Friday, January 16, 2009

A CLARIFICATION

Ok, apparently I can't just blame a thyroid disorder for my overly hairy face. I've been called out on this, that perhaps it's not my crappy thyroids fault. I thought it was a very plausible thing to blame it on. However it has been brought to my attention by my mother that perhaps it's hereditary. And if by hereditary she means that somewhere in my ancestry there are giant black hairy jungle apes then yes, I'll buy the genetic predisposition to said hairiness. Or maybe, just maybe this is one of womens dirty little secrets** and we ALL suffer from this cruel trick of nature in silence. I mean, it's all good until you get caught in sunlight right? At that hideous moment, all your hairy little secrets are truly revealed for all to see. Riding in a car is a real ordeal, there is no hiding said faults. Never stand outside on a sunny day innocently chatting with a friend and turn profile, all your hairs will stand up and salute your conversation partner. Oh really....what can I blame? Not my thyroid? Well then can I at least blame my thyroid for my fat? Oprah did.

It's a thought.


In other words: Thanks be to ALL who have commented, that is so fun. And it totally validates my theory that we all suffer from this irritating condition. Special thanks to Andrea for the hilarious story of her friend and the bleach cream. Frankly, bleaching my lip sounds a bit painful. And on that note, my lip hair is something I feel I can control and take care of. It's the freaking "beard" that has me at my wits end. But, I have to go back to the lip hair (which for the record is not THAT bad on me). I forgot to share a special little gem of a story inthe original post. It goes like this:

I have this charming student whom I love and adore, his name is Tucker, he's 16. He's been with me since he was like 10 or something, so really he's like my own kid at this point, or just a pesky little brother. So, one day I innocently say, "gee Tuck, looks like you've got a bit of a stash going on there." His response was "no more hair than you've got on YOUR lip." Yeah, he DID say that. I told him that was RUDE! He failed to see why (you have to know him). But, what I didn't get most of all, was why was he defensive about having a stash, he's a boy, they do that. So yeah, I told you......cursed!!


**are you aware that in a recent article I read that another very common problem among women is bladder dripping, or just plain wetting your pants? Yes, it's true, apparently more women than you can imagine suffer from this indignity, for varying reasons. You'll be pleased to note that this is NOT one of the problems I suffer from. I guess God figured the blad, hairy fat thing was enough to deal with.

3 comments:

jen said...

O M G! I'm so glad you never told me that. How humiliating as his mother! But, that's just Tuck.
As to the bladder issue, you're not close enough to 40 yet to truly understand THAT issue. Either that or you haven't had enough babies yet. There is a reason that I no longer jump on the tramp without preparing with a bathroom stop first!

Tucker said...

Ok HERE'S what happened. i was totally joking, and to tell you the truth, i had never noticed such a thing, now at my school there's this girl with a STACHE and she's cool, she's on the volleyball team, but i swear it is more than mine was. and Allyson, remember this...God made us as mammals. mammals have hair on every pore on their body. its how we are. don't blame thyroids, blame your mammalian...ness

Dana said...

Okay......The BEST part of this whole thing is the fact that TUCKER READS YOUR BLOG!!! How freaking great is that?!? Love it. (and LOL)