Monday, December 27, 2010

A "deuce."

You know, it was ok when Max removed his diaper while sitting at the kitchen table.  Not gonna make a big deal of it.

It was mildly amusing when he was standing there in front of Maggie shaking his "mandingle" yelling "see my pee pee Maggie, see my pee pee." To which Maggie was wholly and completely unamused or caring.  She was looking at something else, and when she finally DID respond, all she could say was.  "Sorry Maxi i was working on my lesson."

I may have completely cracked up when I looked over at him as he was saying at the top of his lungs "sticker on my pee pee Mama, sticker on my pee pee."  And he had taken a little pink flower sticker and stuck it on the tip of his peeper.  He'd made his own censor button, if you will. 

And, it was even funnier when he ripped said sticker off and OUCHED at the pain of it all.

Then, when he carefully got onto his "bike" for a freballin, nudey ride around the kitchen, I smiled.

However, after a minute it got suspiciously too quiet.  And then I heard the tell tell low grunt.  As I ran into the Kitchen...

It was NOT funny to find THIS:
my humblest apologies to any and all who will be completely grossed out by the picture you're about to see.  Look away if you must.


No really, I'm WARNING you!  This is Gross.

Jere said it was even too gross for him.
Consider yourself warned........

A POOP, a giant sized el duke-A, a hudinski IN my fridge.  He was standing with the fridge door open, bum facing the crisper drawer.  That is actual feces smudge ON my fridge.  And as a sidenote, why is it that until one tries to take a picture of their house they don't realize just how grossly dirty something is.  Clearly, time for a scrubbing of the refridgerator, for many reasons...obvi.
I was mortified, and also secretly laughing myself insane. Because really...WHO DOES THAT?  He got a smack on the bum, and then left little poop drops all the way to his room.  It was awesomeness personified.

When I told him he needed to go on the toilet, he got completely offended and screamed NO and cried.  Why the fear little guy, why the fear?

This vision of adorable was left in the poops wake, wondering WHY brothers are so gross:

Deuceily yours,



Natalie said...

Little boys are all kinds of disgusting. I've been finding booger trails on my couches. It's awesome to be a mom, isn't it?

Kristina P. said...


TornadoTwos said...

I am laughing so hard at this I have tears running down my face. Your little nicknames crack me up. And since I've had more then my fair share of pee/poo "accidents" throughout my house, I find this outrageously funny. I've had poo in a lot of places it didn't belong, but never the fridge, lol.

Aimee said...

Wow I am sorry... That really sucks. I am guessing this is one of the reasons my boyfriend doesnt want kids. He doesnt do well with animal poop nonetheless human poop. I am sure if I told him about a little kid pooping in a crisper drawer he woudl puke.

At least he max is cute though right? Hopefully he gets over his fear of the toliet soon. Do you ave one of those baby seats (whatever they are called) for the bathroom? I think I too was afraid of going to the toliet when I was a youngin...

Good luck with it :)

Adoption of Jane said...

HAHAHAHA I love hearing poop stories from other mothers. It makes me feel better about the first morning in our brand new apartment and I woke up to the worst odor in history... opened my eyes and saw my son butt naked in the middle of the room and Picasso Poopy art all over the walls, new tv's, every room, in the fridge, etc... makes your lil' pile look nice right? lol! Hope y'all had a Merry Xmas and a Poop Free New Year!

alison said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i laugh because MY fridge is 3000 miles away from your little pooper. and also because my son never really had the urge to take off his diaper and poop in unauthorized areas of my house. granted, i AM dealing with a 3.5 year old who will pee in the potty but will NOT poop in the potty for anything, but at least he contains it in the confines of his pullup.

and the thought of max with his own censor button is seriously making me giggle. i have your hands full girl!

Mel said...

I can't deal with this post and I'm so sad I read it for the first time when I was sitting down to eat lunch.