Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Reality Rundown

I believe I have mentioned this before; but I may or may NOT be a bit of a reality TV whore (used in the kindest form of course). And I feel the time has come for a little "reality rundown" so I can give some of my thoughts and or opinions on what's goin down this season. Oh, and let it be known I do NOT watch, nor condone CRAP reality, such as "real housewives", Flavor Flav, Bachelor, Rock of Love, Etc. Only quality here people, QUALITY. If I had the time, and or the proclivity to do so, I would have put these in order of my least favorite to my favorite, which it is close to, but not quite. But, before I can EVEN start, I just need to say...I have the MOST painful zit right on the inside tip of my right nostril (this WILL be important for posterity to know, don't you think?) . It's awful, it's annoying and mostly, it HURTS! Why must I be tortured with these things? Ok, just had to get that off my chest. Phew. So, with no further ado....my thoughts.

Oh, I simply adore this show. Perhaps it's because I live completely vicariously through all these people that actually have it together enough to BUY a house. But really, there is nothing greater than seeing what is out there and available in real estate around this country, and world for tha tmatter. It never ceases to amaze me the CRAP that people deem acceptable, or the amazing stuff that people think isn't "good enough". But my favorite part is to judge them after they've moved in, 'cause I am telling you now I DO judge and, there are a whole lot of people out there without a stitch of taste. It's tragic really.

Uh, what? How did this sneak in to my reality post? Well, it's pretty much the only non-reality show I watch anymore. I love the genius, creepiness, fabulousness of this show. It's funny, it's smart, it's disturbing and so much more. By all means, check it out...Wednesday nights on CBS. Oh, and Shemar Moore is NOT bad on the eyes either. I'm just sayin.

I would call this one a bit of a guilty pleasure, and somehwere toward the bottom of my esteemed list. This season is super annoying with her shorty model search. Hey there Tyra, models are tall, the end. But, if I had to choose one person in this season that I like, it'd be Laura, the backwoods girl from Kentucky. She's cute, ditzy and just really REAL. I could very much do without the rest of them. Tyra drives me to drink, and frankly, I watch this show to see Nigel (hotty) and the photo shoots, 'cause it never ceases to amaze me what can be done with make up and hair. Ugly girls can look pretty, enough said.

Oh how I adore this show. No really, I ADORE this show. You'd think I was a foody or something, which I'm totally not. But man, there is something so addicting about watching these people come up with ridiculous things to make out of nothing. I really love Kevin, the chubby, bearded guy this season. He's just cute and amazingly good. The Votaglio brothers are, for lack of a better term, total douches, and yet extremely talented. I know they're keeping the drama factor up, which makes for good TV, but honestly, I don't even WANT to know what kind of freakish home life they had to make them such, sulky, non-communicative, hateful brothers. OY!

What is NOT to love about Tim Gun saying "make it work."? I mean, in the grand scheme of things...do you ever listen to his "assessments" in the workroom. Either they edit out all his real stuff, or he just really says NOTHING. But, overall I really adore this show. Again, I'm fascinated by the genius of peoples minds. I'm fairly certain that if someone said, you have 30 minutes to come up with a ball gown made out of items found in the grocery store, I'd get absolutely nothin. I have not a "creative" bone in my body. In the sense of, I don't hear music or write it, I don't see dresses or clothes, I couldn't make up a recipe to save my life, etc. So, I have utmost respect for these people. Well, except for Meana Irena, she is really super mean, catty and well, bitchy. I want her to swallow draino. What? She's really awful.

When Trading Spaces first began lo those many years ago, I truly adored Ty in all his forever 12 year oldness. But now, with his own show and his ego, he bugs the living hell out of me. In truth, I record this show and then only watch the very beginning to find out about the family, and then fast forward to the very end to see the finished house. They do beautiful things here, although I think they make all the houses too big and therefore impossible for these poor families to pay for the upkeep. Really, I don't believe anyone needs a house bigger than 3000 sq. ft. MAX. After that, it just gets retardedly expensive to heat/cool, etc.

I guess I was a secret dancer at heart. I mean, I suck so bad at it that I love watching it because I wish I could do it. For me, no season has EVER touched the Stacey keebler, Drew Lachey year, that was genius. But this season, meh. I mean people, I know I'm s'posed to love Donny Osmond 'cause he's my Mormon homeboy, but seriously. I have always found him to be so super cheesey that he grates on me. I'm not saying that he's not doing a good job dancing, and he's not a good showman, 'cause he is. But his interaction with the judges and his interviews, UGH! Maya is good, but I just don't care. Aaron Carter is ok, but I freaking hate his partner so much that I don't care. And, all my favorite hotty guy dancers have been eliminated. Maksim is HOT...and gone. Tony Dabiloni, HOT and sweet and GONE! Mark Ballas, just really, really fun to watch, and gone. Good thing Louie is around, 'cause I've always loved him. But then what am I left with, Derek freaking Hough. I hate his smarmy lame butt! So yeah, overall, I'm not so in love with this season.

Oh how I genuinely HEART this show. It never ceases to amaze me what choreographers can come up with. There have been moments of sheer genius along the way. However, this fall season...so far.....not so much. I can NOT stand that Mollee chick, Hate, HATE the married ballroom dancers. I hate them mostly because they feel 100% phoney to me. I don't believe in them or their marriage at all. I DO love Russell the Krumper though. I find him amazing with his complete lack of training and how awesome he does. Haven't loved any of the dances especially. Though I'm always a fan of Bollywood, those dances are always great.
However, there is one person who has NEVER let me down. From the first moments of Rama Lama Bang bang three years ago, I was in love. Wade Robson (pictured above left) is totally my boyfriend. That man is a mad genius. The stuff he comes up with is RIDICULOUS and wierd and amazing. So, last weeks show, he did the starry night dance, and frankly, due to the fact that i'm in love with him, I quite enjoyed the dance. I want him to choreograph every.single.week. And, then I want to look at him and all his cute manliness! But anyway, again, as far as this season goes, so far, sort of snoozey. I'm hoping it picks up here in the next couple of weeks. Do you think they rushed us, since we just finished a season in July? I mean, we all waited breathlessly for a YEAR for it to come back. Maybe now, rushing us into a new season, we're too jaded. I don't know.

What can I possibly say about this show? I could do without all the jibber jabber, just show me workouts and weigh ins, but overall, I just adore it. I love, loved Abby and was sad to see her go, but she is an aamazing woman. I like Shay, she reminds me so much of my friend Traci, who so totally should have been in this cast!!! But, I don't feel like Shay loses enough weight for her size, and that bugs me. I really like Rudy, i like him A LOT!! That man is a total crazy machine. Could totally do without the pink shirt girls. I mean really, if you don't weigh like 300 lbs., then just go away. They're too "small" in my opinion to have been on there. And finally, thank the heavenly stars above that the freak show Tracey is GONE! Her and her crazy eyes were seriously making me lose my mind! Though grudginly I will say, she looke really great in her "after" video.

Oh Amazing Race, be still my heart...you always have and ever will be my favorite of all reality TV (well except that unfortunate misstep called the family edition, ugh, that was bad). I have loved you since Season 2 (tragically missed 1) when Ken and Gerard stole my heart. The action is intense, sometimes I literally hold my breath in fear. The roadblocks ridiculous or insane. Some GREAT characters have come into my living room that made me laugh, and or lose my mind. I will forever and ever say "Oh Meredith, we got a Baaad elephant" and it makes me giggle. If you don't watch this show, I'm just gonna say it, you're a dumbhead nong nong. You are missing OUT!! So this season, the only team I realllly love are the globe trotters. They crack me up and they're not drama. I wanted to slap that stupid Micah for seriously LOSING the race because she refused to go down a FREAKING water slide. Are you KIDDING ME? A WATER SLIDE! I totally get being traumatized and or refusing to jump off a 700 ft. bridge over a craggy creek on a bungee cord. THAT I could see walking away from the race on. But really, a WATER slide? Did I mention that this fully adult woman also was wearing floaties? Yeah, for reals people, why are you signing up to do the race if you're not willing to swim, or eat gross things? You KNOW you're in for insane adventure....get over yourself. But, other than that, this has been fairly low drama, and for that I am grateful. I'd just like to thank Bertram Van Munster (so totally his name) for creating this show and bringing it back season after season! I lerve it ever so much!
Well, I guess that wraps up my Reality Rundown. Hope you feel slightly more informed as to what is out there and how I feel about it. You at least know what occupies my DVR and my evening hours. Though to be perfectly honest, i seem to be getting a bit more complacent in my old age, and lots of these stay on the DVR for a week or 2 before I ever get around to watching them. Seriously, there just seems to be so many other things to do and take care of. But, I really am thankful for their mindless distraction, 'cause sometimes, you just need a good reality break!!
What are your faves? Did I leave any important ones out?
Couches and potatos,


The Atomic Mom said...

I'd forgotten that you too are an Amazing Race fan. We also luvers us the Globetrotters. And also the Farmer Dad and Son with Pink Hair....they are good. It was so funny on the first epi, when they were doing the liscence plate challenge Joseph said, "I hope the yogas go" and they did. He comes up with names for everyone.

Anyway...the rest of those shows I don't even know anything about. Although I will say this, I watched the Real Housewives of New Jersey with great interest. There was nothing real about any of those women, but it was interesting all the same. People live such different lives than we do.

jen said...

Amazing Race. You know I love you. And Dancing with the Stars. I love you, too. (Donny, even to me, a Donny fan, is buggin') The rest--well, I've tried to get into SYTYCD, but I just can't get there.

But you did forget Survivor. And although this is the lamest season ever, it did get slightly exciting this last week.

I know this was just an oversight on your part, so I forgive you. But, dear friend, you forgot the queen of them all--American Idol. HELLO!!!! Sorry to correct you. But I know you will see the error of your ways when you read this comment. It's just because it's not on until January, right?

The Coolest Allen Family said...

I am with you for most of these. You are breakin my heart with the whole Donny thing though. I am a super fan. When I was 3 my dad wrote me a song and it talks about my love for Donny in it. It runs deep with me!

I think SYTYCD did come back too soon. I am still loving it but there is something lacking. I think it is because it was rushed.

I do watch the Real Housewives smut. I don't know why I do, but I do.

I wish we lived closer together. I think it would be super fun to watch tv with you!

Steph said...

Love the Biggest Loser! So glad crazy Tracey is gone--she was a total psycho. Sad for Shay, but seriously, she needs to get over her victim complex. I feel sorry for her poor husband who she never ever mentioned. All she ever said was that she had no support at home. Poor guy, it's like he didn't even exist. I agree--pink girls are kinda wimpy and whiney. Rudy's a good worker, but didn't you think it was kind of lame what he did to Shay at the challenge? There was just no reason to say that if he wasn't going to follow through.

Anyway, one of my favorite shows. When I see what those people can do. . . as I sit there eating ice cream. . .

Dixiechick said...

I'm gonna have to agree with you on SYTYCD. Sort of just so so this season. I liked the 2 steps away dance a lot! And I'm sorry, but I love Legacy. I think he keeps adapting and doing fabulous! But it's true that I definitely miss people from last season, a lot. And Mollee is a tard-mo. She sucked it up BIG TIME this week. But I'm afraid that as long as Nathan is her partner she will keep hanging on because apparently he is some sort of teen heart throb? Weird. My favorites: Russell and Legacy. That's about it. I'm not really a fan of any of the girls...although I don't mind the married couple girl that much and Legacy's partner, who I thought was very forgettable in the beginning, is starting to grow on me. This season DEFINITELY NOT as good as last.