Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Single Hair

It all started innocently enough. There was just ONE single hair, it appeared out of nowhere it seems, but there it was...black, coarse, and entirely uninvited to my chin. I first remember this hair when I was a Senior in highschool. It was just random, a minor nuisance, and somewhat fascinating. I would duly pluck said hair and all was well again. Well, somewhere along the way, that ONE hair became two hairs. Again, this was still minor and was easily remedied, a little pluck once in awhile and all was right in the world. I wish I had a picture of me in highschool, 'cause even if I had thin hair, I had A LOT of it baby.


What does the hair on my head have to do with a random chin hair you ask? Well, I went on a mission, and somewhere in there I noticed a bit of thinning in my bang area. It wasn't bad, but it had started. After the mission, the thinning went with a vengence. It was horrifying for me really, I could see my scalp. This was NOT cool. It seems nature has a cruel joke to play, it's called thyroid disease. For whatever reason, it makes you go baldy on the head, and then this happens:



Apparently the naughty thyroid funnells good hair from your head, straight to your chin. Yeah, one day I woke up and I was the freaking bearded lady. That is NOT cool nature, NOT cool. Those two hairs became many, and when daily plucking is a necessity else you look like the lady above, you know it's not a good day. So GREAT, now I'm bald, bearded AND fat. OH THE HUMANITY. (All you who thought I was perfect, HA, blew THAT theory all the Hell.) Oh well, thank goodness for good tweezers, magnifying mirrors and the fine art of a good back comb I say.

This post brought to you by bright sunlit windows at 8:00 a.m., magnifying mirrors and 20 dollar tweezers.

35 comments:

Nicole said...

I feel your pain sister. I know the irritation of needing a good pair of tweezers!

jen said...

That, my friend, is your best yet!

Wendy said...

What is up with that huh? Why do the Hyperthyroidism girls get all the luck? They are wicked skinny! I say the Thyroid is a fickle bird!

Emily Lauren said...

Ha ha, I love this post. Dang nature!!! I have a few black hairs that come too and they drive me crazy!! What to do? My grandma still sits in her chair and plucks hers. . I think it's just a long, painful road.
Unless we make it rich and I can get laser hair removal. Then it'll be a short, painful road.

LadyCarma said...

You could blame the hormones from bearing two babies in two years and nursing them! Lots of women blame everything on the hormones. Seriously, they do affect the hair follicles. Now that I have gone through menopause, I have more peach fuzz on my face, near the ears and chin. I have to use my husband's electric razor once a month! Bother!

LanaBanana said...

That bearded lady pic is the nastiest shot ever. Well placed indeed. I echo Jen, an excellent post. Most most brilliant.

Dana said...

uhhhhh, no thyroid problem here....but a seriously intense beard going! Not like it doesn't already take way too much precious time to get ready with the whole hair, makey- etc. Add plucking and half the day is GONE! I blame the parents. It must be in the genes, right?

Sarah S. Foote said...

I love the picture. You crack me up as always.
I was just wondering the other day about what people would look like it we didn't know or follow social norms.
It is comforting to know that I am not the only gal who could not live without tweezers.

The Fischbeck's said...

Wow, I am still laughing. Thank you for this precious gem! And a special thanks need to go out to your sponsors as well!
Gotta 'ENJOY BEING A GIRL!'

Jere is Cool said...

I count my blessings every day for having you in my life. All your readers are jealous that they don't get to witness the "proper sunlight stance in order to maximize plucking results" like I do. I'm sad for them really - it's quite fascinating!

I love you - beard and all!

Crandell Fam said...

Wow, that was hysterical! I hate that my chin seems to think it's part of a man's face as well. How funny that you posted about it! :) LOL

Mom said...

*sigh* it probably is genetic... But the DARK part you got from your dad -- mine are still light... they just stick straight out and drive me nuts when I get somewhere, feel them and have to wait a whole day til I can get home with the tweezers!

Andrea said...

Cleaver!! I have a funny story about facial hair. My friend Cherai(I can write her name because you don't know her) bleaches her upper lip. One day she decided to go to the Temple while applying her make up she noticed some dark hair and applied her cream and whet about her business getting ready to go. The problme is she forgot the cream. She left her house and started to drive away. On her way out of the neighborhood she saw a man from our ward that she needed to talk to. She stopped the car and rolled down the window and started a conversatin with this man (yes the cream was still on her upper lip). Shortly after another friend came up to visit with her and this man and saw her and said with a horrified look "Cherai What is on your lip!" Cherai just about died, and Aaron just laughed. He said he didn't know what to say about the cream so he tried to ignore it but was grateful when Jen brought it to her attention. So needless to say the next day I showed up on her doorstep with some loation on my lip as a joke she did not appreciate it. But I thought I was quite funny. The moral of the story is keep plucking don't try bleach! Have a great day!

The Maxsons said...

You are fa reek ing hysterical and I love you!

alison said...

Oh, the days! I find myself (often) missing your great sense of humor and honesty! You call it as it is! Yes, this is the best post yet! Keep going and find humor in the pesty things in life!

Nikki said...

You are hilarious!!

Tara LaRue said...

You are possibly one of the FUNNIEST people I have ever known and I absolutely love you for it.

I got my thyroid completely removed almost four years ago and I still have to deal with wirey little hairs along my jawline, so I don't know why it's being blamed on the thyroid.

So fun being a woman, eh? Love you dolly...

Erock! said...

You are far and away the coolest bearded lady that I know. :) I love you Ally.

Andersonland said...

We're all as hairy as you...some might even say we're European arm pits. Just to let you know.... :) Next time I see you, perhaps we can pluck togehter.

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misssrobin said...

I never travel without tweezers. I feel your pain. In my chin.

misssrobin said...

I never travel without tweezers. I feel your pain. In my chin.

Mary at Deep South Dish said...

Ah the unspoken things of being a woman, and being a gal in the full throes of menopause, I totally understand.

Happy SITS Day!

Dawna said...

Happy SITS Day!

I feel your pain, as I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism at the young age of 7. Since then, the past 32 years have been field with all sorts of medical maladies. I do deal with hair loss, but so far it isn't noticeable and so far, none has shown up on my chin. But, thanks for making me paranoid! LOL

Untypically Jia said...

I feel your pain! I spend at least 30 minutes daily looking over my face with a fine tooth pair of tweezers! I also wax once a month and even have an electric bikini shaver for emergencies.

Reenie said...

Happy SITS day!

Laura said...

I have thyroid disease too. Well, actually I don't have any thyroids anymore, so I have to take the dreaded supplement. I haven't been balding, but I do have more facial hair than I would prefer.

Happy SITS Day!

Lindy Leigh said...

Happy SITS Day!!!

It's so funny you posted this...I too have thyroid disease and posted this a couple months ago :)

http://lindyandree.blogspot.com/2010/06/between-you-and-me-ladies.html

I am off to read more of your blog! I too am LDS :)

Young Wife said...

I had no idea thyroid disease could do that.

Green Cleaning Coach said...

Never really understood what my mom was going through until reading this! Thank you!

Licia said...

I just had a conversation with my husband about this this morning. Hair sprouts up where we don't want it to, and thins out where we wish we had it...
I'm sorry to hear you've had this ongoing experience. Hair is sooo important to us women. I sometimes wish society didn't care about hair and it was perfectly normal to have a shaved head. It would certainly be a lot easier :-)

CK said...

Lol, lol! Funny picture in the post. I think your header picture is beautiful though ;)

-sitstah CK

CK said...

Lol, lol! Funny picture in the post. I think your header picture is beautiful though ;)

-sitstah CK

Eve said...

HAHAHA... oh my goodness gracious!
I understand about the chin hair issue...
I'm not so worried about it while I'm sane enough to continue plucking. It's those days when I'm too old to take care of myself that I'm concerned about... will my nurse take pity on an old woman with a beard? Should I start saving for laser removal now, so that I can splurge on that before making a down payment on my nursing home accommodations? ;)

Jenn Erickson said...

OMG! Me too! I have Hashimoto's and one of the things that tipped me off and sent me to the Endo was my thinning hair. The chihuahua whiskers were just a bonus!

Interesting learning from Tara, above, that she had her thyroid removed, and still has the whiskers! Dang, must just be one of the many lovely effects of birthin' babes and gettin' older. Sheesh!