When Life hands you the CRAP!

To say things have been....ummmmm....Crappy would be an understatement.

Let me just share a quick story, sort of like the cherry on top of the shit sundae that has been our life lately.

I got home from rehearsal last night and was greeted by happy, happy little munchkins.  Gramma Peg had been watching them, and they were really sweet and happy, had dinner, ready to play.

I sat down on the couch as the kids jumped off the table onto the couch next to me(don't judge, just don't).  They laughed and played and squeeled with excitement over play time.  After awhile, as Gramma was getting ready to leave, I said "let's go on a walk".  Max got so excited.  He squeeked out "I go on walk.  Shoes, my shoes."  He then took 2 steps toward his shoes and then literally stopped in his tracks.  He made a cry and stood there.  I thought maybe he bit his tongue or cheek somehow.  He was so sad, he looked at me with this wierd look and cried.  I told him to come over to me, let me take a look.

He walked over, I pulled him onto my lap and was loving him, trying to see if he'd somehow hurt himself. 

BIG MISTAKE!

He then let out another cry, and proceeded to launch everything he'd EVER eaten IN.HIS.LIFE, ALL over me!

After the first projectile explosion, I sat frozen with him on my lap,

my arm up in the air, processing that I was now COVERED in VOMIT!

Then, he unloaded again.

Gramma Peg is laughing, Jere is waking from his stunned stupor, running for the kitchen.

Just before Max went for a third round, Jer grabbed him and ran for the sink.

I sat there still, unable to move,. as I had ENTIRE meals painting a pretty picture on my body.

Finally Peggy grabbed paper towells and I went about the cleaning up business.

Seriously....WHAT was that?

Totally just the icing on our poo cake!

That's what that was.

Killing me to post this pic, as it is MOST unflattering.

Rolls and thigh fat to spare.

BUT, you needed to see the good times.

So here's the thing:

Sometimes life just sucks.

And noone really ever wants to hear about that part.

We WANT to believe that it's just sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

It's NOT!

Sometimes your (husband) promised a WHOLE lot of things and then lied to.

Sometimes you(your husband) don't have a job anymore and it's scarey as hell.

Sometimes the bad people win.

Sometimes you get flat tires.

Sometimes you're so utterly stressed out over your show you have a breakdown

And you cry A LOT!

Sometimes you don't have any money.

Sometimes you're too exhausted to function.

Sometimes your husband is horribly depressed, and you feel helpless.

Sometimes your daughter pees the bed for the 10th time.

Sometimes your kid BARFS all over you.

Sometimes your kid breaks the bathroom sink and drops his toothbrush down the drain.

Sometimes, you just gotta take a break and regroup.

So, for the tens of you that missed me, just know that I've been a bit bogged down. Sorry for the silence.

Also, you should know that even in all the CRAP and barf covered days, there IS good.

There are sisters that swoop in and bring you lunch, wipe your tears and create a "plan" for you to survive your life.

Same sisters get you a planner and force you to use it.

There are good friends to share dinner and laughs with.

There are loving friends that call and check in on you and LOVE you.

There are willing parents and in-laws to watch  your kids.

There are unexpected "gigs" that offer a ltitle money.

There are sweet babies who offer up prayers that are so adorable and funny you just can't help but laugh.

Dads are home to read stories to their kids at bedtime, and it's so sweet my teeth hurt.

There are words of support and encouragement from many.

So yes, shit does happen.

BUT

I'm ready to move on.

Watched Inside the Actors Studio with Betty White the other day.

She said she considered herself a "positivist", because it sure beats the hell out of the alternative!

True!

It sucks to wallow in negativity and self pity all the time.

SO

I shall return to writing funny and just accepting life for what it is.

We all have problems.

Get over it!

I'm over it!

In the meantime....anyone got a job to offer? haha

Crap cakes and barf tales,

Allyson