Oh.My.Gawwwwwsh!

Right...so we abide by a simple rule in our faith, and in our home. 


"Thou shalt not take the Lords name in Vain."

No saying "oh my God" around here.  It makes me cringe, it hurts me.  Of course i've grown up this way, it just is what it is (hence it being a "simple" rule).  So, I'm teaching my children the same thing.  No need to ever say that phrase.  It's offensive.  Equally annoying/offensive or just stupid is the phrase:  OMG.  I HATE it.  It's so irritating.  And my children have picked that one up from their Auntie Julie and or the general stupid public.  So, I'm constantly telling them to not say that, or stop saying it and trying to correct it.  Max has cleverly started to say "OMX" because somehow that isn't annoing.  Silly kid!

Max has NO problems telling complete strangers that they're not s'posed to say that.  In fact, one time at a restraunt, he was doing a little nosey nosing and the girl sitting in the booth behind us uttered that phrase.  He stood up on the seat, pointed at her and said "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT."  She looked confused, not knowing what offense she'd committed.  He then said..."You CAN'T say oh my God." To which she apologized profusely, I giggled and apologized to her for his bossiness and all was well.  Yeah, it sorta defeats the purpose of him not saying it when he always DOES say it to tell on people.  ::sigh:  We'll get there someday.

And as we're all perfectly aware, Maggie has NEVER had an issue just busting out the swears or the inappropriate phrases of life.  Though she always steered clear of the "god" issue.  However, in her old age and maturity, she has learned to keep it all in check.  We simply deal with charming words like Fart, butt and vagina.  Whatever.  Better than dammit, shit and douche I say.

Anyway.........

The other night we were on a family outing to Best Buy

  SIDENOTE:  Jere purchased our first ever flat screen telly with his graduation present money from my parentals and his Mom.  We've had the same 22 in. television for 9 years, which incidentally was bought with winnings he got from a karaoke contest.

when Maggie decided that she had to go to the bathroom or death would be emminent!  Off we went in search of the Loo.  Upon our arrival, our nostrils were greeted with a rather unpleasant aroma.  No really, it was pretty offensive.  I tried to ignore it and move onward.  But Maggie was having NONE of that.  Her olfactory nerve was severely O-ffended and she was gonna let the world know
it.  Not ok people, NOT ok to offend Ms. sensitive sniffer.

At first there was just a big exclamation of:

"Ewwww!  It stinks in here!  What IS that smell?"  "Ewwwwwwwww gross!"

I grimmaced  smiled and said, I don't know, it's pretty gross though.  She agreed and then wouldn't drop it.

We made our way into a stall, and then her "dramatics" really kicked in.

With flourish and flair she plugged her nostrils and said with increasing intensity...

"Oh my gosh!"
"OH.MY.GAWWWWWSH!"
"Oh my Jesus' real Dads name."
just take a moment to process that will ya?

At which point my brain did a flippity flop and kapow, I processed the absurdity of that phrase, chuckled and promptly said......perhaps THAT isn't the best phrase to use.  However, 10 points for creativity.

Seriously....what 4 year old mentally processes the reasoning behind that phrase and just blurts it out on the spur of the moment?  She freaks me out sometimes.

Speaking of freaking, that word "freaking" which shall heretofore be known as the "f" word has also been banned from her vocabulary.  She was wont to use it at every turn and it was getting a bit much.  I mean c'mon...hearing a 4 year old say "I'm so freaking mad." well it just disturbs.  She was using it every chance she got, to the point it didn't even make sense in the sentence.  A stop had to be put to it.  It took one time of her getting soap in her mouth and she's been a regular "lady" ever since.  Now she just says..."oh my gosh, I almost said the "f" word Mom." 
Whatever...I totally get it, I speak like a Mormon sailor.  I clearly need to get my "freaking" and "seriously" habit in check, right next to my dammit that was put on the shelf long ago.  Nothing more eye opening than hearing your kids talk and realizing they're only mirroring you.  Shame spiral commences.

Hmm Hmmm ::clearing throat::, we'll just hope that she can hold on to the innocence of THAT being the "f" word for many more years.

"real names" and stinky loos,

Allyson

What's in a Name?

As I stated before....Mayzie was first suggested to us on accident sort of by our friend Marissa.  She was working on a school production of Seussical (MANY months ago) and that name was fresh in her head.  When she said it, Jer and I sorta perked up, looked at eachother and went...hmmmmmmmm.  So, we kicked it around for all those months, Mayzie or Marley, we just couldn't decide.  Finally, as the story went...Mayzie chose her own name and the rest is history.

No matter what the first name was, we ALWAYS knew that the middle name would be Lies'l (LEE-Sull), no matter what.  We have a darling, wonderful, talented friend that we adore whose name is Lies'l.  And SHE is our little Amazing Mayzies middle namesake.  Why is she worthy of this honor?  Well let me count the ways....

1. She is incredibly brave in the face of great adversity
2. She is strong!
3. She is driven to succeed, no matter what.
4. She is very funny (wait, that should be above strong, as it's the most important attribute)
5. She is incredibly kind and loving.
6. She has the voice of an angel

We've known Lies'l since she was a punky little freshman in highschool.  We've watched her develop and become this amazing woman that she is.  We've laughed with her, cried with her, cheered for her and loved her, and it just seemed like the most perfect thing to do....give our baby her name.

The Friday after Mayzie was born, Lies'l made her way down here from Flagstaff (ditching classes to do so) so she could meet her little baby namesake.

How is THAT for preciousness!

Mayzie loves your a lot "auntie" Lies'l.

Oh, and hey....our beloved, rockstar, world traveling, violin player friend, Taylor happened to come along for the meeting too!

LOVE these two kids.  So thankful they're in our life!

My "Devil" Did It......

In the immortal words of....well, I don't know whose words these are at the moment, but just go with me here.

"Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we're free at last."  And by "we" I mean Jere, and by free I mean....deeply in school loan debt, but at least DONE with a bachelors degree.

On Wednesday Jere graduated from ASU (Gooooo Devils) with a degree in Theatre with an emphasis on directing.  This is a HUGE accomplishment and one that I am very, very proud of him for.  As he likes to say....."I didn't graduate from highschool, so this is BIG." Not to mention, he is the ONLY person in his family to go to college.  Yeah, it's true, Jer got his GED, and that was because I told him I wouldn't be marrying anyone that didn't at least have THAT under their belt.  Listen people, there are REASONS it took us three years of dating before we made it to the alter.  He had crap to take care of. hahahahaha  But, I'm totally off subject here.  We are talking about the fact that my man is now a college graduate!  WOO HOO!  He will begin his Masters program in August, but having accomplished graduation once....we know this masters is totally doable.  Two more years, we've GOT this.

This degree was a culmination of many years of stops and starts with school.  A lot of blood, sweat and TEARS!  A lot of encouraging, prodding, plodding and plain sleeplessness. Ultimately, even with me full of reservation and fear, Jere threw down and said "I'm DOING this, I'm going back to school and getting THIS degree."  I am so very, very proud of him for fighting through, never giving up and working hard to accomplish this dream.  In the course of the last 3 years he has become a really great director, he has learned much and I can't wait to see what the next 2 years bring.

Sidenote that has nothing to do with anything:  My kids are out front planting apple seeds because Maggie is SURE that if she plants these seeds and waters them she will grow and apple tree.  Ah kids and their unblemished view of life.  So sweet, so innocent.  At this age I myself was sure that if I swallowed apple seeds a tree would grow in my stomach.  Therefore, I was quite careful not to swallow seeds.

Back to graduation....I give you pictures.

 Outside the arena, just before he went to line up.  No, don't anyone mention the short sleeves he's sporting.  He had the gown for over a month, tried it on when it came in and never thought that perhaps something was amiss, UNTIL he put it on for the ceremony.  Silly boy!

We had most excellent seats....me, Julie his sister and Blaine our friend.  Don't think Jer was excited do ya?

 How cute is he, all smiles and excitement.

 I took a pic of him getting his diploma on the jumbotron, because 1.  he was too far away and I was looking at him walk AWAY from me, and 2. my camera is the suck and makes everything look black when the flash goes off in there.  UGH!

After the ceremony.  Which, for the record was about the most boring 2 hours of name reading EVER!  BUT, we do these things to show our love and support for the awesomeness of graduating!  Anyway, this is Jers Mom and sister Julie.

 Woo freaking HOO!  He finally got that ellusive piece of paper!!

 Isn't he cute?  I k now......he is!

A shot of the whole fam in front of my parentals.  They kindly watched the kids so we could "enjoy" graduation on our own.  And if by enjoy you mean sitting in wee seats that my extra wide, post baby hips barely fit in and my long legs did NOT fit in as they were hitting the guy in front of me the whole time, then yes....enjoy we did!

Couldn't be prouder of this guy!

Congrats Jer Bear!

I sure love you!

Bring on the Masters!

Has it been so long really?

CUH-learly I haven't done my blogging best lately.  I mean for the love...I just signed on to write an entry and there is a whole new setup going on.  I was so confused I just sat and stared at my screen for several minutes trying to process what had happened.  Obviously Blogger missed the memo about how I don't do change.  Sheesh!  This blogging silence is just embarassing.  I wish i could tell you why....but I've just got nothing.  I mean, my kids are still as absolutely sassy and funny as ever, and often I make mental notes to remember something so I can blog it.  HA!  My life is still ridiculous and there are things to share for sure.  I just don't feel clever, or funny or motivated AT ALL!  In fact, sometimes I worry that something is seriously wrong in my brain, because I can NOT seem to pull it together and be alert or "smart" in any way.  And I won't even discuss my driving as of late.  Nope, NOT gonna discuss that at all!  Jere would probably take the keys away if he knew how spacey I've become.  OY!  The other day I went back in my archives and read a few entries.....I used to have stuff to say.  I even cracked me up a couple times.  UGH!  I hope I can find my "cool" sometime soon, cause dangit, you're missing out on some funny kids and ridiculously tantrumy moments.

Anywho....I just wanted to talk for a moment about Max, because really, that kid is a HOOT!

He's that super cute kid on the right, in case you'd forgotten what he looked like. And yes, yes Jere does have EXTREME Sun Devil pride.

Max is my numbers kid.  He LOVES numbers.  He can count to 100, he can point out every single number and he does point out EVERY number he sees.  Addresses, phone numbers, numbers on cars, price tags, etc.  He asked Jere the other day for a math book because he just wanted it to practice his numbers.  He has memorized Jeres phone number and likes to call him regularly.  Then he will ask me who else he can call and bug me until I allow him a few phonecalls. 

His phone conversations go a little like this:

Person he calls:  Hello

Max:  What's your name (even though he knows who he's calling)

Person he calls:  says their name and then asks who he is

Max:  This is Max

And then he'll tell them a couple of random things and then say HANG UP!

Apparently I need to teach him proper phone etiquate now that he's a pro at dialing.

My hope is that he will be our math pro, as I am a math retard.  No really, I am completely incapable when it comes to math and numbers.  So, I'm pinning my hopes on this guy and his number obsession to "get it."

He has a steel trap of a memory and literally forgets NOTHING!  If you promise him something, or even mention in a brief passing whisper  at midnight that he can do or get something...you bet your sweet bippy he will bring that up the next day, or next week or next month.  "Remember that one time you said if I did this we could get a treat?"  There is no faking this kid out, he will call you on it every time.

Said to me yesterday:  "Mom.....I just REALLY love balloons."  I know buddy, you really do.  He's so random.

So the other day was ROUGH!  Don't get me wrong, he is still my nicer child.  He's more inclined to obey, to follow commands and just generally be nicer and happier.  However, he has a streak in him that is none to pleasant.  So, after a particularly bad morning, a lot of fighting, sassing and actual hitting of ME, he was banished to his room for a good LONG timeout.  After he'd sufficiently calmed down, and his allotted time punishment had passed, I went into his room.  We usually have a "discussion" at the end of timeouts to talk about why he was there, and what he would do to avoid future trips to time out.  So anyway, I walk in, sit down on his bed and he follows me to his bed.  I just sat there for a minute, not speaking when he finally says: "WELL, start talking."  I stared at him (and giggled on the inside) and sat in silence a moment longer.  He was getting agitated now...."starrrrrt tallllkiiiiiiiing."  So, I did, and he was of course sorry for his behaviour and all was well (for the next 10 minutes anyway).

He loves his baby sister more than words can say.  In fact, he loves her just a little TOO much.  He's like a slobbery dog in heat.  He is constantly all up in her face, hugging her, kissing her, "slobbering" on her.  Trying to feed her is ridiculous because Max is so busy accosting her.  It's ridiculous, and sad that at least 4000 times a day i have to say, STOP kissing your sister.  No MORE kissing your sister, or touching your sister, or coming NEAR your sister.  In case you were wondering....it never works.  He can't help himself, he tells me, he just loves her SO much!

Max is a doer.  Unlike his sister who just wants to throw her hands up and quit the moment anything requires even a hint of effort.  He has mastered the remote, he's a pro riding on a scooter now, he can get all around on the computer....all things his "big" sister can't or wont do.  Shoot, he's even willing to wipe his own bum, which is nearly a good 2 years ahead of his sister.

I just love his bright shiny eyes, full of joy and enthusiasm for all things.  Not a day goes by that he doesn't at some point, usually several times a day tell us he loves us.  He never stops moving.....he's jumping, rolling, running or moving in some way at all times.  It's quite exhausting to watch actually.  But, I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Oh, and one last thing.  The other day as we were driving down the road he blurted out...."we pray to god."  I said that indeed we do.  Then he said "we don't pray to Jesus."  I tried to explain how the praying "chain" worked.  And then he said "yeah, because we don' say...in the name of GOD amen."  Umm yep, 'tis correct little man, 'tis correct.  He surprises me all the time with the stuff he understands and applies.

Wait...I almost forgot.  My other favorite thing is...when something goes wrong, or gets messed up, he belts out..."Oh barnacles"  or, "TARTAR SAUCE."  It's hilarious every time.  Thank you Sponge Bob for those "swears."

Until next time:

Allyson