Friday, January 7, 2011

Yoga Booty BEWARE!

"Before you eat, do you want to do this DVD with me?"


"Ok fine, I guess so."

I went to the gym twice this week, and then somehow magically missed out on the next 3 days.  So, when Julie threw the invitation out, I knew I had to do it.  She'd done the DVD on Monday and told me how hard it was and that she wanted to do it with me.

Do Not be decieved by these ladies and their smiling faces.   They mean business and it was HARD.  The warm up was a full on workout.  I was sweating and panting after the stretches, which were all kinds of crazy.

We moved on to the ballet section, which, not gonna lie....HURT.  Maggie was standing next to me totally putting forth her best effort to plie and do her leg lifts.  My body was NOT made for 1st position, 2nd or ANY position that includes awkward leg positions and squats at the same time.

Next we moved on to the body sculpt section, and this would include the use of hand weights.  I had a miniscule 5 lb. weight in each hand and holy burn in the traps batman, I was feeling it.

Things were moving along nicely.  I was sweating, I was hurting and we were a mere 20 min. in to this stupid thing. 

JUST as I was swinging my arm with all my might, holding the 5 lb. weight backward to build my triceps there was a loud THUD!  It sounded like when you drop a weight on a concrete floor.  Except this time, it was my weight meeting Maggies head.

Maggie walked by RIGHT as I swung and I literally PUNCHED my child in the head.  Cold cocked her if you will.  And it was not pretty.

There she lay on the floor, a pile of tears and hysterics.  I picked her up and apologized profusely for inflicting such pain upon her.

Let me tell you, what results from a solid weight meeting a forehead at a high speed is NOT pretty.

Mom of the year right here.
I felt SO bad!

Would you LOOK at the SIZE of that thing?
It blew up like a balloon.
I think NASA could see that from the Moon!

I held her for a long time.
We iced it, gave her Tylenol and let her cry it out.
And at one point I did ask her her name, how many fingers I was holding up, to explain Newtons Theory and what the meaning of life was. 
Good news....she answered all of them.
I KNEW she was gonna be ok.

When she was finally calm enough to talk, she said:
"I was JUST trying to get to the kitchen."
Learn the lesson now kid, the kitchen is your enemy. hehehehe

The offending piece of equipment.

I'm happy to report that the bump has gone down and is now just a respectable looking bruise on her head.  And she's happily running around, playing house with Brooklyn (who slept through all of this by the way).

Clearly there needs to be a warning issued....Exercise at your own risk, and with no small children present.

'Cause  Yoga Booty BEWARE YO!


***for the record...I am day 2 of missing tweezers and I'm nearing mock 10 freakout mode.  I can't LIVE without my tweezers.  By tomorrow you're gonna have to start calling me Pedro and I'll need some moustache wax.  This is NOT good people.  NOT GOOD!***


The Driggs said...

That is awful!!! I am so glad, however, that it was a) 5 pounds and not 50, and b) that it's the weight that has a little bit of a cover on it (I know, it's not really a cushion). Poor poor thing! And I know that you, being the mother as well as the holder of the weight, must have felt awful! So glad to hear she's up and running again. Good luck with your yoga DVD. Sounds evil!

farm chick said...

Oh my goodness...I had to chuckle, which is so sad, but I did.

Sad, I hope your daughter is feeling better.

And I will pray to the tweezer GODS that they show up, I am on the same boat as you with this thing. Thanks goodness for tweezers and mirrors or I mike get mistaken for a man :)

The Brinkerhoff's said...

OHH!! Poor Maggie that looks so bad!! hope she is on the mend! If you ever want to drop maggie off to play we are totally down... then you can have time to get your yoga booty on!!!

DianD said...

It was a sad day, but I laughed pretty loud because of the way you portrayed it! Poor Maggie. Bet she learned her lesson and remind her that the same things apply when people are swinging! That will save her from black-eyes on the playground! Never walk behind people/swings or be sure you leave a wide berth if you do!

alison said...

you SEE.....working out is hazardous to your health. (at least it is if you are a small child!) and yoga is evil, fyi. i had a fitness trainer back in the day (you know...before we had kids and could afford luxuries like that!) and he would throw down on circuit training and boxing 4 days a week...and then there was yoga one day a week. i swear, if i have to ever do another chattaronga (or however you spell that torturous position) i will know that i am in hell.

in regards to the case of the missing tweezer ....that is why i have 5 sets of the same kind of tweezer. one in my bathroom, one in the kids' bathroom, one in my purse, one in austin's shaving kit, and one in my car. ya never know when a tweezing situation might arise ;) tweezing is serious bidness, yo.

Kristina P. said...

Oh, that is horrible! See, exercise is dangerous! Don't do it!

Ari said...

But the video looks awesome! You should come do it at my house where no small children are present :O)

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I just did the same thing to Coby the other day! Well, almost the same thing, except I didn't do as much damage. ;) Still, though, they get RIGHT in the way, no matter how hard you try to avoid them!

Grace Adams said...

Dang. Good thing it was only a 5 lb. weight.

Tucker said...

Is it bad that I couldn't restrain my laughter from the time I read TTHUD until I returned from the batgroom 3 minutes after reading the post?