ANYWAY....randomly reading entries (sidenote: some of my titles were way funnier than actual entries) and decided this was an easy way to 1) get an entry and 2) share some interesting bits of my "former" life.
So, read on friends, this one is short and sweet. I KNOW RIGHT? Who WAS I?
August 10, 2006
4:12 p.m.
<- That DID happen! ->
You see that? Do you? Huh? Are you thoroughly grossed out yet? No? Well, let me tell you a little story.
It's Tuesday morning, 2 a.m. I'm SOUNDLY sleeping when suddenly, I wake up, freaking out. I don't know why, I have no idea. All I know is, something is wrong. My ear is hurting, something is WRONG. I start thrashing about, and screaming. Jer wakes up scared to death. I'm yelling something is wrong, shaking my head around. It feels like water is gushing out of my ear or something, but no it's not. Then I realize, there is a BUG inside my ear. I can hear it on my eardrum. I freak out even harder. I shake and pound my head harder, and yell some more. Then, I FEEL it come out of my ear. I scream "It WAS A BUG, IT WAS A BUG IN MY EAR." Jer turns on the light, and sure enough, there was that hideous bug crawling on the covers. I jumped up, got a papertowell, picked it up, squished it to death and threw it away. Then, I went to the bathroom where I was so freaked out I could barely function. I found some cotton and put a piece firmly in each ear. Ain't NO WAY some nasty ass will EVER take up residence in MY ear again. Holy SHIT! It was sick and horrible. Anyone else ever experience that? Let me know.
So, there's my "excitement."
This whole week I've been watching my sisters kids while she's been doing the back to school getting ready stuff. I'll be watching her little girl (I'm talking about Brooklyn here, who is now 4 practically 16. So strange to go back in time BEFORE Brooklyn) for the whole school year. Oh, what's taht you say? You thought I was teaching school? Yeah, so that was my big news. I QUIT!!!(Did you know I taught school? Yeah well, I wasn't so great at it) I will NOT be returning to the evil spawn of satan school. I will NOT be teaching. I'm so happy. It was the BIGGEST relief in the world to give them my resignation letter. They're dumbasses and wholly evil and corrupt! May they rot in a fiery hell forever! I'm FREE!!!
Well, must run!!
Peace
There ya have it. Consider yourself "Thrown back". Now the girls and I are off to make some cookies and then perhaps I'll think about dinner. I'm cool like that.
Remembering and Cookie calories,
Allyson
14 comments:
I just threw up in my mouth.
OMFG. Really? REALLY? I knew they called them "earwigs," but I had no idea that they would ACTUALLY GO IN YOUR EAR. I swear I just picked one of those up off my kitchen floor today! They've been everywhere this summer!
You just gave a voice to one of my big fears this summer. We have had earwigs in the bathtub, crawling on the floor, and a couple in the sheets. Not my sheets, my kids, but still...I may sleep with ear plugs tonight!
HOLLA! Diaryland, how we love thee, but yet, jumped ship because you were colossially lame.
That bug is gross too.
what the? that is terrifying!
I recall the day quite vividly and the retelling of the event, but it was super great to read it in your diaryland way. Awesome.
Brooklyn was so teensy back then. Crazy.
See, you worried about getting another bug in your ear. I on the other hand would've worried about whether or not the one that was already in there laid eggs that would then hatch in there!
Because I'm twisted and disgusting like that.
Umm.... GROSS!!!! Can't say that has ever happened to me... (KNOCK ON WOOD)
I have to laugh, because I remember you teaching there, taking Tuck there for voice lessons.
It really wasn't your thing, now, was it?
Just FYI, they don't call them earwigs for nothing!
OK so i was trying to figure out what kind of bug that was, was reading the post alloud to my Joe and was seriously freaking out so bad while I read it that he forced me to stop and close the window, so today I clicked the link, and quickly scrolled down to the comment link so you could know I did my best to read it, but I can't be having nightmares!!!! AAHHHH!
that might be the scariest thing ever! truly, i'd be terrified in a way i've never been before if that happened to me!
i'm thinking that i would permanently seal off my ear holes if i ever woke up and had one of those fall out. for serious.
and schools ARE evil....but apparently so am i, so it's a match made in heaven! (and yeah...i just put "evil" and "heaven" in the same thought....WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????) ;)
That's so disgusting. I can't handle that stuff. My parents, for some reason unknown to me, let me watch the star trek movie that had the bugs in the ears. I am still haunted by that scene. It is the source of my extreme hatred of all things sci fi. I think I would have died. I do love your choices of words.
sometimes shit is really the only word that does a situation justice.
I didn't remember that you had a friendly "earwig", but I remember when dad woke up pounding his head (I think he gave himself a concussion) because he had a bug crawling in his ear!!!! AWFUL! I don't know how it possibly escaped the bug man cause we ALWAYS had our house sprayed! Anyway, not good!
Somehow I get the impression that you really hated teaching! Interesting, funny and sad because you are a good teacher.... maybe just more one on one type, though?
Here's to no more bugs in the ear and no more teaching that you don't want to do.
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