Monday, June 7, 2010

Memory Monday begins (a little late) First Grade

Welcome to Memory Monday,or otherwise called let's look at how my hair evolved, devolved and evolved again.

Ok friends, heres we go! A look back on the life and times of AVP.  When I was using my spanky new scanner and putting in all my school pictures I hatched this idea to review my life, as it were.  Just some random memories and stories from my ever exciting youth.  Hope you enjoy the ride.

Gratuitous baby pic Allyson (thats me) at 6 months        Me at 3.  Hair growth was not so much my thing. And this mullet proves it!

     Fall 1978
Let us just discuss for one moment what is wrong with this pic.  Please note the totally awesome hole in my shirt  in the upper left hand of the pic.  CLASSY for sure.  What is that shirt anyway? Besides unfortunate. The hearts on the necklace have gone skeewompus and my hair, well it's not bad, just a little uneven.  Don't blame my Mom.   ALLEGEDLY I was rather headstrong and I insisted on this particular getup, hole and all.

Well what you should know first off is, I skipped Kindegarten, YEP, you read it right, I SKIPPED right on over that year of crafts and naps....all because I'm a genius.  And by genius I mean, I was brainy enough to test out of naptime and naming shapes. But really, I could read at 4, and I could clearly write, because....I tested OUT of Kindegarten.  Why did I test out?  Other than my geniusness?  Well, because ALL my friends were going into first grade, and I was taller and bigger than most kids, AND I.COULD.NOT.BARE the idea of them going to first grade and me being stuck with the "BABIES" in kindegarten.  So, my Mom took me down to district, I took some long A test, talked to some stranger and whadda ya know, I passed the test and the rest, as they say, is history.

The first day of school arrived and I was filled with excitement and anticipation.  Here it was, the beginning of my brilliant school career.  The place where I would go to soak up knowledge like.a.sponge.  I was gonna be a Redbird Chief Yo.  I was gonna Represent!  I had my school box (do you remember those?) that I had specially picked out at the local Yellow front store, and my new clothes and my "thirst" for knowledge.  Melia Merkley walked with me to school, and I distinctly remember being jealous of HER school box.  But, that's neither here nor there, is it.  What's more important is, she (Melia) really IS a genius.  What was she even doing in 1st grade? She should have skipped to 4th at least. But I digress.  Back to me....

My teacher was Mrs. Williams, she was like 100 years old (in fact she retired the next year) and a sweet little ol' Grandma.  She had dark hair and HUGE glasses, and she wore vests.  Mostly, only a couple of things stand out from 1st grade, i mean, I WAS 5 for heavens sake.

1. There was this girl, her name was Ruthie and she came to school wearing a dress and NO panties.  WHAAAAT?  It was scandelous to say the least.  She was all the talk of the playground for sure. (seriously THIRTY TWO years later, and I remember this. Ree-dic)

2. One day, as we were working on math in class, I may have peeked over at my neighbors paper.  And said neighbor MAY have promptly marched up to Mrs. Williams and totally tattled on me.  After which, I may or MAY not have been completely called out, in front of the WHOLE class about my cheating.  Like, standing in front of the class and belittled for cheating on my math.  It was perhaps the single most humiliating moment of my little life.  AND, I totally, TOTALLY believe that it caused my life long inability to do math.  No lie people, I am HORRIBLE at math, wretched, awful, dumb as a door nail at math.  My mom says i have a mental block.  Well thanks for NOTHIN  Mrs. Williams.  You and your giant glasses blocked me for life! I BLAME YOU!

3. We had some sort of culture day, and we were gonna eat rice with like chop sticks and soy sauce or something.  I can vividly see and smell the little bowls of rice.  And I mostly can VIVIDLY taste the vomit that occurred after I ate said rice with FAR to much soy sauce.  To this day, I can NOT do soy sauce.  Isn't it amazing how much sense memory we have?

And that my friends is all i've got.  A few humble memories of life as a 5 year old in the first grade.

In other news, completely unrelated to my memories....

Instead of losing FIVE pounds, I totally lost SEVEN, SEVEN pounds this week.  That was awesome!

I finished blocking all my numbers in workshop today, and all i can say to that is, halle-freakin-luia. Tomorrow we clean, clean and run.  Then Wednesday we move to the theatre and practice more.

Maggie started a little summer "preschool" today.  She was in HEAVEN, 'cause she got to go with Brooklyn and Jayce and be such a big girl.  On teh downside, she played so long and hard, that she fell asleep the MOMENT we got in the car (6:45ish) and turned into a demon, no really, a DEMON when she got woken up as I pulled her from the car.  Friends, it was 45 minutes of screaming, sobbing, screeching, wailing that would.not.end.  NOTHING I did, or said could touch it. I know it's because she was half asleep and soooo exhausted, but holy crap-oly it SUCKED!  Max on the other hand, HAPPY as a clam.  That would be because HE took his nap.  Just sayin.

And with that, I'm off like a herd of turtles!

Math blocks and holey shirts,



Kristina P. said...

How in the crap did you lose 7 pounds in a week? Are you on the same crack diet Lindsay Lohan is on?

And I have the worst long term memory. Idon't remember anything longer than 5 minutes ago.

Ms. Understood said...

LOL @ the holey shirt. Cute pics. Congrats on the weight loss. I started Kindergarten at 4 (and my birthday is April so I pretty much was 4 the whole year), so I was also a five year old 1st grader (later I skipped from 11th grade to freshman year of college, so I was a 16 year old college freshman).

Stopping by from SITS (you are ahead of me today)

Minky Moo said...

Seven pounds in a week? Holy cow woman!!

I totally had a heart necklace, I wish I knew where that ended up! I am so glad my mom has all my school pics, lathough I so enjoy these posts of yours...perhaps I should have her send em!

LanaBanana said...

It's funny to read this as an outsider because Maggie looks exactly like your kid pictures, for one. And also...did you hear yourself? "ALLEGEDLY I was a very headstrong kid and insisted on this particular getup". !!! Are you still wondering about Maggie's demon tantrums about clothing and hair-doing. :)) So funny. The good news is that she is bound to turn out fabulous if she's following in your shoes.

And the bit about your teacher and her glasses blocking you for life was seriously hilarious.

When are you having time to blog, block, teach, mother, go to shows of Jere's??? What the heck? Do you have a secret deal with the devil?

Natalie said...

That pic is cute...hole and all ;)

Um, what? No undies? Didn't that little girl have a mom? She's the same woman that now still doesn't wear undies under her dresses and would be the talk of the party.

YAY!! Seven pounds is AWESOME!! Go on with your bad self, girl!

Cookie Mama said...

Where do I start? No underwear, the shirt, sweet Maggie & Max, you are hilarious! I love the Memory Monday and can't wait for next week, get to scanning! Seven pounds is awesome and just a FYI, I joined your sugarless cult, yup I'm a follower, we'll see how long I last.

What ever happened to pantiless girl? Did she go on to the 2nd grade? I need more information!

The Atomic Mom said...

What?? We have to wait till Monday for more memories? No!!!!

the shoafs said...

love this post! i laughed alot. and you are brave because there's no way in this WORLD i would post my 1st grade picture...what with my righteous 'fro and whatnot.

as for's over-rated. i can count to three (which equals out to the number of kiddos i have....makes for head counts being accurate!) and i've never, no NEVER, had to compute the cirucmference of anything, NOR have i ever had to "find x". so it's all good grizzavy.

if you keep posting all abouts how your droppin' the lbs....i might get serious on this no sugar idea of yours. i could use ridding myself of 7 pounds....might help me bring back my lightning quick moves that i desperately need now that ava's crawling!

and "skeewumpus" might be my new favorite word ;)

Lori said...

Love it. From The 1st grade Basic Instinct move to the holy shirt. BTW, I like to do a feature called "quantum leap" where I time and space travel via my scanner as well. Oh, and I rant on not doing your crappy math problems on my blog today : ) Found you from SITS.

Aimee said...

Ok I loved this post!! It is so fun to look back on pictures and laugh. :)

Aww look at you and all your geniusness. I do find it funny how there are thngs that scar you for life. That teacher would probably feel horrible if you told her now about how you hate math,hmmph. And no panties under a dress? That is very scandalous, I wonder how that got past the mother.

Thanks for taking us with you on your trip down memory lane.

Congrats on your weight loss!

Denise said...

I remember my kindergarten teacher and my hair in kindergarten/first grade. Being a red head is quite the novelty especially at that young and I must say people really either love it or hate it. I had a group of boys that loved it at that time and would try to sit by me so they could grab my long red hair and kiss it. My parents were into long hair and I had a mass of bangs on the front of my head.
I also remember a huge bathtub of rice that they used for learning about measuring. Pretty good idea. It is funny to think back on those times.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Congrats on your weight loss! It was fun reading about your first grade year.

erin said...

oh i looove looking at old pics! i think they are so funny/ totally humiliating.

Just Lisa said...

Hee hee hee... I'm pretty sure my first grade picture looks very similar.

Thanks for visiting me for my SITS day! And congrats on losing 7 pounds in a week!

The Urban Cowboy said...

Right on about your minus 7 lbs! I was stopping by to ask how you were doing, looks like I can skip that. BTY love your freckles!

DianD said...

What I remember most about you at that age was your AMAZING visual memory! I don't care what it was that I "wondered-where-it-was" -- you ALWAYS knew! So helpful to a mom! You were also very helpful and independent.... good thing cause by then I had had 2 more and another on the way! What was I thinking! :) Who knew it was your teacher that scarred you for life! Wonder how many say that about me! :( Sorry Maggie had such a hard time! Can hardly wait to see the show on Saturday!

Tisha and Mark said...

Ok, so I used to work with your fantabulous hubby @ UOP. I now live in Utah and don't have the chance of every running into him again. Your blog cracks me up :) You guys are a match made in heaven. Tell him hello and I miss him terribly. He was my little ray of sunshine :)

jen said...

I see so much of Maggie in you at 6.
Never knew of your brilliance. Wish you'd held that over Tucker's head once or twice!

Mel said...

Sorry I'm just getting around to reading all these. Teething kids are no fun. I love all the random memories you have. So much fun. I actually think that 6 year old picture is quite adorable. I saw it and I was like sweet.
Congrats on the weight loss. Perhaps I should give up sugar.

Andrea said...

So funny the things you remembered because I don't remember any of them and I was there. Who in the world was the girl with no panties? I remember having the word mailman on our spellling test and Mrs. Williams forgetting it was written on the board right behind her and Michelle (can't remember her last name) raising her hand telling Mrs. Williams to erase it. We were all mad at her. Did I ever tell you that Mrs. Williams was in my ward when Ron and I were first married? She looked exactly the same.

As far as math is concerned I tell my girls when looking for a husband math skills is a great quality to look for. Because believe it or not once they are past 5th grade I am no longer able to help them.

Love the Monday memories! I will get to relive them right along with you.

Crandell Fam said...

Another hysterical post. Although, I must correct you on one thing. Mrs. Williams did not retire the next year because I had the "pleasure" of having her in 1st grade and I was 2 years behind you. My only memory of her and first grade was of her elastic belt that hooked in the front totally FLYING off and sailing across the room! It was so funny, and that is literally all I got from first grade. I was a genius, too, though, so that's all I needed from her. Just sayin'. :)