lbs.
Favorite Food:  Salad and Pizza
Favorite show: All things Nickalodean

Though this pic was not taken on Maxs first day, he insisted on grabbing his backpac and being part of the pic.  Love these kids.

On Monday we took the kids to In n Out for a back to school dinner.  'Cause we're healthy like that. YO!  It was fun to just sit and eat with them and enjoy their random thoughts.  I even let Maggie splurge and get rootbeer.  It should be known I do NOT believe in the soda drinking.  They have literally had soda like 3 times in their life, and that was only at a birthday or something.  But, this rootbeer was a BIG hit with them both.

See...another FIRST.
"Mom, this rootbeer is DEE-LISH"

Apparently fries mean NOTHING to her!

So, we are officially a school family.  It's wierd.  Why do I still feel like I'm 18, and yet there are these little people who think I have it all together and are depending on me.  Did my parents feel this way?  I just can't imagine they ever did.  OY!  Being a grown up is scarey.  I wish I could have the innocence of these 3 sweet kiddos, unaware that school lasts FOREVER and kinda sucks, And that those french fries and rootbeer aren't free, and that life isn't just play dates and swim parties.  hahaha


Happy School Year to you all.