Sunday, August 7, 2011

Moments with Maggie and Max

What can I say....Greer was....AWESOME!  And I will TOTALLy share pics and stories later.  But today, today I must share a couple of "precious" moments brought to you by Maggarella and Maximus Prime.  I mean, I'm completely aware that you're all in withdrawells of toddler stories.  So, because i care, and because I like you....I will share.

Let us begin with THIS girl:

She has become, how shall I say this....umm, painfully aware of certain aspects of body.  Picture with me if you will.....

We are leaving Greer, it's our final stop in the bathroom of the cabin.  Gotta relieve the bladder before hitting the road.  First Maggie does her duty, then it's my turn.  As I sit down on the he hem..."throne"  little Miss Muffet says to me:
"Mommy, why is your bum SO big?"


I pondered my answer possibilites and finally came up with the ever so "clever"...

"Well, because I weigh to much?"
Right, like a 4 year old is getting THAT concept.  What the hell is weight anyway?

"But WHY is it SO big?"

......case in point.......

And REALLY, who the hell thought this was a good idea for a picture.
SICK!

"Because I'm overweight."
Oh, there you go again Einstein.  SUCH brilliant speak to a 4 year old.

"Well, sometimes, when you wear your pajamas, it doesn't look as big.

I am now standing and zipping my shorts.

"Hmmm, well what about these shorts.  Does it look a little smaller in them?"

A VERY brief pause.

"NO."  And then she turned and walked out.

Awesome.

After searching the intrawebs, I found this:

An almost frighteningly accurate depiction of my backside.  You can see why maggie is concerned.

Moral of THIS story......
ALWAYS wear my pajama pants.  Clearly, they make my butt look better.

Now, let's discuss THIS guy:

Man he's cute!

Thursday morning we headed into Eager to grab some last minute supplies before the "kidlympics."  We cruelly tore Max away from his "best" friend Olivia and he was unconsolable!  He cried non stop (which I would later learn was because, he was getting sicky poo) most of the way there.  We finally got him to stop (well, i think exhaustion did that for us) by convincing him that he could pick any treat out he wanted at the dollar store.  Upon arriving he of course went straight for the balloons.  Ultimately, it was a handheld balloon on a stick AND a bag of gummy worms.

Once in the car, he couldn't get his gummy worms fast enough.  We started down the road, I handed him his bag of worms, he pulled one out, and almost instantly, there was bawling and wailing from the back seat.  I turned to see what had happened, and there he was with giant crocodile tears, so, SO sad.  He had bit his cheek.  I felt so bad.  He was really in pain, and there was nothing I could do.  I just kept reassuring him that I knew how much it hurt, and that biting your cheek totally sucks and that he would be ok. 

FINALLY...he stopped crying.  We got down the road a little further and I could hear him mumbling/talking in his seat.  He had the gummy worm in his hands and when I turned and asked what he was saying he replied:

"I not talking to you Mommy.  I'm talking to my worm."  "He has a mouth."

I said, "No he doesn't have a mouth."

"yes he does."

Then I left it alone and turned back around.  And listened to him mumble to the worm things like, "your mouth.  mouth. not nice."

I turned back around and said, honey, the worm doesn't have a mouth.

"Yes he does.....he bit me."

"No honey, HE didn't bite you."

"I hurt myself?"

"Yes, you bit yourself."

"Not uh."

And that was that.  He handed back the bag and declared he didn't want no stinkin gummy worm.

The next day we were heading out of town toward home.  Maggie caught site of the worms and asked for one.  I handed her a worm and then asked Max if he'd like one.

With great disgust and concern, he scrunched his adorable face up and said:

"NO, it BITES."

Not gonna lie, I giggled about that for the next 2 days.  He sincerely believes that gummy worms have mouths, and they BITE you if you try to eat them.

Yep...if you look real close, you can totes see that wicked little mouth.

BEWARE the gummy worms!!

In other Max updates.  I must document that he has become obsessed with hula hoops.  Though....he calls them:  HOOPALOOPS!  It's so freaking cute, i just make him say it over and over.  Then, i make him demonstrate how one plays with a hoopaloop.  He's got some mad hip swiveling skills.  Too bad he can't seem to implement them with that actual hoopaloop.

And there you have it......

Moments with Maggie and Max!

Big butts and mouthy worms,

Allyson



6 comments:

The Wizzle said...

Okay, I'm not always into reading other people's kid stories, but those were both totally hilarious!

Becky said...

Hilarious! I love that he thought the gummy worm bit him. I mean, why would HE bite his own mouth? Lol!

Kristina P. said...

That is funny! I do love me some gummy worms.

There was a girl who was from out of town, who came into nursery yesterday that looked just like Maggie!

Lene said...

My sweet little children like to ask why my tummy still looks like there is a baby in there. Nice. I just walk away so I don't hurt them.

alison said...

ahhh....from the mouths of babes. chandler came up to me not too long ago and asked if i had another baby in my belly. i just sat there and watched all the good thoughts i'd been having about myself run screaming into the night. it's a good thing i think he's cute ;) and i think that pajama pants all the time is a fabulous idea...butt minimizing or not!!

erin said...

oh my goodness! chad & i laughed out loud at these little stories! soo funny :)