A Vent.......fffllllbbbbttttttttt

You know what.......

BLECH!!!

As I sit here on a Friday night, in my pj's, feeling bloated, exhausted and somewhat angry (Ok, not just angry.....pissed!),  I'm trying to figure out how to even talk about what I'm feeling.

And it does NOT help that Say Yes to the Dress is playing and totally distracting me.  But that's totally beside the point.

Anyway, I think I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but then again, maybe I didn't.  But, one Sunday I had to take Maggie to the Take Care Clinic at Walgreens because it was open and she had been crying about her ear for 3 days.  So, I sucked it up and took her in.  It cost me $79 freaking bucks plus another 20 for the prescription.  That sucked.  It was 99 dollars I definitely didn't have.  But, what am I s'posed to do.

You see, we don't have insurance.  Nothing.  It's terrifying and horrible. 

Anytime the kids get sniffles or complain, I just hope and pray it'll go away.  Or we do every home remedy we can think of and wait it out.  Don't even think about one of US getting sick.  It's not allowed.  Though we DID have to finally break down a couple months ago and send Jer to the Dr. after he'd been sick almost a week and not getting better.  Surprise....HORRIBLE strep throat.  Another 100 bucks we didn't have.

So, a couple days ago Maggie randomly started saying her right ear hurt.  She would say something, but usually only at night.  So, I'd load her up on tylenol and ear drops and she'd get through the night and NEVER say a thing all day long.  Then, last night she woke up around 10:30 and was miserable.  Her other ear was hurting and really she ended up being awake or restless most of the night.  But this morning, she woke up fine and played all morning as if nothing was wrong.  And you have to understand.  When you have NO money and NO insurance, you live in a world of constant denial.  "Oh, she's playing and happy, maybe she's fine.  yeah, she's probably fine."

I got my lazy self out the door at NOON today to run to Kohl's and Target.  That's all I wanted to do, go to a couple of stores, get some lunch, call it a day.  However, literally the MOMENT we walked into Kohl's Maggie started crying and would not stop.  Her ear was hurting. I held her and tried to comfort her while we were in the return line.  She laid her head on my shoulder and kept her hand over her ear and saying over and over "stupid ear, my stupid, stupid ear." That wasn't awkward or anything.  I returned my stuff and we headed to the car.  She was miserable in a whole new way.  Her eyes were starting to glaze, with that sick look.  So now I didn't know what to do.  It was 1:00, I tried calling the Dr., they were closed until 1:15.  I was almost at the Doctors and i didn't want to drive CLEAR home if I was gonna take her in.  So, I dragged the kids over to Chik Fil-A for a retarded expensive lunch.  Maggie stopped crying and ate her food, and just clung to me.  We finally finished up there and headed to my sisters to wait out some time.  The Dr. could get me in at 4:00.  Until we got some Advil in her, she would/could NOT stop crying, moaning, eyes rolling back in her head, screaming as if someone was shoving ice picks in her ears.  It was AWFUL!

4:00, we get to the Doctor.  My kids have this insane and unhealthy hatred for the doctors office.  But today, things seemed to be under control.  Brooklyn held Maggies hand all the way in and down the hall, and frankly....it was adorable.  All was well until the Dr. showed up.  Maggie instantly started screaming and crying.  Poor Dr. just trying to look in her ears was impossible.  She was literally screaming  "I don't like being here. I don't like YOU.  I don't want to be here." 

Verdict:  DOUBLE ear infection.  DUH!

Well, No shit Sherlock. I had to pay $72, SEVENTY TWO dollars for you to look in her ears and tell me what we already knew?  It just pisses me off SO MUCH that they charge that much for literally 4 minutes of their time and doing nothing more than looking in their ears.  There should be a sliding scale of fees.  Check the ears.....$20.00, have to give a shot $25.00, diagnose cancer $alot more.  But this obscene 72 bucks for just walking in the door.  SPARE ME!  And then, THEN, I had to pay SEVENTY NINE dollars for a prescription of Augmenton.  That is 151 dollars MORE.  Whatever, just add it to the credit card debt.  I mean, WHAT am i s'posed to do.  My child is sick, she has to be taken care of.

So, I'm just done.  DONE!  Frustrated with the system.  Here's the deal, EVEN IF we HAD money to pay for private insurance, we would not be able to get it.  NoONE will carry us because we've had gastric, and we're overweight.  So, there is that.  And Jere is a full time student, and if he covered us on student insurance, it would be something like 5 grand for the semester, which HELLO, we don't have.  So, our only option is government, which is actually great, IF you can deal with the hell and crap you have to to get it.  I am just SO SICK of the grind.  I'm exhausted and frustrated and a little/lotta freaking out.

And frankly, it so didn't help that I got home with the medicine, pulled it out of the bag, and those douches hadn't even mixed it.  They'd sent me home with a couple of bottles of powder.  SO, I had to turn around and go back to the freaking pharmacy so they could mix it.  It's a damn good thing I'm overly nice and somewhat of a pushover in things like this.  'Cause that pharmacist felt soooooooo stupid.  If I was meaner, I woulda thrown a fit and demanded they give me something for the inconvenience of it all.  But no, I just half smirked and told him it was NOT my favorite moment of the day.

SIGH!

So thanks for letting me get that out.

And if this is too heavy and lame...feel free to go back a post and watch cute/hilarious Maggie singing videos.

I promise to get back soon with funny kid stories and snarky comments.  I've still got plenty of that.  Trust me...PLENTY of that.  And I have a new friend, he's fab.

Overpriced and underfunded,

Allyson