Hello, my name is Allyson and I'm a reality TV hooer (whore, but saying it hooer makes it sound so much less offensive, don't ya think?). Generally, if it's reality, I will watch it (though there are some exceptions, of which I'll cover later). There is something about being a voyeur, about watching the train wrecks that live among us. It's fascinating to see people change their lives, wreck their lives, perform, fight, scream, be in love, out of love, etc. And, if you know me AT ALL you know that I have some VERY strong opinions about things and if you've ever watched a show with me, you realize I voice said opinions regularly. It's amazing how much I can HATE someone on these shows, like seething, white hot hate someone, or conversely, adore someone. I know, it's embarrassing, it's so unbecoming of me, that's why I've convened this group session. I need to air this, and try and overcome myself a little. I mean the "reality" is, it's all editing, the producers choose who they want as characters, as winners, losers, etc. We really have no control over anything, but man, there is a lot of fun in the watching, the "hating" the mindless release of viewing someone else make a fool of themselves, or being inspired by somone who is doing amazing things to improve themselves. Reality TV is the greatest invention since, well, since anything, may it never go away.
So, without further ado, I've decided to post in somewhat a favorite to least favorite order, MY reality shows, with a brief detour to cover those shows I will not, or do not watch.
I WILL NOT watch ANYTHING with "real housewives" in the title. What a bunch of crap. I will not watch Survivor, never have, never will, it bugs me. I used to watch The Bachelor, I no longer do or will. It's just so contrived and stupid, and none of them except Trista has ever worked. I REFUSE to see crap like Flavor of Love, Rock of Love or Girls Next Door, or any stupid reality show based around a worthless celebrity or non celebrity who thinks they're a celebrity, which I guess means, NOTHING ON MTV ever!
The Amazing Race: This show holds a very special place in my heart. Way back when season 2 started, I was sitting in the living room of Julie Fischbecks house, while she and Jere were in the other room looking or listening to music. I was bored and I turned on her TV. There was this show starting called the Amazing Race. I have been HOOKED ever since. I will love Ken & Gerard and Team Cha cha cha forever! There have been seasons where we were so enraptured, we could barely breathe. We would have "Amazing Racebowl" parties where the food was plentiful and we were all there to see the final episode ane cheer the winners on. There was only one tragic misstep and that was the "family" season, that sucked! The adventure is grand, the views of the world amazing, the challenges insane, etc. If you don't watch this show, there is something wrong with you. It's on Sunday nights right now, check it out.
Forever hated from this show: Flo, Victoria, any of the stupid dating models. I can't remember the names of the ugly older couple from season 2, and I know there are others.
Forever LOVED: The hilarious brothers from season 4 or 5, Ken & Gerard, Cha cha cha, Uchena and Joyce, Chip and Kim and others.
The Biggest Loser: What is NOT to love about a show that shows you people getting skinny. Literally working their asses off before our eyes. It is ridiculously inspiring and amazing in every way. Do I think/know the show is totally rigged as to who they want in the finals, yes, but that is beside the point. The point is, watch, learn, be inspired, go out and do something healthy. I particularly love this season, there are some great people on their. Sione is my fave, followed closely by Kristin. Totally done with Ron, but whatev. Season 2 was my favorite with Matt and Suzy, and then Season 3 with Eric, so AWESOME!!! And I heart Bob forever!
So You Think You Can Dance: Oh my WHERD I l-o-v-e this show! Perhaps it's because I am a totally tragic non-dancer. I'm living my dreams through them, that could be. But, whatever the case, it's just sooooo fun to watch them dance, and see what choreographers come up with week after week. It is safe to say that I'm totally in love with Wade Robson and his choreography. He's a total freak of nature, but man, his Rama Lama Bang Bang from season 2, UNTOUCHABLE!!!!! And, who wouldn't love Mia Michaels and her freakishness. I like to use the term banoodles, just in honor of her. I'm soooo excited for that show to come back, and fear not friends, it starts on May 21, mark you calendar NOW!
Project Runway: Are you kidding me? Soooooo fun! I'm the least fashionable person ever, I don't get it at all, but man I sure love to see what they can create in no time flat. People with vision amaze me! And furthermore, who does NOT love Tim Gunn, he's the best!
Top Chef: Again, not a foodie, and certainly not a chef, though I can make a few things quite well. There is something so fascinating and fun about watching people have to create meals out of crap found in a vending machine, or at a Circle K. Of course they do many other challenges, but that was a couple they had to do. And, because of this show, I now have the misfortune of knowing what a monk fish is and what the heeby jeeby it looks like.
American Idol: What is there to say? There are singers, some really sucktastic and some really great. Chris Daughtrey will forever be my boyfriend, oh how I love him. It is through this show that I discovered I have some freakish hidden love for dirty rockers. I won't lie, I loved Constantine and Bo Bice (hey you can't deny that guy could seriously entertain). Chris Daughtrey just melted me, and still does. So, as it is currently running, let's discuss the good and the bad.
This season my boyfriend is totally Danny Gokey. I LOVE him, everything about him. His voice, YUM, his glasses, his sweetness, just love it all. Krys Allen, cute and really pretty good, underestimated. Matt G., that kid can seriously kick A. Last night he sucked, but that's beside the point. And of course Adam Lambert. I think I could write an entire entry just on him. His vocal skills are so retarded it's mind boggling. I have NEVER seen someone with such utter and true control over their instrument. He does things that just shouldn't be possible. I realize that he is really too gay to function, he's freaky and wierd with his obnoxious hair and painted nails. But, you can NOT deny the talent. Frankly, he is in a whole league of his own. As for the girls, they aren't even worth talking about. It's embarrassing really. Judges, i like the new girl, LOVE Simon, hate Paula, 'cause she's stupid and Randy is just annoying. Ok, got that covered.
Americas Next Top Model: Seriously, talk about freakshows and trainwrecks. Sorta makes me sad to know what messes exist out there. However, to see how they can turn ugly girls into stunning with hair, makeup and camera shots is AMAZING!! Could totally do without Tyra, 'cause she bugs the crap out of me, but what can ya do?
Dancing with the Stars: Again with the dancing. I'm fascinated, in awe, impressed. And, it's super fun to make fun of the crappy "celebrities" who give it a whirl. Even when i don't think I'll like the season for who they have, I'm still drawn in. Drew Lachey will always be my favorite, though I really loved Joey Fatone and Apollo Anton Ono. I think too, it could be the fact that those dancer chicks and guys have the MOST amazing bodies ever and I marvel at how little they can wear and still look stunning.
Design Star: Can we say...David Bromstad?(season 1 winner) LOVE HIM! Let's face it, if it has to do with design/decorating of any kind, I'm a goner. I LOVE to watch pretty much anything on HGTV. I'm an interior designer in my heart/dreams. And this show is FAR superior to the gay Top Design on Bravo.
Extreme Makeover Home Addition: Can't stand Ty, and all the cheesy schlock, but I LOVE to see the new house and it's decorations at the end. I have been known to cry a time or two if I watch the families story, but mostly, just like to see the finished product.
Make Me A Supermodel: Bravos poor version of Top Model. It's sorta retarded, and yet, as stated, I'm a hooer and I watch it anyway. What is it with the model shows bringing out the real freaks who live among us.
Well, this is sufficiently long and ridiculous, but at least I've said my 2 cents worth. Please, let me know what your faves are or aren't. Who do you love or hate from this season of AI, or seasons past of other shows. Let's dish!
Reality and trainwrecks,
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