Tuesday, March 31, 2009


In the immortal words of one Pat Benetar..."Love is a Battlefield" and if this is true, well then today my sweet, sweet Max and I had a skirmish. In my deep love for him, I felt it necessary to do a little nail trimming, as I don't find daggers coming at my face and throat constantly a fun thing. Anyway, he has been so incredibly happy and sweet the last two days I can barely take it. It's a love so crazy deep it breaks my heart. His laughs and giggles just melt me like butter. We had just come back from shopping, he'd been in his car seat for 2 hours and was still smiling at me. I got him out of the seat and laid him on the changing table and began the task at hand. Meanwhile Maggie is now standing at my feet yelling up at me, "MOM, MOM HO me (hold me)." So, first few fingers go off without a hitch. Now I'm on to his thumb, Maggie is now SCREAMING and crying and Max is getting a little jumpy. All is ok though, I have it under control. I carefully put the clippers on his little nail and CLIP. Suddenly Max is totally crying and i don't know why. But then, I look down and I see the hideous truth. Somehow, somehow I had literally cut the whole tip of his thumb off, like a horrifying chunk GONE! I felt so horrible, I just kept telling him how sorry I was. Let it be known that I've done MANY a nail clipping on Maggie and Max and NEVER has this even come close to happening before. So, at first there wasn't much blood, so I carried him in to get a bandaid and some neosporin and then carried him back to the table. Well, somewhere between the table and bathroom he started spurting blood. I looked down and there was blood gushing out of his little hand. The blood was getting everywhere and I couldn't stop it. Max was screaming and crying, Maggie was screaming and crying and I was nearly screaming and crying. I grabbed a rag and started holding his little thumb as tight as I could. Then I had Brooklyn grab me the phone so I could do what any smart person would do....I called Dixie. The conversation went a little something like this.
"Dixie, are you home?"
"I'm having a crisis (explained the situation)." "I don't know what to do."
"I'll be right there."

And then she was there.

She picked up Maggie and calmed her. She looked up how to stop blood flow online, she got me an ice pack and paper towell for Max. She calmly helped me through as I was crying feeling so bad that I'd hurt my little guy so bad. Finally, after 20 minutes of applying pressure, applying ice, raising his little arm over his head the blood stopped gushing and we could get a bandaid on it. In this time we'd given him tylenol and a bottle and he was calm and happy.

Here we are showing off his battle scar/wound. All better with a Dora bandaid. He did manage to get 2 sets of bandaids off before I put more substantial bandaids on.

Just another shot of my little champ. He really did do pretty well considering I've maimed him for life.

There was blood, lots of blood. I don't have a shot of the paper towell or the ice pack smeared with blood.
I learned a couple of important things from this unfortunate situation.
1. Never cut your babies nails with ANY distractions. Or, just never cut your babies nails again.
2. Never attempt to mother without your sisters nearby. Seriously, where would I be without Dixie who calmly swooped in and saved poopgate '08 and now this fingergate '09. I thought I'd literally die when Lana moved away, 'cause she was my go to girl for all mom questions and quick fixes. Then Dixie came and filled the void so nicely. I will be so, so, sooooooo sad when I don't have a sister at my back door anymore. EVERYONE should get to be neighbors with their sisters and bestfriends, it really makes life so much more doable.
Ok, now, on to some other randomness.

Look who loves her some stuffed peppers! Yeah, she does, it's true. I have a great eater on my hands, and I'll enjoy it while I can, 'cause I realize that like tomorrow she could suddenly HATE everything I make.

Also, look who LERVES jicama. Yeah, she went to TOWN on this today. No matter that she thinks she's eating an apple.

In utter randomness, I'm conducting a little experiment this week, and it involves this:

Looks good huh? It's lemon pepper Sole and asparagus (doesn't asparagus make everything look swankier?). I recommitted hardcore to the gym (going every day), drinking my gallon of water a day and not eating after 7:00 p.m. for this whole week. Also part of my week committment is eating fish and asparagus for lunch every day. I know it's wierd, but I'm gonna do it, 'cause I'm SURE it'll bring me some results. I'll let you know.
Well, I guess that's enough for now. I really MUST get in bed, 'cause that alarm goes off VERY early.
Safety clippers and screaming babies,

P.S. American Idol sucked the big one tonight. Noone so far has done well, except my boyfriend Danny. But, that's another post, another day.


jen said...

Asparagus. I knew we were friends for a reason. Just FYI. When I saw you last night, you looked like you'd lost more inches. It's paying off. Just don't get discouraged! Today's April. It's almost time for the race!

LanaBanana said...

American Idol was a bit disappointing...although you know how I love Danny and Adam Lambert. And to finish off the night, wasn't Kris Allen fantastic?! I love him more each week.

I'm so sad about Max's wound. The first time I ever clipped Tatum's fingernails was when I was nursing her so that she wouldn't get squirmy. However, I managed to clip skin and she screamed forever and wouldn't nurse for awhile. Don't feel too bad. He'd forgotten all about it before the next bottle.

Jenn C. said...

Coincidence! I trimmed Joseph's nails for the first time last night and I was shaking! I knew that he would probably scream and thrash about but luckily enough he just laid there and let me clip all of them. This was a first because I know that I have had to fight all of my other children with this task. Max was a trooper, what a good boy you have!
I am jealous that you have so many great sisters and sisters-in-law. I would give my right arm for one!

The Fischbeck's said...

Ring, ring, ring, "Ummm hello.... child protective services? Yeah, I have a mommy to report!"

Can I hire you to come make lunch for me everyday? That does look yum!

Dixiechick said...

We def need to find neighboring houses. I keep trying to figure out how I can make this work all the time. Max was a real trooper.

Wendy said...

Poor Max! I had this happen once when I was using child safety clippers, the person who needed a safety was ME!!! The only benefit to these ridiculous clipppers was that they blocked your ability to see what you were in fact clipping! How retarded is that?! Threw those suckers away.

I am always careful to push their skin back away from the nail while clipping, after my nightmare. No one should clip under durress, to be sure!

American Idol: Adam was wacky with that motown hair. The guy is unbelieveably strange, but his vocal abilities are ridiculous! Ditto on Randy and Paula.

Biggest Loser: I am Hating on Ron right now. What a hipocrite last week wants to toss out Felipe this week, oh how dare you want to vote me out? L-O-V-E how he always tries to make it about who "Needs" to be here, and it cracked me up when Sione called out the irony of that Dead horse that Ron keeps beating. Ron just clings to that because he is the biggest one there, so he thinks it is a line that can't be applied to him.

I love Kristin too, but I thought she should've told Felipe/Sione how she was going to vote, so they didn't have to absorb the backlash of their actions, without the joy of ousting Ron.

Mel said...

Poor Max. I'm traumatized and he's not even my kid. Like I told you, I did that to O once and I've haven't gone near her nails since. Either Daddy clips them, or they don't get clipped at all.