Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sisterhood of the Traveling reals edition!

Not a picture of actual traveling pants detailed in this story.  A picture of me, in pants of any kind, showing my ASSets just wasn't in the cards.  Nor was showing them just laid out, 'cause well, they're all kinds of big.  Just imagine that THESE are indeed the pants of which I speak.

From the file of "RANDOM" I'd like to share this little story:

I have in my possession a pair of pants(well jean capris if you MUST know) a MAGICAL pair of pants.  And I do truly believe that they hold magical qualities.  Qualities such as those in the ever famous "traveling pants" book series.  If you know nothing about it, the shortest version of the story is this.

Four best friends, all of various sizes and shapes.  One buys a pair of jeans, and somehow, some way, Magically if you will, those jeans fit ALL those girls.  Even the fat friend.  So, they pass them around to each other and then stories branch off from there.

So, where did these magical, mystical pants come from?  How is it that I have them, and WHY do I believe they have this power?

Well ok, I'll tell you:

Almost 5 years ago, my older sis and I went clothes shopping.  I had just lost my nearly 200 lbs. and was, for the first time, since like 6th grade, close to the same size as her.  However, we are built as differently as two people could be built.  Where I'm wide she's narrow, where she's thick, I'm thin.  I have legs that need their own zip code, while she, even at her "fattest" has totally awesome legs.  I wear smaller sizes on top, 'cause I'm a TRUE pear, and she's a TRUE apple.  But, I digress.

We were shopping, and she thought that she could be pregnant.  No wait, she knew she was pregnant.  And she was nearly 40.  It was a HUGE surprise and a little overwhelming, but there it was.  Anyway, she bought these pants, and she loved them.  She got bigger and more pregnant and she wore those pants until she had that baby.  They fit her the ENTIRE time. (I wouldn't be surprised if she wore them into the hospital on day of delivery.  She REALLY loved them.) Then, she wore them for 3 years AFTER she had that baby. And they always seemed to fit just right.   Well, about 6 months ago she had lost enough weight that their magic had faded and they no longer worked on her.  So, she gave them to me.  ME, the one whose ASS is as big as a Winnebago.  But, I took them anyway.  And you wanna know what?  They fit.

They are marked as a size 20.  Which to some of you may seem enormous, I get it.  But, considering I started at a size 34/36, it's downright svelte for me.  But, for the record, I don't wear a size 20 pants at all (see aforementioned comment referring to Winnebago).  Mostly 22's.  Whilst my top is an 18/20 and sometimes 14/16.  But, there they are....these pants....20's......and, they fit.

I wear them at least once every other week.  And as I happened to be wearing them Monday, and saw my sister and her LACK of booty.  I just laughed.  I was reminded once again......

Those traveling pants.......theys MAGIC. 

That's the only explanation I can come up with.

So, who is up for a try?

In a completely unrelated note, I JUST noticed, for the first time that there is spell check on here.  This is only mildly embarrassing.  And yet, exciting.



I would like to send a little shout out to the makers of Veggie Tales.

Dear Veggie Tales;

Thank you from the deepest parts of my big beating heart for writing such silly and clever little songs.  Thank you for being magical in your ability to INSTANTLY calm a crazed 2 year old in the midst of screaming and spewing forth exorcist type venom at me for buckling her seat "to hard" or touching her arm the wrong way, or making her leave the house, or whatever.  In mid scream/bawl, as I turn the car on and the music begins  "Your big, I'm little."  or "SABUUUUU".  The demons retreat and my adorable 2 year old is singing along at the top of her lungs.  Truly magic. 

Feel free to ask Maggie anytime..."What's a Sabu anyway?"  'Cause the answer is sooo cute!

Vegily yours,



My Mother in law (hi Peggy) has what can only be called an obsession with all things QVC.  We all fear a little for her, that one day we'll walk in and find her buried under an avalanche of QVC boxes. (don't get upset Peggers, there is a touch of sarcasm and whit there) But, it makes her happy, and I've been the recipient of some fine gifts from there.  Such as my floor steamer (which I quite enjoy).  Anyway, we like to gently mock her and her shopping.  But, the other night...I dare say we fell under it's spell. 

Julie came home and said that Peggy had called all agog over a computer that was gonna be being sold on there.  So, she should turn on QVC right away and check it out.  So, we dutifully turned to the station and began watching.  I can safely say, I've looked/watched QVC a total of ONE time in my life.  So anyway, no computer was on yet, HOWEVER a dandy of a scanner was being sold.  The dude selling it was sooo annoying and really just ANNOYING.  But, the lure of that scanner and all it's greatness was too much.  Jere commented..."I can see why Mom buys all this SH.  I'd totally get this." 

And, well, we totally did. 

What?  We couldn't help it.  The siren call of QVC proved to much.

Look out Internet and bloggy world, once that scanner gets one and nothing is safe.  I'm so excited.  Consider yourself warned.

Oh and also, I share this story as a cautionary tale.  DO NOT WATCH QVC, AVOID AT ALL COSTS, AVOID, AVOID!

You can thank me later.

Now, if you'll excus me, I'm off to make a fancy (and by fancy I mean, it has balsamic and feta in the ingredients) new recipe for dinner.  I'll let you know how it turned out.

Magical pants and QVC rants,



Rocketgirl said...

Ha! Speaking of QVC, you just gave me the perfect inspiration for Throwback Thursday, thank you :)

And I have a magic dress. Jared got it for me after the baby - Shabby Apple, I had to beg for it - and it makes me look all flat and svelte. It's AMAZING.

And last story, Solei was watching Veggie Tales one time while I was in the bathroom and I heard a funny St. patrick explaining the Trinity as a shamrock - "the shamrock has 3 leaves and is one, the Father, Son and HG are one being too!" That;s when I scream and turned the tv off. We don't watch that one anymore :)

Dixiechick said...

You failed to mention the other day that it was a QVC scanner. Sucker!!! I totally hear you though. Infomercials, as a whole, are hard for me to resist. I saw this Brazilian Booty workout DVD thing the other day and TOTALLY wanted to buy it. I had to resist out of sheer principle, but geesh....the lure is amazing.

Dana said...

magic pants = spandex :-)

Ahhh QVC. In my old life, I was an addict. The cure: be so busy you forget what a television even looks like.

Diane made bruchetta tonight. Bet it had some balsamic and feta too. I was the lucky recipient of a piece. Pretty sure I died and went to heavan.....even had homegrown tomatoes from her garden. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

I totally want a pair of magic pants. And whatever it is you're making for dinner. I love balsamic and feta.

Natalie said...

I need some of those magic pants! And you lost nearly 200 lbs? And I'm complaining about 10? Congrats to you for doing something amazing!!

Laraine Eddington said...

Congrats on your weight loss and your magic pants. It is devastating when your magic pants wear out. I'm still in mourning over a beloved pair.

LanaBanana said...

Ahhh, this post was quite excellent. And Dana's comment reminded me of a DELICIOUS bruschetta I made one time. Mmmmm.

Love the magic pants post. That is quite a wonder!

Jen West said...

You really have the gift of written gab. QVC is dangerous... but then I have a husband who is sold on EVERY infomercial he sees!

Kellie said...

What I really want is a magic wand, but I'd settle for magic pants. I LOVE Veggietales (used to laugh my butt off watching them with my college buddies) but my kids don't. It's wrong, just plain wrong.

DianD said...

I've seen those magic pants. It is amazing that they'd fit both of you, but awesome that they do. Just a comment on Rocketgirl's comment about the St. Patrick and him explaining the trinity like a shamrock. The truth is, when St. Patrick got to Ireland and saw the shamrock with it's three leaves, it reminded him of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost and that is why the Shamrock is the national plant of Ireland. It was a reminder to the people every time they saw it of "the" trinity. And, since it grows so abundantly over there, they were reminded constantly of that Heavenly trio. I loved that story and every time I see a shamrock, I think of the Godhead. So there you have it. All in the understanding I suppose.

Loved the post of the peaceful times with Maggie...Nice they come just often enough to remind us of the true, sweet people that make our lives so interesting and wonderful. :)

Peggy said...

Testing....Peggy trying to comment.

Kim said...

Speaking of QVC, someone could make a fortune selling those magical pants on QVC!

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