This has been one seriously crazy ride....the pregnancy, the after pregnancy...OY! You guys....you won't believe the ridiculousness I've faced in the last 2 weeks.
Oh, don't worry, I will share the birth story of Miss Mayzie tomorrow. I'm SWEARING it to you, that way I'm held accountable.
It begins at 4 a.m. Wednesday morning April 4th. I had sent Mayzie to the nursery for the night because I wanted me some REAL sleep. Well, as much sleep as one can get on a crappy hospital bed. Anyway...4 a.m. and suddenly I'm rocked awake with raging gas pains (what, I'm here to be honest) and this major pain in my left calf and into my foot. I just kept thinking....why does my leg hurt? WHAT is that HURT in my leg? It felt like this ache and OUCH and I couldn't move it very well. So, when the nurse came in at 7 a.m. I told her: "I'm sure it's nothing, but my leg is realllllly hurting and I don't know why." To her credit, she said we should definitely order a scan of my leg. It took nearly the whole day, but finally at 2:00 they wheeled me off to do a scan/ultrasound.
The tech scanned away for awhile and then sent me on my way. At this point I just wanted to go home. I was losing my mind in the hospital and just wanted my house. We had to wait until nearly 5:00 for the results, but finally, my hardworking nurse got the results and "NO CLOT." Yay, that's what I wanted to hear. Let's GO!
So, I went home, with this sore leg, limping and ready for the next phase of babydom. But, I woke up on thursday in more pain. The only way I could explain it to anyone was that it felt like someone had tied a tournaquet around my knee as tightly as they could and my leg from the knee down felt like it was going to explode. You couldn't touch it without excruciating pain. I could barely walk. Something was obviously wrong, but I'm prideful and I do not like to believe that anything is really wrong with me. But, people prevailed on me and made me call my Dr.'s office. They said I needed to go into the ER. Not believing them enough, i called my sweet neighbor that is a Labor and Delivery nurse, when i explained what was going on, she told me i definitely had something wrong and I HAD to go in. I just cried, and cried. The last place I EVER wanted to go was to the ER or back to the hospital.
We left all the kids with Auntie Julie and off we went to Banner Desert ER. To say it was an awful experience would be an understatement of the year. The pain was at a level I've never experieneced. I was just crying. I couldn't sit, i couldn't stand, I just couldn't function, it hurt so bad. They finally called me back, asked my symptoms, i explained everything. The P.A. came in and said, "we just did a scan yesterday and there wasn't a clot." I asked if perhaps they could have missed it. Clearly something was wrong. He assured me they couldn't have missed it and they were not going to look again. He also said my leg wasn't swollen, so that meant I didn't have a clot either. P.S. My leg was TOTALLY swollen. They then sent me to wait for "lab work." We waited FOREVER and weren't even sure what we were waiting for. We were waiting amongst crazy peopel, heroin addicts coming off the drug, swearing and yelling, some woman that who knows what was wrong with her. They gave me a percoset, which all it did was make me itch and give me a good 5 minute nap. Didn't touch the pain in my leg.
Ok, so finally they took me back to triage, blew out two veins trying to put in an IV, for which they couldn't tell me WHY they were giving me an IV. Took two mini vials of blood to check my potassium and electrolytes and then put a bag of fluid in the IV. I asked why they were doing that, and again, they had no idea they said "just in case." Then they came back and said, your labs are just fine. The doctor never bothered to come in, only the P.A. He came back, said I was ok. I said, "so what you're saying is, I have a really big muscle cramp?" He nodded yes, told me to ice it and heat it take motrin and get a massage. So, we came home with no answers for my extreme pain. I had Julie massage my leg for 1/2 hour that night and went to bed in just as much pain.
The pain continued to get worse and worse. I literally got to a point that I could barely drag my leg around and walk. I have a very high pain tolerance, but here I was popping 4000 mg of Tylenol a day and crying because it hurt so bad.
Sunday morning (Easter), I woke up and literally just laid in my bed, tears streaming down my face because I couldn't move. I went to try and get up and could not put any weight on my leg at all. It was just more than I could bare. Jere was beside himself and insisted that we were going back to the ER. Only a different ER, because clearly Desert didn't care.
Somehow I got myself out to the car and we went to Gateway ER. Oh.my.gosh! It was SUCH a different experience. It was beautiful, and we got right in and had private rooms and it was clean and people cared. I was laying on a bed, a DOCTOR came in and asked me what was going on. He looked at my leg for 1/2 a second and said, "is it that one, because it's swollen." THANKS for seeing that doc. He told me they needed to re do the scan; again...thanks for doing that. No IV's, no unnecessary things, just listen to me and do what is needed.
I was taken for another ultrasound. The tech really took her time and she spent A lot of time on one certain area by my knee. I knew then that she had found something, even though she didn't say anything.
Awhile later, the Dr. came back in to my room and said "so that blood clot you didn't have that you DO have is causing this pain."
Yep, I have a stupid blood clot in my left calf. And, it hurts like a freaking banshee! Thanks Banner Desert, you coulda killed me, I really appreciate that. Bastard people!
They immediately gave me shots of Lovenox (like heparin) and then told me I would have to start taking coumadin. I met with a social service person who set up my info to go to a coumadin clinic and sent in my prescriptions and just helped me sorta understand what was going on. I felt relief at least knowing that there was a reason for the pain and that I was on the right track. Then i felt extreme anger at the other ER for not even being willing to consider that they'd missed something.
It's been a very exhausting, difficult and interesting week. Thank goodness for my Mom who has just put herself all up in my bidness. She's been here to drive me to appointments, help with the kids, clean, do laundry or whatever. In the shape I was in, the pain i was in, I literally could not have done it without her. So much gratitude for her and for sweet friends willing to take the kids to play, do carpool and just help in any way.
Tuesday i had my first appt with the coumadin clinic. The tech called me back and proceeded to tell me that I could expect to be on the medication for 6 - 9 months. MONTHS! I nearly fell off the chair, I was just NOT expecting that. She then told me I would have to be on the shots for longer than expected and come to the clinic twice a week (it's really far from my house) for awhile while they got my numbers right. I asked when the pain would go away, she just shrugged and said "some people it's weeks, some months." I wasn't prepared to hear that either. I was ready for it to be gone THEN. It was all a little overwhelming and I may have cried. Mostly I was just confused. WHAT was i s'posed to be doing...could I walk, move around, take care of my kids, do the workshop? The poor girl didn't quite know what to do with me. But they all seem to make it like it's not such a big deal. I was like.....ummmm what about the clot, can it still break free. She said "that is always a possibility." NICE!
Anyway, this is long enough. Just know, i'm giving myself shots twice a day until Monday at least. Taking coumadin daily. Having to pump because I am not allowed to nurse while on the shots. That makes me saddest, because this was the first time that nursing was working and Mayzie was doing so well. And, pumping sucks. And, the best news is this....as of today my leg feels SO much better. I can actually touch it, I can walk almost normally and I have hope that it will be better.
I know that clearly I needed to go through this experience to teach me to slow down. To help me allow others to help me and realize that I'm not infallible. And also to help Jere to help me more. I have to believe there is a purpose for me to go through this.
Tomorrow....a birth story.
Clots and crying,
Hey, It's Okay
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