For the record....what I'm about to talk about is NOT something I'm proud of. In fact, it points out a glaring flaw in my parenting. BUT, I do feel the need to talk about it, and see if anyone else out there suffers this issue.
Let's get something straight from the get go here. I do NOT claim to be the best parent, or even a great parent for that matter. I claim to be a human, a deeply flawed human and one trying to figure out how to take care of these little people entrusted to me and do as little damage as possible.
I'm just gonna talk about one of my biggest flaws for a moment. 'Cause, well, it's just not rational I think, and maybe by talking about it...I'll get better at it. It's called...middle of the night parenting. You know, when you're DEAD asleep and then suddenly there is a kid in your face crying about something, or there is a kid screaming out from their bed, or whatever. And in my case, said kid is Miss Sassy pants and she is particularly demanding in the middle of the night.
Generally she wakes up telling us her leg hurts. But that is usually accompanied by A LOT of crying. Mostly because she's really still asleep and therefore, there is NO amount of reasoning or consoling that does any good. She just bawls uncontrollably and demands you do things JUST HOW SHE WANTS it. There is a request for an icepack, which I will go get, but then it's not the right ice pack, or I haven't put the towell on correctly. This will make her yell at me. To which I usually yell back. Then, I don't put the icepack in the right place, or on her leg in the right way. Or, she insists I lay next to her on her bed, where there is literally not a sliver of space for me. But she WON'T hear it from me. Herein is where my great flaw lies. I become totally irrational myself. I react to this child like she's somehow aware of what she's doing and also NOT 4 but 24. I get so angry and frustrated by her yelling, crying and demands that I yell back. I feel total ICK toward her and can't deal at all. It turns into a ridiculous battle of wills that goes nowhere.
I hate that I do that. And even in my half asleep stupor and my total irrational brain, I know it's so wrong. Yet, I can't seem to fix it. Does ANYONE else ever have this problem? Am I the only sucky parent out there that does this?
Because let me tell you...Jere, for all his patience struggles during waking hours is downright magical at middle of the night parenting. Something takes over him and he becomes this quiet, soothing, loving, smooth talking daddy that can get Maggie to calm down in an instant. He's so good it even makes me wanna snuggle up and calm down. In truth...he's FAR better at dealing with Maggie on all levels of discipline and calming than I ever am.
What brings this up is...the other night Jere was out with some friends. I was sound asleep, when at Midnight Maggie showed up at my bedside, crazy, crying, snarling and uncontrollable that she was afraid, oh and also her leg hurt. I pulled myself out of my stupor and tried to have her come in bed with me to calm her down. But, because she's crazy town and really asleep, she wouldn't have it. She just cried and screamed at me louder. Then I left her and went to her bed, because I'm mature like that, and also irrational. She came following into her room and yelled at me more. So, I got her an icepack, which of course I didn't do the towell right, and I didn't place it on her leg right, etc. etc. By this time I was at my, "I'm gonna completely lose it level." So, I got my phone and texted Jere a message somehwere along the lines of...."Where the hell are you? Maggie is losing her freaking mind and I'm NOT dealing well. GET HOME NOW." After which I may or may not have told Maggie to just be quiet. Then she cried harder and started to ask for her Daddy. I was asking for him too, and then we were both crying. To his credit, he came right home. I went to bed, he talked to her for a minute and then she fell asleep.
Seriously.....the rule at this house shall forevermore be....Mom is NOT available middle of the night. Take it to Dad.
Am I really the only horrid, sucky parent out there that can't deal with thier kid in the middle of the night? Please...do tell.
Sleepless and sorry,
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