Friday Confessional Again

http://www.glamazonmormonmom.blogspot.com/

Okee dokee folkee (oh seriously, my cleverness knows no bounds), time to play along.  Click on the link above to read others confessions, or add yours.  It really can be cathartic, or stressful, whatever.

1. I am horrible at brushing my kids teeth.

2. Like 3 times a week.  Which makes me feel like the worst Mom.

3. Since I brush my own teeth 3 times A DAY.

4. But I hate the hassle of dealing with them and all their squirming and fighting of the brush.

5. I ate 5 breadsticks at lunch today.  My stomach does NOT thank me,nor do my thighs.

6. I didn't go to the gym ONE time this week.  NOT ONCE.

7. For no other reason than, I didn't feel like it.

8.  This makes me feel like a giant, hideous sloth.

9. I'm doing a triathlon NEXT SATURDAY.

10.  I'm scared, I'm really scared this time.

11. Most of the time, if I'm home, and I'm talking on the phone, I'm also reading blogs ( I don't talk on the phone all that much).

12. This means, I'm MOSTLY NOT listening to the person on the phone.

13. Half the time, I have no idea what they were talking about.

14. I lose my patience WAYYYYYY to quickly and to easily.

15. It's not fair to my kids.  But then again, their constant shenanigans and whining aren't fair to me either, right?

16. I haven't had sugar in 4 weeks.

17. I REALLLLY want some today.

18. I am determined to be strong and not give in, 'cause my goal is to make til after the tri.  Wish me luck.

19. I never listen to the radio, EVER! 

20. I actually hate listening to music most of the time.  And I majored in it? (music theatre that is, which involves music, i'm just sayin)

Ok, now it's your turn.

Peace out,

Allyson

Daughtry

DAUGHTRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

So, I went to this concert last night.  It = AWESOME!

Getting to see my boyfriend sing, live, was incredible.  For reals people, he is a gifted, gifted singer and performer!  Look at that face, what is NOT to love?  He's adorable. AND, he just seems so, I mean he IS so nice.  Of course I know that, being as he's my boyfriend and all.  Don't worry, Jer is totally ok with me and Chris.

I shall give you a long brief rundown of the evenings events.

Three white chicks headed out for a night with "my man Daughtry."  This evening was made possible by Miz Julie, as she bought me the ticket as a gift.  Many thanks Julz, I really appreciate it.  On the end there is Amy, she's a long time friend to Julie and Jere.  She's enjoyable.  And, she and I were apparently totally going to Sadies.

Three white chicks trying to look like Hard core rockers.  Not so much.  But, Jere says I look hot, so that's all that matters.  Really?  Am I that tall?  Yes, yes apparently I am THAT tall. I s'pose with 2 inch heels I'm nearly 6 ft. tall.  Or what some people like to call Amazonian. But why must those two be so extra short?  I feel a bit out of place in this photo. Just me and the wittle people.

After our brief little photo op, we hopped into the rockstar minivan for our trip out to the arena.  There was a quick drive thru at Arby's, where I enjoyed a chicken salad sandwhich on the road. 'Cause THAT'S how bad A rocker girls do things.

Upon arriving at the arena, which is completely surrounded by restraunts and happening hot spots (had I known this I would have waited to eat something more suitable to my super sweet rockstar status) we got out of our "limo" and headed in.  But not without taking a couple of pics first.

You know, courtesy shot of my hot ticket, with our great seats.  And then the obligatory shot of me holding my ticket in front of the arena.  What?  Not everyone does this?  Whatever, have I mentioned we are SO WHITE, old ladies, going to a rock concert?  (as a sidenote, i think my letter to Avenue worked, as my arms are covered as is my buttfront.  Thank you Avenue, THANK YOU)

Oh yeah, there was this pic too.  Julie didn't want to be left out.  Plus, i think she didn't want me anyone to forget who bought her this ticket.  THANKS Julie.

A view of the stage from our seat.  Yeah, we were pretty much VIP seating.  But for reals, they were great seats.  Only thing better would have been front row, so my boyfriend and I could have made out shook hands, like he did with all those who-ers that WERE up there.  Some lucky B got his sweaty head towell too.  Whatev.  I have his undying love, so I win.

Just us three "hawties" awaiting the start o' the concert.  And by start I mean the FIRST opening act, which was roughly TWO hours before his royal hotness first appeared.  PLEASE note the chick behind us.  That is funny stuff yo!

Is it time to start YET?  I have a MAN to see!  Seriously, i don't belong at concerts, or cool places, because I'm all...."let's get on with it people, blah, blah, blah."  I am not a go with the flow, free partying kind of chick.  However, I will say this....there was some EXCELLENT people watching.  So fascinating what people choose to wear, or who they're with.  I had the GREATEST outfit in my sites to prove my case to Lane Bryant, but I couldn't get a pic of the girl who was offending us by wearing it.  Ah well, what ya gonna do?

So first a group called Cavo sang.  They were fine.  The lead singer actually had a really great voice.  But, like I said..."tick tock, who cares."  Then came Lifehouse, which if you must know, I've never even heard of.  And apparently, they're a very well known band.  They were good.  I enjoyed the lead singer, 'cause he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, oh and he could sing. And, did you know....the drummer is from Gilbert, AZ.  Went to the same highschool as my nephews.  That's cool.  So, they finally finished their set and then there was another 40 minute wait for them to set the stage for Daughtry.  It was prime people watching to be sure, but MAN, I was READY!!!!  The anticipation was killing me.

Let me just say, as I have said before.  I loved Chris Daughtry from the MOMENT he first auditioned in Denver for American Idol.  I loved his voice, i loved his look, his niceness.  He could sing, and he could perform.  Plus, he totally reminds me of my friend John (the one who almost made me famous) and he's the nicest guy ever, so you can see why I liked him.

FINALLY it was time, and their build up was AWESOME!

I'm totally giddy and excited....'cause Baddy baldness was about to appear. I'd only been waiting FOREVER for this.

First, they created this cube around the stage, and to the theme of Batman, there was a freaking awesome lightshow.  It went on eternally, building that suspense.  Then....

FINALLY the band appeared, all backlit and "in the cube."  There was this realllllly cool lighting effect that would blink (I don't know how to explain it) and each time, they'd be in different positions.  Still, we're waiting, waiting, waiting for baldalicious to appear.  And when he finally comes walking up, the cube falls to the ground and you get this:

It was SO worth the wait.  He was amazing, glorious, SEXY as all get out.  The guy has pipes like you would not believe!  And he just sang and sang and sang, and interacted with the audience and made me happy.

My picture quality is el-sucko, for which I apologize.  But hey, point and shoots are not meant to zoom at a 12, in the dark.  At least you can see he's there, singing, and semi-squatting.  And did I mention he was SUPER SEXY? My lucious man really liked to walk upstage and sing with his bum to the audience a lot.  No really, he did it A LOT.  It was somewhat amusing to me.  Plus, I like looking at his ghetto booty, just fine!

Just one more pic for your viewing pleasure.  Don't even worry, I have a lot more, but i didn't want to bore you all to death.  Just trust me, there was a really fantastic laser lightshow, and lots and lots and lots of amazing singing.  I was completely deaf by the end of the concert.  I even texted Jer and told him he'd probably have to sign to me for the rest of my life, because these virgin ears of mine are not used to such extreme sound measures.

Aside form the total nerdbomber sitting behind us that had a running commentary going to his poor date, or family, or whoever it was,  and the foot kicker, hand tapper somewhere else behind us, it was a fantastic and fabulous night!  I feel like my sexy rocker quota has been filled.  I can think happy thoughts and recall dreamy memories of my night with Daughtry.

Bye lover boy, until we meet again.  Hmmmm, me thinks Julie looks a little tired here!

Thanks again for a fun evening ladies.  And special thanks to Jer for staying home with the kids so I could go make out with see my boyfriend.  Or at least go let my ears make out with his voice.

Bald heads and eardrum ruptures,

Allyson

Awww Biggest Loser, Why ya gotta go and do that to me?

So I'm sitting here, watching Biggest Loser from last night and I'm totally weeping.  Seriously?  Why does this show have to tug at my heart so?

What had me crying?  The sweet lady in the grey t-shirt that wanted to quit so bad.  She was in so much pain, you could see it, and she pushed through and she FINISHED a 5k, having never done anything. 

I WAS THAT WOMAN! 

I could literally FEEL the agony in her hips and back as she struggled to take each step.  Her comment "I can't even walk through wal-mart" struck another chord.  I was literally at that point once in my life.  I would take a ridin cart in Wal-mart or Target.  I struggled to move from my car to my door.  Every step was agony.  The pain, the despair, the hopelessness.  So yeah, watching her fight and win just had me in a puddle.  I don't ever want to go back to "that girl" or that pain.  That's the one thing I know for sure.  But dammit, why does it ahve to be sooooo much work and so hard all the time?

Also, I NEEDED to see this today, 'cause i've been in a funk this week.  A total gym FUNK.  I have not gone for the last 3 days.  Hello?  Who am I, and what is my deal?  I know how much better I feel when I go, my day goes better, and yet, I just want to flip it the bird.

HAVE I MENTIONED I'M DOING A FREAKING TRITHLON IN 2 WEEKS?  Yeah, I really am, and I am not feeling so prepared this time around.

So, thanks Biggest Loser for reminding me what's important, and that being fat sucks and working out is great.


Since we're on the topic of this show, let's discuss.

The "commercials" when Bob or Jillian non-challantly start talking about the benefits of Extra, or ziploc bags, or Walgreens (what the hell was THAT) I just want to barf.  They are so blatant and stupid.  Thank heaven for DVR so I can fast forward all that crap.

Mike:  Scariest bozo fro EVER!  But, i really like him, and I'm extremely impressed with him.  That dude carries his weight so well.  AND, in all his bigness he ran 5 miles on the treadmill last week.  What is not to love about that?  Can't WAIT to see his makeover!  Do you think he's gay?  I don't, but several others have mentioned they think he is?  What are your thoughts here?

Daris: Second scariest white man fro going.  But, super nice, I quite like him.  Also, so excited to see his makeover.

Ashley:  TRAGIC body shape, I'm sad for her.  But, she's cute and I have grown to really like her.

Sam:  Hello, what is not to love about him?  He's cute, he's so nice and just a good guy.  He's got to already be at goal, which is sort of wierd.

Koli:  Again, what is not to love?  He is just so nice.  It's interesting how different tey are than Sione and Filipe. A lot mellower and calmer.

O'Neal:  I really like him.  However, sometimes I'm mildly creeped out by his oober relationship with his daughter.  I don't know why, it just seems a little much.  BUT, i'm glad they love eachother.  I'm just really proud of him, 'cause he's in a lot of pain all the time, and he's so determined to work through it.

Sunshine:  Meh, I just don't care that much.


The narrator:  WHO is that, and WHY does he have this job?  I hate his raspy wierd voice, it's annoying.

Bob:  I heart him so much.  He's adorable, and warm and fuzzy and a great trainer. 

Jillian:  I like her, I know she's good.  But seriously, the over exposure of her and all her "FIXING" the people like she's a full on psychologist, and the only one who  knows how to do this, sort of gets on my nerves.

Ok, I think I've said my peace here.  Now, back to watching them wrangle some cattle and then I get to teach some lessons.

Big booties and walkers,

Allyson

A Lifesaver and the post that takes a random detour into musical theatre.

First and foremost, I'd like to begin with a big fat thankyou to all who commented and gave me advice and encouragement.  It is much appreciated, I promise! Special props to my Mom for her funny comment.  Whatever Mom, we WERE perfect.

I feel like I should clarify that we here at Casa de la VP DO use the time out method,  where we tell them why they're going and then they must tell us why they were there upon release.  We use flicks and yes, gasp, even spanks when merrited.  We also use privelage revoking, soft talk, sweet talk, mean talk and yell.  Seriously, I think I try every tactic.  Mostly, what I get upon the time out or threatening is a big fat "up yours and a single finger salute" from Miss Sassy. (You KNOW that is sarcasm right?)  But really she will yell at me, scream NO, tell me she's NOT goin be my friend, or that she will frow me in the garbage.  It's awesome.  But occasionally the timeouts do work, and the privelage revoking holds some pull.  Next, we're gonna do soap in the mouth for her "sailor" like ways.  But that said, she did make up a sweet new song this morning, to which the lyrics ellude me.

P.S.  It's now 3 hours later and I have something to report.  Maggie got to experience her first soap tasting today.  Apparently she thought it'd be real "cute" to swear up a dammit streak with our cute, Bishops daughter, babysitter.  She just said it over and over.  So, when I walked in the door, the babysitter informed me that Maggie had used potty words.  I told Maggie that she had been warned and now she got to have soap in her mouth.  To say she freaked out would be an understatement.  She did NOT enjoy the taste, AT ALL.  After she'd finished screaming, and Daddy had helped her clean out her mouth, she came in to get a towell to shove on her tongue (which she held there for at least 40 minutes after) and I asked her if it was worth it?  Then I told her that when I was a little girl my Mom had put soap in my mouth too.  She said "WHY?"  I said it was because I talked sassy to her and said things I shouldn't.  To wich she said; "WHY?"  And I said, I don't know, why did YOU say that word?  And she said, "Because I want to say that word."  AWESOME!  So, something tells me, this won't be the last time she tastes the sweet sweet deliciousness of Lever 2000.


Ok, wanna know what is a lifesaver to me?

This little beauty.....she saves my hide at the ol' grocery store. 
Thank goodness for little cars attached to grocery carts, 'cause my kids feel like they have ARRIVED.  You should see Max steer that thing, he does it fast and furiously, with the hugest happy smile the entire time.

As long as steering wheels are attached (they tend to be broken off a lot at our ghetto Fry's) it keeps the wee ones occupied and happy for our entire shopping adventure.  Otherwise, I'm fighting Maggie to stay near the cart, and Max is standing on his head trying to do backflips off the cart.  AND, when Brooklyn is along, 2 are contained and she can walk along.  Seriously, whoever invented these, I heart you Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!

Please note, I took Maggie out looking 6 shades of awesome this day.  Nasty hair, mumu play dress and all.  See, I don't fight the battle every day.


***************************************************************************
In other news....I will be going to DAUGHTREY tomorrow night.  I'm so excited I can barely contain myself.  Julie and I will be rockin the hot rock'n'roll scene.  You KNOW i'll take pics and come back and report.

I apparently have this wierd secret love for dirty rockers.  It's so OUT of character for me that it's funny.  We just giggle about it around here.  'Cause if you don't know...I'm about as conservative and clean cut as they come.  But, I have the total hots for Steven Tyler, Bret Michaels (prior to gross reality shows) Steve Perry HELLO, and I LOVED Constantine on Idol, and Bo Bice, totally loved him (though his super fine hair grossed me out).  The MOMENT Chris Daughtrey appeared and then sang, I was IN LOVE!  He is SO my favorite AI boyfriend.  I also really liked Adam Lambert....I know, I'm all wierdsy like that.  On the other hand, I was also ridiculously obsessed with Clay Aiken.  I own his cd's, and I went to his concert as well. 

Let's put this into perspective...I have been to a grand total of like 6 concerts in my life.  Let me run them down for you:

Garth Brooks/Tricia Yearwood (when she was brand new and his opening act) = AWESOME!
Lori Morgan/Ricky Skaggs
Bad English (boyfriend took me, they were at the fair)
Harry Connick Jr. (it was his tragic Star Turtle phase, but still fun)
Clay Aiken/Kelly Clarkson = AWESOME concert!
Dianna Krall = Really great, even if I did fall asleep some.

Are you laughing at me yet?  You should be.  But HEY, I bet I've been to more Musicals than YOU!  This is fun, now I'm gonna write them down.

BROADWAY:
1. **Aida
2. *Beauty & The Beast
3. **Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (which I like to call Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, 'cause WOW!)
4. *Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
5. **Fame
6.  **Gypsy
7.  *Hairspray (met Harvey Fierstein, nice but aloof)
8.  *Jeckyl & Hyde
9. **Jerome Robins Broadway
10.  **Les Mis
11.  *Little Shop of Horrors (met Hunter Foster nice guy)
12.  **Mary Poppins
13.  **Miss Saigon
14. *Nine (John Stamos is totally hot, short and super nice, Mary Stuart Masterson, VERY shy)
15.  **Phantom
16.  *Ragtime (All time favorite) (met and chatted with Brian Stokes Mitchell, he's delish)
17.  *See What you wanna See (was literally sitting 3 feet from Idina Menzels singing face)
18.  *Sweet Charity (actually went backstage, toured and met and chatted with Christina Applegate, she's teeny tiny and very funny)
19.  *Sweet Smell of Success
20.  *Take me Out (straight play) (Dennis O'Hare, nicest guy ever, hung with him after Charity as well)
21.  *The Full Monty (toured backstage, sat on set and met Patrick Wilson)
22. *The Play What I wrote (Met Kenneth Branagh, NICEST man ever.  So yummy and kind. Met Nathan Lane and Mario Cantone, TOTAL DOUCHE BAGS!) That's a great story, ask me about it sometime.
23.**The Producers
24.  *Thoroughly Modern Millie (Sutton Foster, sweetest girl, Delta Burke, so nice, but shy)
25.  *Urinetown
26.  **Victor/Victoria (totally was there on a hideous date, DUMB show)
27.  **25th Anual Putnam County Spelling Bee
28.  *42nd Street (3 times)

* = Actually ON Broadway in New York
** = Touring companies
Let it be known that my "gay" boyfriend is an actual stage manager ON Broadway, so shows that I toured backstage, and or went in dressing rooms, and met stars, totally legit.  He's a great friend to have, not just 'cause he gets me in shows and I meet people.
OFF BROAD-Way:
1. A Chorus Line (LOATHE)
2. A Funny Thing....Forum
3. And The World Goes 'Round 
4.  Annie
5. Anything Goes (DUMB show)
6.  Blackbeard12.  Crazy For You (Love)

7. Brigadoon
8.  Cabaret (love)
9.  Camelot (hate)
10.  *Carousel (HATE)
11.  Closer Than Ever

13.  *Fiddler on the Roof
14.  *Footloose (hate)
15.  Forever Plaid (love)
16.  Grease (not my fave)
17.  Guys and Dolls (love)
18.  *Hello Dolly
19.  *H.M.S Pinafore (love) 29.  No No Nanette

20.  How to Succeed (love)

21.  *I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change (ADORE, LOVE, LOVE)
22.  Into the Woods (hate)
23.  *Joseph...Dreamcoat (LOVE)
24.  Kiss Me Kate (hate)
25.  Lil' Abner (despise)
26.  Lucky Stiff (love)
27.  Music Man (NOT a fan)
28.  My Favorite Year (LOVE)
30.  Nunsense (Love)
31.  Oklahoma
32.  Oliver
33.  Once Upon a Mattress (love) 47. The Last Five Years (So great)

34.  Parade (love)

35.  Pippin (LOATHE)
36. Pirates of Penzance
37.  Secrets Every Smart Traveler Should Know
38.  **Secret Garden (ALL time favorite)

39.  Seussical the Musical
40.  Seven Brides (HATE)
41.  She Loves Me (Love)
42. Snoopy
43. Songs for a New World (LOVE)
44. **Sound of Music
45. *South Pacific
46. Sweeney Todd (NOT my favorite) Ok, I really don't like Sondheim.
48. The Merry Widow (HATE)
49. *The Mystery of Edwin Drood
50. The Scarlett Pimpernel (ADORE)
51. The Light in the Piazza (so beautiful)
52. The Whiz
53. The Wizard of Oz*, **More cabarets and reviews than I could possibly count

54. Westside Story (HATE)
55. *Working (wierd)
56. You're A Good Man Charlie Brown (love)
57. 12 Princesses

* = Been in
** = Directed

HOLY CRAP!  I am totally LEGIT! I've seen a buttload of shows!  I didn't even realize how many.  You may note a few GLARING holes in there, such as Wicked and Lion King, 'cause hasn't EVERYONE in the free world seen those?  Yeah, but not me!  Instead of seeing Wicked with the original cast, while in previews in New York, I chose Little Shop of Horrors, 'cause I'd never heard of this Wicked.  IDIOT! I'll never forgive myself for that one.  Also, sad I've never seen Spamalot, 'cause I really like that show.

Anyway, HOW MANY OF THESE SHOWS HAVE YOU SEEN? (Julie and Jen, you don't get to play along, you've played in every pit known to man, AND Julie, you've been to New York more).
WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT I HAVEN'T?
Feel free to ask me any questions you have about parts I've played, or people I've met.  It could totally work out to some fun posts.


Now that this has taken the most ridiculous detour EVER, I will sign off!

Steering wheels and tra la las,

Allyson

Mama Said there'd be days like this...

There are just days, days where you are tired to your core, exhausted beyond anything reasonable.  Those days usually come after you've worked long and hard, a good day out in the yard, or a long hard day of deep cleaning.  Perhaps after a great outdoor hike, playing outside in the sun.  Or maybe staying up all night working on a project and then having to get up early.  Whatever.  Point is, there is usually a good physical reason to feel like this:

But today, I feel like this....like I can barely function.  And on top of that, I feel like this:

All because I get to be the parent to this:

Do NOT be fooled by this adorable and unassuming face.  Behind those baby blues is one DIFFICULT DIVA!

People, friends, fellow Mothers....she EXHAUSTS me to my core (like sucks the emotional life out.of.me. ) And today was just an exceptional doozy of a day.  Don't get me wrong, she is adorable, and funny and smart and can be so very sweet.  However, I think she just might be more opinionated, strong willed and honery than all those other good traits.

Starting at midnight last night, when she REFUSED to let me put a diaper on her ('cause my sweet babysitting dad forgot to do it).  She was screaming at the top of her lungs, she would NOT allow a diaper to touch her body..."It would bug" her.  So, I tried to explain that she might wet the bed, and then it would be gross, and she'd have to wake up, blah blah blah.  She didn't care.  I tried to put a towell down under her.  The audacity of me.  She was so irritated that I'd even think it.  "it would BUG" her.  So, after running out of options, and just wanting her to be quiet and not wake up Max...I let her sleep in her panties.  The good news is, she woke up dry, and was very proud of herself, as was I.  We had a happy dance and celebration right there.  If only the rest of the day could have stayed in that happy place.

7:00 a.m. she came in to wake me up and get the day started.  And WHAT.A.DAY it was.  Pretty much for this entire day, I might of had 2 hours total of non crying, bawly, yelly, I hate your gutts for being alive time from her.

Let's see, what was my list of "offenses":

• I didn't comb her hair right after the shower.
• I didn't have the towell on her right.
• I dared to do her hair for church.  "I don't want a pony, ever, not ever NEVER."
• I ridiculously chose the dress for her to wear.  "It's creepy and GROSS."

I kid not when I say, she cried for an hour and a half STRAIGHT over the damn dress.  But, I had to prove that I stand by what I say.  I told her we weren't changing the dress (because she is wont to change her clothes multiple times, due to their creepy, gross, too small, too big, squished nature).  And for the record, I totally get the whole pick your battle thing, which is HARD for me, 'cause I may or may not have a bit of a control problem.  But, in my defense, there has been numerous Sundays where she has worn her dress up shoes to church (you know, plastic shiny, colored high heels) because they were the ONLY thing she would consider putting on without world war III breaking out.  I have also gone many a day and not touched her hair, even taking her out in public.  And that is HUGE for me.  So, I feel that fighting for her to look like a decent child on Sunday is not too much to ask.

• I gave her a sippy she wasn't pleased with.
• I wanted her to put shoes on, of ANY kind, even dress up slippers.

The screaming and bawling that ensued was overwhelming.  Just getting out the door is a freaking miracle.

• I didn't buckle her in her chair (because she is on Jeres side, AND most days she yells at me, and pushes me away, insisting that SHE can do it herself.  And she can.)

• I took her to the bathroom at church, and I don't exagerate when I say, we were in there for 20 minutes, because she INSISTED that the potty was too big and REFUSED to pee on it.  I didn't say anything, I just stood there, taking deep breaths, trying not to scream, or cry.  She misinterprets me closing my eyes to remain calm, with me going to sleep.  So then she yells at me "MOMMY, DON'T go to sleep."  She finally got that I wasn't happy after I didn't respond or talk to her.  And she finally did go potty.
• I tried to help her put her panties back on.
• I put shorts on her, "They're toooo TIGHT", so I put on a different, bigger pair "Noooooooo, they're tooo tight!"
• She woke up from her nap and had picked out a new outfit.  She put it on, herself, then immediately starts freaking out, because "it's BUGGING" her.  Something was "wrong" with literally every shirt, short, skirt that she put on.  So, the entire afternoon, she mostly cried, or was mad.
• I dared to make her some dinner.  "It's GROSS" "I'm NOT gonna eat it, ever NEVER!" You'll be pleased to know, she did eat it.
• I didn't read enough scriptures. 
• I didn't sing enough songs. 
• I didn't give her a full enough sippy.
• I didn't allow her to sleep in Auntie Julies bed (which she so was NOT invited to do)
• I didn't allow her to give Daddy or Julie kisses and loves for the 10th time.

Seriously, I'm just beyond spent.  I really and truly don't know what to do.  How to deal with and or parent this child in the right way.  There MUST be something that I can do that will be more effective.  Because as it stands, I mostly just want to poke my eyes out, or go lay in my bed and cry. 


Or better yet, sleep, eat, go to the bathroom in peace.  With noone yelling at me, telling me I'm doing it WRONG!

I love my daughter, I do.  And I'm so grateful to have her.  There is nothing better than having her randomly come up and say.."Mommy, I LOVE you."  Or the sound of her laughter as she and Max play.  Her random songs she makes up and sings.  Or watching her love on her babies and listening to her "soothe and boss" them.  She is wonderful in every way and so exasperating at the same time.

I just either need a little guidance and direction from somewhere, or a big FAT vacay.

Good thing she's so FREAKING cute.



Loony bins and lady bugs,

Allyson

Friday Confessional, late night addition.

Oh kids, it's that time of week again.  And, I'm ready to play along with Glamazon and her friends.  Are you?  Don't mind the fact that I'm totally posting it super late and last minute on Friday.  It's just that..

confession number one here:

1. I like my post I did today, and I want to make sure people actually see it first.
2. I am just that ridiculous!
3. I totally did not do my prescribed workout at the gym today, because I got completely caught up in CHARMED.
4. I HAD to see what was gonna happen; Piper, Prue and Phoebe were in a heap of trouble.
5. I believe that show was completely UNDER-rated in it's time.
6. Consequently, I rode 10 miles on the bike instead of 5.
7. I hate, hate, HATE with a firey passion....running. 
8. My hefty hiney just does not appreciate the effort I put into it.
9. I am still sugar free, and secretly, I like it.
10. I like the feeling of actually being in control of something.
11.  My husband would probably say I'm in control of TOO MUCH, but what does he know.
12. I have found WAY to many new blogs to look at.
13. This means I am really spending far to much staring at a computer screen.
14. I really enjoy this time, so I go ahead and let the kids fight it out.
15. I am not winning any good Mom awards right now.
16. I love to cook, except not for the last two weeks.
17. My kids have had an inordinate amount of cheesy roll ups, pizza and hamburgers. (but in my defense...there is ALWAYS some sort of fruit or veggie included, and I make them snack on cheese sticks and fruit.) 
18.  I'm in a shame spiral.
19. I miss singing, like for real singing, in front of people.
20. DON'T tell my husband, he'll insist I go out and do it or something.
21.  Maybe I'm a little afraid that I'm too rusty.
22. I may or may not have a serious addiction to those little cutie oranges.
23.  Pop those bad boys like candy.
24. And this list is officially too long!
25. THE END

WHAT?  I couldn't just leave it at 24, that is so unfinished.

Lifestyles of the "rich and famous"...

Did you have ANY idea that you were totally reading the blog of a "famous" person?  A celebrity if you will, or shall we say a celleb-ruh-TAY! No? Well, the secret is out....I had my brush with "fame" last night.  Try not to swoon to much over me people, this fame thing is difficult.  I need my privacy, no extra pictures or requests to hear my "voice" allowed.  Oh, the life I lead.

Ok, here is how it all went down.

I was going about my day, as usual, when I received a phonecall.  I couldn't take said call, as I was busily teaching a student how to sing better than she already did.  When I finished with her, I checked my message.  It was my ultra cool, super awesome, advertising agency owning friend John.  He asked if I could come down and do a radio spot for him, 'cause "I'd be just perfect."  Oh, and he'd PAY me(no need to say another word friend, you said pay, I'm all ears). 

I of course returned the call...post haste.  Told him that I'd be able to squeeze him in on my already full star calendar, but the pay would HAVE to be worth it.  Or, I just called and said, "you want little ol' me?  are you sure?"  "Ok, I'll be RIGHT there."  Lest he change his mind.

We toodled on over to his super cool and modern office and got to work.  He handed me the script and I looked it over.  It was a commercial for a car dealership in Tucson.  I was s'posed to be the "annoyed, snarky, somewhat sarcastic wife" of this overzealous husband.  John said he just KNEW I was right for it immediately.  Hmmmm, should I feel bad about this?  Is he suggesting something about me?  Whatev, I DO know how to roll my eyes really well.

I read my lines A LOT several times until we felt like it was right.  We played around with the last line, coming up with just the right ender.  There was coaching, there was some giggling, but most of all, there was just me, totally rockin the voice over work. And by rockin I mean, scared to death of messing it up and fighting my own insecurities of how my voice sounds.  For reals, I HATE the way my voice sounds, especially recorded.  But, Jere says, it just sounded like me, and it was all good.

John worked his genius, and FAST magic, cutting, pasting, dubbing, fixing and voila, a commercial was born.  Well, he still needed to add music and sound effects, but other than that, ta da.

He then wrote me a fat little check for my hotly saught after services and jer and I were on our way.

We celebrated my hardcore celebrity by layin down the sweet moola at the ol' CPK (California Pizza Kitchen for you commoners).  I was feelin so in the "flow" that we ordered not one, but TWO appetizers, AND we each got our own pizza.  For reals guys, this being rich and famous thing is AWESOME!

Try not to be jealous, or a hater for how HAWT I look.  And don't fret over the wedding ring on the middle finger.  It's just the latest fad.  I started it...it's the coolest.  I had to black out the actual amount, 'cause I didn't want you to cry in pain at the shear number of 0's.

Now, if you'll just form a line to the right, I'll be glad to give you an autograph.  Right after I go and wipe my sweet little 2 year olds poopy bum (she's calling to me from the bathroom). 

See, it's a glamorous life I lead.

Champagne dreams and cavier wishes,

Allyson


Ok, in all seriousness...I must say thanks to Johnny for being the coolest EVER!  I truly love this guy.  Also, I have to mention, uh-GAIN that I have the grooviest friends, connected all over the place. Thank you  for thinking of me.  Thank you for a really fun little experience. And thanks for the flipside...

See, now I have to tell you this part:

The tragic flip side to "the biz." 

I ended up on the cutting room floor.  sniffle, snort....SIGH!

Apparently when they presented it to the customer (AFTER they had already approved the script) they decided that all they really wanted was prices and sound effects, no clever and whitty reparte between a husband and a wife.  BOO! 

But don't worry, he's sending me over a copy of my star vehicle, so you all can hear my "genius."  Patricia Heaton, she has NOTHIN on me.  HAHAHAHA  Look for it in the future.

And, as a final, throw away note... 

Did any of you SEE the guy who just won the whole freaking lottery?  SERIOUSLY!  It totally supports my theory that only truly white trash people or 90 year olds win it.  Which goes with my other theory that you have to buy a winning ticket at a totally obscure place like Skeeters Gas 'n Go.  'Cause have you EVER heard of someone winning that bought their ticket at the local Kroger, or 7 Eleven?  I thought not.  How can I ever have my world domination if I don't get to win the stinkin jackpot?  Oh what?  I actually have to play?  Whatever, minor detail.  Alls I'm sayin is, I hope the guy doesn't get plowed by the stampede that is about to hit him, called relatives, all wanting a piece of THAT pie. 

Good thing I'm already on my way to wealth and fame with my "on the floor" radio spot.  Phew!

What Dreams are Made of

You know how it goes...every little boy and girl has dreams of what they want to be when they grow up.  They want to be a movie star, a firefighter, football hero, Princess, Ballarina, Policeman, President...you know, something BIG!  Who didn't play and imagine such things as a child? 

Well, apparently, me!

The other night I was chatting with my friend Chris on Facebook.  He was uncertain where he would be this summer break from school.  I told him to get a job here and get his tooshy HOME!  We then had the following conversation.

C: "I don't want to be there.  I want to go to Europe and teach English, or work on a sailing boat, or work at Disneyland."  (This kid is a DREAMER for sure)

Me: "Chris, you are the most random person I know." 

C: "Well, these are my unfulfilled dreams." "Don't you have any of those?"

Me: "Um, don't you know me be NOW?  I'm just not "crazy" like that."

C:  "Well no, you're just practical."

Me: "That's a nice way of putting it.  I mean really, do you want to know what I dreamed of being as a kid?" 

I dreamed of being a................................................wait for it................................................................



I said WAIT FOR IT...........................................................................................................................A







A SECRETARY.  And not just any secretary, a secretary named Janice.  Oh, and a Mom.  Those were my 2 dreams in life.

Chris nearly laughed himself into hysterics over that.  And really, I can see why.  I mean c'mon, WHO dreams of being a SECRETARY, AND having her name be Janice?  Seriously?  But I really did.  It's all i could think about.  I didn't often play house, or school...I played office.  I would take memos and type things and answer phones.

Perhaps it stems from the fact that my Dad owned his own business, and nothing was more exciting than going down to the shop and sitting at the front desk and maybe, just maybe getting to answer a phone call.  And then tattering away on the IBM selectric, pretending to be the fastest typist.  Truly, the stuff dreams were made of.

I didn't mess around in school either.  I took typing in 8th grade, and I rocked the manual typewriter (tragically, I am that old) with 60 words a minute.  But, that wasn't good enough, so I took it again in 9th grade, this time rockin the IBM electric typewriter.  Got up to 90+ words per minute.  Would have been best in the class, but damn that Helena Nielson and her piano playing fingers.  She JUST beat me out.  But people, I had a dream to fulfill........secretary (lest you forgot).

Wanna know what?  I DID become a secretary, receptionist, executive assitant, whatever.  And I was REALLY good at it.  Don't be a doubter...my data entry skillz were off the HOOK!  I could type 100+ words a minute, my mail opening ability..unparalleled.  Making copies, you better believe it!  But, my BEST ability...answering that phone.  I had MAD chops at that.  The people, they loved me!  I had customers that called sometimes, just to chat with me.  For all my grumpy looking face problems, I'm apparently a bubble fest on the phone.  Someday I'll write a whole post about Paul from a MAJOR customer (let's just say, you work out on all their eliptical machines at the gym) and the time he came to visit.  I loved being up front, greeting people, typing up invoices, filing, oh don't get me started..I totally dug THE FILING, the flirting (we had a couple of HOT artists at one point), I loved it all.  I worked in that capacity from the time I was 17 until I was 25ish (with brief stops in accounting and purchasing, NOT so much my favorite or forte).  At that point I transferred to ASU full time and couldn't work anymore.  I haven't set foot in an office ever since.  It seems like an entirely different lifetime ago, the typing, the filing, the office politicing, the attire. 

So yeah, I had a dream, and I totally fulfilled it.


Now what?


Good thing I've got these kids.



Toner cartridges and paper punches,

Allyson

Oh what a day....

Ya'll, it has been a day.

It began inauspiciously (sweet word usage) enough.  Got up with the kiddies around 6:45, toodled about the house doing this and that.  Checked some blogs, looked around facebook, what have you.  Then Maggie informed me she was hungry and that she'd like breakfast.  I asked her what she'd like for breakfast, to which she replied...
"I like some eggs."

Let it be known that most mornings, when I suggest breakfast, her reply is...
"I don't want anyfing...ever, never ever!"  Which is a total lie, because I'll just make it anyway, leave it on table, and she's usually on it like white on rice.  Yeah, I got your number kid, whatever.

However, for her to be requesting, clearly she was famished, and I needed to get on this breakfast making STAT!  So, I whipped up some delicious scrambled eggs with tomatos and cheese and some yummy strawberries, 'cause you know, gotta represent all the food groups and all.


Breakfast is eaten, we're all doing whatever it is we do.  I think I may have been plucking, 'cause well, you KNOW that's what I do. You may find evidence of that here:

I got all ready EARLY because Jere and I had to be to a little church service at the nursing home, OR SO WE THOUGHT.  Jere got ready, we practiced his song (he was singing, I was playing) and then we left.

Here is where we take our first wrong turn on the day.  As we're driving, I ask if he knows where we're going, he tells me yes, it's at this sign at the curve.  Well, that sign at the curve was for the mental hospital, NOT a nursing home.  I start commenting on it, telling him this is where I sang at Christmas time.  There are locked doors everywhere and you have to leave everything out front, etc.  And he starts getting more disturbed.  I assured him that the people wouldn't "hurt" us.  He was still very unsettled.  When we pulled into the parking lot, he said he was NOT going to do it.  I talked him out of his tree and made him go inside.  Well, going inside did nothing to alleviate his fears.  I guess right here I should explain something, in shortest form as possible.  There IS a reason that he was reactiing this way.

When Jere was young, he was difficult, hot tempered, angry, etc. and his Mom didn't know how to deal with him.  Life was not exactly ideal growing up.  Unfortunately, his Mom made a decision when he was 13 that was perhaps not the best, and would forever affect him.  She chose to have him admitted to a mental hospital, unbeknownst to him and completely against his will.  She thought it would help, trying to figure out why he was "depressed".  Instead, it scarred him and nearly irreparably damaged their relationship.  He was in there for 3 months, and it was a VERY difficult, scarey experience for him.  SO,  that is why going into a hospital like that today was NOT on his list of to dos.  It sent his anxiety into overdrive.  It hurt my heart to watch him, as I was playing piano and then during the first talk, because I could see him "hanging on" for dear life.  The stress, and anxiety was overwhelming.  But, I was SO proud of him, because he stood and sang his song, and he sang it beautifully.  And then, he had to conquer another fear (praying out loud) when one of the patients asked him to pray with/for him after the service.  While he got through the hour there, it really threw him off for the rest of the morning.  It's hard for me to understand fully, because I've never suffered with an anxiety disorder, AND I have no idea what his experience in the hospital was truly like.  But, I'm just proud of him for getting through it, and hope that he will be stronger for doing it.

I was once again moved as I sat in this cafeteria watching patients shuffle in for a church service.  Many came with Bibles, they had comments and questions.  I wondered what their stories were, I hurt for them, to be "broken" to such a degree, to be in this situation.  And I was also once again grateful for all I am blessed with, not the least of which is the gospel, and a true knowledge of who I am, and that there is a loving Heavenly Father. Experiences like this are so good for me, to help with that ever illusive "perspective." To read about my last experience, click here:

Anywho, this is already ridiculously long....

We got home and not to long after Maggie came in and said her tummy was hurting.  She told me she was gonna barf and needed the red bowl.  I got her the bowl and didn't think much of it, 'cause really, she's been known to be a little dramatic in her day.  Especially since she had her first official barf a couple of months ago, and was old enough to understand it.  So, a few minutes later she said her tummy hurt and she needed a bandaid ON her tummy.  I dutifully put a band aid on her belly and that seemed to appease her.  She said something about barfing again, and Jere asked if I was gonna do anything.  I snidely commented that "she was FINE" this is a little game she likes to play (and in my defense, she has done this and been FINE) and that she was not gonna barf. 

Needless to say, a few minutes later, she came walking down the hallway, blanket in hand, made a sad moan and proceeded to barf on her blanky and her clothes.  I grabbed teh red bowl, shoved it under her mouth, held it there for a minute or two, no barf was coming, so I put it back on the table.  Then, she decided to unload her eggs and tomatos all over the floor and her.  It was "precious."  In moments like this, I totally lose the Mom ability.  Instead of acting, I just stand there frozen, just watching the barf.  Thankfully, Julie sprang into action, got her a towell and the bowl and then I started cleaning up.  Suffice it to say, she has spent the entire rest of the day alternating between happy and fine and barfing, all over the kitchen flooor, on the cabinets, on two more outfits, on the family room floor again, AND in the garbage can in her room, my room and the kitchen (multiple times).  So awesome!!  The good news is...she is a completely silent barfer!  Score one for the team there.

Needless to say, we didn't make it to church, and our 3rd Sunday dinner plans were severely altered.

Here's to hoping that she's done with that, and tomorrow is a new day. (all my nieces and nephews have been doing this in the last week, usually only lasting 24 hours)

And that my friends concludes my fabulous Sabbath.

Ralphing and rocking,

Allyson

P.S. totally got the new stroller....love it!

Friday Confessional

Ok, for some time now I've been reading ol' Glamazon there and she does this Friday confessional.  I've wanted to play along, but couldn't figure out what the hay ho I was doing.  But alas, I figured out how to put this pic on here, even though it's not correctly linked.  Anyway, I'll start small and give a few little confessions.  If you want to see her confessions, or others, you can go to http://www.glamazonmormonmom.blogspot.com/.


1.  I shaved my entire legs this morning for the first time in probably 5 months.
2.  I probably won't shave them again for another 2 months. (Summer, I need to be a little more kempt)
3. I really want to perhaps, maybe strangle my 2 year old when she insists on "doing EVERYTHING" herself. 
4.  I have a severe patience problem, and want everything done, NOW!
5. I'm only doing confessional right now because I couldn't stand to see my Easter post up any longer.
6. I am the WORST procrastinator in.the.world!
7. Instead of writing new and hilarious blog posts, I just read all of yours.  So keep it up people!
8. I'm totally "cheating" on my "diet" eating plan by eating peanut butter toast right now. 
9.  Meh, there are worse things I could do.
10. I despise video games!

Ok, there, I'm feeling slightly better.

Do stay tuned though, 'cause I SWEAR that I've got some good stuff in the offing.

Peanut butter and a load off the chest,

Allyson

Easter....in an eggshell

Aren't I seriously so clever with my title?  Get it, "eggshell" instead of nutshell?   Get it?  Oh, my sides, they're killing me.

Ok, just kidding, but I will try to keep my comments to a minimum, as I AM a week or two late on this here post.

As per usual, I'm somewhat lame-O when it comes to this Holiday.  Let's face it, I only do Christmas up right, and even then that is begrudgingly.  Anywho, this year we attempted our first egg coloring session....I'd say it went pretty well.

We did our dying at my Sister Jennys house with her kids.  Maggie was very focused and intense about her job as a colorist.  She really enjoyed it and did a good job.

This is what Max did to stay occupied.  It worked quite nicely.

 

So Maggie could get her color on and make pretties like this.  Why is she nudey you ask?  Because I didn't want any dye accidents on her clothes. See, I'm always thinkin, alwayssss thinkin.

After all egg coloring was done, there was a little of this, which made the kids oh so happy.  To bad my kids are a little jump retarded.  Oh well, they still enjoyed themselves.  We followed this up with some pizza and then a trip home to bed, so the Easter bunny could make his appearance.

 

Why what is that third basket you may ask yourself?  That would be Auntie Juliebunny, she made one for Jere. 'Cause we all know he's just a big KID anyway.  There are balloons because that is ALL my kids can think about.  I had perhaps, as some form of motivation mentioned to Maggie that if she behaved, maybe just maybe the Easter bunny would bring her an Easter balloon.  Wouldn't you know it, he came through.

Max only has eyes for ONE thing.  Trust me, he woke up every morning for a week chanting "Awoon, awoon"  which being translated is BALLOON, BALLOON!!

We had a little egg hunt in the house.  And be sure, that after reading everyone elses blogs about THEIR egg hunts, all fancy outside and stuff, i felt a little sheepish.  But alas, at least they had a hunt at all. Please do  note miss Sassy pants in all her diva glory with her full basket.  She sort of smoked Max on the hunt.  Besides, Max thought the eggs were more for this:

We called them egg bombs, 'cause that's how Max worked them.  Jelly beans as far as the eye could see.

I thought this was the pic of them eating all the jelly beans off the floor.  But alas, it's just a funny picture of Maggie.  What IS that face anyway? 

After we'd had enough festive goodness, and Max went down for his nap, we all settled in for some conference watching.  Well ok, Maggie watched a little Cinderella, her little "station" cracked me up.  Jere soaked his sore toe and we watched conference in all our pajama'd glory. 

I almost forgot.  Between sessions of conference, Gramma Peggy came over and played Easter Bunny all over again.  She of course spoiled the kids with another big basket full of toys and candy and stuff.  They have no idea how good they have it.  Maggie got a tea set that makes noises and she LOVES it!  She would hardly let anyone near it for days.  Thanks Gramma for all the Easter gifties.

Once conference was over and we'd gotten ready for the day, we headed out to P&L's for a delicious Easter dinner with all the fam.  It was a grand time of food, fun and family.  My favorite!

All in all a delightful Easter was had by all.  The candy all still sits in a bag on our counter...the balloons have died and the sunglasses are lost somewhere in the house, but we look forward to next year for more fun and more Easter goodness.

Bunny ears and balloon boys,

Allyson