Friday, March 25, 2011

Will the REAL Allyson please stand up.....

Here's the deal.  I'm beginning to wonder who the heck I am these days.  Like really, where is the real me, and can she please come back.

Not only have I come to a grinding stand still on any productivity, but far worse than taht......I've done something I didn't think EVER, EVER possible.  Something that I have always deemed too gross to even try.


I am a very cleanly person.  As in, I MUST shower EVERY day or DIE!  No really, die.  I can not shower at night and call it good.  Even if I did shower at night, I'd still have to shower in the morning to feel clean.  I washed my hair EVERY.SINGLE.DAY my whole adult life.  I can't speak for my childhood, as I was tragically hairless until I was nearly 3 and then, well, kids are gross and there is no accounting for what bathtime situations were happening with 7 kids in the house (though I can say this with authority, going barefoot has ALWAYS grossed me out, me no likey being dirty).  And I recall a time or two in adolescence where I may have skipped a day.  BUT, by and large.....wash hair every day kind of gal.

As I've aged, and lost buttloads of hair, I have relaxed and turned it into an every other day kind of thing.  Washing hair that is, NOT showering.  Except when i'm working out, then of course we're back to the every day drudgery of washing and doing my hair.

ANYWAY....point here is.  I like clean, feel clean, smell clean, BE CLEAN!

Well, just last week, I fell asleep on the couch late at night.  Jere got up and asked if I was coming.  But c'mon.....I'm SOOOOO comfortable, and ASLEEP.  So, i ended up sleeping on the couch (which may or may not happen a lot) until 6:30 in the morning.  Fully clothed, bra, hat, makeup, everything.  When I got up and finished dealing with kids, etc.  it was pretty much time to take Maggie to school.  So, I took Maggie to school in yesterdays clothes, AND makeup.  And then...I ran errands. 

Fresh as a dirty shirt.  Here I am in all my "yesterday" glory.  And yes, yes I did take a picture, because I'm retarded and I think.  I'm gonna blog about this.  Don't judge.

Anyway, I did come home later and completely shower and do my hair, but point is.  WHO AM I?  I don't do that.   My besty Angie, she totally does that.  I'm sure alot of you do.  Just not me.

Moving on.

I have been very grateful for the rise in hat popularity, and the fact that after 36 years of life, I got over myself and my insecurities enough to wear one.  It's  a real lifesaver, and many times, on "unwash hair" day I throw on a hat.

Well, I've worn the hat at least 3 times in the last week.  Which correlates directly with me not getting into the shower until nearly 3:00 each day.  Again, WHO AM I?  Can the real me please come back. 

Yesterday.  And I was feeling SO saucy that I didn't even put eyeshadow on.  Oh the hutzpa!  And guess what, my students survived.  WAIT, a few weeks ago, I didn't even put ANY makeup on.  That was a shocker day.
Have I made it abundantly clear yet, I'm sort of a freak for never going without makeup or hair?  Yeah.

Which brings me to marks the THIRD day IN.A.ROW that I haven't washed my hair.  Which frankly, I'm sure in the HISTORY of my 38 years has NEVER happened.  Well, minus the tragic non hair years.  But even then, I'm sure my good Mother scrubbed my bald noggin. 

I know, I know. I'm horrified myself. You probably need to unfriend me, or hide in fear. I get it. I disgust me too.

Hey look, at least it's a BROWN hat today.
This just shows me, I'm woefully in need of some cooler, more fun, blingier hats.

Oh, and also.....that I need to get a grip.

Has anyone seen the real me?  I seem to have misplaced her somewhere.

Dirty and lost,



Kristina P. said...

I shower daily, 98% of the time. If I really only have to run a couple of errands, where no one I know will see me, I might throw on a hat and that's it. That's right. Naked.

The Atomic Mom said...

I would have never guessed you would do the hat thing. I am like you though, shower, wash hair, take off, put on new make up every day. There have been very few days I've gone w.o makeup. Most recently when I had stomach flu and could not move to save my life. Other than that, I am your painted lady friend. Estee Lauder, me and Mary Kay are BFFs for life!

azandersens said...

Weird.I actually got up and got dressed and showered before 8 today. Did we switch places? I, too, have to shower every day, but I've done the every-other hair wash for a couple years now, and it has changed my life. It's okay.

Ryan and Lori Jones said...

I went a whole week once without washing my hair....disgusting (maybe) but an awesome time saver and my hair didnt even look bad thanks to baby powder. It just sucks up all the oil! BTW I do shower every day tho I just HATE washing my hair its such a pain. You might switch to the dirty hair side of life...its pretty awesome!

The Wizzle said...

Dude, it's called prioritizing! Something's gotta give, you know, you can't work out AND have a clean house AND make dinner AND play with your kids AND decorate your house AND read your scriptures AND blog AND be fabulous every single day of your life. You can pick, like, maybe 3 things every day.

Showering often doesn't make the list for me. I feel better if I do, for sure, and I Like to shave my legs every day which kind of surprises me, but realistically it just cant happen every day.

Bree Flake said...

Ok you totally work the dirty hair hat for reals... and i'm jealous. That is all. Hi five for your cuteness!

alison said...

girl, i woke up this morning and ran...and then did NOT shower because we were going horseback riding and i felt that was just a waste of time if i was just going to end up dirtier than i started! now, i'm sitting on the couch recovering from being thrown from a horse and having my foot stepped STILL no shower. i may have to throw my couch away after today ;)

LanaBanana said...

All I could think after you discussed going about your day in the clothes, bra, makeup and hair as the day before is that Miss Ranelle must've been like, "oooh, walk of shame..."

I mean, that's completely like you partied all night, woke up in a strange house and went straight to work. Legit.

Eve said...

Well, at least you look super cute in a hat! ;)

Yeah, a couple of years ago I did something that I'm still trying to live down... I was rushing the kids to school, then a doctor's appointment and wound sitting in the lobby before I realized that I was still wearing my SLIPPERS! And worse still - even though I was embarrassed and couldn't believe I had done such a thing, I was incredibly comfortable and found myself scheming of ways I could continue to wear them all day.

Minky {moo} said...

Oh heavens. I used to shower twice a day! Before bed and first thing in the morning. Now I schedule my showers with the hubs or sneak them...I am lucky I don't sweat a lot!

The most disgusting thing about this post is how GORGEOUS you look unshowered and wearing that hat! Are you shrinking? I think you are...skinny minnie! Seriously, you look beautiful.

Kellie said...

Your hat is totally cute, I need one like it. Clean is good, but fun is better.

Teresa said...

How CUTE you look, dang girl I'm jealous totally.