Now I'm just gonna go ahead and admit something here that might shock a few people. I sort of suck at this whole Mom thing. I know, there are a few of you out there that foolishly think I'm all great at it. Well, I'm not. See, I just believe that kids have to be kids and they have to learn sometimes the hard way. I don't believe in coddling them at all, ummm, ever. And, I also believe that when I need to get ready for the day, well, I just need to get ready. SO, turn on the TV to "kids show" and let what happens, happen. It's the risk I'm willing to take so I don't look like a pile of crap, unshowered, unmake-upped and un dressed. Anyway, for the most part, aside from toy messes and a few screaming matches, things go just fine. Yes, sometimes a kid gets hurt when the other kids punches them or sits on them or whatever, and occasionally a crayon goes haywire on the table or some wall. But these things are all easily remedied.
I've learned a thing or two about how to safely let them be, and for minimal damage to be done. Not the least of which is....
Never EVER leave the chairs down. This is how my kitchen chairs live 90% of the time. This morning, I was momentarily retarded and left them down. My bad.
Because a certain little someone likes to drag them where e'r he may go and get things, whether it be to the sink to "wash" his hands (read, flood the kitchen) or to retrieve these items:
He is obsessed with the flyswatter and with the "colors" pencils, pens, etc. to be found in our claendar holder. (Yes, if you look closely you DO see shows written on the calendar and their premier dates. THAT would be Jer, NOT me)
And really, it doesn't matter putting the chairs up, because he's learned, if he REALLY wants it, he'll just drag his highchair over or the piano bench and get what he's after. Little stinker.
So, this morning as I'm getting ready to get in the shower, and Jere is just getting dressed we hear the kids at our door. Maggie then begins to loudly proclaim, Mommy Mommy, Max is drawing on the door. He's doing something bad. Here again, the "I am a sucky Mom" part. I just said, ok, we'll get there in a minute. 'Cause c'mon, he's done the crayons and pens and pencils thing before. It washes off, no reason to get your panties in a twist over it. (I'd like to add, for the record, Maggie never ONCE drew on a wall or floor, EVER)
But then, Jer opened the door, and I hear "OH NO, OH NO, this is BAAAD!" "Allyson, get over here now and look at this."
Wouldn't you know it....that little shit found the ONE red sharpie and created some pretty artwork on our door.
You better believe he got his bum bum thrown in a time out. Too bad I don't have a picture of his big crocodile tears for the unjustness of that one. When I went in and asked him why he was in time out, he cocked his head to the right and pointed at my door and said "Dooor!" Yep, that's right, you little stink butt!
It's definitely called PERMANENT for a reason!
This is me NOT happy with the discovery, and helpfully pointing out his work.
I went to work immediately on that stuff. I used my magic cleaner, it did NOTHING but smear red all over the door. But that stuff isn't budging.
So I'm sending out an S.O.S ladies. There are a lot of you out there, all better Moms than me, I'M SURE! Is there even ANY way to remove stupid magic marker from doors, OH and from the kitchen floor (yeah, found those drawings later)? If so, please give me your helpful hints. 'Cause this bad Mama does NOT want to have to paint the door. I HATE painting doors.
Add to this "disaster" a non stop crying train from Brooklyn over everything today, and Maggie getting pushed by Brooklyn during their "play" on the couch (whilst I was getting ready) and severely bruising her nose. Like, visible bruise on her nose. And constant fighting over EVERYTHING, and Max throwing ANYTHING he could get his hands on behind the couch, around the house, etc. It's just not been my favorite day.
So, I took them to play with my parents puppies, as IF they deserved this. Pshaw!
Brooklyn looking like an orphaned hippy child.
Maggie who INSISTS on holding a puppy, but ONLY if someone else will pick it up and place it in her arms. MUST be in/on her arm. She won't use both hands to hold it. She's so random.
Then there's this fearless kid. Pick them up, throw them down, squeeze them love them.
Even though he's the biggest, naughtiest booger there is....you just can't help but love that face.
He's permanently mine, and I'm ok with that.
Marker tracks and time outs,