Sunday, July 11, 2010

6th Grade....The EPIC part 1

6th Grade
Fall 1983
Please, let us discuss the super awesome, growing out bi-level.  It was the HOT hair rage of the year.  I am 10 in this picture.  And fear not, I bought that AWESOME argyle sweater ALL.BY.MYSELF at K-Mart.  I felt sooo fashionable, in all my baby blue and purple glory.  And the ACNE, oh the began, and it NEVER relented.

First day of school.  Can you HEAR the cat calls now?  Ow! OW!, who IS that hotty? Replete with my homemade "Izod" shirt and my spanky new levis 501.  I felt soooo cool!

Now, I have warned and forewarned, this year was BIG!  Life lessons were learned.  Eyes were opened.  Which means I obviously have A LOT to say.  So, this will probably be broken out into 3 segments.  Hope you can handle WAITING each day.  I know..."the torture."

Anyone else noticing that there are THIRTY FIVE kids in this class?  Good GRIEF!  This year brings the return of "lion face" boy, and STUART.  Also, the ONLY year that my two besties Karen AND Andrea were in my class together.  There was a new boy in town...and I had a serious crush.  He is in the 2nd to bottom row 4th over from the left.  His name was Mark (and shock of all shocks...I can't remember his last name..BOO!).  Oh how I lurved Mark.  I dreamed of him, and how he would ask me out.  Sadly, it was never to be  Also, bottom row, just below lovely Mark is the girl I mentioned in 2nd grade.  She is the ever changing, Dawn, to Michelle, to Dawn, etc.  I don't know what she was going by this year.  I'll have you note the varied and many bi-levels happening in this picture.  Girl in top row, 2nd in from Right, her name was Terri, and I find her hair especially tragic...always did.  BUT, she was super nice. The only girls not tragically taken down with it were those "smart" enough to stay with their long lucious locks.

Oh 6th grade....where can I even begin?  Especially because I totally have a picturepalooza going on here.

It was 1983 -84.  The year of parachute pants, break dancing, ALL things Michael Jackson, polka dots made a comeback, drop waist dresses.  Oh the fashion fabulousness that was to be had.  Let us begin with that illustrious bi-level cut.  I can so remember going to the Supercuts and getting that style.  It was my first big trip to the Sal-ON where I got to dictate what was gonna happen with my hair.  Alright, truth be told, I'm pretty sure the "stylist" decided what she was gonna do to my head.  I just know I thought I was pretty cool, and at least stylin.

1.  My first love was Jeremy DeJong, from swim team.  And this was the year that we were officially "boyfriend and girlfriend" (for at least 10 minutes). He lived super far away (a whole 5 minute drive) practially on the other side of the world, so we could never see eachother.  So, he mailed me a letter and in it was a NECKLACE, with my initial.  OMG, our love was sealed.  I found that letter about a year ago, and I wish, WISH I could find it now.  You better believe I'd scan it and show you all, ours was TRUE love for sure!  I remember sending him my school picture and totally making excuses, like "I usually look WAY better than this.  I USUALLY have make up on, but couldn't wear it in the pictures."  What?  It's true.  I daily stole my sister Danas purple eye shadow and applied at school.  I was desperate for the makeup, which I was totally not allowed to wear UNTIL 7th grade.  MEAN mom!  Didnt you SEE the acne?  Sheesh!

2. My teacher was Mrs. Slocum.  She was so pretty, and so nice, and I loved her so.  She'd had my brother a couple of years before, so she already "loved" me.  Would you think I was wierd if I told you I still have my little pocket and card that was taped to my desk and had my name on it?  Yeah, I know...I am!  The summer after 6th grade, Mrs. Slocum took Andrea and I to ice cream at Haagen Daz.  It was the COOLEST thing EVER! Getting in a car with my teacher?  Are you kidding me?  I have NO idea why we got to do that, but it was pretty awesome.  I ran into her a year ago at Wal-Mart.  She's still JUST as adorable, and she totally knew who I was.  That amazes me.  'Cause I LIKE to THINK that I look different.  Apparently not.

3. This was the year I was obsessed with ALL THINGS BIOGRAPHY.  There was a whole section in our library with biographies.  They had orange hard bound covers and oh how I loved them.  I was especially obsessed with Julia Ward Howe.  I read her biography at least 4 times.  I have always loved history, and this was a fascinating look at some of American Histories most famous people.

4. Hector, he was in my class.  He TOTALLY used to try and do break dancing on the sidewalk outside our classroom.  All while wearing his red parachute pants.  This crazy new dance was sweeping the nation. We thought he was totally rad.

5. I went to the mall with my friends, you know, 'cause it was super the coolest to do that.  And I spent my hard earned babysitting money on a big ol' Michael Jackson pin and stickers.  DUDE!  He was wearing that white suit, semi reclining.  Was that his Billy Jean days?

6. I went on a big ol' Overeaters Anonymous diet over the summer.  'Cause apparently I had beefed up past my 113 lb. elephant status over the 5th grade.  I distinctly remember going back to school in 6th grade at 5'4 1/2" and a "svelte" 114 lbs.  It was truly diets forevermore.  And trust me, I have done them ALL!!

7. This is the year that Footloose came out!  I went and watched it in the movie theatre.  And you wanna know what stood out to me the most.  It was that Kevin Bacons completely wild and crazy hair.  It just bothered me so much.  No ONE had hair like that, all messed up as it was.  That was a fun movie, and even funner...we got to listen to "footloose" in music class.  SO AWESOME!

8. Speaking of chorus, our teachers name was Ms. Barth.  We liked to cleverly call her MiZ BARF!  Oh I know, will our wit know no end?  We got some good chuckles out of it.  She put together a little chorus.  I joined up, naturally.  And I got a big solo in the Christmas concert.  Later, Mis Barf married Mr. Tellef (another 6th grade teacher) and it was quite the talk of the school.  Mrs. Tellef still teaches choir at a junior high here, and she always recognizes me whenever I run into her.

9. Jovan Musk.......I hearted it so.  And I wore it religiously.  I thought I was so grown up for getting to have it and wear it.

I wore this for Halloween this year.  I always loved this pic, only because it falsely made me look SO skinny.  WHY did I have a neon camo jungle dress?  Well, it came from my dance recital.  I took dance a whole three times in my life, once when I was like 5, and then randomly in 3rd grade and this class in 5th.  But, I couldn't NOT show you this gem.  Plus, you needed to see this:

That girl on the bottom row far Left....THAT is Nicole R, and she plays a big role coming up here.  Two over from her, Andrea, hey there.  There I am in the top row, far Right, looking Awkward, that's the only way to describe that.  And in the Center on top, that's Andreas sister, and my friend Tara.  HI TARA!  Weren't we a smashing looking group of jungle vixens?  Yes, I thought so too.  Man, I LOVE the 80's.

Christmas 1983.
I HAD to show you this picture for a few reasons:
1. My green sweats were awesome, and my Mom made them.
2. You're jealous of our corkboard looking wallpaper, and green plaid in the kitchen
3. That purse...she was MAGIC!!!  See how I clutch it to me?  It was REAL leather, it had little leathery balls that hung on the front.  It was beautiful, and perfect and ALL I ever wanted, clearly.  I really did love that purse.  Now, what in the world I was lugging around in it at the age of 11 is a mystery to me.  Well, besides the Musk of course.

Easter 1984
I share this only because I HATE this dress.  I ALWAYS hated this dress.  I felt fat and ugly in it. I was 11 years old here.  Is that wierd or what?  But mostly I share,because it led to this family picture.

The Shumways ULTIMATE White Trash family picture.
Really, this pic has always made me giggle.  The clothes, my dads big ol' bushy beard.  We ALL look like we need a haircut really bad.  And apparently I'm the only one really sporting any color.  How bout my purple "kerchief" poking out the pocket.  So sweet!
There, aren't you glad I shared THAT with you?

9. The great break-a-leg incident of '84.  You see, my friends Andrea and Nicole and I were over at Melias house.  Melia had a 2 story house.  The ONLY one of it's kind on our block.  In fact, there are only 2 houses on the whole street that are 2 story, and both belonged to Melias family.  Anywho...there we were, lazing away an afternoon when someone (and I'm not blaming anyone, except maybe Nicole, 'cause she was usually the instigator of all things unsavory)got the GREAT idea to jump from the 2nd story down to 2 couches pushed together in the living room below.  Frankly, I can't believe Melia ever let it happen.  Their 2nd story was up an uber steep staircase.  Once there it was a big open room with an open half wall that looked out into the living room.  So, Nicole climbed on up, and jumped down below.  She did just fine, said it was "soo fun."  I think Melia went.  Nicole probably went again, and all I know is I was scared poopless.  I just did NOT think I could handle such dare devilry (totes just made that word up).  So, Andrea decided she was gonna show me that it was FINE to do it.  It was no big deal, and super fun.  She traipsed up the stairs, swung her legs over the edge and went for it.  May I just reiterate here, it was a LONG drop down.  And upon landing....BAD things happened.  Andrea was screaming and bawling and BAWLING and SCREAMING.  I'm pretty sure we were all pooping our pants a little at this point.  Something had gone horribly awry.  She couldn't move her leg.  The pain was intense.  Her parents were out of town and her Grandma was watching them.  So, we called her Grandma or she did, and told her to come get her.  In the meantime, you better believe we pulled those couches apart and acted like nothing untoward had just happened.  Her sweet little Grandma came and had to carry Andrea, in all her screaming, snot pouring glory, ON HER BACK to the car.  Off they went to the emergency room, or doctor or something, and ZOINKS....a broken leg!  I can't remember what she told her Grandma, on how it happened.  But it sure as heck wasn't the truth.  In fact, she didn't truly admit what happened until many, MANY years later.  Consequently, her Gramma broke her back carrying her out to the car.  Yeah, not good.  Not good at all!  Only good thing here....I never did jump off that wall.  'Cause homegirl ain't that stupid.

10.  Leona Baker introduced the term "blow job" to me (and well, the rest of the 6th grade for that matter).  Kind reminder....I was innocene personified.  I lived in a world of rainbows and sunshine.  I knew NOTHING about "sex" things.  So, one day at recess she started talking about a blow job. Honest and true....all I could see in my head was blow dryers.  I could NOT comprehend WHAT she was talking about and why it had to involve boys.  In fact, I dare say, I didn't really know what that was until I was probably 19 or 20.  I know....being me was AWESOME!  I'm actually grateful for that.

But, that was NOT the only eye opening or enlightening thing to learn (or not learn for that matter) in 6th grade.

There was this girl, her name was Nicole.........

stay tuned for tomorrows installment.


Kristina P. said...

Those Flinstone outfits are hot!!

And I love the family picture.

Wendy said...

You have an insane memory. People think I have a good memory, it pales in comparison to thee. You are the Olympic Gold Medalist of Memories.

Andrea said...

Ohhh Allyson it was not Nicole and Melia with the broken leg it was Jody Kirkland. Remember her family they moved into Melia's house when they moved down the street. Anyway call me and I will remind you of the awful event and the "Big" lie!

Tara LaRue said...

Hello back! I don't think I've ever gotten a shout out on a blog. WooHoo!

The Atomic Mom said...

Ok, will blogger let me comment? I've tried 5 times today.

First, I love you.

Second, I need the other parts of this post RIGHT NOW! No really, I am dying to know the rest.

Third, your Pebbles dress makes you look HAWTTT!

Fourth, I had that same hair cut, and what were we thinking?

Fifth, I love that family pic, I've seen it so many times -- your family was so 80s Awesome!

Finally, you still need to post the rest of this story RIGHT NOW!!

the shoafs said...

astounding memory....truly. alls i remember from the 6th grade is that i was in L.O.V.E. with bobby merrifield and that i didn't pee at school the entire year because someone told me that the bathrooms were where the bad kids went to *gasp* smoke cigarettes. i was terrified. and i can't remember if the 6th grade was when i started to wear bandannas was headbands, but if i can drag up a picture of it, i MIGHT share it with you :)

DianD said...

Oh, my word!!!! I never knew the "jump from the empire-state-building-stairs" story until NOW! And I thought I was so vigilant! Just goes to show you that NO mother (short of locking kids to door posts with shackles) can possibly watch their kids enough! Anyway, Sooooo glad you were smart enough NOT to jump! Sorry Andrea had to miss the couch to keep you from jumping, however.
And MEMORY! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!

Jere the Hottie said...

Hearing these stories make me smile, and Andrea totally called you out via comments! Call her for the details and let us all know what REALLY happened and what the big cover-up was. =)

Crandell Fam said...

Woa! Jumping off the stairs??? Cuh-ra-zy!! Can't wait for the next installment!

Natalie said...

I can't believe your memory!! You are absolutely hilarious girl!!

And what about Alex leaving SYTYCD? I am sad :(

Dixiechick said...

I remember Nicole. I had no idea she was such an awful influence on you. Tragic. Just so you know, I thought the exact same as you about "the sex". Other people had sex, but Mormons just had kids. It was simple like that. :) Oh...and I resent being classed in the white trash family pic. I think I look quite cute in that picture. No hair cut necessary and my dress also has color on it. So hmph.

Jen West said...

gripping... how did i get so far behind? at least by now it is all written!

Karen Heslop said...

I had to pull out my 6th grade picture and look at the names on the back to find Mark's last name. I put Mark Mueller with a question mark on top. I guess I was unsure of the spelling. We all had a crush on him. I also liked Eric Bell, the cute blond right next to you. Remember halfway through the year another teacher started teaching and I was switched to her, Mrs. Duchek. I have all the names on the back of my picture if you need any. Oh, the hidious hairstyles!