Thursday, February 28, 2013

The REST of the story

Right, so the other day I decided it was high time that my little hermit child of never ending I-pad obsession get out and play with a real live person.  Seriously, Max is so weird.  He will play with Maggie and her friends until the cows come home, but if I ask him if he wants to play with ANYONE else, especially, um, you know, boys, he freaks out and says NO WAY!!!  He would MUCH prefer the i-pad. And I do mean, MUCH prefer.  He wakes me up almost every morning (NOT COOL) to ask if he can play on it.  He obsesses over how he'll play with it after school. He makes sure he gets more time than Maggie.  It's insane. BUT, that is NOT why I'm writing this post.  I am writing to say, we made actual human contact and he went on a playdate to his friend Gavins, and then I took them to Chik-fil-A and THEN I took them to the park. And HERE is where the story gets interesting.

But first, a picture, because that is fun:

Max and his cute buddy Gavin
(the only boy Max will concede to play with) 


And that would be my ridiculously adorable and growing up WAY to fast Mayzie. I know, I'm sorry, my apologies for keeping her goodness from whats left of my blog readership.

So, as I was saying. After our Chik-fil-A excursion, it was off to the park. Truly a more glorious day there never has been.  It was sunny, yet cool, and nary a sweat drop to be found, even standing and playing in the sun. PERFECT!  The breeze was blowing and the boys were ready to play!

There is a little park not far from our house, in a neighborhood that could, well, perhaps be called ghetto. BUT, the park is all brand new and nice and super fun.  As we approached, I was only a little apprehensive, as there were some people there, and they were a smoosh on the less than savory side.  But, i held my head up high and decided to move forward anyway.  The boys ran for the playground and I pushed Mayzie in the stroller, bringing up the rear.

The "people" were a totally skanky Mom who was about 30 years past her prime to be wearing the special, backless t-shirt she was wearing, and her daughter, who was about 30 lbs. over her prime and freshly post baby to be wearing the extremely short and tight shorts and shirt she was wearing.  There was a newborn and a 1 year old in the picture as well.  Anyway....

The boys were climbing on some equipment just inside the playground, while "they" were over on the swingset. The MOM was swinging with her boyfriend, or pimp or whoever.  I was standing in the grass just watching the boys, sort of staring mindlessly and maybe a little taking in the "situation".  Whereupon the daughter (and mother to the young babies) wandered over with a cigarette dangling in her mouth and a beer in her hand and holding a kid(it WAS 1 p.m.).  Yes, I was judging because she was smoking WITH a baby in her arms. BUT then....she took a swig of her beer, swished it around in her mouth and then SPIT IT right on the playground. Where.children.PLAY! In front of me, and directly next to her one year old son, and by my kids.  I was a bit horrified, and grossed out and bothered. So yes, my face may have looked like this:

Or perhaps like this:

Or even just my "normal look:
Though I was really hoping that it looked more like this:
My just, "oh hey, what's up, I'm not staring at you look."  Oh, and also, can we keep in mind that I WAS wearing sunglasses, so you couldn't totally see my eyes.

Unfortunately, my face does NOT mask well when I feel disgust, and well, apparently, I made a face, and she did NOT like it.  She looked up and said "oh, sorry." Then grabbed her kid and headed over toward her Mom, at which point, Mom said "Hey, the baby is hungry."  response:"There is a botttle in the back of the stroller for it." Mom:" You're don't wanna give it your boob?" "NOOOOOO!"
Then she stormed over to the other side of the park and yelled, "Yeah, I know, I'm such a BAD Mom for drinking."

In my head I said, well yes, you are, for drinking in a public park and ONE IN THE AFTERNOON, and for smoking in your babies face, and for wearing those shorts, because THAT is a crime in and of itself.....TO.MY.EYES!!  But, I just stared at the boys and pretended to be super interested in them.

A minute or two later the girl headed back over near us, but then left quickly. I take no blame here, I was NOT looking at her, cause I do NOT do confrontation.  But then I hear, talking at the top of their lungs....."You do whatever the F you want. What did that white bitch (they were white, but wanted to be something else, ifyaknowwhatimean) say? You don't give a F what she says. Bitches like that don't earn any respect, they get NO respect. You go over there and do whatever the F you want."  There was more, but I don't remember.  I was to busy employing my super stealth look away, ignore and act interested in anything but them techniques.  Plus, my ears had glazed over after the 10th F bomb or so.

I won't lie, I was a little nervous.  Last thing I needed was a perfectly good park day ruined with a throwdown and a possible shiv to the spleen.

Just sayin.

Thankfully, they left not long after and we were able to enjoy a little more time in peace and quiet, minus the creepy men who wandered through, and that moment where I had to allow two boys to act indecently in public.  What? They BOTH had to pee RIGHT THEN.  So, I let them, but NOT in the playground part.  See....way classier than that hoochie Mom.

Shanks and pee pee,

Allyson

 



 

4 comments:

The Atomic Mom said...

This is my anxiety about going to the park ... who will we meet there? Some parks are better than others. I always try and invite a bunch of our friends so that we out number any skeevy people that we might come across. But seriously, it's a good thing she didn't nurse her baby. Just what that baby needed, a beer and a milkshake. But I have to say, you r description of this family was a total "People of Walmart" moment. Scary, scary.

Bryson Jones said...

Thank you for the good laugh before bed. WOW there are some freaks and bad parents out there. Still laughing at your "faces montage".

Dian Shumway said...

Hilarious, scary and sad... all at the same time! They might not give you any respect, but they'll never have it. Obviously they don't even have respect for themselves! Ugggg! So glad the kids had a good time inn spite of the "trash" and that you were able to avoid confrontation! :) Love all your faces! Illustrations really add to stories! :)

Laraine Eddington said...

You are one of my favorite storytellers.