Sooo, the clock struck 7:30 last night and I was in bed. It had been a DAY, if you know what I'm sayin. Well, I guess it's been a week, and a long time coming. Apparently, I can't do it all....who knew?
The day started off with Max waking up at 4 a.m. and insisting on being in bed with me, except he would sleep, wake up, sleep wake up, whatever. Needless to say, I didn't get to go to the gym, never a good start. Then I had an ENTIRE day of Maggie at her bi-polar best. If you say yes, she says NO just to go opposite you. She has to battle me on EVERY.SINGLE.THING, "hey Maggie, let's do you hair." NOOOOOOOOOOO. "Hey Maggie, let's get your shoes on so we can go outsid." Nooooooooooo, or she is distracted by 20 other things. Maggie you want a cookie? "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" bawling, tears, screaming, wahtever. But, the most frustrating had to be "Mommy, I need to go potty." Ok, let's get on there. Go through all the effort of undressing her, putting her on the potty, and instantly, "I don't need to go potty." Or, she'd get off, then want back on, off, on. Fight me, doesn't want to put the panties back on, doesn't want to do anything. It just gets soooo exhausting. Add to that that I was seriously more exhausted than I can remember being in a LONG time. I couldn't pull it together, AT ALL. I was frustrated and grumpy and tired. So, to have to listen bickering and fighting between the girls, and all the screaming and crying from Maggie, over NOTHING, I just couldn't deal. The end came when we had bathtime. She likes to tell ME when she's ready to get out, or how to wash her hair out, etc. So, there were some battles, but we made it through. Finally, she was happy, things were good. We were getting her dressed, and then I had the audacity to try and brush her hair. I thought it was safe, she was smiling and laughing. But, I attempted to brush and she lost her ever lovin mind on me. Started bawling and yelling at me out of control. I just put the brush down, and walked into my room and laid on my bed. I seriously couldn't take it another minute. After letting her scream and cry for a good 5 minutes, she was yelling "OK you can brush my hair, I want down (I left her on the dresser, because she gets down from it all the time by herself), etc. So, I went back in, calmly brushed her hair, but couldn't even speak to her. I walked out to Jere, told him to go see the movie he needed to for school and then just busted out crying. It caught us all by surprise. Maggie started cying beause I was crying, Jere was stunned and I was just DONE! I explained that I couldn't take it for one more minute. I was too tired to be alive and I couldn't deal with Maggie and her crazy town anymore. Thankfully Julie is amazing and sort of took over. She handed me a sleeping pill and told me to take it and not worry about anything with the kids. I just stood there and bawled. I could not stop crying. I didn't realize that I was THAT tired and THAT stressed. Good grief! So, I got ready for bed, took the pill and laid down. It was 7:30 p.m. Who does that? I do i guess! I'm pretty sure it was the longest period of time I've spent in a bed in about EVER! Of course my sweet kiddos didn't make a PEEP the entire night. I mean, NOTHING, no wake ups, no crys, NOTHING!! Whatever! Needless to say, I DID get to go to the gym this morning, and I've had a much better day today.
I guess the moral of the story is...we all just need a break sometime. I know I can't be the only one who loses it and needs a bawl fest and a bed, right? Kids and their demands are overwhelming!
Here's to hoping for a better day and better mothering.
Stress outs and sleeplessness,
Fall on the ranch
6 hours ago