Friday, April 23, 2010

Lifestyles of the "rich and famous"...

Did you have ANY idea that you were totally reading the blog of a "famous" person?  A celebrity if you will, or shall we say a celleb-ruh-TAY! No? Well, the secret is out....I had my brush with "fame" last night.  Try not to swoon to much over me people, this fame thing is difficult.  I need my privacy, no extra pictures or requests to hear my "voice" allowed.  Oh, the life I lead.

Ok, here is how it all went down.

I was going about my day, as usual, when I received a phonecall.  I couldn't take said call, as I was busily teaching a student how to sing better than she already did.  When I finished with her, I checked my message.  It was my ultra cool, super awesome, advertising agency owning friend John.  He asked if I could come down and do a radio spot for him, 'cause "I'd be just perfect."  Oh, and he'd PAY me(no need to say another word friend, you said pay, I'm all ears). 

I of course returned the haste.  Told him that I'd be able to squeeze him in on my already full star calendar, but the pay would HAVE to be worth it.  Or, I just called and said, "you want little ol' me?  are you sure?"  "Ok, I'll be RIGHT there."  Lest he change his mind.

We toodled on over to his super cool and modern office and got to work.  He handed me the script and I looked it over.  It was a commercial for a car dealership in Tucson.  I was s'posed to be the "annoyed, snarky, somewhat sarcastic wife" of this overzealous husband.  John said he just KNEW I was right for it immediately.  Hmmmm, should I feel bad about this?  Is he suggesting something about me?  Whatev, I DO know how to roll my eyes really well.

I read my lines A LOT several times until we felt like it was right.  We played around with the last line, coming up with just the right ender.  There was coaching, there was some giggling, but most of all, there was just me, totally rockin the voice over work. And by rockin I mean, scared to death of messing it up and fighting my own insecurities of how my voice sounds.  For reals, I HATE the way my voice sounds, especially recorded.  But, Jere says, it just sounded like me, and it was all good.

John worked his genius, and FAST magic, cutting, pasting, dubbing, fixing and voila, a commercial was born.  Well, he still needed to add music and sound effects, but other than that, ta da.

He then wrote me a fat little check for my hotly saught after services and jer and I were on our way.

We celebrated my hardcore celebrity by layin down the sweet moola at the ol' CPK (California Pizza Kitchen for you commoners).  I was feelin so in the "flow" that we ordered not one, but TWO appetizers, AND we each got our own pizza.  For reals guys, this being rich and famous thing is AWESOME!

Try not to be jealous, or a hater for how HAWT I look.  And don't fret over the wedding ring on the middle finger.  It's just the latest fad.  I started's the coolest.  I had to black out the actual amount, 'cause I didn't want you to cry in pain at the shear number of 0's.

Now, if you'll just form a line to the right, I'll be glad to give you an autograph.  Right after I go and wipe my sweet little 2 year olds poopy bum (she's calling to me from the bathroom). 

See, it's a glamorous life I lead.

Champagne dreams and cavier wishes,


Ok, in all seriousness...I must say thanks to Johnny for being the coolest EVER!  I truly love this guy.  Also, I have to mention, uh-GAIN that I have the grooviest friends, connected all over the place. Thank you  for thinking of me.  Thank you for a really fun little experience. And thanks for the flipside...

See, now I have to tell you this part:

The tragic flip side to "the biz." 

I ended up on the cutting room floor.  sniffle, snort....SIGH!

Apparently when they presented it to the customer (AFTER they had already approved the script) they decided that all they really wanted was prices and sound effects, no clever and whitty reparte between a husband and a wife.  BOO! 

But don't worry, he's sending me over a copy of my star vehicle, so you all can hear my "genius."  Patricia Heaton, she has NOTHIN on me.  HAHAHAHA  Look for it in the future.

And, as a final, throw away note... 

Did any of you SEE the guy who just won the whole freaking lottery?  SERIOUSLY!  It totally supports my theory that only truly white trash people or 90 year olds win it.  Which goes with my other theory that you have to buy a winning ticket at a totally obscure place like Skeeters Gas 'n Go.  'Cause have you EVER heard of someone winning that bought their ticket at the local Kroger, or 7 Eleven?  I thought not.  How can I ever have my world domination if I don't get to win the stinkin jackpot?  Oh what?  I actually have to play?  Whatever, minor detail.  Alls I'm sayin is, I hope the guy doesn't get plowed by the stampede that is about to hit him, called relatives, all wanting a piece of THAT pie. 

Good thing I'm already on my way to wealth and fame with my "on the floor" radio spot.  Phew!


Kellie said...

You crack me up! Thanks for the laugh :)

Rocketgirl said...

That is so cool!!!! My favorite part was that you went out and celebrated like rockstars. Dude, two appetizers??? I don't think I've ever done that. I can't wait to hear it!!!

Emily Lauren said...

So cool Allyson! I bet it sounded great! I want to hear it when you get a copy.

Johnny is one of my favorite people ever, he's the best. BUT, I'm a little offended he's never called me to do a commercial :)

I'm surprised you were able to eat at CPK without being smothered with fans. Only a matter of time, ha ha.

Jenn C. said...

That is a great pic of you! I will have to say "I knew her when" soon! I like to rub elbows with the rich and famous especially at MCC in the summer time!

jen said...

Cutting room floor? Dang it.

carol said...

Wow, is there a reality show or dancing with the stars in your future?

DianD said...

Sounds kind of like Book deals....Only after several "cutting room floor rejections" does the real deal happen. One of these days we'll hear you/see you even? on a real commercial! Now that will be cool!
Love ya

Rachel Cotterill said...

Typecast already? ;) Great story... and even if you did get cut, you also got paid! Happy SITS Saturday!

Babes about Town said...

LOL well at least you got the cheque and the double appetiser celebration. This is just a stepping stone to greater things (that's what I always tell myself anyway). Thanks for the laugh!

Linda said...

You got the cash for it! You are a STAR!
A SITS Friend