So, I'd like to discuss a little something, something that realllllllllllllly frustrates me. And that is the phenomenon of "helpful advice" from complete strangers. People, if I wanted your comments I would ASK for it. My story goes a little something like this.
This evening I ran over to the local Wal-mart (don't ask, don't judge, I've fallen to the dark side) child free for a quick pick up of some necessary supplies. As I wandered the aisles in quiet bliss my mind was going in many directions. Generally when I shop (even with kids) my face is blank, my mind is wandering, thinking about this or that, or just taking in all the buyable stuff in front of me. And occassionally I will stop and remind myself to lift my lips, try a smile, 'cause you know, I might look scarey. You see, I was born with what could be called a Davis mouth. I get it from my mother. My lips are down turned. I do NOT have a smiley face. I don't look soft and sweet. In fact, I have been told MANY times that people at first percieve me as a Bitch, or mean, or scarey or intense or whatever. I mean, good hell, I could be thinking about fluffy bunnies and babies and my face STILL looks like I'm mad. But when people get to know me, they realize, I'm a ball of laughs. But, I digress.
So, I'm at the Wal-mart, finished my shopping, walk out to the parking lot and I'm getting into my car, when I hear someone yell "SMILE." There was no one around, and yet I KNEW it was directed at me. I saw the back of a guy as he was taking his cart to the cart drop off. I had not seen this guy in the store, hadn't seen his face, but apparently he'd seen me and felt it was his place to tell me to smile. As I was backing out he walked by my window and gave me a big cheesey smile. People, I am telling you this here and now; NOTHING pisses me off more or makes me feel worse than when strangers, or ward members or strangers tell me to smile. I have heard this my entire freaking life..."smile, it can't be that bad." "Smile". UGH! I am generally totally happy, nothing on my mind when someone says this to me, but when this gets thrown my way, it just torks me and makes me want to flip someone off. Sorry people, I"m SO SORRY that I have ugly face. Wish it wasn't so, but it is. So, can you just get over it and perhaps be friends?
Until then, just know, I'm fine. Just fine and no need to tell me to smile.
Unwanted advice and frowns,
Allyson
P.S. Don't you just love my pics? I found my serious faced friend on google image. And see....I DO smile and look nice sometimes.
16 comments:
we bear the same cross, allyson. like how i leave comments on your blog now? you will never be rid of me.
love,
mckay
Not sure if I have commented on your blog before. But anyhow, I deal with the same thing. Totally know where you are coming from. An interesting looking guy did the same thing to me at a stop light once! He put his fingers to his mouth and forced a smile upon himself hinting that that is what I needed to do. It was so depressing when people just don't get you and the "smile."
oh gosh, this is the story of my life. I am SO tired of people saying that to me. I'm not going to walk around with a cheesy grin plastered on my face so that people think I'm not pissed at the world.
Just reading this instantly put me in that irritated place.
I SO understand.
That NEVER happens to me! Ü In fact people usually tell me they think I am a happy, grinning person UNTIL they get to know me for the real WITCH that I am! Ü
Oh well, we can't please them all...
WOW. Amazing how people think they can just say whatever they want. What if your entire family had just died that day in a freak scuba diving adventure? Then you wouldn't be smiling and would have a damn good reason for the frown. Seriously people. RUDE.
I came in contact with Summer Driggs once and I started looking at a lot of the blogs on her friends list. That is where I found you. There are a few other family members and friends of hers that I love to follow as well.
Oh my goodness!!! That happens to me ALL the time!!!! I completely understand!
You are not alone! I hate it when people tell me to smile. I too have the "Davis mouth" but thought that I was the only one with this problem. Hooray! I'm glad others get annoyed like me too.
Just remind yourself that he's a weirdo loser, and you shouldn't put too much stock in it. I mean, everyone knows that you just don't talk to strangers at the store unless you're A.) a weirdo or B.) their life/their kids' life is in immediate danger. Don't fret about it. We all know how cute you are. Don't get down--just smile. :) hehehe, couldn't resist.
oh my gosh!! i haven't seen you in like...years! you probably don't even remember me, but i found your old diaryland blog through reva's forever ago and then suddenly you stopped blogging there...when you got pregnant! BOO! and then you left a comment on reva's page recently and i noticed your name was spelled how you spell it and wondered if...and it's you! (are you totally freaked out now?)
so i haven't read every word or anything, but let's recap since last i read: you had your baby girl. she's adorable! you also had ANOTHER baby! (just sayin' i missed some big stuff!) and HE is freaking adorable as well! you became a triathlete (can i even tell you how much i admire you for that? impossible. you're amazing!). you moved into the loveliest home. and the dresser! that's not even in the right order, but i can't tell you how much i love that dresser you painted. if you ever need a new home for it...;) um, and hello, you're married to some skinny hot guy! holy heck lady, you look amazing yourself. let's just say you've done some pretty amazing things since last i read. and i hope it's not all creepy that i found you. :D have an awesome day!
--kimbo
OH.....MY.....GOSH!!!! Seriously!?! I can't believe (or stand) that this happened to you. I mean I've been getting it since birth (church, school, work, shopping) Pretty sure people sneak in tell me to smile while I'm sleeping too! And you're right nothing in the world makes me want to smile LESS. 99.9% of the time I am delightfully happy inside when someone comes along and decides to remind me of my "angry face" curse. The big difference here is that I honestly totally and completely think of you ONLY smiling and being happy. It's just who you are. I'm certain people are drawn to you everywhere--like in stores/restaurants becuase you are so cheery. See, I'm still stunned by your whole episode. Hmmmm, well I say next time this happens you turn rigth around and reply with, "Ohhhh, Why didn't I think of that? My best friend just died of breast cancer, my husband lost his job, and someone stole my purse in there. But, thanks for the insightful advice." OR just put a great big smile on your face and run him down with your car. I'm just sayin.
It's a curse of our entire family, I think. I've always gotten that too. For sure you want to punch people when they say it. That would make me smile. :) I'm feeling vicariously angry for you too. Tammy's comment made me laugh...you never know when a freak scuba diving accident just might occur. ha!
I hated it when my mother used to sing that Primary song (you all know it, don't you?) "....change it for a smile...." to me when I was in grump. But then I have, on several occasions, sung the same song to my own posterity, when they were in a grump. Little kids usually get happy. Teens, not so much!
I am always telling my voice students to "smile" so their tone improves. But I mean it in a different way than the "cheerio" at Walmart
Allyson, I think you have a beautiful face. Your glow is far more important than a fake smile anyday! That guy was blind.
That happens to me all the time. I hate it....drove me crazy at BYU tooo....agh, just leave me alone!
What a moron.
Have you ever checked out PeopleOfWalmart.com? Hours of fun.
hey girl, just so you know, i have never thought that of you...I instantly knew you were a nice person, and so fun. you are not ugly, and i think you smile all he time! keep it real girl :)
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