WHATEVER, so I'm a few days late. At least this means it's safe for anyone who didn't watch it in real time. Here's the thing. This show is the NUMBER ONE, GREATEST show of ALL TIME! No, it IS! Don't even argue with me. Sure there are some seasons better than others, some weeks are meh, others mind boggling. But, it brings super joy to my heart, and many others. Like my friend Alison at Random Pockets of Chaos says...people don't understand the "universal" significance. Therefore...I feel it perfectly acceptable to dedicate an entire post to the show. I totally took notes the other night, just so I wouldn't forget. And there were some FUNNY little moments.
(it is now hours later, after I've tried everywhere and everything to just get SINGLE pics of these contestants. I'm clearly not savvy enough to be alive). I shall discuss how things went down, IN ORDER! Exactly according to my 'cryptic" notes.
LAUREN: Alright really.....her outfit literally looked like she was POOPING fringe. You know it did. Just a giant fringe poo hanging out the back. Which frankly, was distracting. Her dancing was great. Pasha was hot. But the poop, it messed with me. She was beautiful and amazing in the prom dance with Kent. I really do like her as a dancer. Loved Mia's word.....Murderized. She said Lauren "murderized" it. OhMia, you're just banoodles.
Speaking of Mia (ok, she'll be in red). WHAT was up with her bizarro headband. It was like she had a headband, and decided to wear it as a frontal band. It was dorky. I was not a fan. Also....I was DISGUSTED with how she treated Adecheke. She was just uncalled for RUDE and harsh on his Bollywood, and the fact that all she could say was "I miss ALEX so much." It left a bad taste in my mouth. And her half assed apology the next night? While totally necessary, not entirely believable! I hope she really caught a lot of crap for that and does feel like an Ass, 'cause she acted like one. Furthering her "assery" her AWFUL hair change. She went from blond do a nasty looking blackish, in a man combover for Thursdays show. FAIL!
ALEX: May we have a moment of silence PLEASE! The loss of him to the show was just more than I could bare. He was brilliant, beautiful, amazing. How dare his stupid achilles tendon lacerate. I hate it and its ASS face! But for reals...saddest news ever! I will forever keep his hip hop number on my DVR and watch it over and over to make me happy.
JOSE: Laughed my head off at how he was thrown under the bus about liking Laurens butt and always talking about it. His face and reaction to that was priceless! Thanks Billy Bell. Wait 'til someone throws YOU under the bus when they call you on how you think Kent is so hot. hahahaha I just like this kid. I can't explain it, 'cause he's really not THAT good at anything he does. But, he's so nice, and his smile is infectious. Ok, fine, he is a little chipmunky, but still....he's lovable.
KENT: Oh my sweet, sweet Kent. I love him. I just really, really do. And by far, the GREATEST quote to go down in SYTYCD history will be his. As he talked about Lauren and her burping. ahem...and I quote: "She's like the man I'm SUPPOSED to be, but can NEVER be." bwahahahahahahahahahaha you just can't make crap like that up! In other news...Sabrea says that he looks just like the shrunken head on BeetleJuice. Does anyone else see this? As far as dancing..thought his hip hop was soft. Didn't hate it, but didn't love it. DID LOVE his prom dance. It was beautiful and amazing. And oh my goodness....did he just have his first ever "girl" kiss? I don't know. He's a mystery.
ADACHEKE: I also really like him. I think he is adorable, especially when he smiles. However, a big fat BOO to Mandy Moore (who for the record I find hugely and tragically unattractive) for that stupid and AWFUL bar dance. It was just LAME! So, he didn't have much to work with there. But, the judges are just out to get him. I LOVED his Bollywood number. Frankly....I am pretty sure there was some hidden trampoline, because ain't no way it's humanly possible to jump THAT high, THAT many times in a row and do full splits. HELLLLLLO! I think he's FAB!@ So you can suck it Mia Michaels!
BILLY BELL(and really, can you say it any other way than BILLBELL, it's just one word): STILL to gay to function. Meh, I just can't get past him and his "i'm so good-ness". He is a beautiful dancer, but he is incapable of really partnering. I think he's too into himself. I did NOT hate the CATS dance, it was fun. But, I did not like the hunter african jazz dance. I mean really, were you so "scared" of him and his mean clip in piece of black hair? Yeah, me too.
ASHLEY: MEH. That's all I have to say about her. I LITERALLY forget she is on this show every week until they show her. Then I go...Oh yeah, THAT girl. Not a bad dancer, but I could just give a flying rats about her. And if you must know...her hammer pants were el grosso! NappyTabs let me down a little with that "ninja" hip hop. Then again, they may have drained their genius reserves with Alex's dance last week.
ROBERT: Again, don't care. I just don't really like him. I think he's trying TOO HARD to make "us" like him. With that said...i rather enjoyed the Barbie dance. I thought it was clever and fun. I didn't mind the quick step, but I'm no expert on that stuff. As opposed to my PURE expertness on Modern, jazz, hip hop and others. oh yeah, TOTAL expert.
Overall, I would rate Wednesdays show about a 6.5. Especially because last weeks was a 10. I know, I know, you can't win 'em all. But man, when you set high standards, we sort of expect you to keep up with them.
Briefly, I shall say this.....WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOYFRIEND WADE? WHY is he not choreographing more songs? I miss him, I neeeeeeeed him!!!! His opening number on the first thursday night was AWESOME! Last nights opener in all of it's Mia Michaels ethereal wierdness, SUCKED! If you're gonna have all the dancers together, then I want to see them doing things all together, formations, fun moves. Not gay laying around, flailing your legs, lifting girls, etc.
Oh, OH, and really? Who is this Natasha Beddingfield chick, other than the queen of the SUCK! That girl could NOT breathe to save her life. Her song was as stupid as they come, or as one note as they come. The only redeeming quality of that "performance" were the allstar dancers backing her up. Seriously...how do these people get recording contracts. I MUST know!!
And finally, FINALLY....Nigel Lithgow grosses me out (and I think he secretly makes Cat Deely crazy too). He's a disgusting, horny old man that thinks he's neater than he is. Seriously, so full of himself it's vomitous.
I'm a wife to one, mother of three, sister to five, friend to many, singer, performer and teacher. I love my family. I love to tell the stories of the day to day with a lot of humor and a healthy dose of snark. Life can be hard, we may as well laugh at it.