Sunday, December 2, 2012

You did WHAT????

Hmmmmmmmm.

So this afternoon I took the kids over to Gramma Dars for some visiting and playing. Jere needed to work on homework, which means....he needed silence. And we hadn't been over to visit Dar in awhile.

The kids "helped" Dar go through a tiny tiny portion of her Christmaspalooza and talked to her, as did I. Then, I took Mayzie upstairs to see if i could convince her to take a little nappy nap in the sweet nursery Dar has up there.  I layed her down and waited.  Meanwhile Maggie and Max and Dar meandered outside to the backyard of childhood dreams.  I could hear them playing and Dar talking.  I may have dozed off for a moment or two as well.

Unfortunately, the sound of breakable things being flung to the ground brought me back to reality.  Mayzie was NOT having a nap in no stupid crib and she was gonna show me by chucking ceramic baby keepsakes to the ground.  Booger!  So I scooped her up and was heading down the stairs when I heard this wafting through the air...

"Gramma DAR I peed and pooped in my pants."

Record screech inserted here....

She said, "you did what?"

"I peed and pooped in my pants."

THIS GUY!!


By this time I had made it to the backyard to see Max jumping on the trampoline happily.  I could not for one second believe that he REALLY peed and pooped in his pants.  For the love of all that's potty trained....this child has literally NEVER had an accident in his pants since the FIRST day he potty trained.  No lie.  He peed his pants twice and pooped them once that day and that was it.  We're talking TWO YEARS of clean underpants people!  So why now?

I said to Max....."Did you REALLY pee AND poop in your pants?" with utter incredulation in my voice.  Because SURELY it was some silly joke he was playing.

To which he happily replied, as he was still jumping on the tramp.  "YEP!"

There he was, soaking wet, with a giant el doo-kay in his pantelones, and yet smiling at me like this was nothing to be concerned about.

WHAT THE HELL?

When I asked him WHY he would do such a ridiculous thing he matter of factly replied...."It was a really long ladder to get down and I couldn't get down fast enough." (he was up in the tree house which is literally like 100 feet up in the air).

Needless to say I hustled his poo covered tookus home (making him stand in the car the whole way, shut it, we live around the corner) and threw him in the shower.  Sadly, his undies didn't survive (and they were my favorite pair).  It was so gross.  No really......GROSS!!

Got him cleaned up and happily back to Gramma Dars with nary a playtime missed.

The disturbing part here is....I'm pretty sure he woulda just gone about his playing with caca in the pants had I not ushered him home.

So really?  REALLY?  What in the world.

Good thing he's cute and has a wicked good booty shake, or he woulda been toast.

Poop smoosh and happy boys,

Allyson

6 comments:

Laraine Eddington said...

Sometimes, playtime is just too enthralling to quit for boring old things like going to the bathroom.

jen said...

Maximillian. Dude. Use the potty. It's always the best choice. Next time Mommy might paddle that poopy behind.

alison said...

chandler had a groww habit of doing that this past summer because he didn't want to stop playing. i was all, "DUUUUUUDE, you're almost 5. mommy does NOT clean up adult-sized poo!". good thing you lived right around the corner....since we live 900 miles from EVERYWHERE, chan was outta luck if we didn't have a change of clothes and had to ride home all nudist-like. (which i secretly think he enjoyed).

alison said...

p.s. groww=s gross. apparently i can't type ;)

Amanda said...

seriously.. we are up to ears in poop here.. but it's from a 2.5 yr old and a 6 mo old. not sure if i can handle a 5 yr old. plus. where's an update mama!!!?!??!?!? it's been wayyyy too long and I need some MVP to read... any more projects going on?

Stephanie said...

Ok, Dennon just had to come check on me to see if I was ok because he thought I was crying when I was just laughing so hard! You are the funniest writer ever.

My last child decided to be the one who won't poop in the potty--he's killing me!