Friday, July 9, 2010

So You Think You Can Dance....a rundown



WHATEVER, so I'm a few days late.  At least this means it's safe for anyone who didn't watch it in real time.  Here's the thing.  This show is the NUMBER ONE, GREATEST show of ALL TIME!  No, it IS!  Don't even argue with me.  Sure there are some seasons better than others, some weeks are meh, others mind boggling.  But, it brings super joy to my heart, and many others.  Like my friend Alison at Random Pockets of Chaos says...people don't understand the "universal" significance.  Therefore...I feel it perfectly acceptable to dedicate an entire post to the show.  I totally took notes the other night, just so I wouldn't forget.  And there were some FUNNY little moments.

(it is now hours later, after I've tried everywhere and everything to just get SINGLE pics of these contestants.  I'm clearly not savvy enough to be alive).  I shall discuss how things went down, IN ORDER!  Exactly according to my 'cryptic" notes.

LAUREN: Alright really.....her outfit literally looked like she was POOPING fringe. You know it did.  Just a giant fringe poo hanging out the back.  Which frankly, was distracting.  Her dancing was great. Pasha was hot.  But the poop, it messed with me. 
She was beautiful and amazing in the prom dance with Kent.  I really do like her as a dancer.
              Loved Mia's word.....Murderized.  She said Lauren "murderized" it.  OhMia, you're just banoodles.

Speaking of Mia (ok, she'll be in red).  WHAT was up with her bizarro headband.  It was like she had a headband, and decided to wear it as a frontal band.  It was dorky. I was not a fan.
Also....I was DISGUSTED with how she treated Adecheke.  She was just uncalled for RUDE and harsh on his Bollywood, and the fact that all she could say was "I miss ALEX so much."  It left a bad taste in my mouth.  And her half assed apology the next night?  While totally necessary, not entirely believable!  I hope she really caught a lot of crap for that and does feel like an Ass, 'cause she acted like one. Furthering her "assery" her AWFUL hair change.  She went from blond do a nasty looking blackish, in a man combover for Thursdays show.  FAIL!

ALEX:  May we have a moment of silence PLEASE!  The loss of him to the show was just more than I could bare.  He was brilliant, beautiful, amazing.  How dare his stupid achilles tendon lacerate.  I hate it and its ASS face!  But for reals...saddest news ever!  I will forever keep his hip hop number on my DVR and watch it over and over to make me happy.

JOSE: Laughed my head off at how he was thrown under the bus about liking Laurens butt and always talking about it.  His face and reaction to that was priceless!  Thanks Billy Bell.  Wait 'til someone throws YOU under the bus when they call you on how you think Kent is so hot. hahahaha
I just like this kid.  I can't explain it, 'cause he's really not THAT good at anything he does.  But, he's so nice, and his smile is infectious.  Ok, fine, he is a little chipmunky, but still....he's lovable.

KENT:  Oh my sweet, sweet Kent.  I love him.  I just really, really do.  And by far, the GREATEST quote to go down in SYTYCD history will be his.  As he talked about Lauren and her burping.  ahem...and I quote:
"She's like the man I'm SUPPOSED to be, but can NEVER be."  bwahahahahahahahahahaha you just can't make crap like that up! 
In other news...Sabrea says that he looks just like the shrunken head on BeetleJuice.  Does anyone else see this? 
As far as dancing..thought his hip hop was soft. Didn't hate it, but didn't love it.  DID LOVE his prom dance.  It was beautiful and amazing.  And oh my goodness....did he just have his first ever "girl" kiss?  I don't know.  He's a mystery.

ADACHEKE: I also really like him.  I think he is adorable, especially when he smiles.  However, a big fat BOO to Mandy Moore (who for the record I find hugely and tragically unattractive) for that stupid and AWFUL bar dance.  It was just LAME!  So, he didn't have much to work with there.  But, the judges are just out to get him.
I LOVED his Bollywood number.  Frankly....I am pretty sure there was some hidden trampoline, because ain't no way it's humanly possible to jump THAT high, THAT many times in a row and do full splits.  HELLLLLLO! I think he's FAB!@  So you can suck it Mia Michaels!

BILLY BELL(and really, can you say it any other way than BILLBELL, it's just one word):  STILL to gay to function.  Meh, I just can't get past him and his "i'm so good-ness".  He is a beautiful dancer, but he is incapable of really partnering.  I think he's too into himself.  I did NOT hate the CATS dance, it was fun.  But, I did not like the hunter african jazz dance.  I mean really, were you so "scared" of him and his mean clip in piece of black hair?  Yeah, me too.

ASHLEY:  MEH. That's all I have to say about her.  I LITERALLY forget she is on this show every week until they show her.  Then I go...Oh yeah, THAT girl.  Not a bad dancer, but I could just give a flying rats about her.  And if you must know...her hammer pants were el grosso!  NappyTabs let me down a little with that "ninja" hip hop.  Then again, they may have drained their genius reserves with Alex's dance last week.

ROBERT:  Again, don't care.  I just don't really like him.  I think he's trying TOO HARD to make "us" like him.  With that said...i rather enjoyed the Barbie dance.  I thought it was clever and fun. I didn't mind the quick step, but I'm no expert on that stuff.  As opposed to my PURE expertness on Modern, jazz, hip hop and others.  oh yeah, TOTAL expert.

Overall, I would rate Wednesdays show about a 6.5.  Especially because last weeks was a 10.  I know, I know, you can't win 'em all.  But man, when you set high standards, we sort of expect you to keep up with them.

Briefly, I shall say this.....WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOYFRIEND WADE?  WHY is he not choreographing more songs?  I miss him, I neeeeeeeed him!!!!  His opening number on the first thursday night was AWESOME!  Last nights opener in all of it's Mia Michaels ethereal wierdness, SUCKED!  If you're gonna have all the dancers together, then I want to see them doing things all together, formations, fun moves.  Not gay laying around, flailing your legs, lifting girls, etc. 

Oh, OH, and really?  Who is this Natasha Beddingfield chick, other than the queen of the SUCK!  That girl could NOT breathe to save her life.  Her song was as stupid as they come, or as one note as they come.  The only redeeming quality of that "performance" were the allstar dancers backing her up.  Seriously...how do these people get recording contracts. I MUST know!!

And finally, FINALLY....Nigel Lithgow grosses me out (and I think he secretly makes Cat Deely crazy too).  He's a disgusting, horny old man that thinks he's neater than he is.  Seriously, so full of himself it's vomitous.


Grand Jetes and Armchair Dancing,


Allyson

13 comments:

Kristina P. said...

After I heard the spoiler that Alex had to leave, due to an injury, I deleted my recorded shows. He was the only reason I was watching.

I'm not impressed with the other contestants, I hate the format with the All-Stars, and I can't stand Mia Michaels as a judge. I hate to say it, but bring back Mary Murphy.

the shoafs said...

okay, i'm sure this will shock you but i'm about to drop a comment that is longer than your post. i know this because i wrote it down so that i could type it. i'm THAT nerdy about sytycd. (UNIVERSAL, i tell you.....)

so now the poop fringe is all i can picture. too funny! poor lauren will forever have a peacock bootay no matter what she wears. and "banoodles" is going to be my word of the day tomorrow....i'll be at a one year old's bday party so it should be a hit! and i thought the SAME THING on mia's hair both nights. i can deal with the headband that was involved in unauthorized activities on her cranium, but the gelled back dude hair was NOT a good coif choice. JUST SAY NO!! I do love me some kent and i hope that he's there for a long time. when he said, "i'm kind cool, right?" after his hip hop dance...i just wanted to hug him. he's so gay and so fabulous and i wish he'd been my prettier-than-me prom date in high school. adecheke was the one we both left out of our sytycd breakdown emails...which was surprising to me since that was the week (his "geek week") that i actually liked him in. i wasn't impressed with him this week, but i think it was a crap draw he got on dance style choice. i don't think anyone can make bollywood look good (except maybe alex) but the judges were harsh and i loved cat deeley for calling them out like she did. **side note: how the heck does one land a cushy fabu job like hers? aside from being an amazon and blonde??
and robert??? blech....just blech. i don't care that he's the hardest worker or a nice guy or whatevs. unless he dives off of the stage to save a tiny newborn kitten, thereby sacrificing the competition....nah....still wouldn't vote for him.

any room left to allow others to comment???? ;)

the shoafs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
reasonably chubby said...

Okay, so I haven't seen the show in a while, but I do agree wholeheartedly that Nigel is weird and creepy, and annoying as ****. I have no rythym (forgot how to spell this word) in this bodacious body of mine, something I still haven't gotten over, but I do love this show! :)

EG said...

I am NOT a Mia fan...never was, never will be. I barely like her choreo. She's a manipulator as a choreographer and as a judge. Her snarky comments and hybrid made-up words make me almost (almost) miss the ever-annoying Mary. I do however, love Adam. Thank goodness for him.

LanaBanana said...

I think Mia makes mistakes by just blurting out whatever rude, snarky thing she's thinking--she doesn't realize that, as a judge, you have to have an edit button. Adam can usually take her offensive crap and actually turn it into some kind of CRITIQUE. Sheesh. Just repeating "I miss Alex" is not "helping him grow" as you tried to claim, Mia. Ugh.

Futhermore, I have hated Nigel for many a season. He talks too long because he thinks he's the Oprah of dance. And I hate Oprah because she thinks she's the reason for mankind's existence. But Nigel is forever creepy, big-teethed, nerdy, inappropriate and NOT funny. at all.

I like Robert just fine. He's a little obnoxious, but not as much as Billy Bell. And I can't watch Jose smile without trying to imitate his missing upper lip. Other than that, he's fun. Lauren is smokin' and amazing. I think it will end up being between her and Kent....now that Alex is gone, of course. Moment of silence.

The end.

Debbi said...

I think I need to tune into next weeks episode...Thank you for stopping by Mommy Monologues for my featurette!

✩Molly✩ said...

seriously laughed out loud when you were talking about Mia's headband, Joe and I definitely commented on that.... and last week she wore this crazy white shirt with like a circus-y thick black belt that made her look huge.... and her hair was YUCK last night, I definitely noticed that too.

Now that Alex is gone I am sad. *tear*

I have to admit I was missing Alex too, and was glad she said it... I don't really think she was trying to knock Atachike as much as she was trying to mourn the loss of Alex, who lets face it should have one this damn thing and has now probably ruined his career, and won't even be able to get back into that awesome ballet thing he was in..

Lauren seems to be one of my only shining hopes for this season. I thought she looked hot in the fringy dress, and was too busy noticing the bare skin to think about fringe-poop.

I agree about billy bell but I have a hard time not just ignoring the other person on stage with him and enjoying his performances... Let's face it, a lot of stage productions have a Billy Bell in them, and we still enjoy watching them.

I can't stand Jose's personality but for some reason I really enjoy watching him dance and connect with others on the show... I constantly have to remind myself that he is just a little B boy... cause he just sails through the numbers technically incorrect or not.

Oh, and I am annoyed with Cat Deely. She bugs me. A lot. I fast forward through her talking for the most part... and was annoyed when she was like, "Ok the music stopped, it stopped it stopped!" its like you should just STOP TALKING and let us enjoy the moment... of Kent ALMOST seeming straight.

The End.

Loved this... do it again next week please k thanks :)

Hello! I'm Kate. said...

oh gosh--i've never watched it! ::gasp:: don't throw things at me! but if i remember to watch it next week then i will!

lexlocilori said...

I catch this show once in a while, but I don't really watch TV in the summer. What happened to the big mouth girl judge? In a weird way I liked her. I have been watching a bit of Last Comic Standing. That one is pretty funny but that girl judge laughs at everything!! I could be a stand up with her as my audience.

Greg and Tammy said...

I really heart this show. Funny commentary. Although, I have to say that Jose is not my enchilada. Makes me furious that this is a DANCING show and he is getting by on his personality. Mr. congeniality I'll give him though.

Jason and Kate said...

I agree. Greatest show on earth! Here is my scoop. I'm sad that Alex is gone too. I actually liked the ninja hip hop number but not crazy with Ashley. Mia's hair-you described/critiqued it beautifully. I have always loved Mia's choreography and I can usually tell which choreographer does the number (love the show I tell ya) but for some reason this was so not her-didn't like it. Maybe the judging thing has gone to her head.

Btw-where is Mary Murphy? She was there for some of the tryouts/Vegas. Did they ever say why she wasn't here?

Dixiechick said...

Oh, I'm so sad that Molly doesn't like Cat. Who doesn't like Cat?!?! She's like the cutest thing ever. I think she is a brilliant host and so freakin' cute. LOVE HER! I agree with pretty much everything you said. Yep. Everything. I feel the same about Alex, Adechicke, Billy, Lauren, Kent (although I do think Kent is straight. And you know who he reminds me of? Dane. Every time Shane and I see him we're like "HOLY CRAP, THAT'S DANE!"). I feel the same about Robert and Asheley too, although I liked Asheley last week a little more than normal. And I do want to punch Mia in the face--for her lame comments and her lame dances. It's hard to remember that she's the brilliant mind behind the addiction dance. But lately she's had nothing worthwhile. And her comments are always retarded. Lucky for Adam to try to smooth things over and say something actually constructive. LOVE THIS SHOW WITH ALL MY HEART!!!