Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Your taste is suspect at best....

This girl.....

This outfit...

What can I say?

This morning(well EVERY morning) Maggie INSISTED on dressing herself.  She is very proud of herself for MATCHING colors.  So, no matter what, if their is pink, then ANY other pink is fair game, blue with blue, purple with purple, etc.  So her first choice was the shirt, and when I calmly offered up a variety of denim shorts, she resoundingly said NO!  Then she spotted the plaid shorts and Voila! a marriage made in clashing heaven.  And then, THEN next thing I know she is informing me that she WILL be wearing tennis shoes.  People, this is a girl who I could NOT pay to even put socks on, much less wear closed toed shoes.  So please note the ruffle socks and the pink tennis shoes.  When she was complete (hey at least she let me do her hair; which these days is dictated to be a BIG ponytail in the back, LONG) I could NOT turn down the opportunity to take a picture.  So I said, "Oh Maggie, I really need to take your picture."  She said "ok" and then popped this pose out. 


Ah me, I remember the days when I got to dress her like my little doll.  She always looked like a million bucks in her well matched clothes and cute hair and bows.  But alas, she turned into a sniveling, snarling, white hot ball of terror and no longer am I allowed to help her look presentable.  Good thing her face is so cute.

What in the world will tomorrow bring. 

Her FIRST day of preschool.
My baby is growing up too fast.
There will be a battle, 'cause I WILL throw down and insist on a well matched outfit to meet her classmates in.
I'm ridiculous like that.

But, I do love her.  Even when she gets mad (which really is at ANYTHING) and yells out "FINE, then Mommy I'm NOT your best friend." (she thinks this is a gutt punch)

Her current idea of super mean, this is the WORST thing she can say is....
Mommy, you're a dangit!
This show is a dangit!
Maxi is a dangit!


Mommy, you're WIERD.
This lunch is WIERD.

She thinks she is soooo insulting me BAD.

She also likes to use this charming manipulative tactic.
After being disciplined, or told NO, or sent to her room...
I hear..."Mommy you are mean. Shame on you Mommy. When you put me in my room, it hurts my heart."
"When you tell me I am sassy to you, it hurts my heart Mommy."
Ocassionally this tactical maneuver works, and I feel bad....for a minute.  But then I tell her that her bad behaviour hurts my heart MORE.

Last night I made dinner.  It was a chicken and rice number.  So, I called the kids over to eat.  Max was excitedly sitting in his chair when Maggie said. 

"I will NOT eat this lunch, EVER NEVER."  "I'm NOT even hungry, I'm NOT eating this EVER." 
So now Max is along for the ride.  Suddenly he's not interested in his dinner.  He watches EVERY.SINGLE.THING she does and copies it.
Anyway, she proceeds on this ridiculous tirade for a good 3 minutes.  Saying that she HATES this dinner, it's WIERD and it's GROSS, and she ONLY likes cheesy rollups and noodles macaroni.  And I kid you not, she's  raging on, yelling that this is disgusting (mind you I have not reacted at all.  I've just said, that's ok, then you don't have to eat it and I continued to eat mine calmly, AND she's been holding her fork the whole time)so picture it...crazy rage talk then  ::stick fork in rice:: this is wierd, I will ever never eat it ::put fork in mouth:: and "I LOVE THIS DINNER, it is soooo YUMMY."  ::eat, eat, snort, munch, chew, moan.::  No, not kidding.  Julie witnessed it too. She completely changed her mind MID sentence.   I seriously nearly fell off my chair.

I think she gets possessed by random angry demons, 'cause nothing else makes sense.

Good thing she gobbled up her delicious dinner.  But the damage was done...Max still would have NOTHING to do with it.

THEN...later on.

Max had carried a full cup of water over to the sink and dumped it in.  Apparently he did some dropping of H2O on his way.

Maggie is spouting off about something again, and suddenly she's on the floor and totally bawling.  I look over and she's sprawled out, all "ass up in the neighbors yard".  I ask what happened and she said she slipped, between screams and tears.  And THEN she says..."I'm NOT wearing these panties, EVER NEVER, they're wet."  She stands up in all her consternation, takes a big step and seriously slips in the water again, virutally doing the splits and ending up in the same aforementioned position.  At that point I was crying I was laughing sooo hard.  I might have also been doing the cross and clench (I needed to pee) as I giggled uncontrollably.  Yes, I AM that mean of a Mom.  But c'mon...she deserved it.  All that needless raging and yelling.

In the end, she got her new panties, notihng was broken and she went to bed and slept soundly.

In spite of the random psychotic breaks, she really has some sweet moments and funny thoughts.  I appreciate her random spoutings of "I Love Yous".   And this phrase..."I should better."  As in  "I should better go get that." "I should better go tell Daddy." etc.  It just cracks me up.

She's really into needing to tell me "secrets."  "Mommy, MOMMY I NEEEED to tell you a secret, IN.YOUR.EAR"  So, I'll lean down and most of the time it will literally be a "silent" mouth moving saying nothing, which I'm meant to just "respond" to.  OR, she will whisper.."Mommy, ummm, I LOVE YOU."

Now Max is insisting on telling me secrets.  Except he says..."SECRET"  "IN EAR".  I put my ear down by his mouth and he says "SECRET...EARRRRR."  Silly boy.

Maggie continues to sing and play piano and make up songs.  Yesterday was about an angry troll, and today was all about the stars.  She's pretty proud of her work too.

She's in my friends singing group on MOnday afternoons.  It makes me so happy to drop her off and know that she gets to sing and dance and play for an hour, and she loves it.  She came home today and sang me some of her songs. And by sing I mean, ONE LINE.  But, it's cute none the less.

She's getting so big, so fast.  It scares me and thrills me all at the same time.

I sure love my silly, beautiful, exhausting, frustrating and FUNNY girl!

Even if her taste IS suspect!

Plaids and polkadots,



the shoafs said...

running late to get ready for work, but i WILL be back to give this the comment love that it so richly deserves! so. many. thoughts. right. now!!

adriel, from the mommyhood memos said...

oh little girls! i remember as a child going through a phase where i wouldn't let mom touch my hair. and then there was the i-only-wear-dresses-and-they-must-have-a-belt-over-the-top-whether-it's-necessary-or-not phase. apparently that one was a doozy. ;)

but regardless, your princess still looks adorable! :D

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

She looks so sweet, clashing patterns be damned. :)

I always secretly wonder if Colin is, like, bipolar or something - because he does the same type of thing. Goes from zero to 100 in a matter of seconds and then back again. Maybe it's just age? I hope so.

His idea of an insult is, "Mommy, you don't make the best chocolate milk!" Oh, snap!

LambAround said...

LOL! What is she going to say when she reads this post one day and sees that you are teasing all of her cleverness? ;)


LadyCarma said...

Having "been there, done that" with several of my brilliant children, Maggie's behavior is so totally NORMAL. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Kids are distractible. Kids are changeable. This does not make them "special needs" kids. Go with the flow and tell yourself "this to shall pass."

Gigi said...

First off, I think her outfit is just fine! Cute! At least it's not two mismatched patterns.

I have a very headstrong 5 year old daughter and I have given up fighting certain battles with her, including clothing. It's just.not.worth.it.

Their sassiness will serve them well when they're teenagers, and they don't let anyone pressure them into doing something they shouldn't. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.

Kristina P. said...

She sounds like she's 16!

jen said...

I'm with Gigi--outfit doesn't bug me at all. Sorry. I must have really poor taste.
And watch out. Sounds like a Lily in the making.

DianD said...

Listen! With what is being passed off in the fashion magazines as "fashion", Maggie's is mild! She'd NEVER make their covers cause she's not AWFUL enough. In fact from the picture, it doesn't look bad at all! Just hope the worst she calls you is a "dangit!" Some of my kid's names for me were much worse! Luckily, we all survived and I have marvelous children now! :) Mom

Jason and Kate said...

Outfit is cute! In fact I have some red plaid shorts (mixed with brown) that I wear with a red shirt sometimes but now I'll have to think twice before wearing it. :) This post had me laughing and laughing. I'm glad my kid isn't the only one that likes "cheesy rollups and noodles macaroni." Ah, what a clever post!

Greg and Tammy said...

Oh I just love me some little sassy girls. Boy could Emma and Maggie have a blast together. :) LOVED all her cute and not so cute stories. It's reality. Hope preschool went well.

the shoafs said...

first of all....giiiiirll....i need to send you some pics of the WINNERS that hannah's come out of her closet wearing. seriously. at least maggie's were in the same color palette. hkay has tried to muscle in on the school clothes decision making process, but i AIN'T havin' it. nope. i am super controlling and she'll have to deal with it until she's big enough to take me out. ;P and the sassiness?? LOVES it! mainly because hannah's really not all that sassy. she's pretty compliant. now, ask me how i think ava's gonna be?!?! yeah....i'll be getting mine in about 2 years. until then, i'll just giggle at maggie's antics and go ahead and get my anti-rage meds filled in preparation for the smartiness that will pour forth from my beloved third-born. and the food thing?? Hi-lar-i-ous! only a three-year-old (or, well....me) can turn on a dime like that. that was basically my reaction to creamed corn.....and that was just last year! whew...okay. i'm done now. see what happens when i gets me some time on my hands???

the shoafs said...

oh....and one last thing... every time i complain to my mom about hannah putting together atrocious getups, she reminds me that when i was in the first grade, i INSISTED on going to the store wearing a belt on my head. like right across my forehead...you know, the very spot they would have to lobotomize me now in order to allow hannah to do that very same thing?!?!

Minky {moo} said...

I love that you let her wear that! My mom always let me pick my outfits and I may or may not have worn a ball gown to the 2nd grade more than once! I love it!

You are not a dangit. But that is dang funny.

The Coolest Allen Family said...

Knowing how hilarious and talented you are, I have a feeling that if blogs were around when you were a kid, your mom would have been sharing, equally as funny, stories.