Accomplished....at a price.

Five thirty a.m. found me dragging myself out of bed this morning. I carefully and stealthily gathered my things, combed my hair, changed my clothes and mosied out the door. You see, I had a rendezvous with destiny. Ok, perhaps not destiny, but with a little torture device known as a bike, and it's accomplice, "the road." Dixie has deemed Saturdays our day to work out in the real world. Get a feel for what it's gonna be like out there on the mean streets. So, by 6:10 a.m. we were at our pre-determined destination, bikes unloaded and I looked like this.....

Ready to roll............................................Ok, ::snort:: I obviously didn't look like THAT! I mean, I can't possibly stand up and ride like that! Perhaps I looked a bit more like this............................................

Huge booty, protruding belly and all. What a sight!

Anyway, Dixie took the lead, followed closely by Jenny, then me, with Dana bringing up the rear. Dana was riding her fancy new road bike, purchased just the evening before. Jenny was on her 10 year old Mountain bike that hasn't seen the light of day in that much time. Dixie was on her awesome craigs list find, and I was on a borrowed bike of Shanes. There was much anticipation on my part, and well...let's get personal here for a moment.

I have become quite adept at the stationary bike, in fact, I dare say I actually like it. Then, the hideous realm of the spin bike was introduced to me last week. It hurts, it hurts BAD and Dixie said that was a better gauge of what it'd be like out there in the real world. Not gonna lie, I was not thrilled at the prospects. So anyway, cut to this morning, my first time on a real bike (other than the spin on erics cruiser at Christmas) in a very many years. So, I hefted my large derrier over the seat, and gently sat upon it. Keep in mind it was already sore from the ill-fated spin bike time. So, I'm on it, we push off for our ride. Here's the thing, about 1 minute in I wanted...to....DIE! Why does noone REALLY talk about the excruciating pain involved in the crotchal area? I mean for reals people, it felt like perhaps, oh I don't know, a baseball bat had been taken to my most precious of areas. I don't think I can adequately describe the pain of it all. And apparently I'm the only one that was experiencing pain to such levels. There was numbness and bruising and pain like I've never quite felt. Frankly, I think a bat might have felt better. I don't know, maybe I just have an extra lot of FAT down there, and we all know fat bruises. Whatever the case, it was HELL. So, I'm one minute in and I'm like, ok, I'm outy. So, I convinced myself to just make it to Lindsey, then I got there and thought, OK fine, I'll just get to Val Vista and then stop. Needless to say, I "convinced" myself each mile to just hang on, because FOR SURE at Higley, I was DONE and I would get off and walk the 4 miles back. It was hard, no it was downright ridiculously hard, but somehow I convinced myself to stay on and I did the whole EIGHT miles. The dumbest part, or most irritating is, nothing else hurt at all. My legs didn't hurt, I wasn't even really breathing all that hard, my groin didn't hurt, my back, nothing...just my freaking hoo hah. So, like I said, I somehow finished and then extracated myself from the evil device of torture so I could go for a 2 mile walk/jog. Only at that moment I realized, "holy hell in a handbasket, my low back is KILLING me." Don't be confused, it hurt NOTHING like the you know wheresy, but it still hurt. So, I took off the helmet (and you KNOW I looked hot in it), put the bike away and headed out for the walk. My legs tricked me and felt a bit like jelly, the back hurt and the peeper was still throbbing. But, again, I prevailed! I made my 2 miles with even a bit of jogging in there. The back pain subsided, the throbbing didn't so much. And don't even worry, Dixie totally finished her 2 miles and then ran it again just for good measure. She's retarded, and I love her for it.

So, at what "price" did I do this? Let's just say, all day, every time I sit down or stand up, there is pain involved. Let's also just say, I seriously wonder how I might have "realtions", and finally...HOW do I ever get on a bike again and ride six MORE miles than I did today? Holy pelvic trauma Batman! Dana has suggested that perhaps I get a memory foam mattress and sit on it. Ok, that's not exactly how she said it, but at 7:00 in the morning, the mental imagery was downright hysterical and we got a good chuckle out of it. But, I think I MIGHT get some memory foam and shove that bad boy in my pants and see if it'll save me, 'cause honestly, I'm not sure I could endure the pain again.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

With that said, I love training for a tri, I love working out everyday and feeling like I'm doing something good in my life and for me!

And finally, I MUST be off. I teach Relief Society tomorrow morning and I haven't even read the lesson yet. Perhaps the next thing I work on and fix in my life is my SEVERE procrastination. Speaking of which, I have a pretty deep thought post brewing in my brain, have for over a week now, and someday I might get it written.

Hoohahs and torture,

Allyson