Thursday, January 6, 2011

Parental Fail 8 billion and ONE...

I HAD to put these two little tid bits down before they're forever forgotten in the busy that is life.

Sometimes kids just say the funniest things, and that causes a good belly laugh, which in turn makes all the eye gouging, pull your hair out antics worth it.

So, it's Monday morning and I said that we needed to put coats on.  Maggie asked me why, and I said "because it's freezing cold outside." 

To which she replied:

"Don't you mean it's freezing balls?"


Guess whose Daddy LOVES that phrase just a little TOO much!

And though it caused a good laugh, I also cringed because I worry that somehow we are raising the crudest three year old that ever walked the earth.  I mean, she already likes to call everyone a poop face, or poop head, or poop butt (which for the record I claim no responsability for, as I don't call anyone a poop butt, and haven't since at least 2nd grade).  I'm trying to curb that situation, as well as the HATE situation.  We've told her that we no longer use that word.  And, if she wants to express dislike for something she MUST say "I don't like."  Or, Jere likes to get her to say "I strongly dislike that." OR, "I have strong disdain for." What?  It's funny to make three year olds talk above themselves.

Moving on.

Yesterday I got a VERY random and VERY wild hair up my bootay and decided that I was gonna take the kids to the park.  Just get out and go.  And not only take them, but actually PLAY with them on the equipment and such.

We got there and we were the ONLY people in the whole park.  It was AWESOME!  Whole place to ourselves.  Of course we had to do the requisite swinging.  (sidenote....why do I hate swinging so much?)  I pushed them all for a good long time and then declared swing time was OVER!  Get out, run, play, do the slides.

Brooklyn spotted them first.  A discarded pair of little girl panties at the bottom of the slide.  She was mildly disgusted by this, and pointed them out.  A little bit later it was Maggies turn to "make the discovery."  She made sure I saw them and knew about them.

About 45 minutes later the grounds crew showed up.
     Wait...let's discuss them.  WHAT is their point?  This guy literally walked around and raked circles under all teh swings and at the bottom of all the slides.  That's all he did.  Raked circles.  Wierd.

The kids were now playing on the big kid swings.  Brooklyn was trying to teach Maggie how to pump and swing herself.  I'm standing off by a different slide doing leg lifts. What?  I was trying to get SOME exercise in.  When I hear Maggie yell....

"Mommy, MOMMY.  That man took the panties and someone still needs to put them back on."

Needless to say, I laughed A LOT!  I tried to tell the garbage picker upper of his "faux pas" but he didn't hear me.  She was seriously distraught that some poor little girl was gonna be panty less now.  I assured her that all was well.  That little girl wouldn't want them back now anyway.

It really was a great time at the park.  We had races, all of which Brooklyn won, except one.  I actually beat that little gazelle one time.  I played on the teeter totter ducky thing.  I sat on the slide and helped Brooklyn spell words in the sand, watched the kids build "castles", and just had fun.  I had to let my OCD go and not care that the house looked like a tornado had blown through that morning.  It was so worth it.  Plus, they all took good naps, so score one for the Mommy.

Max trying to "rock" the princess hat, Maggie trying to hold her ridiculous hair out of her face and Brooklyn just smiling sweetly, and apparently dressed for a playdate on the tundra. hehehe

I took this as she was actually zooming down the slide.
I know, how actiony of me.
The hat was our compromise for not doing her hair.
It didn't work so well, as it kept falling off.  BUT, she's just so dang cute in hats.

Frozen balls and park panties,


Post script:  As for the locking the kids IN rather than out.  Here's the deal.  I DO lock them in their room sometimes.  BUT for whatever reason it freaks Maggie out so bad she won't stop screaming or hyperventilating if I ever lock the door.  And also, I fear her not being able to go to the bathroom if she needs to.  So, for now, I sometimes lock them IN, but currently the locking them OUT seems to garner the results I need.  And Sarah, NO judgements upon you for locking them in.  We all do what we gotta do!


erin said...

oh the classiness of a public park. & how awesome are you for totally working out the legs while at the park? thats some good dedication!

AndreaLeigh said...

what the heck happened that a little girl was pantyless? that kind of freaks me out.

funny stuff!

Cookie Mama said...

A panty scandal at the park, that is awesome! I love that Maggie was concerned for the owner. Kudos to you for seizing the moment and spending the day somewhere fun with your kids. Love the pictures!

DianD said...

Fun and funny! I, too, am a bit concerned that the panties were found at the park, but glad Maggie realized someone needed to put them back on! Glald you wrote these episodes down! You'll be so glad you did!

Grace Adams said...

If they'd been men's briefs, I would have told you they prolly belonged to my ex-husband. I pulled into my driveway several years ago to find my dachshunds playing tug of war with a pair of his.