Friday, October 1, 2010

"Dress"ed for Success

Alright, enough with the Debbie Downer post.  Something had to be put up here stat.

So, forgive if it's lame, and or hastily thrown together, but I HAD to do it.  Hells, i only have like 45 minutes before I need to leave for rehearsal and I am in NO WAY prepared to go.  BUT, this seemed MUCH more fun than prep work.

First of all....just wanted to say...I LOVE my Mom.  Just had a lovely chat with her when I went to pick up my kids.  It was so nice to sit at the kitchen table and talk and discuss.  She's a great listener, and I love her and appreciate her.  Thanks Mom, for ALL you do to help me out.

That said....

The other Sunday Jer and I took an impromptu visit over to my sister Danas house.  We don't often go over, well, anywhere these days.  So, it was a treat to go over and have dinner, hang out, visit AND even play a hysterical game.  When we were getting ready to leave Dana threw this dress at me that she was getting rid of.  I eyed it a little warily.  Let it be known that she and I just have different style.  She will pick bold prints that I NEVER would choose. Yet, they totally work for her.  Also, she wears short (knee length) skirts or dresses. I DO NOT!  I have this wierd obsession with keeping my knees covered.  I feel like I look wierd in shorter dresses, PLUS, I'm not so much a fan of my legs.  NOT.TO.MENTION....I tend to sort of sit like a trucker.  Lady like is not so much in my description.  So, put me in a shorter skirt/dress...I'm screwed.  AND, try keeping my lucious sized thighs all the way's a trick!  But, I digress.

Dress in hand, we left.  I let it lay in the corner of my room for nearly a week before I decided to at least try it on.  I was rather skeptical that it would even fit at all, she's a lot smaller than I am for goodness sake.  However, when I tried it on, I was surprised to find that it did for the most part fit.  A bit tight at the bubbies, but it fit.  "Hmmmmm, maybe this would work."

I put it back on the floor and left it for Sunday morning.

Getting ready for church, thinking about how I really did NOT want to wear the one and ONLY dress I have, yet again.  I'm sick of wearing the same thing every week.  So maybe, just maybe I'd put this "new" dress on and just go for it.

I put it on, got myself situated and then walked into the other room to ask Jer to help me zip it (totally lame side zipper).  His reaction was pretty awesome.  After he put his eyes back in his head and picked his jaw up off the ground, he happily helped me zip.  Apparently...this dress makes my already bodacious ta tas even more BODACIOUS!

Won't lie, he made me feel good.  Even if I did feel naked and exposed with my knees showing, which SURELY meant that my butt was hanging out too.  And, my buh-zooms felt more exposed than I thought necessarily appropriate for church.  BUT, time was out and i had nothing else to wear, and my man thought i was hot.  So, I went with it.

I may or may not have felt a little whorish in church.  Just sayin.

Good thing I had Max to hold on my lap the ENTIRE time.  And I absolutely refused to bend over, and or chase the kids, because nothing needed to be more exposed.

What?  You want to see a picture?  Ok, fine.
Let it be known, I made him take the pics before we left, so I could assess if I looked Ok, or totally hefferish in the dress.
Note Maggie and her positions.  Cracks me UP!  There is a shot of my backside, which I shall spare you from, but she is standing the same way as me in that one too.  So funny.

So?  Whore of Babylon?
Or is that just in my head?
Why did it feel like I was WAY more exposed than this picture shows?

And lastly...that dress says it's a size 16. WHAAAAAT?
Like a size 16 GIANT perhaps.
But, I'll totally take it.

Thanks Dana for a new dress.  For convincing me to give it a whirl.

And now....I'm off like a herd of turtles to get ready for rehearsal.

Boobaliciously yours,



jen said...

I'm nothing if I'm not honest, right?
Aside from the addition of a cami to lessen the v neck a little, my op-of-onion is this: KEEPER.
And--kids ready for church: so darling. Love Max's hair.

The Bipolar Diva said...

you look beautiful!

Kristina P. said...

That is the shape of dress I wear a lot. And I own A LOT of dresses. I would wear it in a heartbeat. And it totally covers your knees! I like my dresses to come just below my kneecap. It's a weird thing of mine, so I definitely pay attention. It's the perfect length, and the faux-wrap is super flattering.

Plus, there's no such thing as "too slutty." Oxymoron.

Miracle Pending said...

I think you look great: the cut is very flattering. I don't think you have anything exposed at all. I can't even see your knees, actually.

One tip? Get some different shoes. The ones you're wearing seem okay, but a great pair of pumps would probably really jazz up the outfit.

How about something like these?

Dixie Dixon said...

I'm pretty sure "whorish" would have never entered my mind with this dress. Like, at all. I think it is really cute and flattering on you too. It is totally in your head. How funny. I have all these things I think about myself too and Shane will tell me they are in my head and I just think he's being nice, but maybe they really are in my head. Cute. It's a keeper!

Natalie said...

You look HOT!! And I love that you used "whorish" and "church" in the same sentence!!

Yay for bodacious ta tas!

The Brinkerhoff's said...

You look amazing in that dress.. Love Maggie and Max SO CUTE!!!

LanaBanana said...

You could pop a cute little cami in the v-neck to avoid any uncomfortable moments where Max is climbing across you in church, grabbing clothing and body parts to hang on and the embarrassing peep-show moment occurs.

Those are never my favorite moments, so I tend to under-cover myself pretty well--camis, slips, large blankets draped across my legs. :) I hate that church clothes don't stand up to parents playing jungle gym.

Anyway, other than that, the dress is wayy cute. I could see a really cute pair of black ballet flats with it. Eh?? :)

Kellie said...

It's totally cute! I love it! I'd wear it to church- but only if my bra straps were taped to my garments underneath ;)

Greg and Tammy said...

You are one HOT smokin' babe!! Keep it and wear a lot. you look great. And BTW, sorry about all the bum luck lately. You guys are in our prayers.

lexlocilori said...

that is too cute. I was imagining something scandalous. mind yourself though-- your daughter is watching your every move.

EG said... crazy! It looks great. Total keeper

alison said...

love the the shoes....LOVE the kiddos! that is definitely not a "whore in church" dress. nope. i'd totally wear it...and i'm southern baptist! just slip a cami on underneath it and you'll never feel uncomfortable again ;)

DianD said...

Thanks for the visit. Loved it, too. And CUTE dress! Everything is covered and it is very flattering! I can't do cami's or other "under" cover things because I can't deal with more heat than the bare minimum allows, but sometimes I discretely pin and that usually works. Anyway, as it looks in the pictures, no need. And Maggie the Model will have to be checkin in with Aunt Jody soon! So cute...

Anonymous said...

I dont even know you or how I came across this blog post but I think you look AWESOME!! And I would totally love a dress like that to wear to church xx

Mel said...

I love it. As someone who's boobs make her look like a two bit hooker in any outfit, I totally understand your insecurity.
That being said, I think you look great, and totally appropriate for church.
You look great friend.

Andrea said...

I know I am a little late with this post, I have been very busy this last week. I think it looks great! But you know I am a shoe person, and I think you could find a really really neat pair of black pumps that would just finish it off! Also, you hair looks great!

Silky Smooth and the Night Rangers said...

I'm gonna lay it on the line, as if I was your personal stylist if you will.......Basically, This dress is wonderful. I don't know why you think your TODs are over exposed, Your G's are covered, so it's not like you're just hanging out all over the place. Secondly, The length........Why are you so concerned? you have nothing to hide. i can understand some hesitation because it's perhaps not what you are used to, but strut your stuff Girl. No body be complainin! Thirdly....Um...we can totally change that "I only own one dress" situation.... A little fabric, some ideas, maybe a drape or two and we could get you into something completely one of a kind made to your specifications and with all of your own wants and ideas......I'm just saying.

Keep the dress and Wear it like you MEan it!

Dana said...

lolololol. Just saw this today--better late then never. Hello, can't see your knees at all!!. This dress shape was made for you (not me) and is just such a sassy additon to your wardrobe. Definitely could you different shoes--and even some sexy black hose in the winter. I boldly wore it with my boots. Looks better on you than me and I love it. Funny that you don't "wear bold prints" but your Maggie sure does. :-) I do love that our fashion styles are so different and yet both can look so great. We really don't have a single body part that is shaped the same, but that doesn't stop anyone from totally mixing us up all the time. Love you sister!!

The Coolest Allen Family said...

Let my add my voice to the choir...super hot! Total keeper.

Ari said...

Girl! You look good and not even close to whorish!