Oh the SHAME!

I sit before you in a shame spiral.  The time has come, there is just something you must know.  Ok, I just have to get this off my ample bosomed chest.  Something that has been bothering me.  I must be honest with you, my people.  Oh, the shame, the SHAAAAAMMMME!

I'm afraid that I might, I could possibly, I think.....................................................

I've stepped over to the darkside and become a  ::GASP::

Wal-mart shopping REGULAR!  ::HORROR:: ::SHRIEK::

::ducking in fear:: Don't judge me.  Ok fine, judge, I do, but still.  Don't leave me over this, ok?

I know, I know.  Believe me, it pains me to no end to have to admit this to myself, much less to you.  I've been such an outspoken hater of that vile and awful place for so long.  And, truth be told, I STILL feel that way. I think The Wal of Mart is of the devil.  It's ugly and tacky and sometimes I want to punch that damn yellow smiley in the face.

BUT....what is a girl to do?

Since the move, the land of white trash and cheap buys is merely seconds from my front door.   As opposed to my lovely Target, which is now a full 5+ miles away.  And let's face it, in my need for instant gratification and convenience, that is a LONG way to go.  Especially with all the traffic lights between here and there.

Also, damn the man, Wal-Mart IS cheaper for many, many items. 

AND, they still carry my L'oreal foundation, and Target RUDELY stopped carrying it.

Also, they carry sooooooo much more stuff, some of it completely worthless and non-useful.  But some of it, ever so useful.  Sometimes (read most times) I  didn't even KNOW i needed some of the things I buy.  But sure enough, it was there, and it hopped into my cart, and I bought it.  And whilst on the topic of carrying things others don't;  They are the only ones carrying large packages of Austins peanut butter/cheese crackers for a mere buck 98.  Those are a staple food item here at Casa VP.

Besides, I wonder....where else can I go to see such a wide and colorful variety of toothless codgers, slutty teens, scarey hoodlums, whitetrashy couples in various forms of undress, and dirty, filthy children, sometimes ONLY dressed in a diaper at midnight?  I ask you....where?  And, at least I don't have to feel bad when I go there in a situation like this

On the flip side....this morning, while returnig a few items to the hall of shame, some delightful little lady said to me, as I passed....."Your hair is gorgeous."  This brought a large and completely unplanned for smile to my face.  I may have even made a couple of new eye wrinkles as I exclaimed "THANK YOU." And then danced a jig out the door. I mean, when one has hair esteem issues such as I, NOTHING is kinder than that.  So:

Dear lady at Wal-mart,

Thanks ever so much for making my day and making me feel like a rockstar as I perused the aisles of  the worthless junk of Wallyworld.  You're the best.  And thanks for restoring my faith in humanity, or at least that there are other shoppers out there that don't think WWF is the coolest thing ever.

Hot hair hotty,

Allyson

SEE...NOT BAD ALL THE TIME!

Bare bellies and fat rolls,


Allyson


And now, I shall leave you with just a few pics of some Wal-mart shoppers (thankfully none of which I had to encounter this morning).  You can thank me later.  

Now that's HAWWWT!  Sexy thing.

Really?  REALLY?  Why did he EVEN bother with the shorts?  No, I need to know.  What was the point.  Because at this position, those shorts are nothing but a hinderance to walking. This is just beyond mind boggling to me.  And frankly, I see it FAR to often.

Now THAT is classy.  Totally a shirt I'D wear in public.  Wow!

# 1 reason to avoid Wal-mart, RIGHT THERE!

So amazing the balls people have to go in public.

I rest my case!

 Oh, and if you haven't gone and looked at http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ , you must. No, you MUST!!! Some of the funniest and most disturbing things I've ever seen.