Friday, September 19, 2008

And what have you

So yesterday, as I was preparing to upload some pics of Maggie to send to Jere, I decided to take a few retarded pics of myself. He's always saying that he'd like to get some pics sent to him at work, just for fun. And he's mentioned receiving something "fun". So, I quickly snapped three totally hideous pictures of myself, including this one, and one picture of my cleavage. Oh just get over it people, it was the same cleavage you would all see if you were standing there talking to me in person. There was nothing overly risque about it at all, I promise. But, apparently, for whatever reason, that ONE picture, the innocent cleavage picture opened up on his computer screen in JUMBO size. Like, the entire screen was my bubbies. He said he nearly died, and shut it as fast as he could, but not before a co-worker said, "uh, WHAT was that?" hahahahahahahah and THAT'S what I get for trying to make my husband happy at work. HA!!
In other news, just as I was logging on here, a headline from my AOL server popped up, and it said "10 things noone should ever wear" or something like that, and it displayed a picture of jellies. All I have to say to that is....."I concur." Those are the grossest, worst shoe trend ever there was. The end.
I was just at Dixies and she was complaining that I hadn't updated. Frankly, I just don't know WHAT to update. I feel as if I have nothing of interest to say. I rarely do anything of interest, and my clever thoughts seemed to have flown out the window as of late. But, if you want to read the sweetest thing ever, just click on her link over there on the right and read her last post. Good hell, she hit the freaking jackpot with her hubby this time around.
So, let's be honest....I have EXPLODED. No, I do NOT exaggerate my friends...exploded! I'm freaking huge! I only had 4 pair of pants to start with, and I'm terrified to admit that I may only have this weekend until they're all done going over my grande size keister. It's a wrestling match at best to get any of them on, much less buttoned. This kid just popped out like a man size maniac in the last week. I stopped by my Moms last night, and she was like "well, I can SEE the baby." Uh yeah, HOW CAN YOU MISS HIM? With Maggie, I never suffered the, "i can't bend over, or the i can't breathe" issues. But Max is another story...ummm, I can't bend over, 'cause if I do, I'm breathing like I just hiked freaking Mt. Everest for the next 10 minutes. It's painful to bend, it's tiring, and did I mention, difficult? Then, there is the breathing thing, or the rolling over in bed thing. I'm sorry to be complaining, but this is new to me. So, really all i want to do is sit around in my underwear, 'cause it's the only thing not constricting me, and let my butt get bigger. I'm seriously sad to admit that I'll probably be wearing workout pants or my one pair of gouchos for the last month. How embarassing!! What the heck will I wear next weekend to closing night of Blackbeard? Seriously, when one was already "blessed" with hips as wide as mine, who said it was ok for them to spread even more? UGH! And i don't EVEN want to hear that maybe I shouldn't eat the 12 cookies, 'cause WHATEVER!!
So, on Wednesday I had the lovliest of afternoons. Miss Jenee threw herself a birthday lunch for her and 42 of her closest friends. I love her for that. The funny thing is, she could have invited 100 and THEY would have all been her besties too. She just has a knack for being everyones friend. Anyway, we had a luncheon at Sweet Cakes on Main, and it was the funnest time! So fun to sit and visit with so many different friends, enjoy DELICIOUS food and goodies and be without children. I'm afraid that might have been the best, I kid...the salad was the best part. But for real...Jere took the day off work 'cause he lost his voice and he sort of needed to rest it so he could have it for the show. So, I left Brooklyn, Maggie AND Morgan with him for just a couple hours (Morgan was only 45 minutes). Apparently, Mr. Momhood is NOT his thing. He had sent me 3 text messages while I was gone (I didn't get until on my way home) BEGGING me to come home. He couldn't take the girls fighting, crying or whatever. Ahhh, how nice for him to get a wee taste of my daily life. Maggie did end up taking her longest nap in forever, it was nearly 3 hours long. Anyway, I do appreciate him sacrificing his sanity for a couple of hours so I could enjoy girl time and good food. And good news...tomorrow night I get to enjoy MORE girl time and good food when we continue the weeklong Jenee celebration and a few of us go out for dinner and a movie. ::smiles:: I love friends.
I took the vansy in this morning for its first lube/oil. They filled the tires with air, and holy crap, what a difference that makes. I hope I see a difference in my gas mileage now. I LOVE my van, I truly do, but it's sort of kicking my butt in the gas and payment department. And sadly, I hardly go anywhere. Can you imagine if I drove all over creation? Sheesh! I HATE that I have to really stop and reconsider if going somewhere is worth the gas. I don't just pop over to my sisters house, 'cause, uh, that would cost to much. I realllllly think about it if I ever go to Porters, 'cause it costs like 8 - 10 bucks in gas round trip for me. How awful and sad is that? Maybe that's a good thing for Lana, 'cause me and the girls might be over there like every other day if the gas weren't a factor. Anyway, I hate that money and the lack thereof dictates my whole life. I hate stressing about how I'm gonna get something paid. I hate worrying about it ever, and I know I'm not alone here, so don't think I'm all betty boo hoo, I'm just saying. MONEY IS GAY AND IT SUCKS! Why can't we all just get along here. Oh, and why can't I just have FIVE mroe students? That would help A LOT! Sigh.
Well, this is retardedly too long, so I must end it now. If you're still here and reading, congrats, you're way super cool!
Shout out to Miss Erica Sue Law Gunn! Happy Birthday today! Love you tons!!!
I'm out!


Andrea said...

Ahh I think you should have posted the picture you sent Jere. That storie is too funny! Hang in there you only have 1 month left. I am really going to call you and we need to get together before you deliver.

Dixiechick said...

You sure had a lot to say for having nothing to say. :) I agree with Andrea, I was waiting for the pic you sent Jere in life size form. And P.S. I see nothing wrong with wearing gaucho's or pajama bottoms for the last month of your pregnancy...I always do that. :)

Jamie&Gina Adams Family said...

Enquiring minds want to know why you did not post the cleavage picture on the blog!

I can see Jere now squealing and frantically trying to shut off his monitor. HILLARIOUS!

We miss you...

As a side note, everyone, and I mean everyone has been RAVING about Jere's AMAZING performance in Blackbeard! We are so happy for y'all.

Can't wait to see you soon.

LanaBanana said...

I'm all about posts where you don't sugar coat things. I mean, sure, I have lots of times where I'm in a great mood, and my post reflects that. I'm not hiding secret demons. However, sometimes I want to go on about something bugging me. (Like, car, computer or money worries!!) And I like reading that part of people's lives too because then I feel like I know them a little better. And I feel like I'm not alone. :) And you should proudly wear the gauchos. :) I'll be joining you soon enough. ugh.

Greg and Tammy said...

I think I had ONE pair of pants the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy. Like you really want to buy more clothes when you are large and in charge, right?? At least that's how I felt. Anyway, your blog cracks me up b/c I can hear your voice in my head, when I read your posts... I love the energy and animation!

Tara LaRue said...

You make me laugh! I thoroughly enjoy you and love you mucho!

Erock! said...

Well, maybe you can do what Jody did. For the last 2 months of her pregnancies she would wear my shorts. I have to admit that did a real number on my ego. Gaucho's it is!!! You are funny Ally.

Court & Julie and kids said...

I found your comment on Sabrina's blog and I am so glad I did. For someone who has nothing to say, you sure say it funny. I will definitely check in on you often---if ya don't mind. Good luck as you count down. How much longer?