Last week I was in a place where really, only happy thoughts and kindness should exist. But this IS me we're talkin about, and well, my opinionation reared its head, even in the "happy" place. 'Cause, well, there was this woman, and her get up was so ridiculous that it bothered me the entire time. And, in my defense, it bothered my sisters and Mom too.
People.....just because you're 1/30th Jamiriquiahookilow Indian, does NOT mean that you should act like you are full blooded. Grasp on to some reality. There are TRACE amounts of that blood running through your white girl veins. TRACE AMOUNTS! Listen up Pocahontas, wearing your hair in semi ponytail/braid things resting squarely on the front of either shoulder in a CLEAR homage to your "so called Native American heritage" is SO 19th Century. Give up the dream white girl, that canoe paddled away long ago. Also, your fringed overshirt.....killing me. I just do NOT get that. It's like super white guys who like to pretend they're, well, not white. My fave example being Seth Green in the movie "Can't Hardly Wait (you really should watch it. cute movie)." He thugged it out and finally one day his friend said..."You're a WHITE GUY, have you LOOKED in the mirror lately?" Clearly this lady didn't have such a good friend, to you know, slap her face into some 21st Century reality.
Ladies, if you are anywhere near the neighborhood of 60 and above, LET THE LONG HAIR GO! Seriously. Nothing is more disturbing or disconcerting than a 65 yr. old with her hair in pig tails. My own grandmother was a hippy to the core and until her dying day (somewhere near 80) she had long, stringy hair, that she was want to wear in pig tails from time to time. ICK! I would like to make a small disclaimer here......IF you are Kirstie Alley, then your long hair is ok. Because you don't look like you're 60, nor act like it and you look good.
Which brings me to my next point. Please dress age appropriately. You can be stylish and still be age appropriate. I do NOT need, nor want to see women of age in booty shorts. I'm not saying that once you get "older" that it's nothing but leisure suits and mumus. No no, there are MANY excellent fashion choices for you out there.
Because yeah, this is NEVER appropriate. Nope, NEVER! Shame on Dillards for selling them.
Sorry CJane, you just CAN'T make the mumu cool.
Oh Rudolph.....why'd ya gotta do that? Santa not paying you enough, you needed a side job, modeling for this attrocity?
And niether is this. Holiday themed sweaters, sweatshirts, etc. Just not acceptable. Embarassing really. And yet, they just keep being made, and bought. And even though it may have been the late 80's, early 90's....i'm saying to a certain sister of mine (who shall remain nameless to protect her fashionista identity)....still wasn't acceptable. They're ugly. They scream GRAMMA (or teacher, cause you all know you had teachers who wore these hideous things), and not in a warm and loving way. Sorry Mom. I know you've rocked a Christmas sweater or two.
And since I'm on a roll here. May as well cover certain hair trends i've seen.
Just what the what is this? Besides totally ugly?
(this does look suspiciously like someone used a sharpie on a picture to achieve these purple streaks)
Random streaks of loud colors.....lame!
Worse though......just tinging the ends with a little turquoise and pink, or any color for that matter. L-uh-AME!
Though this MAY take the cake for stupid and ugly.
"Has anyone seen my face? i seem to have misplaced it amongst this bumped out MOUND of zebra hair. Help me!?"
People are so WIERD!
I will say though.....I do enjoy this current trend:
Wee tiny feathers......IN YOUR HAIR! I have several friends that have done it and they are really cute. You can wash them, and curl them and do whatever with them. From far away, they look like a tiny braid. So see, I'm not all hate, all the time. I do like some things.
Anyway....mostly just want to help people with these 10 simple rules:
1. Accept your ethnicity
2. Don't try to be any other ethnicity
3. Wear your hair AGE appropriate
4. Dress age appropriate
5. BAN all holiday themed/appliqued attire from your wardrobe
6. Remember Mumus are baaaaaaad!
7. Color your hair allll over.
8. Crimping is ugly (sorry that just crept in there)
9. Feathers are cool.
10. Just say NO to jeggings! (what? it had to be said again)
P.S. I didn't post more house tour, because I think you're all bored with it, or me. Just keepin it real.