Thursday, September 30, 2010

When Life hands you the CRAP!

To say things have been....ummmmm....Crappy would be an understatement.
Let me just share a quick story, sort of like the cherry on top of the shit sundae that has been our life lately.

I got home from rehearsal last night and was greeted by happy, happy little munchkins.  Gramma Peg had been watching them, and they were really sweet and happy, had dinner, ready to play.
I sat down on the couch as the kids jumped off the table onto the couch next to me(don't judge, just don't).  They laughed and played and squeeled with excitement over play time.  After awhile, as Gramma was getting ready to leave, I said "let's go on a walk".  Max got so excited.  He squeeked out "I go on walk.  Shoes, my shoes."  He then took 2 steps toward his shoes and then literally stopped in his tracks.  He made a cry and stood there.  I thought maybe he bit his tongue or cheek somehow.  He was so sad, he looked at me with this wierd look and cried.  I told him to come over to me, let me take a look.
He walked over, I pulled him onto my lap and was loving him, trying to see if he'd somehow hurt himself. 
BIG MISTAKE!
He then let out another cry, and proceeded to launch everything he'd EVER eaten IN.HIS.LIFE, ALL over me!
After the first projectile explosion, I sat frozen with him on my lap,
my arm up in the air, processing that I was now COVERED in VOMIT!
Then, he unloaded again.
Gramma Peg is laughing, Jere is waking from his stunned stupor, running for the kitchen.
Just before Max went for a third round, Jer grabbed him and ran for the sink.
I sat there still, unable to move,. as I had ENTIRE meals painting a pretty picture on my body.
Finally Peggy grabbed paper towells and I went about the cleaning up business.
Seriously....WHAT was that?

Totally just the icing on our poo cake!
That's what that was.

Killing me to post this pic, as it is MOST unflattering.
Rolls and thigh fat to spare.
BUT, you needed to see the good times.

So here's the thing:
Sometimes life just sucks.
And noone really ever wants to hear about that part.
We WANT to believe that it's just sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.
It's NOT!
Sometimes your (husband) promised a WHOLE lot of things and then lied to.
Sometimes you(your husband) don't have a job anymore and it's scarey as hell.
Sometimes the bad people win.
Sometimes you get flat tires.
Sometimes you're so utterly stressed out over your show you have a breakdown
And you cry A LOT!
Sometimes you don't have any money.
Sometimes you're too exhausted to function.
Sometimes your husband is horribly depressed, and you feel helpless.
Sometimes your daughter pees the bed for the 10th time.
Sometimes your kid BARFS all over you.
Sometimes your kid breaks the bathroom sink and drops his toothbrush down the drain.
Sometimes, you just gotta take a break and regroup.

So, for the tens of you that missed me, just know that I've been a bit bogged down. Sorry for the silence.

Also, you should know that even in all the CRAP and barf covered days, there IS good.

There are sisters that swoop in and bring you lunch, wipe your tears and create a "plan" for you to survive your life.
Same sisters get you a planner and force you to use it.
There are good friends to share dinner and laughs with.
There are loving friends that call and check in on you and LOVE you.
There are willing parents and in-laws to watch  your kids.
There are unexpected "gigs" that offer a ltitle money.
There are sweet babies who offer up prayers that are so adorable and funny you just can't help but laugh.
Dads are home to read stories to their kids at bedtime, and it's so sweet my teeth hurt.
There are words of support and encouragement from many.

So yes, shit does happen.
BUT
I'm ready to move on.

Watched Inside the Actors Studio with Betty White the other day.
She said she considered herself a "positivist", because it sure beats the hell out of the alternative!

True!
It sucks to wallow in negativity and self pity all the time.
SO
I shall return to writing funny and just accepting life for what it is.
We all have problems.
Get over it!

I'm over it!

In the meantime....anyone got a job to offer? haha

Crap cakes and barf tales,

Allyson




13 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I basically just threw up in my mouth a little, looking at that picture.

And I laughed because you are clearly a blogger. No one else, would sit on their couch with vomit all over them, to take a picture. :)

alison said...

and sometimes you instant message with your weird florida friend who throws out random comment after random comment hoping to make you smile just a bit ;) and betty white is a genius....if she told me to sell my earthly belongings and live on a commune to do nothing but watch the golden girls over and over again...i so would! i'll be a positivist if you will :)

The Atomic Mom said...

Holy cow! At least you were at home with reenforcements, not at the Walmart parking lot....oh I'm so sorry.

Rocketgirl said...

Amen to KP's comment on blogging :) I am so dang sorry!! And then after all the CRAP, you can blog about it and you have bloggety friends who tell you they love you and that you are a WARRIOR WOMAN and YOU CAN DO THIS. Hugs babe!!! let me know if there is anything - ANYTHING your Wisconsin fans can do for you :)

erin said...

o.m.g. that is a whole-lotta barf goin on. but i think its amazing that so much crap can happen & you can still look on the bright side :)

Cheeseboy said...

Okay, I was laughing at this in and of itself, but the PICTURE? HA HA! Funniest post of the week, imo.

Kellie said...

I SO hear you on the CRAP part...all I can say is sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together. Love you, girl!

LanaBanana said...

amen to what Kellie said. It's true, the shiz all seems to hit the fan at one time, doesn't it? I mean, life would be too easy if one little tough thing happened at once right? But it tends to all happen together so that we can realize that our lives are out of our hands and that everything comes from the Lord. But not because he's mean or angry at us. Just because he wants us to grow and reach out to him.

Thank goodness for blogging sometimes so that you can step back and reevaluate what is going on, what's important and what can actual be comical (like barf down the front of you...)

Love you.

Cookie Mama said...

If I was a positivist would it be appropriate to say that you look totally hot in vomit? That picture will serve you well when he's a teenager! Haha, all kidding aside I love your post. Thanks for reminding me life is just recognizing that bad stuff happens and we can still choose to see all the good in this world.

p.s. I hope Max & his tummy are feeling better!

JerBear said...

I got poositoovity! How 'bout you!?

DianD said...

Oh YUCK!!!!! How did his tummy hold it all?!?!?!? This too shall pass and we can learn from everything, so there ya have it! Jere is GREAT at his craft and only getting better, so the main thing is to find the venue where he can ply his trade and bless the lives of all those lucky enough to learn from him.... It will happen! :)
Love ya

Natalie said...

I could've went my entire life without seeing that pic ;)

I'm sorry everything is oh so sucky right now...believe me, I've been there and understand.

Hugs to you!

Mel said...

I can't deal with this post.